"A fig for your bill of fare; show me your bill of company,"
As has already been remarked, we ask our "dear Five Hundred" to our balls
and receptions, reserving our dinner invitations for those whom we
particularly wish to compliment. The dinner we provide is by no means of
the comfortable "pot-Iuck" kind. It is, in society, an elaborate and
expensive form of entertainment. A dinner to eight people, not specially
elaborate and without wines, rarely costs the giver less than $25 or $30,
and may easily run much higher. It requires delicacies for the palate,
flowers and bonbons and other decorations for the table, and ceremonious
serving. The finest of linen, cut glass and silver adorn it, and the
repast may easily be prolonged through two or more hours. Such a dinner is
served in courses; begins with an appetizer, extends through soup, fish,
joint, salad and dessert courses at the very least, and ends with coffee,
served at the table or in some other apartment--the library or drawing
room--where the guests converse over their cups.
Such a meal cannot be prepared or served without competent service in the
kitchen and dining-room. The cook must know how to prepare every dish in
the best manner, and have it ready at the right moment; the waiter must be
experienced and noiseless. The hostess must have such perfect confidence
that everything will progress in perfect and proper order that she can
give her full attention to the guests,
Serving the Dinner.--Let us suppose a dinner for eight people is to be
served. The ceremonious dinner, the world over, is served a la Russe, that
is, according to the Russian fashion. By this fashion nothing but the
covers--a term which includes the china, silver and glass at each
plate--flowers, dishes of bonbons, salted nuts and olives, occasionally
small cakes, are on the table when the guests are seated,
[MANNERS AND SOCIAL CUSTOMS 699]
The hostess has inspected the table, after it is laid, seeing that
everything is correct, Silver must have had a fresh polish, the cut glass
must shine and sparkle, There must be plenty of light, yet no glare; to
prevent this, ground glass globes on the electric lights are preferred.
The hostess herself will arrange the place cards, separating married
people, and in so far as possible so seating her guests that each may be
pleased with his or her neighbor. The centerpiece is of flowers; for this
never choose a strongly scented flower like hyacinths or narcissi. The
heat, the odor of the food, combined with the scent of the flowers, may
induce lethargy, so that the dinner may be "garnished with stupidity."
There must be a service plate at each place. These are to be as handsome
as you can afford. At the side of this is laid the dinner napkin, within
which a roll is folded. The guest removes the napkin, unfolding it for
use. The waitress removes the service plate and puts down another on which
is a grapefruit, vermouth, or other kind of cocktail. This plate and glass
removed, there comes another plate, and little dishes of caviarre are
passed. These plates also disappear, others are substituted, and soup is
served. After the soup is eaten the soup plates are removed, leaving the
other plates, and celery and radishes and salted nuts and olives are
passed, not necessarily all, but at least two, say celery and olives; nuts
and radishes. If the little individual almond dishes are used, of course
the salted nuts will not be passed.
These plates are again changed when the fish is served, the rule being
that at no time during the dinner must a guest be without a plate before
him until the table is cleared for dessert. Moreover, the waitress, in
placing plates that have a monogram or heraldic device for decoration,
must so place the plate before each guest that the design faces him. In
taking up the plates, one is taken up with the right hand while with the
left the waitress replaces it with another; one plate is never placed upon
another.
The fish, meat, and other courses are served from the pantry, the portions
being arranged for convenience in helping, and garnished with parsley or
lemon. The dish is passed first to the guest seated at the host's right
hand, next to the one on the left, and afterwards in regular rotation,
irrespective of sex. All service is at the left; this leaves the guest's
right hand in position to help himself. The waitress holds the dish upon a
folded napkin on the flat of her hand, and low down. Vegetables are passed
in the same fashion.
You will see how much depends upon having well trained servants at such a
dinner. The service must be without haste, yet without delay; there must
be no clatter of china and silver, no awkwardness in removing plates, etc.
The waitress must be quick to refill glasses or supply whatever is needed.
[700 MOTHERS' REMEDIES]
The Help Required.--A dinner to twelve or fourteen guests cannot be served
properly without two or three waiters--usually men at such large
dinners--and additional help in the kitchen. So much thought and anxiety
are required for the success of a home dinner party that it is small
wonder many prefer to add a little to the expense, in cities at least, and
order a dinner for the requisite number at hotel or club, where the
responsibility rests with the management after the details of the menu are
settled. Such a dinner is less of a compliment to one's guests than the
entertainment at one's own home, however; and why should one possess
stores of beautiful and expensive furnishings without their use?
One dinner generally means another a short time afterwards, since in
selecting the small number who can be entertained one must necessarily
leave out others who have equal claims to hospitality and whose sense of
being slighted must be appeased. And if the hostess is socially prominent
she may find herself embarked on a course of entertainments that will tax
her time and her funds to a considerable degree.
Invitations to a dinner must be sent at least two weeks in advance. As has
already been stated, an immediate and unconditional acceptance or regret
is demanded.
Precedence.--At these formal dinners, the question of precedence engages
the hostess's attention, If all the guests are about on equal terms, the
host takes out the oldest or most prominent lady, seating her at his
right. The other, guests are paired off according to the hostess's ideas
of social propriety or congeniality. No man ever takes his wife in to
dinner. The place of honor for men is at the hostess's right hand. Dinner
cards, legibly written, are placed on the napkins. The men draw out the
chairs and seat the ladies, then seat themselves. Generally, at a small
dinner, the hostess tells each man before leaving the drawing room, whom
he is to take out: at large functions, he finds in the men's cloak room an
envelope addressed to him containing the lady's name. He seeks out his
partner and gives her his arm when dinner is announced.
Be Prompt.--It is almost unpardonable for a guest to be late at a dinner.
The arrival should be within fifteen minutes of the time named on the
invitation, never earlier. The hostess must be ready in ample time, and
must appear calm and untroubled. Nervousness bespeaks the novice in
entertaining. Generally, however, even if the affair passes off without
any contretemps she is ready to say "Thank heaven it's over!"
Now this is not to say that one may not serve a good and very enjoyable
dinner or luncheon to a few friends, without as much trouble and expense
as are here indicated. This is simply to state how such meals are served,
formally and informally. Knowing the proper procedure one may adopt as
much or as little as her circumstances and style of living warrant.
[MANNERS AND SOCIAL CUSTOMS 701]