_fainting, his Sword drawn._
_L. Orl._ What's he _Viramour_?
_Vir._ A goodly personage.
_Mont._ Am I yet safe? or is my flight a dream?
My wounds and hunger tell me that I wake:
Whither have my fears born me? no matter where,
Who hath no place to goe to, cannot err:
What shall I do? cunning calamity!
That others gross wits uses to refine,
When I most need it duls the edg of mine.
_L. Orl._ Is not this _Montagues_ voyce?
_Vir._ My Masters? fie.
_Mont._ What sound was that, 'pish,
Fear makes the wretch think every leaf oth' Jury:
What course to live, 'beg? better men have done it,
But in another kind: steal? _Alexander_
Though stil'd a Conqueror, was a proud thief,
Though he rob'd with an Army; fie how idle
These meditations are: though thou art worse
Than sorrows tongue can speak thee, thou art still,
Or shouldst be, honest _Montague_.
_L. Orl._ 'Tis too true.
_Vir._ 'Tis he: what villains hands did this? oh that my flesh
Were Balm; in faith Sir, I would pluck it off
As readily as this; pray you accept
My will to do you service: I have heard
The Mouse once sav'd the Lyon in his need,
As the poor Scarab spild the Eagles seed.
_L. Orl._ How do you?
_Mont._ As a forsaken man.
_L. Orl._ Do not say so, take comfort,
For your misfortunes have been kind in this,
To cast you on a hospitable shoar,
Where dwels a Lady--
_Vir._ She to whom, good Master,
You prefer'd me.
_L. Orl._ In whose house, whatsoere
Your dangers are, I'll undertake your safety.
_Mont._ I fear that I am pursued, and doubt that I,
In my defence have kild an Officer.
_Vir._ Is that all? there's no law under the Sun
But will I hope confess, one drop of blood
Shed from this arme is recompence enough
Though you had cut the throats of all the Catchpoles
In _France_, nay in the world.
_Mont._ I would be loth
To be a burthen, or feed like a drone
On the industrious labor of a Bee,
And baser far I hold it to owe for
The bread I eat, what's not in me to pay;
Then since my full fortunes are declin'd,
To their low ebb I'll fashion my high mind.
It was no shame to _Hecuba_, to serve
When Troy was fir'd: if't be in your power
To be a means to make her entertainment,
And far from that I was; but to supply
My want with habit fit for him that serves,
I shall owe much to you.
_L. Orl._ Leave that care to me.
_Vir._ Good Sir, lean on my shoulder; help good Madam: oh that I
were a horse for half an hour, that I might carry you home on my
back: I hope you w[i]ll love me still?
_Mont._ Thou dost deserve it boy, that I should live
To be thus troublesome.
_L. Orl._ Good Sir, 'tis none.
_Vir._ Trouble? most willingly I would be chang'd
Like _Apuleius_, weare his Asses ears,
Provided I might still this burthen bear.
_L. Orl._ 'Tis a kind boy.
_Mont._ I find true proof of it. [_Exeunt._
_Enter Amiens, and Longeville, with a Paper._
_Ami._ You'll carry it.
_Long._ As I live although my packet were like _Bellerophon's_,
what have you seen in me or my behavior since your favors so
plentifully showr'd upon my wants, that may beget distrust of my
p[er]formance?
_Ami._ Nay, be not angry, if I entertained
But the least scruple of your love, or courage,
I would make choyce of one which my estate
Should do me right in this, nor can you blame me
If in a matter of such consequence
I am so importunate.
_Long._ Good my Lord let me prevent your farther conjurations
To rayse my spirit, I know this is a challenge
To be delivered unto _Orlean[c]e_ hand,
And that my undertaking ends not there,
But I must be your second, and in that
Not alone search your enemy, measure weapons,
But stand in all your hazards, as our blouds
Ran in the self-same veins, in which if I
Better not your opinion, as a limb
That's putrifi'd and useless, cut me off,
And underneath the Gallows bury it.
