THE CAPTAIN’S LUDICROUS ADVENTURE.
Mr. Curtis arose at a very early hour--at least for him,--it being only
eight o’clock when he sallied forth with the intention of seeking Mr.
Bubbleton Styles, on whose purse he contemplated as deep an inroad as
that gentleman’s circumstances would permit.
But before he quitted the house, he partook of breakfast, and
likewise carried in some tea and toast to his friend the captain,
who was compelled, “under painful circumstances,” as Frank observed,
to keep his bed for an hour or two. The gallant officer charged his
companion and ally to return without delay--the prudence of shifting
their quarters as soon as convenient, being strongly suggested by the
enquiries instituted regarding them on the preceding evening.
Having disposed of his breakfast. Captain O’Blunderbuss turned himself
round in his bed and took a nap--in which luxurious state of light and
dreamy repose he remained for upwards of an hour, when he was suddenly
awakened by a low, sneaking, suspicious kind of double knock at the
street-door.
He started up in bed; and, as he hastily collected his scattered ideas,
the affair of Rumrigg and Kaysay flashed to his mind.
Leaping from his couch as a chesnut bounces from a shovel on the fire,
Captain O’Blunderbuss pulled on his stockings, thrust his feet into his
slippers, and stole out upon the landing, where he held his breath and
listened attentively.
At that very instant the servant-girl, who invariably kept people
waiting at the door as long as possible, answered the summons; and the
captain overheard the following colloquy.
“Is the genelmen at home, my dear?” asked a rough, harsh, grating voice.
“Oh! you’re the one that stopped and spoke to me last evening,”
responded the girl.
“Just so: but it was o’ny to make a few civil enquiries consarning your
missus’s lodgers. I ’spose they’re at home; and so me and my friend
will just walk up, my dear--‘cause our business is partickler.”
“Well, then, it ain’t of no use to go up now,” said the servant-girl:
“for Mr. Curtis has gone out, and the captain isn’t out of
bed--leastways, he hasn’t left his room yet; and he brekfusted there.”
“Never mind, my dear,” persisted the man with the hoarse voice: “we’ll
just walk up and pay our respeks to the captain, who is a wery nice
genelman no doubt.”
From this conversation the gallant officer learnt that there were _two_
persons enquiring for him, although _one_ only appeared to speak in
the matter. His worst suspicions were confirmed: they were bailiffs,
come to arrest him on the cognovit given jointly by himself and his
inseparable friend Mr. Francis Curtis to those astute gentlemen,
Messrs. Rumrigg and Kaysay.
What was to be done? He must dress himself in all possible haste, and
fight his way desperately out of the house!
This was his first idea.
But it was so easy to think of dressing--and so difficult to carry the
scheme into execution: for, alas! the gallant officer’s unmentionables
were at the tailor’s; and he knew that Frank possessed not a second
pair!
What, then, was to be done?
Should he surrender himself into the hands of the officers, and be
borne ignominiously to Whitecross Street? The thought was ridiculous
with such a man as Captain O’Blunderbuss!
Locking his own door, and taking the key with him, he scud up to
the top storey, and sought refuge in the bed-chamber of Mrs. Rudd,
who, he felt assured, had gone out to market as usual--otherwise she
would have been certain to emerge from her parlour below and join in
the conversation which had taken place between the bailiffs and the
servant-girl.
The captain’s first thought, in thus flying to his landlady’s
bed-chamber, was merely to seek refuge there, and leave the officers to
suppose that he had gone out. It struck him that they would knock at
his door--would force open that door on not receiving any answer--and
would then conclude that he really was not at home. In the meantime
he should have leisure to decide upon the best means of ultimately
avoiding the bailiffs altogether.
But scarcely had he entered Mrs. Rudd’s room when a new and truly
magnificent idea suggested itself--or rather, was suggested by the fact
that an open cupboard revealed the worthy landlady’s best silk gown,
while upon a chest of drawers stood the good woman’s Sunday bonnet, to
which she had been putting a new ribband that very morning before she
went out. The bonnet, which was of fine straw and of a large shape, was
provided with an ample blue gauze veil; for Mrs. Rudd liked to be smart
on the Sabbath--if it were only to compete with her female neighbours
who attended the “ministry” of the Reverend Emanuel Flummery.
The appearance of the two articles of dress just specified, determined
the gallant officer how to act; and his arrangements were made with
almost lightning speed.
