"Possibly," I answered lazily, as though the matter were too much a
foregone conclusion to discuss. "Should you mind?"
A faint movement showed in her throat as if she had stopped herself
swallowing. She looked down. I know she finds it very difficult to lie,
and could not possibly do so if we were gazing at each other.
"Why should I mind?"
"No of course, why should you?"
She looked up then, but not at me. Her eyes flashed and her lip curled
in contempt.
"Two seems vulgar though," she snapped.
"I agree with you, the idea wounds my aesthetic senses."
"Then we need not expect another--in the flat just yet?"
At last it was out!
I appeared not to understand, and smoked on calmly, and before I could
answer the telephone rang. She handed me the instrument, and I said
"Hello." It was Coralie! She spoke very distinctly, and Alathea, who was
near, must have been able to hear most of the words in the silence.
"Nicholas, I am going to be by myself this evening, you will have a
dinner for me? Just us alone, _hein?_"
I permitted my face to express pleasure and amusement. _My wife_ watched
me agitatedly.
"_Non, chère Amie_--Alas! To-night I am engaged. But I shall see you
soon."
"_Est il vrai--ce mensonge-la?_"
Coralie said this loud!
I put up my hand so as to be able to continue observing Alathea's face.
It was the picture of disgust and resentment.
"Yes, it is perfectly true, Coralie--_Bon soir_."
In a temper, one could gather, Coralie put the receiver down! And I
laughed aloud.
"You see I prefer your intellectual conversation to any of my friends!"
I told Alathea.
Alathea's cheeks were a bright pink.
"It is not that," her tone was sarcastic, "so much as that you probably
have a sense of _tenue_, as the Duchesse says. After a little while you
will not have to observe it so strictly," and she rose from her chair
and went to the window. "If you are going to rest now, I would wish to
go out," her voice was a little hoarse.
"Yes, do go, and if you will be near the _rue de la Paix_ go into
Roberts' and ask if the new menthol preparation has come, and if so
bring it back to me, it takes ages for things to be sent now."
"I was not going to the _rue de la Paix_. I was going to a hospital."
"Never mind then, and don't hurry back, Burton will give me my tea. So
_au revoir_ until dinner Miladi."
I had to say all this because I was at breaking point, and could not any
longer have kept up the game, but would have made an ignominious
surrender, and have told her I loved her, and loathed the idea of a
mistress, and would certainly murder any lover she should ever glance
at!
She went from the room without a word more. And left alone I tried to
sleep, but it was no good. I was too excited. I don't think I am such a
fool as to flatter myself. I am trying to look at the situation
abstractedly. And it seems to me that Alathea is certainly interested in
me, certainly jealous of Suzette, of Coralie, furious with herself for
being so, really convinced now that she has lost her hold upon me,--and
is uneasy, rebellious, disturbed and unhappy!
All this is perfectly splendid,--my darling little girl!
After a while I went to sleep in my chair, and was awakened by Burton
coming in to turn on the lamps.
"Her Ladyship has ordered tea in her room, Sir Nicholas," he told me,
"Shall I bring yours here?"
"Her Ladyship has come in then?" I said.
"Her Ladyship did not go out, Sir," Burton answered surprised.
What did this mean I wondered? But I saw no sign of Alathea until she
came in ready for dinner as the clock struck eight.
She was pale but perfectly composed, she had evidently been having some
battle with herself and had won.
All through dinner she talked more politely and indifferently than she
has for a long time. She was brilliantly intelligent, and I had a most
delightful repast. We both came up to the scratch, I think.
She longs to visit Italy, she told me; she has not been there since she
was a child. I said I would take her directly the war would be over, and
things in the way of travel had become possible again. How strong her
will must be to have so mastered herself. No slightest sign of emotion,
one way or another, showed now. She was the serene, aloof companion of
the day at Versailles, before Suzette's shadow fell upon us. I grew
puzzled, as the evening wore on, and just a little unsure of myself. Had
I gone too far? Had I over disgusted her? Had all interest died out, and
so is she enabled to fulfill the bargain without any more disturbance of
mind?
I asked her to play to me at last, I was growing so apprehensive, and
she went from one divine thing to another for quite an hour, and then at
ten o'clock stopped and said a dignified and casual "good-night" leaving
me sitting in my chair.
I heard twelve and one strike after I too went to bed, no sleep would
come, I was reviewing things, and strengthening my courage. Then I got
up and hobbled into the salon to get the "Last Poems," the door was
open, why I don't know, nor do I know what impelled me to go out into
the passage and towards Alathea's room, some powerful magnet seemed to
draw me. The carpets are very deep and soft, no noise of footfalls can
be heard. I crept near the door and stopped. What was that faint sound?
I listened, yes it was a sob. I crept nearer.
_Alathea was crying._
A soft continued moaning as of one in resigned distress. I could hardly
bear it. I could hardly prevent myself from opening the door and going
to her to comfort her.
My darling, darling little girl!
Flight was my only resource. So I left her to her tears, and returned to
my bed, and when I was safely there and could think, a wild sense of
triumph and power and satisfaction filled me! The weight, which all the
evening her marvelous self-control had been able to make me feel, lifted
from my heart, and I rejoiced!
Is it possible that the primitive instinct of the joy of conquest could
make of me such a brute!
_It gave me pleasure to know that my little love suffered!_
The sooner would she belong to me--quite!