The announcement of an engagement comes from the family of the girl.
The parents and relatives of the bridegroom-elect should call on the girl
and her mother, or if living in another city write cordial letters without
delay.
The bride-elect should respond to these advances with cordiality.
She should try to make her future husband's family like her.
Etiquette is not relaxed in the case of an engaged couple. They do not
make calls together except on relatives or very close friends. They may
not make journeys together unchaperoned.
The cost of a wedding, whether at church or at home, is borne by the
bride's family, the bridegroom paying for the wedding ring, the
clergyman's fee, and the carriage in which the pair leave the church after
the ceremony.
Though it may be necessary to limit the number of invitations to a
wedding, announcement cards should be sent to all the friends and
acquaintances of the two families.
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The "giving away" of a bride by her father is no mere form; it is a
recognition of family authority, the claim of a father upon his daughter.
It should therefore be a part of the ceremony.
Invitations to the church ceremony do not necessitate a wedding gift.
Those invited to the reception may send gifts if they so desire.
Cards are usually removed from gifts, but in some cases are left on.
All gifts should be acknowledged before the ceremony if possible, by the
bride herself.
If the bridegroom's parents live out of town, it is customary for the
parents of the bride to invite them to their home as guests of the
occasion. If this is not practicable, they may engage rooms for them at a
hotel, paying the bill in advance.
It is thought unlucky to postpone a wedding. Better withdraw the
invitations in case of severe illness or death, and have a quiet home
ceremony with few present.
A bridal procession always moves up the central aisle of the church. In
case there is no center aisle, it moves up one aisle and retires down the
other. The relatives of the bridegroom are seated in the body of the
church on the right; those of the bride are similarly placed on the left.
The hats of the father and ushers are left with the sexton in the
vestibule and handed to them as they leave.
At a church wedding a bride almost invariably wears a veil. Her attendants
wear hats. The maid-of-honor may wear a short veil.
The dress of the bridal party has already been fully described in a
preceding chapter.
It is the custom for the bridegroom to give a gift, almost invariably a
piece of jewelry, to his bride; and a small gift of silver or jewelry to
each of the ushers and to the best man. The bride generally gives some
souvenir of the same character to each of her attendants.
The bridegroom sends the bride her bouquet, and often one of violets or
her favorite flower to the bride's mother.
The bride's father seems a rather subordinate figure at the fashionable
wedding. After he has given away the bride, he retires into the
background, escorting his wife to her carriage at the conclusion of the
ceremony. He does not assist her in receiving the guests at the house, but
circulates among them after congratulations have been tendered the newly
wedded pair.
Formal afternoon dress is necessary for men who attend a day wedding, at
church or at home. At an evening wedding they wear evening clothes.
After a wedding, the members of the bridal party are expected to call on
the bride's mother within ten days or two weeks.
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A bridal party always stand with their backs to the audience, the
clergyman facing it.