said again, "Your majesty must permit me to repeat once more that
it is time to rise to morning prayer, unless you choose to let it
pass; the sun is just rising, and you never neglect this duty."
"I am mistaken," said Abou Hassan immediately, "I am not asleep,
but awake; for those who sleep do not hear, and I hear somebody
speak to me;" then opening his eyes again, he saw plainly by
broad day-light, what he had seen but indistinctly before; and
started up, with a smiling countenance, like a man overjoyed at
sudden promotion. The caliph, from his recess, penetrated his
thoughts with great delight.
The young ladies of the palace now prostrated themselves with
their faces to the ground before Abou Hassan, and those who had
instruments of music in their hands wished him a good morrow, by
a concert of soft flutes, hautboys, theorboes, and other
harmonious instruments, with which he was enchanted, and in such
an ecstacy, that he knew not whether he was himself; but
reverting to his first idea, he still doubted whether what he saw
and heard was a dream or reality. He clapped his hands before his
eyes, and lowering his head, said to himself, "What means all
this? Where am I? and to whom does this palace belong? What can
these eunuchs, handsome well-dressed officers, beautiful ladies,
and musicians mean: How is it possible for me to distinguish
whether I am in my right senses or in a dream?"
When he took his hands from his eyes, opened them, and lifted up
his head, the sun shone full in at the chamber window; and at
that instant Mesrour, the chief of the eunuchs, came in,
prostrated himself before Abou Hassan, and said, "Commander of
the faithful, your majesty will excuse me for representing to
you, that you used not to rise so late, and that the time of
prayer is over. If your majesty has not had a bad night, it is
time to ascend your throne and hold a council as usual; all your
generals, governors, and other great officers of state, wait your
presence in the council-hall."
At this discourse, Abou Hassan was persuaded that he was neither
asleep nor in a dream; but at the same time was not less
embarrassed and confused under his uncertainty what steps to
take: at last, looking earnestly at Mesrour, he said to him in a
serious tone, "Whom is it you speak to, and call the commander of
the faithful? I do not know you, and you must mistake me for
somebody else."
Any person but Mesrour would have been puzzled at these questions
of Abou Hassan; but he had been so well instructed by the caliph,
that he played his part admirably. "My imperial lord and master,"
said he, "your majesty only speaks thus to try me. Is not your
majesty the commander of the faithful, monarch of the world from
east to west, and vicar on earth to the prophet sent of God?
Mesrour, your poor slave, has not forgotten you, after so many
years that he has had the honour and happiness to serve and pay
his respects to your majesty. He would think himself the most
unhappy of men, if he has incurred your displeasure, and begs of
you most humbly to remove his fears; but had rather suppose that
you have been disturbed by some troublesome dream."
Abou Hassan burst out laughing at these words, and fell backwards
upon the bolster, which pleased the caliph so much that he would
have laughed as loud himself, if he had not been afraid of
putting a stop too soon to the pleasant scene he had promised
himself.
Abou Hassan, when he had tired himself with laughing, sat up
again, and speaking to a little eunuch that stood by him, black
as Mesrour, said, "Hark ye, tell me whom I am?" "Sir," answered
the little boy, modestly, "your majesty is the commander of the
believers, and God's vicar on earth." "You are a little liar,
black face," said Abou Hassan. Then he called the lady that stood
nearest to him; "Come hither, fair one," said he, holding out his
hand, "bite the end of my finger, that I may feel whether I am
asleep or awake."
The lady, who knew the caliph saw all that passed, was overjoyed
to have an opportunity of strewing her power of diverting him,
went with a grave countenance, and putting his finger between her
teeth, bit it so hard that she put him to violent pain. Snatching
his hand quickly back again, he said, "I find I am awake and not
asleep. But by what miracle am I become caliph in a night's time!
this is certainly the most strange and surprising event in the
world!" Then addressing himself to the same lady, he said, "I
conjure you, by the protection of God, in whom you trust as well
as I, not to hide the truth from me; am I really the commander of
the faithful?" "It is so true," answered the lady, "that we who
are your slaves are amazed to find that you will not believe
yourself to be so." "You are a deceiver," replied Abou Hassan: "I
know very well who I am."
