|N. W. P., writes:--"I am a young man twenty-five years old. I am in
love with a young lady of seventeen. Her mind being very different
from mine, I have not told her of my love, nor asked to call on her. I
thought her so giddy that she did not want any steady company. She is
a great lover of amusement. She is a perfect lady in her deportment,
although she is more like a child of fourteen than a young lady of
seventeen. I think she is very pretty, but she seems to enjoy flirting
to the greatest extent. One evening at a party I asked her to promenade
with me, and she would not do it. I then asked her to allow me to bring
her refreshments, which she would not do. I then asked her to let me
take her home when she was ready to go, and the answer was, 'No, I will
not do any such thing,' and turning round she left me. I have met her
several times since. She always bows to me. Everywhere she meets me
she recognizes me pleasantly. How, did I do wrong in asking her those
privileges at the party, I having no introduction to her? I am still in
love with her."
After she had refused to promenade with you, and had declined to permit
you to bring her refreshments, it was pressing matters rather too far
for you to ask her to allow you to accompany her home "whenever she was
ready to go." Still, as she treats you kindly whenever you meet, it is
evident that you did not offend her very deeply. Perhaps she sees that
you love her, and does not wish to discourage you.
You were, no doubt, a little previous in trying to get acquainted with
the young lady. She may be giddy, but she has just about sized you up
in shape, and no doubt, if you keep on trying to love her without her
knowledge or consent, she will hit you with something, and put a Swiss
sunset over your eye. Do not yearn to win her affections all at once.
Give her twenty or thirty years in which to see your merits. You will
have more to entitle you to her respect by that time, no doubt. During
that time you may rise to be president and win a deathless name.
The main thing you have to look out for now, however, is to restrain
yourself from marrying people who do not want to marry you. That style
of freshness will, in thirty or forty years, wear away. If it does not,
probably the vigorous big brother of some young lady of seventeen, will
consign you to the silent tomb. Do not try to promenade with a young
lady unless she gives her consent. Do not marry anyone against her
wishes. Give the girl a chance. She will appreciate it, and even though
she may not marry you, she will permit you to sit on the fence and
watch her when she goes to marry some one else. Do not be despondent.
Be courageous, and some day, perhaps, you will get there. At present the
horizon is a little bit foggy.
As you say, she may be so giddy that she doesn't want steady company.
There is a glimmer of hope in that. She may be waiting till she gets
over the agony and annoyance of teething before she looks seriously into
the matters of matrimony. If that should turn out to be the case we are
not surprised. Give her a chance to grow up, and in the meantime, go and
learn the organ grinder's profession and fix yourself so that you can
provide for a family. Sometimes a girl only seventeen years old is able
to discern that a young intellectual giant like you is not going to make
a dazzling success of life as a husband. Brace up and try to forget your
sorrow, N. W. P., and you may be happy yet.