HOW CAROL SPOILED THE WEDDING
A day in June,--the kind of day that poets have rhymed and lovers have
craved since time began. On the side porch of the parsonage, in a wide
hammock, lay Aunt Grace, looking languidly through half-closed lids at
the girls beneath her on the step. Prudence, although her face was all
a-dream, bent conscientiously over the bit of linen in her hands. And
Fairy, her piquantly bright features clouded with an unwonted frown,
crumpled a letter in her hand.
"I do think men are the most aggravating things that ever lived," she
declared, with annoyance in her voice.
The woman in the hammock smiled slightly, and did not speak. Prudence
carefully counted ten threads, and solemnly drew one before she voiced
her question.
"What is he saying now?"
"Why, he's still objecting to my having dates with the other boys."
Fairy's voice was vibrant with grief. "He does make me wild! Aunt Grace,
you can't imagine. Last fall I mentioned casually that I was sure he
wouldn't object to my having lecture course dates--I was too hard up to
buy a ticket for myself; they cost four dollars, and aren't worth it,
either. And what did he do but send me eight dollars to buy two sets of
tickets! Then this spring, when the baseball season opened, he sent me
season tickets to all the games suggesting that my financial stringency
could not be pleaded as an excuse. Ever since he went to Chicago last
fall we've been fighting because the boys bring me home from parties. I
suppose he had to go and learn to be a pharmacist, but--it's hard on me.
He wants me to patter along by myself like a--like--like a hen!" Fairy
said "hen" very crossly!
"It's a shame," said Prudence sympathetically. "That's just what it is.
You wouldn't say a word to his taking girls home from things, would
you?"
"Hum,--that's a different matter," said Fairy more thoughtfully. "He
hasn't wanted to yet. You see, he's a man and can go by himself without
having it look as though nobody wanted to be seen with him. And he's a
stranger over there, and doesn't need to get chummy with the girls. The
boys here all know me, and ask me to go, and--a man, you see, can just
be passive and nothing happens. But a girl's got to be downright
negative, and it's no joke. One misses so many good times. You see the
cases are different, Prue."
"Yes, that's so," Prudence assented absent-mindedly, counting off ten
more threads.
"Then you would object if he had dates?" queried Aunt Grace smilingly.
"Oh, no, not at all,--if there was any occasion for it--but there isn't.
And I think I would be justified in objecting if he deliberately made
occasions for himself, don't you?"
"Yes, that would be different," Prudence chimed in, such "miles away" in
her voice, that Fairy turned on her indignantly.
"Prudence Starr, you make me wild," she said. "Can't you drop that
everlasting hemstitching, embroidering, tatting, crocheting, for ten
minutes to talk to me? What in the world are you going to do with it
all, anyhow? Are you intending to carpet your floors with it?"
"This is a napkin," Prudence explained good-naturedly. "The set cost me
fifteen dollars." She sighed.
"Did the veil come?" The clouds vanished magically from Fairy's face,
and she leaned forward with that joy of wedding anticipation that rules
in woman-world.
"Yes, it's beautiful. Come and see it. Wait until I pull four more
threads. It's gorgeous."
"I still think you're making a great mistake," declared Fairy earnestly.
"I don't believe in big showy church weddings. You'd better change it
yet. A little home affair with just the family,--that's the way to do
it. All this satin-gown, orange-blossom elaboration with curious eyes
staring up and down--ugh! It's all wrong."
Prudence dropped the precious fifteen-dollar-a-set napkin in her lap and
gazed at Fairy anxiously. "I know you think so, Fairy," she said.
"You've told me so several times." Fairy's eyes twinkled, but Prudence
had no intention of sarcasm. "But I can't help it, can I? We had quite
settled on the home wedding, but when the twins discovered that the
members felt hurt at being left out, father thought we'd better change
over."
"Well, I can't see that the members have any right to run our wedding.
Besides, it wouldn't surprise me if the twins made it up because they
wanted a big fuss."
"But some of the members spoke to father."
"Oh, just common members that don't count for much--and it was mighty
poor manners of 'em, too, if you'll excuse me for saying so."
