_(The GERMAN CROWN PRINCE and Fritz, his Valet.)_
_The Crown Prince (in bed and yawning)._ Is that you, Fritz?
_Fritz._ Yes, your Royal Highness. What uniform shall I lay out for his
Royal Highness?
_The C.P._ You can lay out the best I have--the one of the Death's Head
Hussars, with all my stars and medals. I am expecting an important
visit.
_Fritz (with a meaning smile)._ If I might venture so far, I would
suggest to his Royal Highness that he should wear the Trench uniform,
which I arranged with the bullet-holes and the mud-splashes. It creates
a greater effect, especially if the visitor be a lady.
_The C.P._ Fritz, you dog, how dare you? Very well, have it your own way
and let it be the Trench uniform.
_Fritz._ I am only anxious to promote his Royal Highness's interest in
every possible way.
_The C.P._ I know, I know. Only we shall have old HINDENBURG growling
and grunting and looking as black as a thundercloud. I cannot imagine
what my revered father sees in that old wooden effigy, whose only idea
of strategy is to retreat from strong positions. That, at any rate, is
not the fashion in which I have learnt war. I'm thoroughly tired of
hearing of all these HINDENBURG plans, which come to nothing.
_Fritz._ Your Royal Highness is, of course, right. But what I say to
myself is that the ALL-HIGHEST, your Royal Highness's most gracious
father, has in all this a deep-laid design to show conclusively that all
these HINDENBURG plans mean nothing, so that in the end true skill and
merit may have a chance, and the chief command may be placed in the only
hands that are fit to exercise it. Oh, yes, I know what I'm talking
about, and everyone I meet says the same.
_The C.P._ I have always felt that that must be so. No matter, a time
will come. By the way, Fritz, have you packed up the _Sèvres_
dinner-service?
_Fritz._ I have already packed six from as many different French and
Belgian houses, and have sent them to Berlin, according to your Royal
Highness's directions. Which does your Royal Highness refer to?
_The C.P._ I mean the one with the simple pattern of pink flowers and
the coat-of-arms.
_Fritz._ Yes, that I have packed like the rest and have sent off.
_The C.P._ And the silver dishes and the lace?
_Fritz._ Yes, they have all gone.
_The C.P._ Good. And the clocks?
_Fritz._ Yes, I did in every case what your Royal Highness ordered me to
do.
_The C.P._ And you packed them, I hope, with the greatest care?
_Fritz._ I did; nothing, I am certain, will suffer damage.
_The C.P._ Excellent. War is, no doubt, a rough and brutal affair, but
at least it cannot be said that we Prussians do not behave like
gentlemen.
_Fritz._ Your Royal Highness speaks, as always, the plain truth. How
different from the degenerate French and the intolerable English.
_The C.P._ Yes, Fritz; and now you can go. Stay; there was something I
wanted to ask you. Dear me, I am losing my memory. Ah! I have it. How is
my offensive getting on? Has any news come in from the _Chemin des
Dames_?
_Fritz._ Your Royal Highness's offensive has not advanced to any great
extent. The French last night recaptured all their positions and even
penetrated into ours.
_The C.P._ Did they? How very annoying. Somebody bungled, of course.
Well, well, I shall have to put it right when I have time. Have you
finished laying out my uniform? Yes. Then you can go.
* * * * *