|A SQUASH-NOSED scientist from away up the creek, asks, "What is
literature!" Cast your eye over these logic-imbued columns, you
sun-dried savant from the remote precincts. Drink at the never-failing
Boomerang springs of forgotten lore, you dropsical wart of a false
and erroneous civilization. Read our "Address to the Duke of Stinking
Water," or the "Ode to the Busted Snoot of a Shattered Venus DeMilo," if
you want to fill up your thirsty soul with high-priced literature. Don't
go around hungering for literary pie while your eyes are closed and your
capacious ears are filled with bales of hay.