The reader will recollect that he had no clothes at the moment to put
off before he put others on--he having sought the landlady’s room in
his shirt, stockings, and slippers. To slip into the silk dress was
therefore the work of an instant: to assume the Leghorn bonnet was
an affair accomplished with equal speed;--and to ransack the widow’s
drawers for a shawl was a matter scarcely occupying ten seconds. Then,
drawing the veil in thick folds over his moustachioed and whiskered
countenance with one hand, and grasping Mrs. Rudd’s parasol in the
other, Captain O’Blunderbuss took a hasty survey of himself in the
glass, and was perfectly satisfied with the result.
We have before stated that Mrs. Rudd was very tall, starch, and
prim; and the reader is aware that Captain O’Blunderbuss was no
dwarf--neither was he particularly stout. Thus, although he certainly
appeared a very colossal woman, he might still pass as one at a
pinch--and surely need was never more pinching than on the present
occasion. At all events he was resolved to make the attempt; and
the exciting nature of the incident was just of the kind which he
particularly relished--though, perhaps, he would rather have had the
fun without the danger of the thing.
In the meantime he had not been in a state of ignorance of what was
passing on the landing of the floor below; for the bailiffs, having
ascended to that height, stopped at his own chamber door, at which
they knocked. But receiving no answer, the one with the hoarse voice
exclaimed, “Captain O’Blunderbuss, I’ve got a message for you wery
particklar from a friend of your’n.”
Still there was no response; and the man, addressing himself to the
servant-girl, asked her if she were sure that the captain was at home.
“I’m certain he is,” was the reply; “because he’s sent out
his--his--trousers to be mended, and is lying a-bed till they come
back.”
“But mayn’t he have another pair?” demanded the bailiff.
“I don’t b’lieve he have,” said the girl: “leastways, I never see more
than one either on or off him.”
“Then the captain _is_ at home,” growled the sheriff’s-officer; “and we
must do our dooty, Tom.”
These last words were evidently addressed by the speaker to his
companion; and the captain comprehended that the forcing of the door
would be the next step. Nor was he wrong in his conjecture;--for,
before the servant girl could divine the intention of the two men, they
had effected an entrance into the chamber which the gallant officer had
only quitted three minutes previously.
The captain, who had been listening at the door of Mrs. Rudd’s own
bed-room, now partly descended the stairs, and again stood still to
listen--his proceedings being conducted as noiselessly and cautiously
as possible.
“Well--I’m blowed if he’s here!” exclaimed the bailiff with the hoarse
voice.
“No more than a cat,” returned his companion.
“How’s this, my dear?” continued the first speaker: “have you been
a-making fools on us?”
“No,” answered the girl sharply: “I thought the captain was here--but
he ain’t. So I s’pose he’s gone out without my hearing or seeing him.
But now you’ve broke the lock of the door and must pay for it--or else
missus will blow me up finely when she comes home from market.”
“Then she _is_ at market,” said Captain O’Blunderbuss to himself,
his hopes becoming more elated by the assurance thus conveyed to him
through the servant-girl’s remark to the bailiffs.
“Pay for it, indeed!” growled the one with the hoarse voice. “That
won’t suit our books neither. S’pose we fix the lock on agin in such a
way that it won’t be knowed as how we ever busted the door open at all?”
“Well--do what you like; but make haste about it, ’cause missus is
sure to come home in a minit or two--leastways if she’s raly out; for
I didn’t see her go. But I s’pose she is--or else she’d have been down
afore this to know what all the row’s about.”
“We’ll see to it, my dear,” observed the hoarse-speaking bailiff. “But
I say, Tom--here’s the captain’s cap, and coat, and veskitt. Bless’d if
I believe he’s gone out arter all! Let’s search t’other rooms: this gal
is a-playing tricks with us.”
“Come into Mr. Curtis’s chamber and see,” exclaimed the juvenile
servant; and the captain heard the party pursuing their domiciliary
visit in the quarter alluded to. “Well, now?” said the girl, with a
derisive laugh: “is he there? Oh! ah! you may look under the bed! Why
don’t you search the drawers--or get up the chimley and look out on the
tiles?”
“Don’t be sarsy, my dear,” growled the bailiff. “Come--here’s a
shillin’ for you. Now tell us the truth--ain’t the captain somewhere in
the house?”
“Yes--I’m sure he be,” returned the girl; “’cause his breeches is gone
to be mended, and his coat and wescutt and cap is in his own room--and
I know he ain’t got two suits of clothes. Besides,” she added, sinking
her voice to a tone of mysterious confidence--though not so low as to
be inaudible to the gallant officer on the stairs above, “his bluchers
is down stairs to be blacked--and I’ll swear he ain’t got two pair of
them.”
