GOING SOUTH.
After the first shock of our sorrow was over, the question arose as
to what we were to do in future for our support. Grandma was already
old, while mother was not so young as she had been once, and neither
could do much towards their own maintenance, which necessarily would
devolve upon us their children. It had ever been a pet project of
mine to go South as a teacher, and when one day in looking over a
Boston paper I accidentally came across the advertisement of a
Georgia lady, Mrs. A. D. Lansing, who wished for a private governess,
I resolved at once to apply for the situation, greatly fearing lest I
might be too late.
I was not, however; for after waiting impatiently for a few weeks, I
received a letter from the lady herself, who, after enumerating the
duties I was expected to perform and the branches I was to teach,
added, in a P.S.: "Before making any definite arrangements with Miss
Lee, Mrs. Lansing wishes to be informed if, either by her _friends_
or _herself_, she is considered pretty, as a person of decidedly
ordinary looks will be preferred."
"Spiteful, jealous old thing!" exclaimed Lizzie, who was looking over
my shoulder, "I wouldn't stir a step."
But I thought differently. My curiosity was roused to know the cause
of her strange freak; and then, too, six hundred dollars per year
would amply atone for any little peculiarities in my employer. So I
answered her letter forthwith, assuring her that neither my friends
nor myself had ever been guilty of calling me pretty--in short, I was
decidedly homely, and trusted that on that point at least I should
please her.
"What a fib, Rosa," said Charlie, when I told him what I had written.
"You know you are not homely. You used to be, I'll admit; but you
are far from being so now. To be sure, you are not what many would
call handsome, but you are decidedly good-looking. You've got
handsome eyes, splendid hair (and he pulled one of my short, thick
curls by way of adding emphasis to his words) and your complexion is
not one-half so sallow and muddy as it used to be. Depend upon it,
this 'Mrs. Angeline Delafield Lansing, of Cedar Grove' will think you
have deceived her."
"Nonsense!" I replied, seating myself at the piano, which was now my
constant companion, Mrs. Lansing having written that she was very
particular about music.
Now, to tell the truth, I was not very much of a performer, but
looking upon the South very much as I did upon the far West, I
fancied that a small amount of showy accomplishments would pass for
the real coin. Still I determined to play as well as possible, and
so week after week I practised, until, when I had nearly given up all
hopes of ever hearing from the lady again, I one day received a
letter bearing the W---- postmark, and containing a check on a Boston
bank for money sufficient to defray my expenses. There were also a
few hastily written lines, saying that "Mrs. Lansing considered our
engagement as settled, but she should not expect me until the latter
part of April, as she could not immediately get rid of her present
governess, a _painted, insipid_ creature from _New York_, and the
veriest humbug in the world."
"A sweet time you'll have of it with madam," said Charlie, "and once
for all I advise you to give up going. Why, only think, April there
is hotter than pepper, and of course you'll take the fever and die."
But I was not to be persuaded. The "sunny South" had for me a
peculiar fascination; and then, too, there was another reason which,
more than all others, prompted me to go. Georgia was the home of the
_dark man_, as I called him, and though there was hardly a
probability of my ever meeting him there, such a thing was still
possible, and like Longfellow's Evangeline, who, on the broad
Mississippi felt that each dip of the oar carried her nearer to her
lost Gabriel, so each day I felt a stronger and stronger conviction
that somewhere in the southern land I should find him.
In the meantime, Anna had been with us for a few weeks, but greatly
changed from the Anna of former times. Listlessly she moved from
room to room--never smiling, never weeping, and seldom speaking
unless she were first addressed. To her, everything was dark, deep
night, and such a gloom did her presence cast over us all, that
though we would gladly have kept her with us, we still felt relieved
when she left us for a home in Boston, where little Jamie soon became
the idol of his grandmother, whose subdued cheerfulness had ere long
a visible effect upon Anna. Cousin Will, too, had visited us, and
after spending a short time had sailed with brother John for
California, promising himself a joyous future, when he should return
with money sufficient to purchase the old homestead, which he said
should be mother's as long as she lived.