_Ami._ At full you understand me, and in this
Bind me, and what's mine to you and yours,
I will not so much wrong you as to add
One syllable more, let it suffice I leave
My honor to your guard: and in that prove,
You hold the first place in my heart and love. [_Ex. Ami._
_Long._ The first place in a Lords affection? very good; and how
long doth that last? perhaps the changing of some three shirts in
the Tennis-Court; well, it were very necessary that an order were
taken (if it were possible,) that younger brothers might have more
wit, or more money: for now, however the fool hath long been put
upon him that inherits, his revenue hath bought him a spunge, and
wip't off the imputation, and for the understanding of the younger,
let him get as much Rhetorick as he can, to grace his language.
_Enter_ Dubois.
They will see, he shall have gloss little enough to set out his
Bark; stand _Dubois_, look about, 's all safe?
_Dub._ Approach not near me but with reverence Lawrel and
adorations, I have done more than deserves a hundred thanks.
_Long._ How now, what's the matter?
_Dub._ With this hand, only aided by this brain,
Without an _Orpheus_ Harp redeem'd from Hells
Three headed Porter, our _Euridice_.
_Long._ Nay, prethee speak sence, this is like the stale bragart in
a Play.
_Dub._ Then in plain Prose thus, and with as little action as
thou canst desire, the three headed Porter, were three unexorable
Catch-poles, out of whose jaws without the help of _Orpheus_ Harp,
bait or bribe; for those two strings make the Musick, that molifies
those flinty furies, I rescued our _Euridice_, I mean my old Master
_Montague_.
_Long._ And is this all? a poor rescue; I thought thou hadst
revers'd the judgement for his overthrow in his sute, or wrought
upon his adversary _Orleance_, taken the shape of a Ghost, frighted
his mind into distraction, and for the appeasing of his conscience,
forc'd him to make restitution of _Montague's_ Lands, or such
like rescue; S'light I would have hired _Acrocheture_ for two
_Cardekues_, to have done so much with his whip.
_Dub._ You wood Sir, and yet 'tis more than three on their
foot-cloaths durst do for a sworn Brother, in a Coach.
_Long._ Besides, what proof's of it? for ought I know, this may be
a trick, I had rather have him a prisoner, where I might visit him,
and do him service, than not at all, or I know not where.
_Dub._ Well Sir, the end will shew it, what's that, a challenge?
_Long._ Yes, where's _Orleance_? though we fight in jest, he must
meet with _Amiens_ in earnest,--fall off, we are discovered; my
horse _garson_; ha!
_Dub._ Were it not in a house, and in his presence,
To whom I owe all duty--
_Long._ What would it do? prate as it does? but be as far from
striking, as he that owes it _Orleance_.
_Dub._ How?
_Long._ I think thou art his Porter,
Set here to answer creditors, that his Lordship
Is not within, or takes the diet: I am sent,
And will grow here until I have an answer,
Not to demand a debt of money, but
To call him to a strict account for wrong
Done to the honors of a Gentleman,
Which nothing but his heart-bloud shall wash off.
_Dub._ Shall I hear this?
_Long._ And more, that if [I] may not
Have access to him, I will fix this here
To his disgrace and thine.
_Dub._ And thy life with it.
_Long._ Then have the copies of it pasted on posts,
Like Pamphlet Titles, that sue to be sold;
Have his disgrace talk for Tobacco-shops,
His picture baffled.
_Dub._ All respect away, wer't in a Church-- [_draw both._
_Long._ This is the Book I pray with.
_Enter Orleance._
_Orl._ Forbear upon your lives.
_Long._ What are you rouz'd? I hope your Lordship can read (though
he stain not his birth with Scholar-ship) doth it not please you
now? if you are a right _Mounsieur_, muster up the rest of your
attendance, which is a Page, a Cook, a Pander, Coach-man, and
a Footman, in these days a great Lords train, pretending I am
unworthy to bring you a challenge, instead of answering it, have me
kick'd.