“Then he is in the house,” said the bailiff. “Now, Tom, I tell’ee what
we must do. You stay here, and me and the gal will just toddle down
stairs and look in the kitchen, and scullery, and sich-like places.”
“Oh! but you must put the lock right first,” exclaimed the girl; “for
if missus--Lor! here she is!” added the affrighted servant, in a
hurried whisper.
The fact was that the captain, by some awkward and unintentional
movement, at that very instant rustled the silk gown loud enough for
the sound to catch the ears of the girl and the bailiffs; and he was
about to curse his folly, when, finding that all had suddenly become
still on the floor below, it instantly struck him that the juvenile
servant had imposed silence on the officers for fear her mistress
should stop to enquire the cause of their presence and thereby notice
the damaged lock.
He was perfectly correct in his conjecture: and, perceiving that
the sudden stillness remained unbroken, he boldly descended the
stairs--imitating as well as he could the measured walk of the
sanctimonious landlady, and treading with feminine lightness in his
slippers.
On reaching the landing--the dreaded landing whence opened the room
where the officers were concealed with the servant girl--Captain
O’Blunderbuss felt a violent inclination to make a precipitate rush
down the remainder of the stairs to the bottom: but, fearing that such
a proceeding would only lead to his capture, as it was certain to
excite an instantaneous suspicion of the truth and a vigorous pursuit
in consequence, he pursued his way with measured tread, taking good
care to rustle the silk dress as much as possible.
The landing of the first floor was gained in safety: he was descending
the last flight--and his escape appeared certain,--when a loud double
knock at the front-door echoed through the dwelling.
For an instant the gallant officer was staggered: but a second thought
convinced him that it was not his landlady’s knock--and he sped boldly
on.
Drawing his veil as closely as possible over his countenance, and
tucking the parasol under his arm for the moment, he opened the
front-door.
The visitor was the Rev. Mr. Emanuel Flummery.
“Ah! my dear madam,” said that pious man, stepping into the passage
with all the unceremonious ease of a familiar friend, and not at the
instant noticing the extraordinary height of the person whom he thus
addressed; “I looked in just to ask you how you were--and--and,” he
added, sinking his voice to a low whisper, “for the purpose of tasting
in your arms a renewal of those favours which you yesterday----”
But to the ineffable wonderment of the reverend gentleman, the
fictitious Mrs. Rudd dealt him such a sudden and violent blow with a
heavy clenched fist, just between his two eyes, that he was floored on
the spot; and the captain seizing the front-door key, darted out of the
house.
Banging the door behind him, the gallant officer locked it, and marched
away with a haste and a manliness of step which, had any one been
passing at the time, would have betrayed his real sex in a moment.
Suddenly, however, it struck him that he was playing a female
character; and, instantly relaxing his speed, he assumed a gait so
mincing, affected, and fantastic, that his appearance was most comical
and ludicrous.
He put up the parasol, and held it so as to screen his countenance,
over which he likewise kept the blue gauze veil in many folds; and,
in this manner, the gallant gentleman pursued his way half round the
Square--not daring to take precipitately to his heels, yet fearful
every instant of hearing a hue and cry raised behind him.
“Lauk-a-daisy me!” cried a female voice, suddenly breaking upon the
captain’s ears, and speaking close by.
“Be Jasus! mim--and is it yourself?” ejaculated the gallant gentleman,
stopping short: “because it’s me that’s afther being Misthress Rudd
just at the prisint spaking!”
“You Mrs. Rudd!” exclaimed the infuriated landlady.
“Here--murder--thieves----”
“Hould, mim!” said the captain, in a tone so ferocious that it
silenced the woman in an instant: “if ye’re afther raising an alarm,
mim, I’ll bethray ye to all the wor-r-ld for having bestowed your
favours yesterday on that spalpeen of a methodist parson--that will I,
Misthress Rudd, and bad luck to ye!”
The landlady was thunderstruck--astounded.
“So now, mim, just walk on quietly to your own house, of which I hereby
prisint ye with the kay,” continued the captain; “and mind ye don’t
look once behind ye until ye reach your own door--and I’ll sind your
toggery back again this evening--and you’ll be sure to give mine to the
missinger that brings yours, paying likewise for my throusers, mim. And
bewar-r-r, mim,” added the gallant gentleman, with a terrific rattling
of the r’s, “how ye bethray me in any way--if ye valley the sacret of
your indecent proceedings with the methodist parson.”
