'To-night!'
I walked through the grey streets of Forli, wondering at my happiness;
it was too great to realise. It seemed absurd that I, a poor,
commonplace man, should be chosen out for this ecstasy of bliss. I had
been buffeted about the world, an exile, wandering here and there in
search of a captain under whom to serve. I had had loves before, but
common, grotesque things--not like this, pure and heavenly. With my
other loves I had often felt a certain ugliness about them; they had
seemed sordid and vulgar; but this was so pure, so clean! She was so
saintly and innocent. Oh, it was good! And I laughed at myself for
thinking I was not in love with her. I had loved her always; when it
began I did not know ... and I did not care; all that interested me now
was to think of myself, loving and beloved. I was not worthy of her; she
was so good, so kind, and I a poor, mean wretch. I felt her a goddess,
and I could have knelt down and worshipped her.
I walked through the streets of Forli with swinging steps; I breathed in
the morning air, and felt so strong, and well, and young. Everything was
beautiful--all life! The grey walls enchanted me; the sombre carvings of
the churches; the market women, gaily dressed, entering the town laden
with baskets of many-coloured fruit. They gave me greeting, and I
answered with a laughing heart. How kind they were! Indeed, my heart was
so full of love that it welled over and covered everything and
everybody, so that I felt a strange, hearty kindness to all around me. I
loved mankind!
X
When I got home, I threw myself on my bed and enjoyed a delightful
sleep, and when I awoke felt cool and fresh, and very happy.
'What is the matter with you?' asked Matteo.
'I am rather contented with myself,' I said.
'Then, if you want to make other people contented, you had better come
with me to Donna Claudia.'
'The beautiful Claudia?'
'The same!'
'But can we venture in the enemy's camp?'
'That is exactly why I want you to come. The idea is to take no notice
of the events of yesterday, and that we should all go about as if
nothing had happened.'
'But Messer Piacentini will not be very glad to see us.'
'He will be grinding his teeth, and inwardly spitting fire; but he will
take us to his arms and embrace us, and try to make us believe he loves
us with the most Christian affection.'
'Very well; come on!'
Donna Claudia, at all events, was delighted to see us, and she began
making eyes and sighing, and putting her hand to her bosom in the most
affecting manner.
'Why have you not been to see me, Messer Filippo?' she asked.
'Indeed, madam, I was afraid of being intrusive.'
'Ah,' she said, with a sweeping glance, 'how could you be! No, there was
another reason for your absence. Alas!'
'I dared not face those lustrous eyes.'
She turned them full on me, and then turned them up, Madonna-wise,
showing the whites.
'Are they so cruel, do you think?'
'They are too brilliant. How dangerous to the moth is the candle; and in
this case the candle is twain.'
'But they say the moth as it flutters in the flame enjoys a perfection
of ecstasy.'
'Ah, but I am a very sensible moth,' I answered in a matter-of-fact
tone, 'and I am afraid of burning my wings.'
'How prosaic!' she murmured.
'The muse,' I said politely, 'loses her force when you are present.'
She evidently did not quite understand what I meant, for there was a
look of slight bewilderment in her eyes; and I was not surprised, for I
had not myself the faintest notion of my meaning. Still she saw it was a
compliment.
'Ah, you are very polite!'
We paused a moment, during which we both looked unutterable things at
one another. Then she gave a deep sigh.
'Why so sad, sweet lady?' I asked.
'Messer Filippo,' she answered, 'I am an unhappy woman.' She hit her
breast with her hand.
'You are too beautiful,' I remarked gallantly.
'Ah no! ah no! I am unhappy.'
I glanced at her husband, who was stalking grimly about the room,
looking like a retired soldier with the gout; and I thought that to be
in the society of such a person was enough to make anyone miserable.
'You are right,' she said, following my eyes; 'it is my husband. He is
so unsympathetic.'