_Dub._ If he does, thou deserv'st it.
_Long._ I dare you all to touch me, I'll not stand still,
What answer?
_Orl._ That thou hast done to _Amiens_
The office of a faithful friend, which I
Would cherish in thee, were he not my foe,
How ever since on honourable terms
He calls me forth, say I will meet with him,
And by _Dubois_ e'r Sun-set make him know
The time and place, my swords length, and what ever
Scruple of circumstance he can expect.
_Long._ This answer comes unlookt for, fare you well,
Finding your temper thus, wou'd I had said less. [_Exit._
_Orl._ Now comes thy love to the test.
_Dub._ My Lord, 'twill hold,
And in all dangers prove it self true Gold. [_Exeunt._
_Enter_ Laverdine, La-poop, Malicorn, _servant_.
_Ser._ I will acquaint my Lady with your coming.
Please you repose your selves here.
_Mal._ There's a Tester, nay, now I am a wooer, I must be bountiful.
_Ser._ If you would have two three-pences for it Sir, To give some
of your kindred as you ride, I'll see if I can get them; we use not
(tho servants) to take bribes. [_Ex._
_Lav._ Then thou art unfit to be in office, either in Court or City.
_La-p._ Indeed, corruption is a Tree, whose branches are of
an unmeasurable length, they spread every where, and the dew,
that drops from thence, hath infected some chairs and stools of
authority.
_Mal._ Ah Captain! lay not all the fault upon Officers, you know
you can shark, tho you be out of action, witness _Montague_.
_Lav._ Hang him, he's safe enough; you had a hand in it too, and
have gained by him; but I wonder you Citizens, that keep so many
books, and take such strict accounts for every farthing due to you
from others, reserve not so much as a memorandum for the courtesies
you receive.
_Mal._ Would you have a Citizen book those? thankfulness is a
thing, we are not sworn to in our Indentures: you may as well urge
conscience.
_Lav._ Talk no more of such vanities, _Mountague_ is irrecoverably
sunk, I would we had twenty more to send after him; the Snake that
would be a Dragon, and have wings, must eat; and what implies that,
but this, that in this _Cannibal_ age, he that would have the sute
of wealth, must not care ---- whom he feeds on? and as I have
heard, no flesh battens better, then that of a profest friend;
and he that would mount to honor, must not make dainty to use the
head of his mother, back of his Father, or neck of his Brother, for
ladders to his preferment; for, but observe, and you shall find for
the most part, cunning villany sit at a Feast as principal guest,
and innocent honesty wait as a contemn'd servant with a trencher.
_La-p._ The Ladies.
_Enter_ Montague _bare-headed_, Lamira, _Lady_
Orleance, Charlotte _a[n]d_ V[e]ramour.
_Mont._ Do ye smell nothing?
_Char._ Not I Sir.
_Mont._ The carrion of knaves is very strong in my nostrils.
_Lav._ We came to admire, and find Fame was a niggard,
Which we thought prodigal in our report
Before we saw you.
_Lam._ Tush Sir, this Courtship's old.
_La-p._ I'll fight for thee, sweet wench,
This is my tongue, and woes for me.
_Lam._ Good man of War,
Hands off; if you take me, it must be by siege,
Not by an onset; and for your valour, I
Think that I have de[ser]ved few enemies,
And therefore need it not.
_Mal._ Thou need'st nothing, sweet Lady, but an obsequious husband,
and where wilt thou find him, if not in the City? We are true
_Muscovites_ to our Wives, and are never better pleased, than when
they use us as slaves, bridle and Saddle us; Have me, thou shalt
command all my wealth as thine own, thou shalt sit like a Queen in
my Ware-house; And my Factors at the return with my ships, shall
pay thee tribute of all the rarities of the earth; thou shalt wear
gold, feed on delicates, the first Peascods, Strawberries, Grapes,
Cherries shall--
_Lam._ Be mine; I apprehend what you would say,
Those dainties which the City pays so dear for,
The Countrey yields for nothing, and as early;
And, credit me, your far-fet viands please not
My appetite better than those that are near hand.