As the chief of the eunuchs perceived that Abou Hassan now wished
to rise, he offered him his hand, and helped him to get out of
bed. No sooner were his feet set on the floor, than the chamber
rang with the repeated acclamations of the officers and ladies,
who cried out all together, "Commander of the faithful, God give
your majesty a good day." "O heaven!" cried Abou Hassan, "what a
strange thing this is! Last night I was Abou Hassan, and this
morning I am the commander of the believers! I cannot comprehend
this sudden and surprising change." Presently some of the
officers began to dress him; and when they had done, Mesrour led
him through all the eunuchs and ladies, who were ranged on both
sides, quite to the council chamber door, which was opened by one
of the officers. Mesrour walked before him to the foot of the
throne, where he stopped, and putting one hand under one arm,
while another officer who followed did the same by the other,
they helped him to ascend the throne. Abou Hassan sat down amidst
the acclamations of the officers, who wished him all happiness
and prosperity, and turning to the right and left he saw the
officers of the guards ranged in order, and making a fine
appearance.
The caliph in the mean time came out of the closet, and went into
another, which looked into the hall, from whence he could see and
hear all that passed in council, where his grand vizier presided
in his place. What pleased him highly, was to see Abou Hassan
fill his throne with almost as much gravity as himself.
As soon as Abou Hassan had seated himself, the grand vizier
prostrated himself at the foot of the throne, and rising, said,
"Commander of the faithful, God shower down blessings on your
majesty in this life, receive you into his paradise in the other
world, and confound your enemies."
Abou Hassan, after all that had happened that morning, at these
words of the grand vizier, never doubted but that he was caliph,
as he wished to be; and without examining any farther, how or by
what adventure, or sudden change of fortune, he had become so,
immediately began to exercise his power, and looking very gravely
at the vizier, asked him what he had to say? "Commander of the
faithful," replied the grand vizier, "the emirs, Vizier, and
other officers of your council, wait without till your majesty
gives them leave to pay their accustomed respects." Abou Hassan
ordered the door to be opened, and the grand vizier addressing
himself to the officers in waiting, said, "Chief of the door-
keepers, the commander of the faithful orders you to do your
duty."
When the door was opened, the viziers, emirs, and principal
officers of the court, all dressed magnificently in their habits
of ceremony, went in their order to the foot of the throne, paid
their respects to Abou Hassan; and bowing their heads down to the
carpet, saluted him with the title of commander of the faithful,
according to the instructions of the grand vizier, and afterwards
took their seats.
When this ceremony was over, and they were all placed, there was
a profound silence. The grand vizier always standing before the
throne, began according to the order of papers in his hand to
make his report of affairs, which at that time were of very
little consequence. Nevertheless, the caliph could not but admire
how Abou Hassan acquitted himself in his exalted station without
the least hesitation or embarrassment, and decided well in all
matters, as his own good sense suggested. But before the grand
vizier had finished his report, Abou Hassan perceived the judge
of the police, whom he knew by sight, sitting in his place.
"Stop," said he, to the grand vizier, interrupting him; "I have
an order of consequence to give to the judge of the police." The
judge of the police perceiving that Abou Hassan looked at him,
and hearing his name mentioned, arose from his seat, and went
gravely to the foot of the throne, where he prostrated himself
with his face to the ground. "Judge of the police," said Abou
Hassan, "go immediately to such a quarter, where you will find a
mosque, seize the imaum and four old grey beards, give each of
the old men a hundred bastinadoes, and the imaum four hundred.
After that, mount them all five, clothed in rags, on camels, with
their faces to the tails, and lead them through the whole city,
with a crier before them, who shall proclaim with a loud voice,
This is the punishment of all those who trouble their heads with
other people's affairs, make it their business to create
disturbances and misunderstandings in families in their
neighbourhood, and do them all the mischief in their power.' My
intention is also, that you enjoin them to leave that quarter,
and never to set foot in it more: and while your lieutenant is
conducting them through the town, return, and give me an account
of the execution of my orders." The judge of the police laid his
hand upon his head, to shew his obedience, and prostrating
himself a second time retired to execute the mandate.
