"The future destiny of the child is always the work of the mother."
--Bonaparte.
Children reflect the manners of their homes. As they learn to talk after
the fashion of their parents' speech, so they learn to be polite by
example, aided by training, and in both cases the habit of youth persists
in greater or less degree all through life.
To train children properly requires patience and persistence, but to have
polite children, and to feel that they know what to do and how to do it
when they begin to go out, is certainly a great source of satisfaction to
a mother, on whom the burden of training falls.
The secret of success is beginning early. Before the baby is three years
old he should be in process of training. When he comes into the use of
spoon, knife and fork, he should be taught how to hold these properly, and
how to feed himself. He should never be permitted to play with his food;
out of that baby habit comes the later playing with crumbs, holding the
fork in the hand when not eating, drinking tea from a spoon, and other
little gaucheries resorted to in embarrassment or preoccupation. It is not
necessary to wait until a child is ten or twelve years old before teaching
him not to interrupt a conversation, and to make his wants known quietly
and without iteration, nor yet that your yea means yea, and your nay, nay.
First Lessons.--The mother's first lesson is usually in regard to taking
off his hat or cap. Teach him to remove this as soon as he enters the
house, as soon as he begins to go out of doors alone, and the habit will
become life-long. It is very charming to see a child of either sex rise to
open the door for a visitor, or stand while she talks to him. One often
sees boys of seven, nine and eleven years of age occupying the seats in a
car while the ladies stand. No mother should permit this.
Whether a child should say "father" and "mother," or use the more babyish
form of "papa" and "mama" is a matter of parental choice, but the
preference in some circles is for the former. A blunt "yes" or "no" is not
thought polite from a child; he should say "yes, father," "no, mama,"
"yes, Mrs. Smith." "Ma'am" as a form of address is quite obsolete.
Most parents make the mistake of believing their children as absorbingly
interesting to other people as they are to them, and bring them forward so
prominently that they become tiresome. A good rule is for the mother to
allow children to greet the visitor and then send them away to their play.
The spectacle of a little child primly seated on a chair and "taking in"
the conversation with eyes and ears is not wholly edifying; while to allow
a child to hang on a visitor or monopolize the attention makes the
youngster a nuisance.