It was a cold, dark, snowy morning in the latter part of April, when
I at last started on my journey. The surface of the ground was
frozen hard, the trees were leafless and bare, while but few green
things gave token that spring was with us. It is not strange, then,
that I almost fancied myself in another world, when after a
prosperous sea voyage I one morning went on shore at Charleston, and
first breathed the soft, balmy air of the South. Dense and green was
the foliage of the trees, while thousands of roses and flowering
shrubs filled the air with a perfume almost sickening to the senses.
From Charleston to Augusta was a wearisome ride, for the cars were
crowded and dirty, and there was to me nothing remarkably pleasing in
the long stretches of cypress swamps and pine barrens though which we
passed.
It was late in the evening when we reached the town of C----, from
whence I was to proceed to W----, by stage. It was a most beautiful
night; and for hours I watched the soft moonlight as it glimmered
among the trees which lined either side of the narrow road, and whose
branches often swept against the windows of our lumbering vehicle.
It was long after sunrise when we arrived at W----, but so thickly
wooded is the country around, that I obtained not a single glimpse of
the town until I suddenly found myself "thar," as the driver said,
dismounting and opening the door of our prison-house. The hotel into
which I was ushered, would, perhaps, compare favorably with our
country taverns at the North; but at each step I took, I felt a more
and more painful consciousness that home, my home, was far away.
After shaking the dust from my traveling-dress, and slaking my thirst
from the big gourd shell (my special delight), which hung by the side
of a bucket of cool water which stood on a little stand in the
parlor, I inquired for some one who would take to Mrs. Lansing my
card, and thus apprise her of my arrival. The landlord immediately
summoned a bright, handsome mulatto boy, who, after receiving my
orders, and favoring me with a sight of his ivories, started off
bareheaded, and for that matter bare-bodied too, for Cedar Grove,
which the landlord pointed out to me in the distance, and which, with
its dense surrounding of trees, looked to me delightfully cool and
pleasant. After waiting rather impatiently for an hour or more, a
large, old-fashioned carriage, drawn by two rather poor-looking
horses, stopped before the door. It belonged to Mrs. Lansing; and
the footman, jumping down from the rack behind, handed me a note; in
which the lady begged me to come directly to her house, saying she
was herself indisposed, or she would have come down to meet me, and
also adding, that if I would excuse her she would rather not see me
until supper-time, when she hoped to feel better.
At the extremity of Main Street, we turned in at a ponderous gate,
and after passing through two or three fields or lawns, stopped at
last in front of Cedar Grove, which stood upon a slight eminence
overlooking the town. In perfect delight I gazed around me, for it
seemed the embodiment of my childish dreams, and involuntarily I
exclaimed, "This is indeed the sunny, sunny South." It was very
beautiful, that spacious yard and garden, with their winding walks on
which no ray of sunlight fell, so securely were they shaded, by the
cedar and the fir, the catalpa, the magnolia, and the fig tree, most
of them seen now by me for the first time in all their natural
beauty, reminded one so forcibly of Eden. The house itself was a
large, square building, surrounded on three sides by a piazza, which
I afterwards found was the family sitting-room; it being there that
they congregated both morning and evening. The building had once
been white, but the paint was nearly all worn off, and it now
presented a rather dilapidated appearance, with its broken shutters
and decayed pillars, round which vines and ivy were twining. The
floors within were bare, but scrupulously clean; while the rooms
lacked the costly furniture I had confidently expected to see.
Scarcely was I seated in the parlor, when I heard a sweet, childish
voice exclaim, "She's in _thar_--she is," while at the same time a
pair of soft, blue eyes looked through the crevice of the door, and
then were quickly withdrawn, their owner laughing aloud as if she had
accomplished some daring feat, and calling out, "I seen her, Hal--I
did. And she don't look cross neither. You dassn't peek in thar,
dast you?"