The caliph was highly pleased at the firmness with which this
order was given, and perceived that Abou Hassan was resolved not
to lose the opportunity of punishing the imaum and the other four
old hypocrites of his quarter. In the mean time the grand vizier
went on with his report, and had just finished, when the judge of
the police came back from executing his commission. He approached
the throne with the usual ceremony, and said, "Commander of the
faithful, I found the imaum and his four companions in the
mosque, which your majesty pointed out; and as a proof that I
have punctually obeyed your commands, I have brought an
instrument signed by the principal inhabitants of the ward." At
the same time he pulled a paper out of his bosom, and presented
it to the pretended caliph.
Abou Hassan took the paper, and reading it over cautiously with
the names of the witnesses, who were all people he knew, said to
the judge of the police, smiling, "It is well; I am satisfied;
return to your seat." "These old hypocrites," said he to himself,
with an air of satisfaction "who thought fit to censure my
actions, and find fault with my entertaining honest people,
deserved this punishment." The caliph all the time penetrated his
thoughts, and felt inconceivable delight at his frolic.
Abou Hassan, then addressing himself to the grand vizier, said,
"Go to the high treasurer for a purse of a thousand pieces of
gold, and carry it to the mother of one Abou Hassan, who is known
by the name of the debauchee; she lives in the same quarter to
which I sent the judge of the police. Go, and return
immediately."
The grand vizier, after laying his hand upon his head, and
prostrating himself before the throne, went to the high
treasurer, who gave him the money, which he ordered a slave to
take, and to follow him to Abou Hassan's mother, to whom he gave
it, saying only, "The caliph makes you this present." She
received it with the greatest surprise imaginable.
During the grand vizier's absence, the judge of the police made
the usual report of his office, which lasted till the vizier
returned. As soon as he came into the council-chamber, and had
assured Abou Hassan that he had executed his orders, Mesrour, the
chief of the eunuchs, made a sign to the viziers, the emirs, and
other officers, that the council was over, and that they might
all retire; which they did, by making the same prostration at the
foot of the throne as when they entered.
Abou Hassan descended from the caliph's throne, and Mesrour went
before him, to shew him the way into an inner apartment, where
there was a table spread; several eunuchs ran to tell the
musicians that the sham caliph was coming, when they immediately
began a concert of vocal and instrumental music, with which Abou
Hassan was so charmed and transported, that he could not tell
what to think of all he saw and heard. "If this is a dream," said
he, "it is a long one. But certainly," continued he, "it is no
dream; for I can see and feel, walk and hear, and argue
reasonably; whatever it is, I trust in God; I cannot but believe
that I am the commander of the faithful, for no other person
could live in this splendour. The honour and respect that has
been strewn me, and the obedience paid to my commands, are
sufficient proofs of my exaltation."
In short, Abou Hassan took it for granted that he was the
commander of the faithful; but was still more convinced of it
when he entered a magnificent and spacious hall, which was finely
painted with the brightest colours intermixed with gold. Seven
bands of female musicians, more beautiful than the others, were
placed round the hall, and as many gold chandeliers hung from the
ceiling, which was painted with blue and gold, intermixed with
wonderful effect. In the middle of the hall was spread a table
covered with massive gold plates and dishes, which scented the
apartment with the spices and amber wherewith the meat was
seasoned; and seven young and most beautiful ladies, dressed in
the richest habits of the most vivid colours, stood round this
table, each with a fan in her hand, to fan Abou Hassan when at
dinner.
If ever mortal was charmed, Abou Hassan was when he entered this
stately hall. At every step he took, he could not help stopping
to contemplate at leisure all the wonders that regaled his eyes,
and turned first to one side, and then to the other; which gave
the caliph, who viewed him with attention, very great pleasure.
At last he sat down at the table, and presently all the ladies
began to fan the new caliph. He looked first at one, then at
another, and admired the grace with which they acquitted
themselves. He told them with a smile, that he believed one of
them was enough to give him all the air he wanted, and would have
six of the ladies sit at table with him, three on his right hand,
and three on his left; and he placed them so, that as the table
was round, which way soever he turned, his eyes might be saluted
with agreeable objects.