"And you must admit, Fairy, that it is lovely of the Ladies' Aid to give
that dinner at the hotel for us."
"Well, they'll get their money's worth of talk out of it afterward. It's
a big mistake.--What on earth are the twins doing out there? Is that Jim
Forrest with them? Listen how they are screaming with laughter! Would
you ever believe those twins are past fifteen, and nearly through their
junior year? They haven't as much sense put together as Connie has all
alone."
"Come and see the veil," said Prudence, rising. But she dropped back on
the step again as Carol came rushing toward them at full speed, with
Lark and a tall young fellow trailing slowly, laughing, behind her.
"The mean things!" she gasped. "They cheated!" She dropped a handful of
pennies in her aunt's lap as she lay in the hammock. "We'll take 'em to
Sunday-school and give 'em to the heathen, that's what we'll do. They
cheated!"
"Yes, infant, who cheated, and how, and why? And whence the startling
array of pennies? And why this unwonted affection for the heathen?"
mocked Fairy.
"Trying to be a blank verse, Fairy? Keep it up, you haven't far to
go!--There they are! Look at them, Aunt Grace. They cheated. They tried
to get all my hard-earned pennies by nefarious methods, and--"
"And so Carol stole them all, and ran! Sit down, Jim. My, it's hot. Give
me back my pennies, Carol."
"The heathen! The heathen!" insisted Carol. "Not a penny do you get. You
see, Aunt Grace, we were matching pennies,--you'd better not mention it
to father. We've turned over a new leaf now, and quit for good. But we
were matching--and they made a bargain that whenever it was my turn, one
of them would throw heads and one tails, and that way I never could win
anything. And I didn't catch on until I saw Jim wink, and so of course I
thought it was only right to give the pennies to the heathen."
"Mercy, Prudence," interrupted Lark. "Are you doing another napkin? This
is the sixteenth dozen, isn't it? You'd better donate some of them to
the parsonage, I think. I was so ashamed when Miss Marsden came to
dinner. She opened her napkin out wide, and her finger went right
through a hole. I was mortified to death--and Carol laughed. It seems to
me with three grown women in the house we could have holeless napkins,
one for company, anyhow."
"How is your mother, Jim?"
"Just fine, Miss Prudence, thank you. She said to tell you she would
send a basket of red Junes to-morrow, if you want them. The twins can
eat them, I know. Carol ate twenty-two when they were out Saturday."
"Yes, I did, and I'm glad of it," said Carol stoutly. "Such apples you
never saw, Prudence. They're about as big as a thimble, and two-thirds
core. They're good, they're fine, I'll say that,--but there's nothing to
them. I could have eaten as many again if Jim hadn't been counting out
loud, and I got kind of ashamed because every one was laughing. If I had
a ranch as big as yours, Jim, I'll bet you a dollar I'd have apples
bigger than a dime!"
"'Bet you a dollar,'" quoted Fairy.
"Well, I'll wager my soul, if that sounds more like Shakespeare. Don't
go, Jim, we're not fighting. This is just the way Fairy and I make love
to each other. You're perfectly welcome to stay, but be careful of your
grammar, for now that Fairy's a senior--will be next year, if she
lives--she even tries to teach father the approved method of doing a
ministerial sneeze in the pulpit."
"Think I'd better go," decided the tall good-looking youth, laughing as
he looked with frank boyish admiration into Carol's sparkling face.
"With Fairy after my grammar, and you to criticize my manner and my
morals, I see right now that a parsonage is no safe place for a
farmer's son." And laughing again, he thrust his cap into his pocket,
and walked quickly out the new cement parsonage walk. But at the gate he
paused to call back, "Don't make a mistake, Carol, and use the heathen's
pennies for candy."
The girls on the porch laughed, and five pairs of eyes gazed after the
tall figure rapidly disappearing.
"He's nice," said Prudence.
"Yes," assented Carol. "I've got a notion to marry him after a little.
That farm of his is worth about ten thousand."
"Are you going to wait until he asks you?"