They were my future pupils, I was sure; and already my heart warmed
towards them, particularly her with the silvery voice, and I was just
thinking of going out to find them, when I heard a light footstep on
the stairs, and the next moment a tall, dark-eyed girl, apparently
fourteen or fifteen years of age, entered the room, introducing
herself as Miss Lina Lansing, and welcoming me so cordially that I
felt myself at once at home.
"Mother," said she, "is indisposed, as I believe she wrote you, and
has sent me to receive you, and ask what you would like."
I had scarcely slept a moment the night previous, so I replied, that
if convenient, I would go immediately to my room. Ringing the bell,
she summoned to the room a short, dumpy mulatto, whom she called
Cressy, and who, she said, was to be my attendant. Following her up
the stairs, I was ushered into a large, airy chamber, which, though
not furnished with elegance, still contained everything for my
comfort, even to a huge _feather-bed_, the sight of which made me
wipe the perspiration from my face.
"Shall I wash missus' feet first, or comb her har?" asked the
negress, pouring a pitcher of water into a small bathing tub.
This was entirely new to me, who had always been accustomed to wait
upon myself, so I declined her offers of assistance, telling her, "I
preferred being alone, and could do everything for myself which was
necessary."
"Laws, missus!" she answered, rolling the whites of her eyes, "'taint
no ways likely you can bresh and 'range all dat ar har," pointing to
my thick and now somewhat tangled curls. "Why, Miss Lina's
straighter dan a string, an' I'll be boun' she never yet tache a comb
to it herself."
With some difficulty I convinced the African that her services were
not needed, and staring at me as if I had been a kind of monstrosity,
she left the room, the door of which I bolted against any new
intruder. The windows of my chamber looked out upon the garden,
where now were blossoming roses and flowers of every possible hue and
form. A little to the right, and about a quarter of a mile away was
another building, larger and more imposing that than of Mrs. Lansing,
while a great deal of taste seemed to be displayed in the arrangement
of the grounds. As nearly as I could judge, it stood upon a little
hill, for the trees appeared to rise regularly one above the other,
the fir and the cedar forming the outer boundary; while, as I
afterwards learned, the inner rows consisted of the graceful
magnolia, the wide-spreading catalpa, the beautiful china tree, and
the persimmon, whose leaves in the autumn wear a most brilliant hue,
and present so fine a contrast to the dark green of the pine and the
fir. Very, very pleasant it looked to me, with its white walls just
discernible amid the dense foliage which surrounded it, and for a
long time I stood gazing towards it wondering whose home it was, and
if the inmates were as happy as it seemed they might be.
At last, faint with the fatigue of my journey and the odor of the
flowers, which, from the garden below, came in at the open window, I
threw myself upon the lounge (feather bed looking altogether too
formidable) and was soon fast asleep, dreaming of Meadow Brook, of
the white house on the hill, and of the _dark man_, who, I thought,
told me that it should one day be my home. When at last I awoke, the
sun was no longer shining in at my window for it was late in the
afternoon, and the fiercest heat of the day was past. Springing up,
I commenced dressing with some trepidation, for I expected to meet
the mistress of the house at supper-time. My toilet was nearly
completed when I heard in the hall the patter of childish feet, while
a round, bright eye was applied to the keyhole. It was the same
which had looked at me in the parlor, and anxious to see its owner, I
stepped out of the door just as a fairy creature with golden curls
started to run away. I was too quick for her, however, and catching
her in my arms, I pushed back the clustering ringlets from her brow,
and gazing into her sunny face, asked her name.
Raising her white, waxen hand, she did for me the office I had done
for her, viz. pushed back my curls, and looking in my face, answered,
"Ma says it's _Jessica_, but Lina, Hal, and Uncle Dick call me
_Jessie_, and I like that a heap the best. You are our new
governess, ain't you?"
