WHAT IT COSTS TO HAVE ONE’S WAY.
Space forbids the historian to attempt any description of the
difficulties which Mary had to encounter in her benevolent undertaking.
By Frank’s urgent desire,--for his courage had altogether failed
him,--nothing was said on the subject till he was gone; and the
consequence was a very uncomfortable day, in which even Mrs. Renton
perceived that there was something more going on than was revealed to
her. ‘What are you always talking to Frank about?’ she said, pettishly.
‘I never turn my head but I find you whispering, or telegraphing, or
something. If there is anything I ought to know, let me know it.’
‘Wait a little,--only wait a little, dear godmamma,’ Mary answered,
pleading; and then, when the hero was gone, the tale was told.
‘Going to India,--going to be married!’ said Mrs. Renton, in her
bewilderment; ‘but why should he go to India if he marries? Of course he
will be provided for if he makes up his mind to that. Or why should he
marry if he goes to India?--one thing is bad enough. Is he out of his
senses? Fifty thousand pounds will give them, at least, two thousand
a-year.’
‘But, godmamma, you are making a mistake,’ said Mary. ‘It is not Miss
Rich Frank is going to marry. It is a young lady,--whom he met at
Richmont.’
‘Not Miss Rich!’ said Mrs. Renton. ‘Another girl! The boy must be mad to
go on making acquaintance with such people. And how much has she?’ the
mother added, with plaintive submission to a hard fate, folding her
patient hands.
Mary, thus driven to the last admission of all, grew quite pale, but
made a brave stand for her client. ‘Oh, godmamma,’ she cried, ‘you must
not be hard upon him. He is so young; and isn’t it better he should
marry her because he loves her than because she is rich? She has not a
penny, he says.’
When this awful revelation was made, Mrs. Renton was excited to the
length of positive passion. Words failed her at first. Her eyes, though
they were worn-out eyes, retaining little lustre, flashed fire. Her
faded cheeks grew red. She was inarticulate in her rage and indignation.
It was Mary who received the first brunt of the onslaught, for
encouraging a foolish boy in such nonsense, and for taking it upon her
to defend him against all who wished him well. You would have thought
it was Mary who had inspired him with this mad fancy, put it in his
head, encouraged him in it, urged him to commit it, and compromise
himself in the face of the strenuous, steady, invariable opposition of
‘all who wished him well.’ The poor lady made herself quite ill with
indignation, and had to be taken to bed, and comforted with more tonics
and arrowroot than ever. She lay there moaning all the evening, refusing
to allow poor Mary to read to her, or to perform any of her usual
ministrations. If it had not been that Frank had left his boat, having
himself returned to Royalborough by the railroad, and thus afforded Mary
the opportunity of getting easily across the river, and running all the
way to the Cottage to be comforted by her mother for half-an-hour before
returning to her charge, I don’t know what would have become of her.
Mrs. Westbury did not look the sort of woman to seek comfort from, but
she was Mary’s mother, which makes all the difference, and she had never
got over her compunction about her nephews. This trial they were all
going through was her doing, and though she sympathised much more with
her sister-in-law than with Frank in the present case, she was not
without a certain pity for the boy. ‘He must be mad,’ she said; ‘but if
it can’t be put a stop to, it must be put up with; and your aunt will
have got a little used to it by to-morrow.’ Thus comforted Mary went
back, not without a little wondering comparison in her own mind between
the people who could do rash things and have their will, and those who
had ‘to put up with’ everything that might chance to come in their way,
and never had it in their power to please themselves. She was a very
good girl, full of womanly kindness and charity; but it is not to be
supposed that close attendance upon a weariful invalid like her aunt,
not ill enough to move any depth of sympathy, but requiring perpetual
_pettis soins_, and endless consideration in every detail of life, was a
kind of existence to be chosen by a lively girl of twenty. Poor Mary was
the scapegoat and ransom for the sins of her family. The three ‘Renton
boys’ were all going away on their own courses, comforting themselves
about their mother,--when they thought of her at all,--by the reflection
that Mary was with her. They could go away, but Mary could not budge. It
was rather hard, when you came to think of it. And that Frank, not three
months older than herself, should marry and set out in life, and go
blithely off to all the novelty and all the brightness, and no one have
any power to stop him; while she stayed at home, making excuses for him,
and doing duty for all three! Mary was a comfortable kind of young
woman, and went into no hysterics over her fate; neither did she rave to
herself about the awful blank of routine and the want of excitement in
her life. But she did feel a little envy of Frank, and pity for herself,
as she glided across the silvery river in the summer twilight. Doing
must be a pleasanter thing than ‘putting up with,’ even to a
philosophical mind.
