CRIPPS ON CELIBACY.
Whatever might or may be said by any number of most able and homicidal
physicians, Russel Overshute will believe, as long as he draws breath
of life, that by the grace of the Lord he owes that privilege to the
fire-bell. In this belief he has always been most strongly supported
by Esther Cripps, who perhaps was the first to suggest the idea; for
he at that time must have failed to know a fire-bell from a
water-bucket. The doctors had left him, through no fear for their own
lives, but in despair of his. There was far less risk of infection now
than in the earlier stages. No sooner, however, did the household find
out that the medical men had abandoned the case, than panic seized
their gallant hearts, and with one accord they ran away. From Saturday
morning till Saturday night, when Esther came from Beckley, there was
nobody left to watch and soothe the poor despairing misery, except the
helpless and worn-out mother.
One thing is certain (and even the doctors, with their usual
sharpness, found it wise to acknowledge this)--both Mr. Overshute and
his mother must have been dead bodies with little hope of Christian
burial, if that brave girl had not set forth (without any one even
asking her) on the Saturday night to help them. Mrs. Overshute had
quite thrown up all hope of everything--save the mercy of God in a
better world, and His justice upon her enemies--when quite in the dark
this young girl came, while she was lying down on her back, and
curtsied, and asked her pleasure.
If Esther had not curtsied, perhaps Mrs. Overshute in that state of
mind would have taken her for an angel; though Etty's bonnet, made by
herself, was not at all angelical. But she knew her for one of the
lower orders (who bend knee instead of neck), and belonging herself to
a fine old race, she rallied her last energies with a power of
condescension.
However, these are medical, physical, social, economical, and perhaps
even psychological questions--wherein what remains except perpetual
inquiry? Enough is to say that Russell Overshute, having long had a
ringing in his ears, was rung out of that, and rung back to life, by
the lively peal of the fire-bell. And ever since that, whenever he is
ill--though it be only a little touch of gout--he immediately sends a
good corpulent man to lay hold of the rope and swing to it. These
things are of later date. For the present, this young man (although he
certainly had turned the corner) lay still in a very precarious state,
with a feeble mother to pray for him. Mrs. Overshute held that same
vile fever, but in a very different form, as at her time of life was
natural. With her it was intermittent, low, stealthy, and undermining.
It never affected her brain, or drove her into furious calenture, but
rooted slowly inward, preying on her life quite leisurely. Their cases
differed, as a knock-down blow differs from a quiet grasp.
But though the house lay still in sadness, loneliness, and dull
suspense, and though the doctors, having abandoned the case, had the
manners not to come again, still from day to day there was some little
growth of liveliness. Hardenow came almost daily, having put his class
of striders under a deputy six-leaguer; the Squire also might be
expected, whenever Mother Hookham let him out; and even Zacchary
Cripps renewed an old washing in that direction. He came, with the
hoops of his cart taken out, because of the beautiful weather, and
four good baskets of clothes for to wash (whose wearers were happy
enough to have no idea where their "things" were), and quite at the
centre of his gravity--as felt by himself, and endorsed by
Dobbin--anybody getting up with a curious eye might well have beheld a
phenomenon. For here stood a very large pickling tub, with the cover
taken off for the sake of air; around the sides was salted pork--hands
and springs, and belly pieces--and in the middle was a good-sized
barrel of the then existent native.
"Veed 'un," cried Cripps, with his coat-tails up, while tugging at his
heavy tub; "veed 'un, Etty, whatsomever 'ee do. Salt is the main thing
for 'un now. I have heerd tell that they burns away every bit of the
salt inside 'em, in these here bouts of fever. If 'ee can replace 'un,
laife comes round; or else they goes off, like the snuff of a candle.
Bless me, I must be getting fevery myzell, or never should have a job
to lift this here. Now the quality of this pickle you know well, for
the most part fell on your shoulders. Home-bred, home-born, home-fed,
home-slaughtered, and home-salted--that's what I calls pork!"
"Yes, to be sure, Zak," Etty answered, laying her hand to the tub upon
the shaft-stock, while Dobbin wagged his tail at her; "but what have
you got in this very small cask, sitting in the middle of all the
brine?"
"Why, you know, Etty, you must have seed me bring 'em for all the
great folk about Christmas-tide. Oysters, as lives in the sea, and
must be salt inside of their barryels. So I clapped them in here for a
fresh smack of it, and uncommonly strengthening things they be if you
take them with enow of treble X. Likely his worship will be too weak
to keep them down with the covers on yet, as is the proper way, they
tell me; so you best way take out the hearts and give him."