She was singularly beautiful, and yet it was not so much the
regularity of her features, nor the clearness of her complexion which
made her so. It was the light which shone in her lustrous blue eyes,
which gave her the expression of an angel, for such she was--an angel
in her southern home, which, without her would have been dark and
cheerless. Her brother whom she called _Hal_, was three years older,
and not nearly so handsome. He was very dark, and it seemed to me
that I had seen a face like his before; but ere I could remember
where, a faint voice from the piazza, which faced the east and was
now quite cool, called out, "Halbert, Halbert, come here."
"That's ma," said Jessie, getting down from my arms. "That's
ma--come and see her," and following her, I soon stood in the
presence of Mrs. Lansing, who was reclining rather indolently in a
large willow chair, while at her back was a negress half asleep, but
appearing wide awake whenever her mistress moved.
She was a chubby, rosy-cheeked woman, apparently thirty-five years of
age. Her eyes were very black, and she had a habit of frequently
shutting them, so as to show off the long, fringed eyelashes. On the
whole, I thought, she was quite prepossessing in her appearance, an
opinion, however, which I changed ere long; for by the time I reached
her, there was a dark cloud on her brow, evidently of displeasure or
of disappointment. Still she was very polite, offering me her
jeweled hand, and saying, "Miss Lee, I suppose. You are welcome to
Georgia;" then, after an instant, she added, "You don't look at all
like I thought you would."
I was _uglier_ than she expected, I presumed, and the tears started
to my eyes as I replied, "I wrote to you that I was very plain, but
after a little I shall look better; I am tired now with traveling."
A strange, peculiar smile flitted over her face, while she intently
regarded me as if to assure herself of my sanity. I was puzzled, and
in my perplexity I said something about returning home, if my looks
were so disagreeable. "They were used to me there, and didn't mind
it," I said; at the same time leaning my head against the
vine-wreathed pillars, I sobbed aloud. Lithe as a kitten, little
Jessie sprang up behind me, and winding her arms around my neck,
asked why I cried.
"Did ma make you cry?" she said. "Uncle Dick says she makes all the
governesses cry."
"Jessica, Jessica, get down this moment," said the lady. "I did not
intend to hurt Miss Lee's feelings, and do not understand how I could
have done so. She is either acting a part, or else she strangely
misunderstands me."
I never acted a part in my life, and, somewhat indignant, I wiped
away my tears and asked "what she meant."
There was the same smile on her face which I had noticed before, as
she said, "Do you really think yourself ugly?"
Of course I did. I had never thought otherwise, for hadn't I been
told so ever since I was a child no larger than Jessie, and the
impression thus early received had never been eradicated. Thus I
answered her, and she believed me, for she replied, "You are
mistaken, Miss Lee, for however plain you might have been in
childhood, you are not so now. Neither do I understand how with
those eyes, that hair and brow, you can think yourself ugly. I do
not believe you meant to deceive me, but, to tell the truth, I am
disappointed; but that cannot now be helped, and we'll make the best
of it."
Perfectly astonished, I listened to her remarks, giving her the
credit of meaning what she said, and for the first time in my life, I
felt as I suppose folks must feel who think they are handsome! After
this little storm was over, she evidently exerted herself to be
agreeable for a few moments, and then rather abruptly asked me how
old I was.
"Not quite eighteen!" she repeated in some surprise. "Why I supposed
you were _twenty-five_ at least! Don't you think she looks older
than _Ada_?" turning to Lina, who answered quickly, "Oh, no, mother,
nothing like as old. Why, I shouldn't think her over seventeen at
the most."