Then for your promis'd service and subjection
To all my humors, when I am your wife,
Which [as] it seems, is frequent in the City,
I cannot find what pleasure they receive
In using their fond Husbands like their Maids;
But of this, more hereafter: I accept
Your proffer kindly, and yours; my house stands open
To entertain you, take your pleasure in it,
And ease after your journey.
_La. Orl._ Do you note the boldness of the fellows?
_Lam._ Alas Madam, a Virgin must in this be like a Lawyer,
And as he takes all Fees; she must hear all suitors; the
One for gain, the other for her mirth; stay with the
Gentlemen, we'll to the Orchards.
[_Exeunt_ Lamira, _Lady_ Orleance, Vera. _and_ Charl.
_La-p._ ---- What art thou?
_Mont._ An honest man, though poor;
And look they like to monsters, are they so rare?
_Lav._ Rose from the dead.
_Mal._ Do you hear Monsieur _Serviture_, didst thou never hear of
one _Montague_, a prodigal gull, that lives about _Paris_?
_Mont._ So Sir.
_Lav._ One that after the loss of his main estate in a Lawsute,
bought an Office in the Court.
_La-p._ And should have Letters of _Mart_, to have the _Spanish_
treasure as it came from the _Indies_; were not thou and he twins?
put off thy Hat, let me see thy Fore-head.
_Mont._ Though you take priviledge to use your tongue[s],
I pray you hold your fingers,
'Twas your base cozenag[e] made me as I am:
And were you somewhere else, I would take off
This proud film from your eyes, that will not let you,
Know I am _Montague_.
_Enter_ Lamira _behind the Arras_.
_Lam._ I will observe this better.
_Lav._ And art thou he? I will do thee grace; give me thy hand: I
am glad thou hast taken so good a course; serve God, and please thy
Mistriss; if I prove to be thy Master, as I am very like[l]y, I
will do for thee.
_Mal._ Faith the fellow's well made for a Serving-man, and will no
doubt, carry a chine of Beef with a good grace.
_La-p._ Prethee be careful of me in my chamber, I will remember
thee at my departure.
_Mont._ All this I can endure under this roof,
And so much owe I her, whose now I am,
That no wrong shall incense me to molest,
Her quiet house, while you continue here,
I will not be ashamed to do you service
More than to her, because such is her pleasure.
But you that have broke thrice, and fourteen times
Compounded for two shillings in the pound,
Know I dare kick you in your shop; do you hear?
If ever I see _Paris_, though an Army
Of musty Murrions, rusty brown Bills and Clubs,
Stand for your guard--I have heard of your tricks,
And you that smell of Amber at my charge,
And triumph in your cheat; well, I may live
To meet thee, be it among a troop of such
That are upon the fair face of the Court
Like running Ulcers, and before thy whore
Trampel upon thee.
_La-p._ This a language for a Livery? take heed, I am a Captain.
_Mont._ A Coxcomb are you not? that thou and I,
To give proof, which of us dares most, were now
In midst of a rough Sea, upon a piece
Of a split Ship, where only one might ride,
[Lamira _from the Arras_.
I would--but foolish anger makes me talk
Like a Player.
_Lam._ Indeed you act a part
Doth ill become you my servant; is this your duty?
_Mont._ I crave your pardon, and will hereafter be more circumspect.
_Lav._ Oh the power of a Womans tongue: it hath done more than we
three with our swords durst undertake; put a mad man to silence.
_Lam._ Why sirrah, these are none of your comrades
To drink with in the Cellar; one of them
For ought you know, may live to be your Master.
