That, in introducing people the man must always be introduced to the
woman.
That the younger woman, the unmarried, the less socially prominent, are
introduced to the older, the married and the more renowned..
That to pronounce names distinctly avoids much awkwardness to those
introduced.
A casual meeting on the street does not necessitate an introduction.
Never present yourself with a letter of introduction. Leave it at the
door.
That a card represents a visit, and that leaving your name in this way
makes your friend your debtor.
That after dinners, luncheons, theatre and card parties a call is
required, whether the invitation is accepted or not.
An invitation to a wedding must be acknowledged by sending cards to those
in whose name the invitation was issued, and may, if she so pleases, call
on the bride on her return from her wedding journey.
One should send announcement cards rather than invitations to those with
whom acquaintance is slight.
An invitation to afternoon tea does not require reply. Leave cards if
present.
The etiquette of calling on an "at home" day does not differ from that of
an ordinary call, save that some light refreshment is offered, as a rule.
That the bachelor and the widower should respond to every invitation
whether accepted or declined, by calling and leaving cards, whereas the
married man's wife may leave his cards with her own. Men ignore this rule
a great deal, however.
[MANNERS AND SOCIAL CUSTOMS 783]
Cards must be engraved, never written or printed.
That a married woman uses her husband's full name on her cards; that a
man's name always has the prefix Mr., and an unmarried woman's or young
girl's that of Miss, and that "pet" names are not "good form" on cards.
The extreme limit of a call is twenty minutes, and the first caller to
arrive should be the first to depart.
That you should not prolong your leave-taking.
That the lady invites the man to call, and being thus complimented he
should soon avail himself of the permission.
It is the mother's place to invite young men to call, not the daughter's,
though she may say "My mother would be pleased to have you call on us,"
The mother must then meet and assist, for a time at least, in entertaining
him.
A first call must always be returned. Afterwards the acquaintance need not
be continued.
"Not at home" is no discourtesy to a caller if she is so informed when the
maid opens the door. The maid should know whether her mistress wishes to
see callers or not.
P. p. c. on a card means "To take leave," and intimates your friend is
leaving town for a season.
It is customary for mother and daughter to use a card on which hath names
appear when calling together. A debutante, in our most conventional
society, has no separate card of her own. If she calls without her mother,
she uses this double card, running a pencil mark lightly through her
mother's name.
Sisters may use a card in common; it should be engraved "The Misses
Jones," and used when calling together or sending gifts.
The divorced woman, if she drops her husband's name by permission of the
court, uses her maiden name on her cards, with the prefix Mrs. If she
retains her husband's name, she usually combines her family name with it,
as Mrs. Jones Brown.
A card should never be handed to a hostess or any member of the family.
Lay it on the table. If a member of the family opens the door, a card need
not be used, though one is often left as above.
At afternoon teas, receptions and "At Homes" the visitor leaves a card for
the hostess on the tray in the hall, and one for the guest of honor, or
the debutante if one is being introduced.
A card to an "At Home" or an afternoon reception does not require either
acceptance or regret. If the person invited attends she leaves her card;
if not, she sends it by mail to reach the home on the day of the
reception.
[784 MOTHERS' REMEDIES]
An invitation to a dinner must be answered immediately, and
unconditionally accepted or declined.
If, having accepted, it becomes absolutely impossible to keep the
engagement, the earliest possible notice must be given to the hostess.
It is unpardonable to be late at a dinner party. Arrivals are expected
within ten minutes of the hour named.
One wears the best she has that is suitable for a dinner party.
The reply to an invitation must follow the style of the invitation. If
formal, that is, in the third person, the reply must also be in the third
person. If informal, the personal form being employed, the reply is also
informal.
Do not send your card with "Regrets" written upon it, in response to any
invitation, formal or informal.
Telephone invitations are admissible only for informal affairs. General
invitations, given verbally, have no social footing. "Do come and dine
with us some day," unless followed by a definite date or note of
invitation, means nothing.
An invitation given by a man to dine or visit, or to a home entertainment,
is not to be accepted unless seconded by his wife.
A girl, sending invitations to commencement exercises, encloses her card.
It is bad form to show that one feels slighted or affronted at not having
been invited to any function, or not given the precedence one feels
herself entitles to. The hostess, in her own home, obeys such rules as she
believes correct.
A visitor is expected to contribute her share to the pleasure of the
occasion by being conversationally agreeable.
If hostess, one must overlook every awkwardness on the part of the guest
or servant, and any accident to one's belongings, but be deeply solicitous
and apologetic if an accident happens to a guest,
The guest of honor at a dinner party should take leave first. Other
departures follow speedily.