The next day Mrs. Renton had got a little used to it. She exerted
herself to the unusual extent of writing Frank a letter, conjuring him
by all his gods to repent ere it was too late, and to return to the
paths of common sense and discretion; and when she had done this, she
called Mary to her, and asked a hundred questions about ‘the girl.’ ‘Her
mother was one of Laurie’s great friends,’ Mary said, trying to make the
best of it.
‘All the doubtful people one knows of seem to be Laurie’s friends,’ said
his mother, pathetically. And thus the crisis was over at Renton, for
the moment at least.
At Richmont, however, affairs took a much more serious turn when the
whole truth was known. Nelly’s intimation that Frank was going to India
had not very much affected that sanguine household. ‘It will bring
things to a point,’ Mrs. Rich had said to her husband. ‘He has done it
in some little spirit of independence, not to be obliged to his wife,
you know; but if he comes to an understanding with Nelly, we’ll make him
exchange again.’
‘Ah! if he comes to an understanding with Nelly. But she shall never go
to India with him,’ said the father. ‘No young fellow shall blow hot
and cold with my daughter. I’d have done with him at once.’
‘Nonsense! It has been some little tiff between them,’ said the more
genial woman. And even Nelly got by degrees to believe that it was not
yet finally over. But when the whole truth was whispered at
Richmont,--as it soon was by one of the officers who had learned the
fact, no one knew how,--the family in general became frantic. Nelly kept
her temper outwardly at least, and held her tongue, having some regard
for her own dignity; but the father and mother were wild with rage.
People whom they had patronised so liberally!--a woman to whom they had
just given such a commission! When this thought occurred to them, they
exchanged glances. Next day, without saying a word to any one, Mr. and
Mrs. Rich went up to town. They bore no external signs of passion to the
ordinary eye, but in their hearts they were breathing fire and flame
against every Renton, every Severn, every creature even distantly
connected with either. There was very little conversation between the
two indignant parents as they made their way solemnly to Fitzroy Square.
A certain judicial silence, and stern restraint of all the lighter
manifestations of feeling, alone marked the importance of their mission.
They were shown up to Mrs. Severn’s studio by their own request,--having
peremptorily refused any such half-way ground as the drawing-room, as
if they had come to treat with their equals. The workshop of the woman
who was, as it were, in their employment, working to their order, was
the more appropriate place.
They found the padrona standing at her work with looks very different
from her usual aspect. Something spiritless and worn was in the very
attitude of her arm, in the fall of her gown, and dressing of her hair.
It was not that she was less neat, less carefully dressed, less busy.
But the woman was in such unity with herself, that her unusual
despondency communicated itself to every detail about her. She had no
heart for Cinderella,--the little loving figure triumphing in its new
life,--the sour, elder women standing by who were grudging,--what were
they grudging? The child’s happiness, or her triumph, or the loss of
her? She had not even heart enough to rouse her to the heights of
artist-passion, and to work in her own heart into the picture, as
doubtless she would yet do, some time when all was over. She stood with
her sketches hung round the walls, and the whole room full of this
commission of her rich patron,--the commission which made her living
quite secure and above the reach of chance, and her mind easy for the
year,--but listless, spiritless, mechanical, her heart gone out of her
life.