Thus speaking, the captain handed the bewildered Mrs. Rudd the key of
her house, and hurried on.
From the moment that he had quitted the dwelling until the termination
of this scene, scarcely three minutes had elapsed: but the captain
was well aware that the bailiffs would not be much longer before
they discovered his flight, as the Rev. Mr. Flummery, whom he had
so unceremoniously knocked down in the passage, would speedily and
inevitably give them such information as would open their eyes to the
real truth of all the recent proceedings.
Accordingly, the gallant gentleman’s object was to get away from
Charterhouse Square within the shortest space of time possible; and
the moment he parted from Mrs. Rudd he struck into the Charter House
itself, under the impression that there was a thoroughfare in this
direction.
But before he turned under the gloomy archway of that monastic
establishment, he looked round and beheld the landlady still standing
on the spot where he had left her--motionless, and apparently petrified
with horror and astonishment at the threats which he had held out. Her
back was, however, turned towards him,--and he therefore felt more at
ease in his mind as he entered the Charter House.
“Who do you want, mem?” said the porter, as he emanated from his crib.
But Captain O’Blunderbuss affected not to hear the challenge, and
passed on--adopting that mincing affectation of gait which we have
before noticed, and which made him appear such a comical figure.
“Well, I’m blowed if I ever see sich a o’oman!” mattered the porter
to himself, as he returned to his lodge. “Vonderful giantesses ain’t
nothink to her. And her petticuts--my eye! ain’t ’em short too? But she
hasn’t a wery bad leg neither--though her stockins might be a trifle or
so cleaner.”
The captain continued his way,--still shading his head with
the parasol--still keeping the veil closely folded over his
countenance,--but not the less able to reconnoitre the place in which
he now found himself for the first time in his life.
He beheld a wide, open space, laid out in grass plats, bordered
and intersected by gravel walks, and surrounded by low continuous
buildings, of uniform architecture and cloistral appearance.
Here and there were scattered groups of old men--collected in knots
of threes and fours, and apparently basking in the summer sun, which
warmed their frames so attenuated and chilled by age. They did not
appear happy--scarcely comfortable or contented;--and could the captain
have overheard the remarks which they mumbled and muttered to each
other, he would have found that they loathed and detested--hated and
abhorred the monastic gloom, the rigid discipline, and the monotonous
course of life to which necessity had consigned them.
When the gallant officer made his appearance in this enclosure, his
strange and ludicrous figure instantly attracted the notice of the
various groups alluded to; and the old fellows began to wonder whom the
tall, stately-looking dame was about to honour with a visit.
But by this time Captain O’Blunderbuss had arrived at the unpleasant
conviction that there was no thoroughfare either into Goswell Street
or Wilderness Row; and he once more found himself, as he subsequently
observed, “in a divil of a pother.”
The reader is, however, well aware that our gallant friend was not
precisely the man to turn back and surrender to his enemies, who, he
felt assured, must by this time be instituting an active search after
him in the vicinity--even if they had not become aware that he had
sought refuge in the Charter House.
What was to be done?
Nothing--save to enlist some kind inmate of the establishment in his
interests;--and on this proceeding he at once decided.
From an upper window he beheld a good-natured, red, round, jolly face
looking forth, the casement being open;--and a rapid glance showed the
captain the staircase that led to the particular room in which the
proprietor of that face must be.
He accordingly walked on with the steady pace and apparent ease of a
person who had the assurance of knowing his--or should we not rather
say _her_--way;--and entering the building, he ascended the stairs,
until he reached a door on which was a brass-plate bearing the name of
MR. SCALES.
Without any ceremony, the captain walked into the room; and the
gentleman with the red face, turning away from the window, began to
contemplate his supposed visitress with the most profound amazement.
But how much was this surprise enhanced, when the apparent lady threw
down the parasol, exclaiming in a voice of singularly masculine
power, “Bad luck to ye! ye damned spalpeen of an umbrilla!”--and
then immediately afterwards raised a veil which revealed a face
embellished with a fierce pair of moustachios and a very decent pair of
whiskers--to say nothing of a certain ferociousness of expression and a
weather-beaten complexion, which added to the unfeminine appearance of
the whole countenance.
“What the deuce does all this mean?” demanded the Brother of the
Charter House, at length recovering the use of his tongue, and with
difficulty subduing an inclination to laugh;--for he was a jolly old
bird, as his face denoted, and doubtless fancied that some masquerading
amusement was in progress.