"Certainly not! Anybody can marry a man after he asks her. The thing to
do, if you want to be really original and interesting, is to marry him
before he asks you and surprise him."
"Yes," agreed Lark, "if you wait until he asks you he's likely to think
it over once too often and not ask you at all."
"Doesn't that sound exactly like a book, now?" demanded Carol proudly.
"Fairy couldn't have said that!"
"No," said Fairy, "I couldn't. Thank goodness!--I have what is commonly
known as brains. Look it up in the dictionary, twins. It's something you
ought to know about."
"Oh, Prudence," cried Lark dramatically, "I forgot to tell you. You
can't get married after all."
For ten seconds Prudence, as well as Fairy and their aunt, stared in
speechless amazement. Then Prudence smiled.
"Oh, can't I? What's the joke now?"
"Joke! It's no joke. Carol's sick, that's what's the joke. You can't be
married without Carol, can you?"
A burst of gay laughter greeted this announcement.
"Carol sick! She acts sick!"
"She looks sick!"
"Where is she sick?"
Carol leaned limply back against the pillar, trying to compose her
bright face into a semblance of illness. "In my tummy," she announced
weakly.
This called forth more laughter. "It's her conscience," said Fairy.
"It's matching pennies. Maybe she swallowed one."
"It's probably those two pieces of pie she ate for dinner, and the one
that vanished from the pantry shortly after," suggested Aunt Grace.
Carol sat up quickly. "Welcome home, Aunt Grace!" she cried. "Did you
have a pleasant visit?"
"Carol," reproved Prudence.
"I didn't mean it for impudence, auntie," said Carol, getting up and
bending affectionately over the hammock, gently caressing the brown hair
just beginning to silver about her forehead. "But it does amuse me so to
hear a lady of your age and dignity indulge in such lavish
conversational exercises."
Lark swallowed with a forced effort. "Did it hurt, Carol? How did you
get it all out in one breath?"
"Lark, I do wish you wouldn't gulp that way when folks use big words,"
said Fairy. "It looks--awful."
"Well, I won't when I get to be as old and crabbed as--father," said
Lark. "Sit down, Carol, and remember you're sick."
Carol obediently sat down, and looked sicker than ever.
"You can laugh if you like," she said, "I am sick, at least, I was this
afternoon. I've been feeling very queer for three or four days. I don't
think I'm quite over it yet."
"Pie! You were right, Aunt Grace! That's the way pie works."
"It's not pie at all," declared Carol heatedly. "And I didn't take that
piece out of the pantry, at least, not exactly. I caught Connie sneaking
it, and I gave her a good calling down, and she hung her head and slunk
away in disgrace. But she had taken such big bites that it looked sort
of unsanitary, so I thought I'd better finish it before it gathered any
germs. But it's not pie. Now that I think of it, it was my head where I
was sick. Don't you remember, Lark, I said my head ached?"
"Yes, and her eyes got red and bleary when she was reading. And--and
there was something else, too, Carol, what--"
"Your eyes are bloodshot, Carol. They do look bad." Prudence examined
them closely. "Now, Carol Starr, don't you touch another book or
magazine until after the wedding. If you think I want a bloodshot
bridesmaid, you're mistaken."
They all turned to look across the yard at Connie, just turning in.
Connie always walked, as Carol said, "as if she mostly wasn't there."
But she usually "arrived" by the time she got within speaking distance
of her sister.
"Goodness, Prue, aren't you going to do anything but eat after you move
to Des Moines? Carol and I were counting the napkins last night,--was it
a hundred and seventy-six, Carol, or--some awful number I know. Carol
piled them up in two piles and we kneeled on them to say our prayers,
and--I can't say for sure, but I think Carol pushed me. Anyhow, I lost
my balance, and usually I'm pretty well balanced. I toppled over right
after 'God save,' and Carol screamed 'the napkins'--Prue's wedding
napkins! It was an awful funny effect; I couldn't finish my prayers."
