'Well?' she said, steadily answering my gaze and smiling.
'Have you nothing more to say to me than that?' I asked in an undertone.
'What do you want me to say to you?'
'Are you quite heartless?'
She gave a sigh of boredom, and looked to the other end of the room, as
if for someone to come and break a tedious conversation.
'How could you!' I whispered.
Notwithstanding her self-control, a faint blush came over her face. I
stood looking at her for a little while and then I turned away. She was
quite heartless. I left the Moratini and walked out into the town. This
last interview had helped me in so far that it made certain that my love
was hopeless. I stood still and stamped on the ground, vowing I would
not love her. I would put her away from my thoughts entirely; she was a
contemptible, vicious woman, and I was too proud to be subject to her. I
wondered I did not kill her. I made up my mind to take my courage in
both hands and leave Forli. Once away, I should find myself attracted to
different matters, and probably I should not live long before finding
some other woman to take Giulia's place. She was not the only woman in
Italy; she was not the most beautiful nor the cleverest. Give me a month
and I could laugh at my torments....
The same evening I told Matteo I meant to leave Forli.
'Why?' he asked in astonishment.
'I have been here several weeks,' I answered; 'I don't want to outstay
my welcome.'
'That is rubbish. You know I should be only too glad for you to stay
here all your life.'
'That is very kind of you,' I replied, with a laugh, 'but the
establishment is not yours.'
'That makes no difference. Besides, Checco has become very fond of you,
and I'm sure he wishes you to stay.'
'Of course, I know your hospitality is quite unlimited; but I am
beginning to want to get back to Citta di Castello.'
'Why?' asked Matteo, doubtfully.
'One likes to return to one's native place.'
'You have been away from Castello for ten years; you cannot be in any
particular hurry to get back.'
I was beginning to protest when Checco came in, and Matteo interrupted
me with,--
'Listen, Checco, Filippo says he wants to leave us.'
'But he sha'n't,' said Checco, laughing.
'I really must!' I answered gravely.
'You really mustn't,' replied Checco. 'We can't spare you, Filippo.'
'There's no great hurry about your going home,' he added, when I had
explained my reasons, 'and I fancy that soon we shall want you here. A
good sword and a brave heart will probably be of good use to us.'
'Everything is as quiet as a cemetery,' I said, shrugging my shoulders.
'It is quiet above; but below there are rumblings and strange movements.
I feel sure this calm only presages a storm. It is impossible for
Girolamo to go on as he is now; his debts are increasing every day, and
his difficulties will soon be impracticable. He must do something. There
is certain to be a disturbance at any attempt to put on the taxes, and
then Heaven only knows what will happen.'
I was beginning to get a little vexed at their opposition, and I
answered petulantly,--
'No, I must go.'
'Stay another month; things must come to a head before then.'
A month would have been as bad as a year.
'I am out of health,' I answered; 'I feel I want to get into a different
atmosphere.'
Checco thought for a moment.
'Very well,' he said, 'we can arrange matters to suit us both. I want
someone to go to Florence for me to conclude a little business matter
with Messer Lorenzo de' Medici. You would be away a fortnight; and if
you are out of sorts the ride across country will put you right. Will
you go?'
I thought for a moment. It was not a very long absence, but the new
sights would distract me, and I wanted to see Florence again. On the
whole, I thought it would suffice, and that I could count on the cure
of my ill before the time was up.
'Very well,' I answered.
'Good! And you will have a pleasant companion. I had talked to Scipione
Moratini about it; it did not occur to me that you would go. But it will
be all the better to have two of you.'
'If I go,' I said, 'I shall go alone.'
Checco was rather astonished.
'Why?'
'Scipione bores me. I want to be quiet and do as I like.'
I was quite determined that neither of the Moratini should come with me.
They would have reminded me too much of what I wanted to forget.
'As you like,' said Checco. 'I can easily tell Scipione that I want him
to do something else for me.'
'Thanks.'
'When will you start?'
'At once.'
'Then come, and I will give you the instructions and necessary papers.'