“What does it mane!” ejaculated the gallant officer; “why, just this,
me frind--that I’m no more a woman than ye are yourself--but it’s
Capthain O’Bluntherbuss I am, of Bluntherbuss Park, ould Ireland. The
shiriff’s people are afther me--and I ’scaped ’em in this toggery.
So now it’s your own precious aid and assistance I want--and, be the
pow-r-rs! ye’ll not repint of any kindness ye may show to a genthleman
in timporary difficulties.”
Mr. Scales--for such was indeed the name of the red-faced Brother whose
hospitality and aid the captain thus sought--now burst out laughing
in good earnest; and the gallant officer laughed too--for he dared
not show any ill-feeling on the score of his new friend’s merriment.
Besides, that very merriment seemed to augur a willingness to render
the assistance demanded: and therefore the two laughed in concert very
heartily and for upwards of a couple of minutes.
At last Mr. Scales’s mirth subsided into a low chuckle, until it became
altogether extinct so far as its vocal expression was concerned;--and
then he enquired in what manner he could render his aid to Captain
O’Blunderbuss.
The gallant gentleman very frankly revealed to him his real position:
namely, that he had been compelled to beat a precipitate retreat
from his lodgings, where he had left his cap, coat, waistcoat, and
boots,--that his breeches were at the tailor’s,--that he had nothing
on but his landlady’s garments, barring his own shirt, stockings, and
slippers,--that he had not a penny in his pocket, nor indeed any pocket
at all as he then stood equipped,--and that he was most anxious to get
into the City, where he could obtain funds in a minute.
Mr. Scales indulged in another laugh, and then proceeded to comment on
the statement which had been made to him.
“I have got a couple of sovereigns in my pocket,” he began, “and don’t
mind advancing them for your service if they will do any good.”
“Faith! and they’ll pay the landlady and the tailor!” ejaculated the
captain, quite delighted at the prospect just held out.
“Very well,” said Mr. Scales. “Then we can recover your clothes for
you. But how will it be if the officers are in the house, and, seeing
your landlady give me the garments, should follow me?”
“Be Jasus! and Misthress Rudd is complately in my power-r!” cried
Captain O’Blunderbuss:--“just tell her that if she don’t manage the
thing slily for ye, that I’ll split upon her and the Riverind Mr.
Eminuel Flummery--and she’ll turn as make and as mild as a lamb. But I
must be afther sinding her back her own toggery.”
“I’ve got a large band-box in my little bed-room adjoining,” said
Mr. Scales; “and I don’t mind carrying out the gown and the bonnet
and shawl in it. Never do things by halves--that’s my motto. In the
meantime, you can put on my dressing-gown:--I am sorry my own clothes
would be much too small for you--or else----”
“Oh! be Jasus! and I’d sooner get back my own,” cried the captain. “I
niver should dar-r to prisint myself in any other toggery to my frind
in the City.”
“Well and good: you can step into my bed-room and undress yourself,”
said Mr. Scales; “and I’ll be off as soon as you are ready.”
“And them ould fogeys down stairs in the yard,” observed the
captain,--“they’ll be afther quistioning ye, my frind, about the tall
lady in the black silk gown that’s a foot and a half too shor-r-t for
her.”
“Oh! leave them to me,” said the good-natured Brother of the Charter
House: “I’ll tell them it’s my sister. Bless your soul, they’re all
purblind, and never will have noticed any thing peculiar in your dress.
It’s the nurses that I most fear--the charwomen of the establishment, I
mean;--for if any of them saw you----”
“I didn’t observe one of them, my dear frind,” interrupted the captain.
“But we’ve niver a ha’porth of time to lose--and so I’ll be afther
getting out of this infer-r-nal silk gown and Lighorn bonnet.”
From the moderate-sized, but lofty and airy apartment in which
this colloquy took place, the captain passed into a little chamber
only just large enough to contain a bed, a chest of drawers, and a
toilette-table: and there he speedily extricated himself from the
feminine apparel, all of which he thrust pell-mell into the band-box
which his friend had pointed out to him for the purpose. He then
wrapped himself in Mr. Scales’s dressing-gown; and this being done, he
gave the good-natured Brother the necessary instructions how to proceed
with regard to the landlady and the tailor.