Mrs. Severn was so much pre-occupied that she did not even notice, what
at another time she would have been so ready to notice,--the changed
tone of the Riches as they came in. Luckily for her own comfort, she had
never heard that there was ‘anything between’ Nelly Rich and Frank
Renton. Such a reason for having nothing to say to him would have been
very welcome to the padrona. But she could not refuse to have anything
to say to him without breaking her child’s heart; and, accordingly what
did it matter? It was to Alice, not to him, that she had yielded.
Therefore, she received very much as a matter of course Mrs. Rich’s
pretended congratulations. ‘We hear that great things have been
happening with you,’ she said. ‘I am sure I had no idea, when Alice was
at Richmont, that she was such an advanced young lady. I suppose it was
going on then, though we knew nothing about it.’
‘I don’t know,’ said the padrona. ‘I cannot give you any information. It
is not a pleasant subject to me; but I don’t suppose it was going on
then.’
‘Not a pleasant subject!’ cried Mrs. Rich, with not unjustifiable
virulence. ‘Oh, my dear Mrs. Severn, you must not tell me that. We all
know what a mother feels when she has succeeded in securing a charming
_parti_ like Mr. Frank Renton for her favourite child.’
‘Is he so?’ said the padrona. ‘Indeed, I should not have thought it. But
I am not in charity with Mr. Frank Renton. I wish we had never seen
him. I am like Cinderella’s sisters,’ she said, with an attempt at a
smile;--‘I am spiteful;’ and there was a something in the droop and
languor of her aspect which began to melt the hearts of the avengers.
She looked so unlike herself.
‘Nay, nay,’ said Mrs. Severn’s patron. ‘Of course it is a fine thing for
you to have your daughter settled so soon. And a fine thing for her
too,--a girl without any fortune. Not many men, I can tell you, would
have been so rash.’
‘Then I wish Mr. Frank Renton had not been so rash,’ cried the padrona,
with rising spirit. ‘I would have thanked him on my knees had he kept
away from this house. I cannot see any good in it. Forgive me! I have no
right to trouble you with my vexations. I will show you my sketches,
which are more to the purpose.’
‘Yes,’ said Mr. Rich, with hesitation. ‘It was principally about
them,--we came to speak.’
The padrona, in her unsuspiciousness, became half apologetic. ‘I should
have written to ask you to come and see them,’ she said; ‘but this
business has put everything else out of my mind;’ and she began to
collect her drawings in their different stages, and to rouse herself up,
and show her work, as became her. The avengers, meanwhile, looked at
each other, recruiting their failing courage from each other’s eyes.
‘Pray don’t give yourself any trouble,’ said Mr. Rich. ‘The fact is,
Mrs. Severn,--I am very sorry,--my wife and I have been talking things
over, and she,--I,--I mean we,--are not quite sure----. What I would say
is, that if you could make a better bargain with any one,--a dealer,
perhaps, or any of your private friends,--for these pictures,--why, you
know I would not stand in your way.’
‘A better bargain!’ said the padrona in amaze, not perceiving in the
least what he meant; ‘but I never should dream of a better bargain. I am
painting the pictures for you.’
‘Yes; I know there was some understanding of that kind,’ said the uneasy
millionnaire. ‘Some sort of arrangement was proposed,--but, you know,
circumstances alter cases. I,--I don’t see,--and neither does my
wife,--that we can go on with that arrangement now.’
The padrona had been standing by her great portfolio, taking some
drawings out of it. She stood there still, motionless, as if she were
paralysed. Every tinge of colour left her face; her eyes gazed out at
them for one moment blankly, with a sudden pang which made itself
somehow dimly apparent, though she did not say a word. It was a cruel
blow to her. For a moment she could not speak, or even move, in the
extremity of her astonishment. Before the echo of these extraordinary
words had died in her ear, Mrs. Severn’s rapid mind had run over in a
moment all there would be to do in the dreadful year which was
coming,--Alice’s outfit, and the marriage which was such pain to think
of, but which, nevertheless, must be planned and provided for, so that
her child should have all due honour. As she stood and gazed at the two
faces which were looking at her, it was all she could do to keep down
two bitter tears that came to her eyes.