Now among my other misfortunes I numbered that of "looking old as the
hills," so I didn't care particularly for what they said, though it
struck me as rather singular that Mrs. Lansing should thus discuss me
in my presence; but this thought was lost in the more absorbing one
as to _who_ the _Ada_ could be of whom she had spoken. Possibly it
was Ada Montrose, though I ardently hoped to the contrary, for well I
knew there was no happiness for me where she was. Thinking it would
be on a par with the questions put to me, I was on the point of
asking who _Ada_ was, when we were summoned to supper, which
consisted mostly of broiled chickens, strong coffee, iced milk, egg
bread, and hoecakes, if I except the row of sables who grouped
themselves around the table, and the _feather girl_, whose efforts to
keep awake amused me so much that I almost forgot to eat. We were
nearly through when a handsome mulatto boy entered and handed a
letter to his mistress, which she immediately opened, holding it so
that the address could be read by Halbert, who, after spelling it
out, exclaimed, "That's from Uncle Dick, I know!"
"Is he coming home?" asked Jessie, dropping her knife and fork, while
even Lina, who seldom evinced much interest in anything, roused up
and repeated the question which Jessie had asked.
"Yes. He is in New York now," said Mrs. Lansing; "and will be here
in a week."
"Good!" exclaimed Halbert.
"Oh, I'm right glad," said Jessie, while Lina asked if _Ada_ was with
him.
"No," returned Mrs. Lansing. "She is still in Paris with her cousin,
and will not return until autumn."
"I'm glad of that," said Lina, to which Hal rejoined, "And so am I.
She's so proud and stuck up, I can't bear her."
"Children, children," spoke Mrs. Lansing, rather sternly, at the same
time rising from the table.
It was not yet sunset; and as soon as we were again assembled upon
the piazza, Halbert and Jessie, who were never still, asked
permission to "run up to Uncle Dick's, and tell the servants he was
coming home."
Mrs. Lansing made no objection; and then they proposed that I should
accompany them. Feeling that a walk would do me good, I turned
towards Mrs. Lansing, for her consent. It was given, of course; but
had I known her better I should have detected a shade of displeasure
on her face.
"You had better go too," said she to Lina; but Lina was too listless
and indolent, and so we went without her, little Jessie holding my
hand, and jumping instead of walking.
"Eva's mighty lazy," said she, at last; "don't you think so!"
"Who's lazy?" I asked; and she replied--
"Thar, I done forgot again, and called her Eva. Her name is
Evangeline, and we used to call her Eva, until mother read a bad book
that had little Eva in it, and then she called her Lina."
"'Twan't a bad book, neither," exclaimed Halbert, stopping suddenly;
"Uncle Dick said 'twan't; but it made mother mad, I tell you, and now
when she gets rarin' he calls her _Mrs. St. Clare_."
I needed no one to tell me that it was "Uncle Tom," to which he
referred, but I said nothing except to chide the children for their
negro language.
"I know we talk awful," said Jessie, brushing her curls from her
eyes. "Uncle Dick says we do, but I mean to learn better. I don't
talk half like I used to."
I could not help smiling in spite of myself upon the little creature
bounding and frisking at my side. _Uncle Dick_ seemed to be her
oracle, and after looking around to make sure that no one heard me, I
asked "who he was?"
"Why, he's Uncle Dick," said she; "the bestest uncle in the world;"
while Halbert added, "He's got a heap of money, too; and once, when
ma thought I was asleep, I heard her tell Lina, that if he didn't get
married it would be divided between us, and I should have the most,
'cause I'm named after him, Richard Halbert Delafield Lansing, and
they call me _Hal_, for short. I told Uncle Dick what mother said,
and I tell you, he looked blacker'n a nigger; and somehow, after that
he took to ridin' and foolin' with Ada, wonderfully."
As yet everything with me was comparatively conjecture. I did not
know positively that the _Uncle Dick_ of the children was the "_dark
man_" of Rosa Lee; but the answer to my next question would decide
it, and half tremblingly was it put. "Who is this Ada? What is her
other name?"
"_Ada Montrose_, and she lives with us. Uncle Dick is her guardian,"
said Halbert, throwing a bit of dirt at the negro boy who accompanied
us, and who returned the young gentleman's salute with interest.
I was satisfied, and did not wish to hear any more. I should meet
him again, and tinged as my temperament is with a love of the
marvellous, I could not help believing that Providence had led me
there. By this time we had reached "Sunny Bank," as it was very
appropriately called, and never before had I seen so lovely a spot.