Having tied a string round the band-box, so as to carry it the more
conveniently, and likewise with a better appearance of negligent
ease, Mr. Scales now set out on his mission--previously enjoining
the captain to keep the door carefully locked until his return, and
mentioning a signal by which his knock at the door might be known, so
that the gallant officer should not incur the danger of admitting any
other person. The moment the martial gentleman was left to himself, he
advanced straight up to the cupboard, which he unceremoniously opened;
and, to his huge delight, perceived a bottle containing a fluid which
was unmistakeably of that alcoholic species so widely known under the
denomination of gin. The captain took a long draught of the raw spirit,
and, much refreshed, sate down to await his new friend’s return.
A quarter of an hour passed, during which he calculated the chances of
eventual escape from the bailiffs.
If they had not discovered the trick which was played them, before the
captain had entered the Charter House, there was every prospect in his
favour; because he felt assured that Mrs. Rudd, even if she had seen
him take refuge there, would not dare to betray him.
But if, on the other hand, they had ascertained the whole truth while
he was as yet outside the Charter House gates, then they had most
probably rushed to the windows and obtained a glimpse of his person in
the Square.
And yet, recurring to the chances that were favourable to him, he
reasoned that when the noise attendant upon knocking down the methodist
minister had reached the ears of the officers, some time would then be
lost in receiving explanations from that reverend gentleman, and in
vain attempts to open the door--until Mrs. Rudd’s return with the key;
and in the interim his place of concealment would have been gained, and
would remain unsuspected by the bailiffs.
On the other hand, once more, what if the officers had not waited
for Mrs. Rudd’s return at all, but had leapt out of the ground-floor
windows?
“Oh! bad luck to the pro and con!” ejaculated the captain aloud. “I’m
safe here--and that’s enough. For if the spalpeens had suspicted that I
_am_ here, they’d have been afther me long ago!”
Rising from his seat, he crept cautiously up to the window and took
a survey of the enclosures through which he had passed a short time
before; and this reconnoitring process was highly satisfactory. The old
Brothers were lounging about as he had just now beheld them; and not a
shadow of a sheriff’s-officer was to be seen.
Highly delighted by the hopeful assurances which the aspect of things
thus conveyed to his mind, Captain O’Blunderbuss paid another visit to
the cupboard, and regaled himself with another refreshing draught from
the gin-bottle--after which potation, he smacked his lips in approval
of the alcoholic beverage, and resumed his seat and his meditations.
The latter continued for another quarter of an hour; at the expiration
whereof the gallant gentleman paid his respects a third time to the
cupboard; and scarcely had he closed the door of that commodious
recess, when the concerted signal was given, announcing his friend’s
return.
As Mr. Scales entered the room, a glance showed the captain that his
friend had succeeded in his mission; for the red countenance wore a
triumphant smile, and the band-box had not come back empty.
“Be Jasus! and you’re a thrump!” exclaimed the gallant Irishman, as he
marked these indications of success. “But what news of them bastes of
the airth----”
“Oh! you’re all safe, my dear fellow,” interrupted Mr. Scales, wiping
the perspiration off his rubicund countenance. “The clothes are in the
box--the landlady is intimidated, and therefore in your interests--and
the bailiffs have got entirely on a wrong scent. In fact, they had left
the house before I got there: but there’s no doubt they’re waiting
about in the neighbourhood--and therefore it will be better for you to
remain here until dark, if you possibly can. I will give you a bit of
dinner--and may be a glass of grog----”
“Potheen--rale potheen!” ejaculated the captain, viewing with supreme
satisfaction the present prospect of affairs.
“Well--whiskey, if you prefer it,” said the obliging Mr. Scales. “At
all events we’ll have a jolly afternoon of it, and drink to our better
acquaintance.”
“Betther acquaintance!” cried the Irishman, who, in spite of his
adventurous kind of existence, possessed many of the truly generous
qualities of his much maligned and deeply injured fellow-countrymen;
“betther acquainted we can’t become, my frind: for when a man has done
all he could for another, and that other a tothal stranger to him, I
mane to say it makes them inthimate at once. And, be Jasus! Misther
Scales, if ye’ve an inimy in the whole wor-r-ld, tell me his name and
give me his address, and it’s Capthain O’Bluntherbuss that’ll be afther
paying him a morning visit, sinding up his car-r-d, and then skinning
him alive!”
Mr. Scales expressed his gratitude for these demonstrations of
friendship, but assured the gallant gentleman that he had no enemy whom
he wished to undergo the process of flaying at that particular time.
The captain now entered the little bed-room, and hastily equipped
himself in his own clothing--the breeches, which the good-natured
Brother had paid for at the tailor’s, being neatly mended: so that the
Irishman speedily re-appeared in the semi-military garb which became
him rather more suitably than the habiliments of Mrs. Rudd.