The number of wedding invitations often must conform to the size of the
church or the house, and to the character of the wedding. If it is to be a
large one, cards are usually sent as liberally as possible. An invitation
to the church may not invite to the reception at the house afterwards,
which may necessarily be limited because of the size of the house or the
means of the family. No guest receiving cards for the church should let
herself feel aggrieved because of failure to receive the other. Answers to
invitations should invariably be sent; many omit this, not thinking it
necessary, but why not?
Announcement cards are sent to everyone you know, or, more properly, to
all those whom you wish to recognize socially. It is quite correct to send
them to people you know but slightly. They are mailed immediately after
the wedding. They imply no obligation in the way of gift or reply. If an
"at home" card is enclosed, calls are expected.
Correct Form.
Wedding invitations of course must be engraved. The following form is
employed:
Mr. and Mrs. Lawrence Harmon
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Harriet
to
Mr. Harrison Richard Ames
on Thursday, the sixth of January,
at twelve o'clock.
Church of the Messiah.
If the wedding is at home, the street and number are given in place of the
church.
[MANNERS AND SOCIAL CUSTOMS 697]
If the bride has no mother, the invitations are issued in the name of the
father; if no father, the mother's name is used. If an orphan, invitations
are issued in the name of the nearest of kin in the town where the wedding
occurs. If a married sister and her husband issue, the words "their
sister" are used. If a girl has a stepfather her own name is engraved in
full. Announcement cards follow the same rules as to who issues them, and
are couched in these words:
Mr. and Mrs. Hughson Smith
announce the marriage of their sister
Bettina
to
Mr. James Rhodes Grayson,
on Monday, the tenth of January,
Nineteen hundred and ten,
at the Church of the Messiah,
in the City of Cleveland.
For a home wedding, this formula is correct:
My dear Mrs. Jennings:
My daughter Julia is to be married to Mr. George Bronson Holmes on
Monday, the tenth of January, at twelve o'clock, and it will give Mr.
Brush and myself much pleasure if you and Mr. Jennings will come.
Yours sincerely,
Eleanor Graves Brush.
For informal church weddings, with small reception to follow, or for a
simple home wedding, most people prefer to use the engraved cards, but
personal notes may with perfect propriety take their place. For a home
wedding, the above formula is correct.
The Bridegroom's Family.
In inviting the bridegroom's parents by note, the mother may write: "Will
you and Mr. Holmes come to the quiet informal wedding of my daughter Julia
and your son on Monday," etc. Such invitations are written by the mother.
Other members of the family are included by adding "you and Mr. Jennings
and your daughter will come." Written invitations may follow the form of
the engraved, but for a small wedding at home, which will be of course
more or less informal, the personal form seems more in keeping.
Other Items.
Formal wedding invitations and announcements are addressed, one to the
head of the family, Mr. and Mrs. Jones; one to Miss Jones, or to The
Misses Jones, if there are several daughters, and one to each young man of
the family.
Note that the year is given in an announcement, but not in an invitation.
Announcements are engraved on note-paper, as in the case of invitations.
[698 MOTHERS' REMEDIES]
A double wedding, which requires two ceremonies, also requires two sets of
invitations and announcements.
It is quite correct for a girl who has been employed in an office to send
an announcement of her marriage to her former employer, but if he is
married, it must be addressed to "Mr. and Mrs." So-and-So.
Do not abbreviate in writing notes of invitation, nor permit it on
engraved invitations. Doctor, Judge, Reverend, are to be in full. Mr.
before a man's name is the only abbreviation permitted. The names of the
month, day, year, and of the street or avenue are written out in full.