A Liverpool grocer was fined last week for overcharging for margarine,
eggs, cheese, ham, bacon, cocoa, jam and suet. Any other nation, it is
pointed out, would have had a man like that at the Peace Conference.
***
The strike of wives, as proposed by a weekly paper, did not
materialise. The husbands' threat to employ black-legs (alleged silk)
appears to have proved effective.
***
A Reigate resident advertises in a daily newspaper for the recovery of
a human jawbone. It is supposed that the owner lost it during a Tube
rush.
***
"London from above," says a _Daily Mail_ correspondent, "is
gloriously, tenderly, wistfully beautiful." We rather gather that it
is the lid of Carmelite House that gives it just that little note of
wistfulness.
***
"How to Prepare Marble Beef" is the subject of a contemporary's "Hints
to Young Housekeepers," We had always supposed that that sort of thing
could be safely left to the butcher.
***
The demobilised members of a Herefordshire band have all grown too
big for their uniforms. The contra-bombardon man, we understand, also
complains that his instrument is too tight round the chest.
***
"The one unselfish friend of man is the dog," said Sir FREDERICK
BANBURY, M.P. A less courageous man would certainly have mentioned the
PRESIDENT of the United States.
***
A correspondent who signs himself "Selborne" writes to inform us that
about 9 A.M. last Thursday he noticed a pair of labourers building
within a stone's-throw of Catford Bridge.
***
A Hendon man has just completed sixty-two years in a church choir. Few
choir-boys can boast of such a record.
***
One of the young recruits who joined the army last week in Dublin is
seven feet two inches in height. It is satisfactory to note that he is
on our side.
***
It is reported that seven cuckoos have been heard in different parts
of the country during the past week. It is felt in some quarters that
it may be just one cuckoo on a route march.
***
"Bacon Free Yesterday," says a headline. Somebody must have left the
door open.
***
An American scientest claims to have discovered a harmless germ likely
to defeat the "flu" microbe. It is said that some medical men have put
up a purse and that the two germs are being matched to fight a ten
round contest under National Sporting Club rules.
***
Those who have said that the unemployment donation makes for prolonged
holiday have just been dealt a sorry blow. It appears that one North
of England man in receipt of this pay has deliberately started work.
***
Plans for the housing of 12,000 Government clerks have just been
passed. While 12,000 may suffice for a nucleus, we cannot help
thinking that once again the Government isn't really trying.
***
A postman going his rounds at Kingston found a deserted baby on the
lawn of a front garden. It speaks well for the honesty of postal
servants that the child was at once given up.
***
We are pleased to announce with regard to the German waiter who, in
1913, gave a Scotsman a bad sixpence for change, that reassuring news
has just reached Scotland that the fellow, is still alive.
***
A morning paper states that a gentleman who had been at the War Office
since August 1914 was given a big reception on his return home. The
name of the Departmental Chief whom he had been waiting to see has not
yet been disclosed.
***
A morning paper tells us that FRISCO of New York, who is alleged to
have invented the Jazz, has declined an invitation to visit London.
Coward!
***
By the way, they might have told us whether the offer to FRISCO came
from London or New York. Meanwhile we draw our own conclusions.
***
With reference to the horse that recently refused at the third jump
and ran back to the starting-post, we are asked to say that this only
proves the value of backing horses both ways.
***
"No man," says a writer in a daily paper, "can sit down and see a girl
standing in a crowded Tube train." This no doubt accounts for so many
men closing their eyes whilst travelling.
***
Mr. DEVLIN, M.P., has communicated to the Press a scheme for solving
the Irish problem. This is regarded by Irish politicians generally as
a dangerous precedent.
***
A defendant in a County Court case heard in London last week stated in
his evidence that two of his daughters were working and the other was
a typist at the Peace Conference.
* * * * *
[Illustration: "HOW PLEASANT IT IS, MY DEAR HORACE, TO PLAY WITH ONE'S
TOYS WITHOUT INCURRING THE RISK OF HAVING ONE'S ENJOYMENT MARRED BY
THE TRAGIC DISCOVERY OF THEIR TEUTONIC ORIGIN!"]
* * * * *