The six ladies obeyed; and Abou Hassan taking notice, that out of
respect they did not eat, helped them himself, and invited them
to eat in the most pressing and obliging terms. Afterwards he
asked their names, which they told him were Alabaster Neck, Coral
Lips, Moon Face, Sunshine, Eye's Delight, Heart's Delight, and
she who fanned him was Sugar Cane. The many soft things he said
upon their names shewed him to be a man of sprightly wit, and it
is not to be conceived how much it increased the esteem which the
caliph (who saw every thing) had already conceived for him.
When the ladies observed that Abou Hassan had done eating, one of
them said to the eunuchs who waited, "The commander of the
faithful will go into the hall where the dessert is laid; bring
some water;" upon which they all rose from the table, and taking
from the eunuch, one a gold basin, another an ewer of the same
metal, and a third a towel, kneeled before Abou Hassan, and
presented them to him to wash his hands. As soon as he had done,
he got up, and after an eunuch had opened the door, went,
preceded by Mesrour, who never left him, into another hall, as
large as the former, adorned with paintings by the best masters,
and furnished with gold and silver vessels, carpets, and other
rich furniture. There seven different bands of music began a
concert as soon as Abou Hassan appeared. In this hall there were
seven large lustres, a table in the middle covered with dried
sweetmeats, the choicest and most exquisite fruits of the season,
raised in pyramids, in seven gold basins; and seven ladies more
beautiful than the others standing round it, each with a fan in
her hand.
These new objects raised still greater admiration in Abou Hassan;
who, after he had made a full stop, and given the most sensible
marks of surprise and astonishment, went directly to the table,
where sitting down, he gazed a considerable time at the seven
ladies, with an embarrassment that plainly shewed he knew not to
which to give the preference. At last he ordered them all to lay
aside their fans and sit down, and eat with him, telling them
that it was not so hot, but he could spare them that trouble.
When the ladies were all placed about him, the first thing he did
was to ask their names, which were different from the other
seven, and expressed some perfection of mind or body, which
distinguished them from one another: upon which he took an
opportunity, when he presented them with fruit, &c., to say
something gallant. "Eat this fig for my sake," said he to Chain
of Hearts, who sat on his right hand; "and render the fetters,
with which you loaded me the first moment I saw you, more
supportable." Then, presenting a bunch of grapes to Soul's
Torment, "Take this cluster of grapes," said he, "on condition
you instantly abate the torments which I suffer for your sake;"
and so on to the rest. By these sallies Abou Hassan more and more
amused the caliph, who was delighted with his words and actions,
and pleased to think he had found in him a man who diverted him
so agreeably.
After Abou Hassan had tasted all the fruits in the basin, he got
up and followed Mesrour into a third hall, much more
magnificently furnished than the other two; where he was received
by the same number of musicians and ladies, who stood round a
table covered with all manner of wet sweetmeats. After he had
looked about him with new wonder, he advanced to the table, the
music playing all the time till he sat down. The seven ladies, by
his order, sat down with him, helped themselves, as he desired,
to what they liked best; and he afterwards informed himself of
their names, which pleased him as much as the others had done,
and led him to say as many soft things to them, to the great
diversion of the caliph, who lost not a word.
By this time the day beginning to close, Abou Hassan was
conducted into a fourth hall, much more superb and magnificently
furnished, lighted with wax in seven gold lustres, which gave a
splendid light. Abou Hassan found the same number of musicians
here as he had done in the three other halls, performing in
concert in the most agreeable manner, and seeming to inspire
greater joy; and he saw as many ladies standing round a table
covered with seven gold basins filled with cakes, dried
sweetmeats, and all such relishes as were calculated to promote
drinking. There he saw, which he had not observed in any of the
other halls, a sideboard set out with seven large silver flagons
full of the choicest wines, and by them seven crystal glasses of
the finest workmanship.