"Oh, brother," cried Esther, remembering suddenly, "I ought not to be
talking to you like this. Whatever could I be thinking of? What would
the people at Beckley say? They would fear to come nigh you for a
month, Zak, and your business would be ruined. Now, do jog on, you and
dear old Dobbin. How well I knew the sound of his old feet. I can't
give you the fever, Dobbin, can I?"
With this perhaps incorrect or, at any rate, unestablished hypothesis,
she gave the old horse a lingering kiss just below his blinkers, in
return for which he jerked off some froth on the sleeve of her dress,
and shook himself; while the Carrier, having discharged his cargo,
smote himself with both arms, from habit rather than necessity, and
approached his young sister for his usual hearty smack.
"No, Zak, no," she cried, running up the steps, "I have no fear of
taking it myself whatever; but if I should happen to give it to you, I
never should get over it."
"Well, well, little un, the Lord knows best," Master Cripps answered,
without repining too bitterly at this arrangement; "but ating of my
victuals lonesome is worse than having no salt to them; you better
come home pretty soon, my dear, or somehow or other there might happen
to be some one over in the corner, 'longside of our best frying-pan."
Etty had heard this threat so often, that now she only laughed at it.
But instead of laughing, she blushed most sadly at her brother's
parting words:
"God bless you, Etty, for a brave good girl; and speed you home to
Beckley. You want more sleep of nights, my dear; your cheeks are
getting like a pillow-case. But excoose my mentioning of one thing,
Etty; I be like a father to 'ee; don't 'ee have more than you can help
to say to the great scholard, Master Hardenow."
Cripps was a gentleman, in an inner kind of way, and he took good care
to be getting up his shaft (with his stiff knee stiffer than ever,
from the long frost of last winter) while he discharged his duty, as
he thought it, at, as well as to, his sister. Then he deposited the
polished part of his breeches on the driving-board, and brought his
"game-leg" into the right stick-out, and with his usual deliberation
started--nay, that is too strong a word--persuaded into progress his
congenial and deliberate horse. Neither of them hurried on a
washing-day, any more than they hurried upon any other day.
Zacchary knew that his sister was--as Master Phil Hiss had said of
her--"a most terrible hand at blushing;" and she could not bear to be
looked at in this electric aurora of maidenhood; and therefore he
managed to be a long way off, ere even he turned both head and hand,
to deliver last issue of "God bless you!"
Full of confusion about herself, and clearness of duty for other
people, Esther Cripps ran in, to see to the many things now depending
upon her. There were now three servants in the house, gathered from
good stuff around, but wholly void of any wit, to make up for want of
experience. Esther had no experience either, but she possessed good
store of sense, and quickness, and kind energy. Whatever she thought
of her brother's warning, she would think of afterwards. For the
present she must do her best concerning other people; and Mrs.
Overshute needed now more nursing than her son did.
Zacchary Cripps, at the very first distance at which he was sure of
not being seen, began to shake his head, and shook it, in a resolutely
reflective way, for nearly three quarters of a mile. The trees above
him were alive with beauty, alike of sight, and sound, and scent; and
the Carrier made up his mind for a pipe, to enable him to consider
things. His custom was not to smoke, except when good occasion
offered; and he tried to have no contempt for carriers (of inferior
family) who could not deliver a side of bacon without smoking it over
again almost. Zacchary Cripps, like all good men, stood up for the
dignity of his work. Strictly meditating thus, he saw a slight figure
approaching with a rapid swing, and presently met Mr. Hardenow.
The fellow and tutor of Brazenose, at the sight of Cripps and the
well-known cart, stopped short to ask how things were going on at the
house on the hill above them. The Carrier answered that it would be
many a long day, he was afraid, ere his worship could get about again,
and that he ought to be kept very quiet, and those would be his best
friends now who had the least to say to him. Also he was told that the
poor old lady would find it as much as her life was worth, if she was
interrupted or terrified now.
"But, my good Cripps," answered Hardenow, "I am not going either to
interrupt or terrify them. All I desire is to have a little talk with
your good and intelligent sister."
Poor Zacchary felt that his own tactics thus were turned against him;
and, after a little stammering and heightened glow of countenance, he
betook himself to his more usual course--that of plain out-speaking.