‘I thought it was more than an arrangement,’ she said; ‘perhaps because
it was of more importance to me than it was to you. I thought it was a
bargain. The price was settled, you know, and everything.’
‘Yes, oh yes,’ said both together. ‘I know there was a great deal said.’
‘Mr. Rich was in a buying humour that day,’ said the wife. ‘But
circumstances alter cases,’ said the husband. They had done their work
more completely than they meant to do it; but yet they were not going to
give in.
Mrs. Severn bowed her head. She could not speak. It was the cruellest
aggravation of all her other troubles! ‘If that is the case,’ she said,
after a long pause, ‘of course I must arrange otherwise;’ and then she
came to a dead stop, turning over the drawings unconsciously with her
agitated hands.
‘Oh, you will find no difficulty about it,’ said Mr. Rich, rubbing his
hands; ‘you are so well known. There is Lambert will take as many of
your pictures as you can give him, and there is that man in
Manchester----’
‘Thanks,’ said the padrona. ‘I shall find a purchaser, I hope.’ And then
there was a dead silence; and the two avengers felt inclined to drop
through the floor and hide themselves. They were not cruel. They had
taken no thought of what they were doing, and when they perceived the
reality of it, could have bitten out their tongues for saying such
words. And yet what were they to do? They could not unsay what they had
that moment said.
As for Mrs. Severn, she was too much occupied with her own thoughts to
exert herself to set at their ease the dealers of so cruel a blow. But
yet, after a while, the instinct of courtesy, which is so strong in some
natures, came to the surface. Those two tears which had wanted to come
had been reabsorbed somehow, and she gave herself a little shake; and,
with a curious smile about her mouth, went forward to the two
embarrassed, uncomfortable people. ‘Perhaps you will look at the picture
all the same, and tell me if you like it,’ she said. And then the
startled pair, feeling very small and very angry with her for her
magnanimity, made a few steps forward, huddled together for mutual
support, and gazed in grave silence at Cinderella. She set it in the
best light for them, and showed them how much was complete, and how much
was still to do. The arrow they had sent at her was still sticking,
quivering, in her heart. And she had not time to pluck it out, but she
had time to be very civil, and smile upon the discomfited pair. Perhaps
she overdid it just a little; but to such a brave spirit, confronting
all the world, as it were, and standing alone in the fight, it is
difficult to keep a certain glimmer of contempt out of the lofty
forgiveness which it awards to its enemies. There was a touch of scorn
in the padrona’s smile. But when Mr. and Mrs. Rich had crept down-stairs
to their carriage, it is impossible to describe the state of downfall in
which they found themselves. ‘She did not feel it a bit,’ said Mrs.
Rich, trying to console herself. ‘And she has many friends among the
dealers,’ said the millionnaire, a little ruefully. ‘I shouldn’t wonder
if some fool gave a hundred or two more for the series,--and my idea!’
he added, with a certain indignation. And they went home very
uncomfortable. He might be free to withdraw from his bargain, according
to the letter of the law, but he could not charge his fee-rent for the
idea, having rejected the pictures in which it was to be carried out.
When she had seen them safely out, the padrona dropped softly into her
big chair, and hid her face in her hands. Alice’s outfit, and the
wedding, and all the year’s expenses, which she had thought safely
provided for, and her little triumph in being free of the dealers for
once,--they were all gone! It was not such a moving spectacle, perhaps,
as if she had been a young girl weeping for her lover. But those two
tears that forced themselves out, womanish, against her clasped hands,
what concentrated pain was in them! They were more bitter than many a
summer torrent out of younger eyes. And then she sprang to her feet, and
snatched at her palette, and went to work with flaming cheeks and a
headache, and all her old fire in her eyes. She had been listless enough
before, but she was not listless now.