_La-p._ There's some comfort yet.
_Lam._ Here's choice of three, a wealthy Merchant.
_Mal._ Hem, she's taken, she hath spy'd my good Calf,
And many Ladies chuse their Husbands by that.
_Lam._ A Courtier that's in grace, a valiant Captain,
And are these mates for you, away, begone.
_Mont._ I humbly pray you will be pleased to pardon,
And to give satisfaction to you Madam,
(Although I break my heart) I will confess
That I have wrong'd them too, and make submission.
_Lam._ No I'll spare that; go bid the Cook haste supper. [_Exit_ Mont.
_La-p._ Oh brave Lady, thou art worthy to have servants, to be
commandress of a Family, that knowest how to use and govern it.
_Lav._ You shall have many Mistresses that will so mistake, as to
take their Horse-keepers, and Footmen instead of their Husbands,
thou art none of those.
_Mal._ But she that can make distinction of men, and knows when she
hath gallants, and fellows of rank and quality in her house--
_Lam._ Gallants indeed, if it be the Gallants fashion
To triumph in the miseries of a man,
Of which they are the cause: one that transcends
(In spight of all that fortune hath, or can be done)
A million of such things as you, my doors
Stand open to receive all such as wear
The shape of Gentlemen, and my gentl[i]er nature
(I might say weaker) weighs not the expence
Of entertainment; think you I'll forget yet
What's due unto my self? do not I know,
That you have dealt with poor _Montague_, but like
Needy Commanders, cheating Citizens,
And perjur'd Courtiers? I am much mov'd, else use not
To say so much, if you will bear your selves
As fits such, you would make me think you are,
You may stay; if not, the way lies before you. [_Exit._
_Mal._ What think you of this Captain?
_La-p._ That this is a bawdy-house, with Pinacles and Turrets, in
which this disguised _Montague_ goes to Rut _gratis_, and that this
is a landed pandress, and makes her house a brothel for charity.
_Mal._ Come, that's no miracle; but from whence derive you the
supposition?
_Lav._ Observe but the circumstance; you all know that in the
height of _Mountagues_ prosperity, he did affect, and had his love
return'd by this Lady _Orleans_; since her divorcement, and his
decay of estate, it is known they have met, not so much as his boy
[is] wanting; and that this can be any thing else than a meer plot
for their night-work, is above my imagination to conceive.
_Mal._ Nay, it carries probability, let us observe it better, but
yet with such caution, as our prying be not discovered; here's all
things to be had without cost, and therefore good staying here.
_La-p._ Nay, that's true, I would we might wooe her twenty years,
like _Penelopes_ sutors; come _Laverdine_.
[_Exeunt_ Malli. La Poop.
_Lav._ I follow instantly, yonder he is.
_Enter_ Viramor.
The thought of this boy hath much cool'd my affection to his Lady,
and by all conjectures, this is a disguised whore; I will try if I
can search this Mine, Page--
_Ver._ Your pleasure, Sir?
_Lav._ Thou art a pretty boy.
_Ver._ And you a brave man: now I am out of your debt.
_Lav._ Nay, prethee stay.
_Ver._ I am in haste, Sir.
_Lav._ By the faith of a Courtier.
_Ver._ Take heed what you say, you have taken a strange oath.
_Lav._ I have not seen a youth that hath pleased me better; I would
thou couldst li[k]e me, so far as to leave thy Lady and wait on me,
I would maintain thee in the bravest cloaths.
_Ver._ Though you took them up on trust, or bought 'em at the
Brokers.
_Lav._ Or any way: then thy imployments should be so neat and
cleanly, thou shouldst not touch a pair of pantables in a month,
and thy lodging--
_Ver._ Should be in a brothel.
_Lav._ No, but in mine arms.
_Ver._ That may be the circle of a Bawdy-house, or worse.
_Lav._ I mean thou should'st lye with me.
