I saw and heard him as I was going home the other evening. A big
telescope was pointed heavenward from the public square, and he
stood beside it and thoughtfully inquired,--
"Is it possible, gentlemen, that you do not care to view the
beautiful works of nature above the earth? Can it be true that men of
your intellectual appearance will sordidly cling to ten cents, rather
than take a look through this telescope and bring the beauties of
heaven within one and a half miles of your eyes?"
The appeal was too much for one young man to resist. He was a tall
young man, with a long face, high cheek bones, and an anxious look.
He looked at the ten cents and then at the telescope, hesitated for a
single moment, and then took his seat on the stool.
"Here is a young man who prefers to feast his soul with scientific
knowledge rather than become a sordid, grasping, avaricious
capitalist," remarked the astronomer, as he arranged the instrument.
"Fall back, you people who prefer the paltry sum of ten cents to a
view of the starry heavens, and give this noble young man plenty of
room!"
The noble young man removed his hat, placed his eye to the
instrument, a cloth was thrown over his head, and the astronomer
continued:--
"Behold the bright star of Venus! A sight of this star is worth a
thousand dollars to any man who prefers education to money." There
was an instant of deep silence, and then the young man exclaimed:--
"I say!"
I stood behind him, and knew that the telescope pointed at the fifth
storey of a building across the square, where a dance was in
progress.
"All people indulge in exclamations of admiration as they view the
beauties and mysteries of nature," remarked the astronomer. "Young
man, tell the crowd what you see."
"I see a feller hugging a girl!" was the prompt reply. "And if there
isn't a dozen of them!"
"And yet," continued the astronomer, "there are sordid wretches in
this crowd who hang to ten cents in preference to observing such
sights as these in ethereal space. Venus is millions of miles away,
and yet by means of this telescope and by paying ten cents this
intellectual young man is enabled to observe the inhabitants of that
far-off world hugging each other just as natural as they do in this!"
The instrument was wheeled around to bear on the tower of the
engine-house some distance away, and the astronomer, continued:--
"Behold the beauties and the wonders of Saturn! This star, to the
naked eye, appears no larger than a pin's point, and yet for the
paltry sum of ten cents this noble young man is placed within one
mile of it!"
"Well, this beats all!" murmured the young man, as he slapped his
leg.
"Tell me what you see, my friend."
"I see two fellows in a small room, smoking cigars and playing
chess!" was the prompt reply.
"Saturn is 86,000,000 of miles from this town," continued the
astronomer, "and yet the insignificant sum of ten cents has enabled
this progressive young man to learn for himself that the celestial
beings enjoy themselves pretty much as we do in this world. I venture
to say that there is not a man in this crowd who ever knew before
that the inhabitants of Saturn knew anything about chess or cigars."
Once more he wheeled the instrument round. This time it got the range
of the upper storey of a tenement-house on the hill The young man had
scarcely taken a glance through the tube, when he yelled out:--
"Great guns! But what planet is this?"
"You are now looking at Uranus," replied the professor. "Uranus is
97,502,304 miles distant from the earth, and yet I warrant that it
doesn't appear over eighty rods away to you. Will you be kind enough,
my friend, to tell this crowd what you see?"
"Give it to him! That's it! Go it old woman!" shouted the young man,
slapping one leg and then the other.
"Speak up, my friend. What do you see?"
"By jove! she's got him by the hair now! Why, she'll beat him
hollow!"
"Will you be kind enough, my friend, to allay the curiosity of your
friends?"
"Whoop! that's it; now she's got him. Toughest fight I ever saw!"
cried the young man as he moved back and slapped his thigh.
The professor covered up the instrument slowly and carefully, picked
up and unlocked a satchel which had been lying near his feet, and
then softly said:--
"Gentlemen, we will pause here for a moment. When a man tells you
after this that the planet of Saturn is not inhabited, tell him that
you know better, that it is not only inhabited, but that the married
couples up there have family fights the same as on this mundane
sphere. In about ten minutes I will be ready again to explain the
wonders and beauties of the sparkling heavens to such of you as
prefer a million dollars' worth of scientific knowledge to ten cents
in vile dross. Meanwhile permit me to call your attention to my
celebrated toothache drops, the only perfect remedy yet invented for
aching teeth."