Hitherto, in the three first halls, Abou Hassan had drunk nothing
but water, according to the custom observed at Bagdad, from the
highest to the lowest and at the caliph's court, never to drink
wine till the evening; all who transgress this rule being
accounted debauchees, who dare not shew themselves in the day-
time. This custom is the more laudable, as it requires a clear
head to apply to business in the course of the day; and as no
wine is drunk till evening, no drunken people are seen in the
streets in open day creating disturbance in the city.
As soon as Abou Hassan entered the fourth hall, he went to the
table, sat down, and was a long time in a kind of ecstasy at the
sight of the seven ladies who surrounded him, and were much more
beautiful than any he had beheld in the other halls. He was very
desirous to know their names; but as the music played so loud,
and particularly the tambour, that he could not hear them speak,
he clapped his hands for the musicians to cease, when a profound
silence ensued. Taking by the hand the lady who stood on the
right next to him, he made her sit down by him, and presenting
her with a cake, asked her name. "Commander of the faithful,"
said the lady, "I am called Cluster of Pearls." "No name,"
replied Abou Hassan, "could have more properly expressed your
worth; and indeed your teeth exceed the finest pearls. Cluster of
Pearls," added he, "since that is your name, oblige me with a
glass of wine from your fair hand." The lady went to the
sideboard and brought him a glass of wine, which she presented to
him with a pleasant air. Abou Hassan took the glass with a smile,
and looking passionately at her, said, "Cluster of Pearls, I
drink your health; I desire you to fill out as much for yourself,
and pledge me." She ran to the sideboard, and returned with a
glass in her hand; but before she drank, she sung a song, which
charmed him as much by the sweetness of her voice as by its
novelty.
After Abou Hassan had drunk, he made another lady sit down by
him, and presenting her with what she chose in the basins, asked
her name, which she told him was Morning Star. "Your bright
eyes," said he, "shine with greater lustre than that star whose
name you bear. Do me the pleasure to bring me some wine," which
she did with the best grace in the world. Then turning to the
third lady, whose name was Day-light, he ordered her to do the
same, and so on to the seventh, to the extreme satisfaction of
the caliph.
When they had all filled him a glass round, Cluster of Pearls,
whom he had just addressed, went to the sideboard, poured out a
glass of wine, and putting in a pinch of the same powder the
caliph had used the night before, presented it to Abou Hassan;
"Commander of the faithful," said she, "Il beg of your majesty to
take this glass of wine, and before you drink it, do me the
favour to hear a song I have composed to-day, and which I flatter
myself will not displease you. I never sung it before." "With all
my heart," said Abou Hassan, taking the glass, "and, as commander
of the faithful, I command you to sing it; for I am persuaded
that so beautiful a lady cannot compose a song which does not
abound with wit and pleasantry." The lady took a lute, and tuning
it to her voice, sung with so much justness, grace, and
expression, that Abou Hassan was in perfect ecstasy all the time,
and was so much delighted, that he ordered her to sing it again,
and was as much charmed with it as at first.
When the lady had concluded, Abou Hassan drank off his glass, and
turned his head towards her to give her those praises which he
thought she merited, but was prevented by the opiate, which
operated so suddenly, that his mouth was instantly wide open, and
his eyes close shut, and dropping his head on the cushions, he
slept as profoundly as the day before when the caliph had given
him the powder. One of the ladies stood ready to catch the glass,
which fell out of his hand; and then the caliph, who enjoyed
greater satisfaction in this scene than he had promised himself,
and was all along a spectator of what had passed, came into the
hall to them, overjoyed at the success of his plan. He ordered
Abou Hassan to be dressed in his own clothes, and carried back to
his house by the slave who had brought him, charging him to lay
him on a sofa in the same room, without making any noise, and to
leave the door open when he came away.
The slave took Abou Hassan upon his shoulders, carried him home
by a back door of the palace, placed him in his own house as he
was ordered, and returned with speed, to acquaint the caliph.
"Well," said the caliph, "Abou Hassan wished only to be caliph
for one day, to punish the imaum of the mosque of his quarter,
and the four old men who had displeased him: I have procured him
the means of doing this, and he ought to be content."