But first he got down from his driving-board that he might not fail in
due respect to a gentleman and clergyman. Master Cripps had no liking
at all for the duty which he felt bound to take in hand. He would
rather have a row with three turnpike-men than presume to speak to a
gentleman; therefore his bow-leg seemed to twitch him at the knee, as
he led Hardenow aside into a quiet gateway; but his eyes were firm and
his manner grave and steadfast as he began to speak.
"Mr. Hardenow, now I must ask your pardon, for a few words as I want
to say. You are a gentleman, of course, and a very learned scholar;
and I be nothing but a common carrier--a 'carrier for hire,' they
calls me in the law, when they comes upon me for damages. Howsoever, I
has to do my part off the road as well as on it, sir; and my dooty to
them of my own household comes next to my dooty to God and myzell. You
are a good man, I know, and a kind one, and would not, beknown to
yourself, harm any one. It would go to your heart, I believe, Mr.
Hardenow, from what I seed of you, when you was quite a lad, if anyhow
you was to be art or part in bringing unhappiness of mind to any that
had trusted you."
"I should hope so, Cripps. I have some idea of what you mean, but can
hardly think--at any rate, speak more plainly."
"Well then, sir, I means all about your goings on with our little
Etty, or, at any rate, her goings on with you, which cometh to the
same thing in the end, so far as I be acquaint of it. You might think,
if you was not told distinkly to the contrairy, that having no
business to lift up her eyes, she never would do so according. But I
do assure you, sir, when it cometh to such like manner of taking on,
the last thing as ever gets called into the account is sensible
reason. They feels this, and they feels that; and then they falls to
a-dreaming; and the world goes into their tub, same as butter, and
they scoops it out, and pats, and stamps it to their own size and
liking, and then the whole melteth, and a sour fool is left."
"Master Cripps, what you say is wise; and the like has often happened.
But your sister is a most noble girl. You do her gross injustice by
talking as if she were nothing but a common village maid. She is
brave, she is pure, she is grandly unselfish. Her mind is well above
feminine average; anything more so goes always amiss. You should not
have such a low opinion as you seem to have of your sister, Cripps."
"Sir, my opinion is high enough. Now, to bring your own fine words to
the test, would you ever dream of marrying the maid, if I and she both
was agreeable?"
"It would be an honour to me to do so. For the prejudices of the world
I care not one fig. But surely you know that we contend for the
celibacy of the clergy."
"Maning as a parson maun't marry a wife?" asked Cripps, by the light
of nature.
"Yes, my friend, that is what we now maintain in the Anglican
communion, as the tradition of the Church."
"Well, may I be danged!" cried Cripps, who was an ardent theologian.
"Then, if I may make so bold to ask, sir, how could there a' been a
tribe of Levi? They must all a' died out in the first generation; if
'em ever come to any generation at all."
"Your objection is ingenious, Cripps; but the analogy fails entirely.
We are guided in such matters by unbroken and unquestionable tradition
of the early Church."
"Then, sir, if you goes outside of the Bible, you stand on your own
legs, and leave us no kind of leg to stand upon. However, I believe
that you mean well, sir, and I am sure that you never do no great
harm. And, as to our Etty, if you feel like that in an honest,
helpless sort of way, I beg the honour of shaking hands, sir, for the
spirit that is inside of you."
"Certainly, certainly, Cripps, with great pleasure!"
"And then of asking you to tramp another road, for your own sake, as
well as hers, sir. And may the Lord teach you to know your own mind."
"Cripps, I will follow your advice for the present; though you have
said some things that you scarcely ought to say."
"Then I humbly beg your pardon, sir. Every one of us doeth that same
sometimes. The bridle of the tongue falleth into the teeth, when the
lash is laid on us."
"Your metaphors are quite classical. However, I respect you greatly,
Cripps, for your straightforward conduct. I am not a weak man, any
more than you are; although you seem to think me one. I like and
admire your sister Esther, for courage combined with gentleness. I
always liked her, when she was a child; and I understood her nature.
But as to her--liking me more than she ought; Cripps, you are
imaginative."
"Never heerd before," cried Cripps, "any accoosation of that there
kind."
"My friend, it is the rarest compliment. However, your horse is quite
ready to walk off; and so am I, towards Cowley. I will not go to
Shotover Grange to-day; and I will avoid your sister; though I rarely
do like talking to her."
"You are a man sir," cried Zacchary Cripps, as Hardenow set off across
the fields. "God bless your reverence, though you never get a waife! A
true man he is, and a maight a' been a faine one, if he hadn't taken
to them stiff coat tails."