"Carol Starr! Fifteen years old and--"
"That's a very much exaggerated story, Prue. Connie blamed it on me as
usual. She piled them up herself to see if there were two feet of
them,--she put her stockings on the floor first so the dust wouldn't
rub off. It was Lark's turn to sweep and you know how Lark sweeps, and
Connie was very careful, indeed, and--"
"Come on, Fairy, and see the veil!"
"The veil! Did it come?"
With a joyous undignified whoop the parsonage girls scrambled to their
feet and rushed indoors in a fine Kilkenny jumble. Aunt Grace looked
after them, thoughtfully, smiling for a second, and then with a girlish
shrug of her slender shoulders she slipped out and followed them inside.
The last thing that night, before she said her prayers, Prudence carried
a big bottle of witch hazel into the twins' room. Both were sleeping,
but she roused Carol, and Lark turned over to listen.
"You must bathe your eyes with this, Carol. I forgot to tell you. What
would Jerry say if he had a bleary-eyed bridesmaid!"
And although the twins grumbled and mumbled about the idiotic nonsense
of getting-married folks, Carol obediently bathed the bloodshot eyes.
For in their heart of hearts, every one of the parsonage girls held
this wedding to be the affair of prime importance, national and
international, as well as just plain Methodist.
The twins were undeniably lazy, and slept as late of mornings as the
parsonage law allowed. So it was that when Lark skipped into the
dining-room, three minutes late for breakfast, she found the whole
family, with the exception of Carol, well in the midst of their meal.
"She was sick," she began quickly, then interrupting herself,--"Oh, good
morning! Beg pardon for forgetting my manners. But Carol was sick,
Prudence, and I hope you and Fairy are ashamed of yourselves--and
auntie, too--for making fun of her. She couldn't sleep all night, and
rolled and tossed, and her head hurt and she talked in her sleep, and--"
"I thought she didn't sleep."
"Well, she didn't sleep much, but when she did she mumbled and said
things and--"
Then the dining-room door opened again, and Carol--her hair about her
shoulders, her feet bare, enveloped in a soft and clinging kimono of
faded blue--stalked majestically into the room. There was woe in her
eyes, and her voice was tragic.
"It is gone," she said. "It is gone!"
Her appearance was uncanny to say the least, and the family gazed at her
with some concern, despite the fact that Carol's vagaries were so common
as usually to elicit small respect.
"Gone!" she cried, striking her palms together. "Gone!"
"If you do anything to spoil that wedding, papa'll whip you, if you are
fifteen years old," said Fairy.
Lark sprang to her sister's side. "What's gone, Carrie?" she pleaded
with sympathy, almost with tears. "What's gone? Are you out of your
head?"
"No! Out of my complexion," was the dramatic answer.
Even Lark fell back, for the moment, stunned. "Y-your complexion," she
faltered.
"Look! Look at me, Lark. Don't you see? My complexion is gone--my
beautiful complexion that I loved. Look at me! Oh, I would gladly have
sacrificed a leg, or an arm, a--rib or an eye, but not my dear
complexion!"
Sure enough, now that they looked carefully, they could indeed perceive
that the usual soft creaminess of Carol's skin was prickled and sparred
with ugly red splotches. Her eyes were watery, shot with blood. For a
time they gazed in silence, then they burst into laughter.
"Pie!" cried Fairy. "It's raspberry pie, coming out, Carol!"
The corners of Carol's lips twitched slightly, and it was with
difficulty that she maintained her wounded regal bearing. But Lark,
always quick to resent an indignity to this twin of her heart, turned
upon them angrily.
"Fairy Starr! You are a wicked unfeeling thing! You sit there and laugh
and talk about pie when Carol is sick and suffering--her lovely
complexion all ruined, and it was the joy of my life, that complexion
was. Papa,--why don't you do something?"
But he only laughed harder than ever. "If there's anything more
preposterous than Carol's vanity because of her beauty, it's Lark's
vanity for her," he said.
Aunt Grace drew Carol to her side, and examined the ruined complexion
closely. Then she smiled, but there was regret in her eyes.
"Well, Carol, you've spoiled your part of the wedding sure enough.
You've got the measles."
Then came the silence of utter horror.