The grounds, which were very spacious, were surrounded on all sides
by a hedge of the beautiful Cherokee rose, and, unlike those of Cedar
Grove, were laid out with perfect taste and order. Mr. Delafield, as
I afterwards learned, had spent much time at the North, and in the
arrangement of his house and grounds, he had not only imitated, but
far surpassed the style of the country seats which are so often found
within a few miles of our eastern cities, For this he was in a
measure indebted to Dame Nature, who at the South scatters her favors
with a lavish hand, sometimes beautifying and adorning objects far
better than the utmost skill of man could do. The gate at the
entrance of Sunny Bank was a huge wooden structure, having for its
_posts_ two immense oak trees, around whose trunks the graceful ivy
twined, and then hung in fanciful festoons from several of the lower
branches.
As I had supposed, the house itself stood upon a slight elevation,
and the walk which led up to it was bordered on either side by the
mock orange, whose boughs, meeting overhead, formed an effectual
screen from the rays of the sun. The building, though fashioned in
the same style as that of Mrs. Lansing, was much larger, and had
about it a far more stylish air. Much of the furniture had been
brought from New York, Halbert said; adding that "all the floors were
covered with matting in the summer, and elegant Turkey carpets in the
winter."
In the rear of the house were the cabins of the negroes, who were
lounging idly about, some on the ground, some in the doors, and some
stretched at full length upon the back of the piazza, evidently
enjoying the cool evening breeze. At sight of us, they roused up a
little, and when Halbert, after announcing that I was Miss Lee, the
new governess, further informed them that their master was coming
home in a few days, they instantly gathered round us, evincing so
much joy as to astonish me, who had heretofore looked upon a southern
slaveholder as a tyrant greatly dreaded by his vassals.
"You must like Mr. Delafield very much," I ventured to remark to one
old lady, whose hair was white as wool.
"_Like_ Mass'r Richard!" said she, rolling up her eyes. "Lor' bless
you, miss, _like_ don't begin to 'spress it. Why, I farly worships
him; for didn't I tend him when he was a nussin' baby? and hain't
these old arms toted him more'n a million of miles?"
Here her voice was drowned by the others, all of whom united in
declaring him the "berry best mass'r in Georgy." This did not, of
course, tend in any way to diminish the interest which I felt in the
stranger; and, ere I was aware of it, I found myself anticipating his
return almost as anxiously as the negroes themselves.
It was dark when we reached Cedar Grove; and as there was company in
the parlor, I went immediately to my room. I had not been there
long, however, when a servant was sent up, saying, that "Mrs. Lansing
wished me to come down and play."
This was an ordeal which I greatly dreaded; for, from what I had seen
of Mrs. Lansing, I knew she would criticise my performance closely;
and fearing inability to acquit myself at all creditably, I trembled
violently as I descended to the parlor, which was nearly full of
visitors.
"Miss Lee, ladies," said Mrs. Lansing, at the same time motioning
towards the music-stool as the seat I was expected to occupy.
There was a film before my eyes as I took my post and nervously
turned over the leaves of a music-book; which, by the way, was wrong
side up, though I didn't know it then! I have heard much of _stage
fright_, and sure am I, that never did poor mortal suffer more from
an attack of that nature than did I during the few moments that I sat
there, trying to recall something familiar, something which I knew I
could play. At last, when the patience of the company seemed nearly
exhausted, I dashed off at random, playing _parts_ of two or three
different tunes, changing the key as many times, using the loud pedal
when I should have used the soft, and at last ending with the most
horrid discord to which my ears ever listened. The audience were,
undoubtedly, thunderstruck, for they spoke not for the space of a
minute; and, with a feeling of desperation, I was about to make a
second effort, hoping thereby to retrieve my character, when Mrs.