When Nelly Rich, however, heard of this wonderful proceeding, their
grand house became too hot to hold the unhappy pair. ‘Withdraw your
commission! for what reason, in heaven’s name?’ cried Nelly, blazing at
them in thunder and lightning. The girl was half crazy with shame and
disgust. She brought her father almost to his knees before the day was
over, and flew to London, post haste, by herself, in spite of
everybody’s remonstrances, to make up the matter. ‘Papa had gone out of
his senses, I suppose,’ she said, dissembling her fury, to Mrs. Severn.
‘Padrona mia, for the sake of old times, you will not mind? He is so
sorry. They were both mad, I suppose.’ If Mrs. Severn had followed her
first impulse, she would have held by the dealers, who were not liable
to such madness; but she was her children’s mother, and had the bread
and butter to think of, and was not able to afford such luxuries as
revenge or pride. So that nobody was the worse for the patron’s
ill-temper except himself; and two people were the better,--to wit,
Nelly and Cinderella, the latter of whom had been undoubtedly
languishing under the weight of Mrs. Severn’s heavy heart, until this
violent pinch of apparent evil fortune came to sting her into life.
As for Nelly, setting her foot into the studio did her good. The smell
of the pigments, and the sight of the rubbish about,--all the sketches,
and unused bits of canvas, and bursting portfolios, were balm to the
impetuous but not ungenerous girl. ‘I don’t want to see Alice,’ she
said; ‘it was sly of her not to tell me. No, I don’t want to see her;
but she is very happy, I suppose;’ and it was not possible that this
could be said without a certain bitterness, considering all that had
come and gone.
‘Nelly dear, don’t speak of it,’ said the padrona, who was ignorant of
all the complications; and she went and gave the little messenger of
consolation a kiss, and suffered herself to shed a tear or two out of
her full heart. ‘I thought it would have killed me at first,’ she said,
going back to her work with trembling hands. And the hand that shook so
made a dreadful business of Cinderella’s white dress, and then the
mother put away her tools, and sat down and cried. Nelly had been poor
Severn’s pupil in the old, old days, and the sight of her brought
nothing but softening thoughts to the padrona’s mind; and the fountain
was opened that she kept so bravely shut. As for Nelly herself, every
moment in that room was good for her. She cried too, and washed all her
bitterness away in those tears, and turned Frank Renton and all his
misdoings courageously out of her imagination. I doubt whether he had
ever got so far as her heart.
‘I only want you to tell me one thing,’ she said, somewhat fiercely, to
Alice, who came in, all unconscious, after the tears were dried, glad
and wondering. ‘Was it going on when you were at Richmont?’
‘It?--what?’ said simple Alice, and then the child’s ready blush covered
her face. ‘Oh, no, no! It never came on at all; it came into our minds
in a moment, when we knew he was going away.’
And Nelly Rich was so magnanimous as to kiss Alice too.
‘Tell him I did it,--and that I bear no malice,’ she said, with a laugh;
and then went away with Miss Hadley, who saw her safely to the railway
station, and made the story still more plain to her. The governess
thought it strange of Mrs. Rich to permit her daughter to run about
alone in this way, but reflected that it might be one of the strange
customs of ‘those sort of people,’ and did her duty by the young lady,
putting her under the care of the guard, and keeping an eye on the
carriage till the train started. The journey might be slightly
indecorous, but it did more good than any tonic in the world.
And so it came about that in September Frank Renton sailed from
Southampton to join his regiment, with his young wife,--the only one of
the brothers who made anything like a practical conclusion to the little
romance of their beginning. Though he had hesitated for some time as to
whether he should follow interest or inclination, Frank was not the sort
of man, when his choice was made, to care very much what he might tread
upon in his way. He would have given no one pain willingly, but to have
his way was the most important matter, and he had it accordingly. They
were a couple of babies to set forth thus together, to face the
world,--one-and-twenty and sixteen! but their very youth kept them from
any consciousness of the gravity of the undertaking. They went forth
with the daring ignorance of two children, hand in hand. There were
several hearts that ached over the parting, and one had almost broke in
the effort. And the bride shed a few soft tears, and the bridegroom
kissed his hand to the people who stayed behind; and thus the last of
the three Rentons carried out his father’s will, and launched himself
upon the world.