"Not the measles," begged Carol, wounded afresh. "Give me diphtheria, or
smallpox, or--or even leprosy, and I'll bear it bravely and with a
smile, but it shall not be said that Carol's measles spoiled the
wedding."
"Oh, Carol," wailed Prudence, "don't have the measles,--please don't.
I've waited all my life for this wedding,--don't spoil it."
"Well, it's your own fault, Prue," interrupted Lark. "If you hadn't kept
us all cooped up when we were little we'd have had measles long ago.
Now, like as not the whole family'll have 'em, and serve you right. No
self-respecting family has any business to grow up without having the
measles."
"What shall we do now?" queried Constance practically.
"Well, I always said it was a mistake," said Fairy. "A big wedding--"
"Oh, Fairy, please don't tell me that again. I know it so well. Papa,
whatever shall we do? Maybe Jerry hasn't had them either."
"Why, it's easily arranged," said Lark. "We'll just postpone the wedding
until Carol's quite well again."
"Bad luck," said Connie.
"Too much work," said Fairy.
"Well, she can't get married without Carol, can she?" ejaculated Lark.
"Are you sure it's measles, Aunt Grace?"
"Yes, it's measles."
"Then," said Fairy, "we'll get Alice Bird or Katie Free to bridesmaid
with Lark. They are the same size and either will do all right. She can
wear Carol's dress. You won't mind that, will you, Carol?"
"No," said Carol moodily, "of course I won't. The only real embroidery
dress I ever had in my life--and haven't got that yet! But go ahead and
get anybody you like. I'm hoodooed, that's what it is. It's a punishment
because you and Jim cheated yesterday, Lark."
"What did you do?" asked Connie. "You seem to be getting the
punishment!"
"Shall we have Alice or Katie? Which do you prefer, Lark?"
"You'll have to get them both," was the stoic answer. "I won't
bridesmaid without Carol."
"Don't be silly, Lark. You'll have to."
"Then wait for Carol."
"Papa, you must make her."
"No," said Prudence slowly, with a white face. "We'll postpone it. I
won't get married without the whole family."
"I said right from the start--"
"Oh, yes, Fairy, we know what you said," interjected Carol. "We know how
you'll get married. First man that gets moonshine enough into his head
to propose to you, you'll trot him post haste to the justice before he
thinks twice."
In the end, the wedding was postponed a couple of months,--for both
Connie and Fairy took the measles. But when at last, the wedding party,
marshalled by Connie with a huge white basket of flowers, trailed down
the time-honored aisle of the Methodist church, it was without one
dissenting voice pronounced the crowning achievement of Mr. Starr's
whole pastorate.
"I was proud of us, Lark," Carol told her twin, after it was over, and
Prudence had gone, and the girls had wept themselves weak on each
other's shoulders. "We get so in the habit of doing things wrong that I
half expected myself to pipe up ahead of father with the ceremony. It
seems--awful--without Prudence,--but it's a satisfaction to know that
she was the best married bride Mount Mark has ever seen."
"Jerry looked awfully handsome, didn't he? Did you notice how he glowed
at Prudence? I wish you were artistic, Carol, so you could illustrate my
books. Jerry'd make a fine illustration."
"We looked nice, too. We're not a bad-looking bunch when you come right
down to facts. Of course, it is fine to be as smart as you are, Larkie,
but I'm not jealous. We're mighty lucky to have both beauty and brains
in our twin-ship,--and since one can't have both, I may say I'd just as
lief be pretty. It's so much easier."
"Carol!"
"What?"
"We're nearly grown up now. We'll have to begin to settle down. Prudence
says so."
For a few seconds Carol wavered, tremulous. Then she said pluckily, "All
right. Just wait till I powder my nose, will you? It gets so shiny when
I cry."
"Carol!"
"What?"
"Isn't the house still?"
"Yes--ghastly."
"I never thought Prudence was much of a chatter-box, but--listen! There
isn't a sound."
Carol held out a hand, and Lark clutched it desperately.
"Let's--let's go find the folks. This is--awful! Little old Prudence is
gone!"