Lansing said, in a cold, sarcastic voice, "That will do, Miss Lee; we
are perfectly satisfied." Then, turning to a haughty-looking young
lady who sat by the window, she continued: "Come, Miss Porter; you
certainly can't refuse to favor us, _now_."
With a very consequential air, for which I could not blame her, Miss
Porter took my place, and, without any apparent effort, killed my
poor performance outright; for she executed admirably some of the
most difficult music. When she had finished, the ladies rose to go,
Mrs. Lansing following them to the door, and whispering (I know she
did) something about "her being humbugged again."
When she returned to the room, I stole a glance at her face, which
was very red, and indicative of anything but good-will towards me. I
felt the hot tears rising, but when, with a bang, she closed the
piano, and turning towards me, demanded "how long I had taken music
lessons," I forced them back, and answered promptly, "five quarters."
"Only five quarters!" she repeated, in evident amazement. "Why, Lina
has taken _three years_, and she wouldn't consider herself competent
to _teach_, even were she _poor_, and obliged to do so."
The latter part of this speech I did not fancy; for even if a person
is poor, and obliged to work, they do not often like to be taunted
with it; at least, _I_ didn't, but I couldn't help myself. I was at
the mercy of Mrs. Lansing, who proceeded to say, that "she had often
been deceived by Northern teachers, who thought to palm themselves
off for better scholars than they really were; and now she had almost
come to the conclusion that they were not so well educated as the
majority of Southern girls."
"_I_, at least, never intended to deceive you," said I; "I told you
in my letter that I was _not_ an accomplished musician, and still you
consented to employ me."
Here I broke down entirely, and wept passionately, telling her, in
broken sentences, that "however mortifying it would be, I was willing
to go back, if she wished it."
At this point, little Jessie, who all the time had been present, came
to my side, and winding her arms around my neck, said, "You sha'n't
go home. We like you, Hal and me, and you sha'n't go--shall she,
Hal?"
Thus appealed to, Hal took up my cause, which he warmly defended;
telling his mother "she made every governess cry, and told them they
didn't know anything, when they _did_, for Uncle Dick said so, and
_he_ knew; and that, as for music, Miss Lee played a _heap_ better
than Lina, because she played something _new_--something he never
heard before."
"Nor any one else," muttered Mrs. Lansing, while Hal continued,
"Uncle Dick says, the best teachers sometimes don't play at all, and
Miss Lee sha'n't go home."
Very faintly, I repeated my willingness to do so, if Mrs. Lansing
thought best; to which she replied, "I will deal fairly with you,
Miss Lee. I am disappointed in your musical abilities, and if I find
that you are deficient in other things, I shall be obliged to dismiss
you; but for a few days I will keep you on trial."
"Uncle Dick won't let you send her away, I know," said Hal; and this,
I am inclined to think, determined her upon getting rid of me before
his return.
Still, I was ostensibly _upon trial_, and whoever has been in a
similar situation, will readily understand that I could not, of
course, do myself justice. With Mrs. Lansing's prying eyes
continually upon me, I really acted as though I were half-witted; and
by the close of the second day, I myself began to doubt the soundness
of my mind, wondering why the folks at home had never discovered my
stupidity. Continual excitement kept my cheeks in a constant glow,
while the remainder of my face was quite pale, and several times, in
their mother's presence, the children told me "how handsome I was!"
This annoyed her--and on the morning of the third day, she informed
me that she would defray my expenses back to Massachusetts, where I
could tell them I was _too young_ to suit her; adding, that I might
as well go the next morning. This was a death-blow to my hopes; and
so violent was the shock, that I could not even weep. Hal and Jessie
were furious, declaring I should not go; and when I convinced them
that I must, they insisted upon my teaching that day, at all events.
To this I consented; and as Mrs. Lansing had now no object in
watching me, she absented herself from the schoolroom entirely,
leaving me to do as I pleased. The consequence was, that my benumbed
faculties awoke again to life, everything which, for the last ten
days, I seemed to have forgotten, came back to me; while even the
children noticed how differently I appeared.