_Ver._ Lie with you? I had rather lye with my Ladies Monkey;
'twas never a good world, since our French Lords learned of the
_Neapolitans_, to make their Pages their Bed-fellows, doth more
hurt to the Suburb Ladies, than twenty dead vacations; 'Tis supper
time, Sir. [_Exit_ Veram.
_Lav._ I thought so, I know by that 'tis a woman, for because,
peradventure she hath made trial of the Monkey, she prefers him
before me, as one unknown; well, these are standing creatures, and
have strange desires; and men must use strange means to quenc[h]
strange fires. [_Exit._
_Actus Quartus. Scæna Prima._
_Enter_ Montague _alone in mean habit_.
_Mont._ Now _Montague_, who discerns thy spirit now?
Thy breeding, or thy bloud? here's a poor cloud
Eclipseth all thy splendor; who can read
In thy pale face, dead eye, or _lenten shute_,
The liberty thy ever-giving hand
Hath bought for others, manacling it self
In gyves of parchment indissoluble?
The greatest hearted man supplyed with means,
Nobility of birth and gentlest parts,
I thought the right hand of his Sovereign,
If virtue quit her seat in his high soul,
Glitters but like a Palace set on fire,
Whose glory whilst it shines, but ruins him,
And his bright show each hour to ashes tending
Shall at the last be rak'd up like a sparkle,
Unless mens lives and fortunes feed the flame.
Not for my own wants, though blame I my Stars,
But suffering others to cast love on me,
When I can neither take, nor thankful be.
My Ladies woman, fair and virtuous
Young as the present month, sollicites me
For love and marriage now being nothing worth--
_Enter_ Veramour.
_Ver._ Oh! Master, I have sought you a long hour,
Good faith, I never joy'd out of your sight;
For Heavens sake, Sir, be merry, or else bear
The buffets of your fortunes with more scorn;
Do but begin to rail, teach me the way,
And I'll sit down, and help your anger forth:
I have known you wear a suit; full worth a Lordship,
Give to a man whose need ne'er frighted you
From calling of him friend, five hundred Crowns
E'er sleep had left your sences to consider
Your own important present uses; yet
Since I have seen you with a t[r]encher wait,
Void of all scorn, therefore I'll wait on you.
_Mont._ Would [God] thou wert less honest.
_Ver._ Would to [God] you were less worthy: I am ev'n w'e Sir.
_Mon._ Is not thy Master strangely fall'n, when thou
Servest for no wages, but for charity?
Thou dost surcharge me with thy plenteous love:
The goodness of thy virtue shown to me,
More opens still my disability
To quit thy pains: credit me loving boy,
A free and honest nature may be opprest,
Tir'd with courtesies from a liberal spirit,
When they exceed his means of gratitude.
_Ver._ But 'tis a due in him that to that end
Extends his love or duty.
_Mont._ Little world
Of virtue, why dost love and follow me?
_Ver._ I will follow you through all Countreys,
I'll run (fast as I can) by your horse side,
I'll hold your stirrop when you do alight,
And without grudging, wait till you return:
I'll quit offer'd means, and expose my self
To cold and hunger, still to be with you;
Fearless I'll travel through a wilderness,
And when you are weary, I will lay me down
That in my bosom you may rest your head,
Where whilst you sleep, I'll watch, that no wild beast
Shall hurt or trouble you: and thus we'll breed a story
To make every hearer weep,
When they disco[u]rse our fortunes and our loves.
_Mont._ Oh what a scoff might men of women make,
If they did know this boy? but my desire
Is, that thou wouldest not (as thou usest still:
When like a servant, I 'mong servants sit)
Wait on my Trencher, fill my cups with Wine:
Why should'st thou do this boy? prethee consider,
I am not what I was.
_Ver._ Curst be the day when I forget that _Montague_ was my Lord,
or not remember him my Master still.
_Mont._ Rather curse me, with whom thy youth hath spent,
So many hours, and yet untaught to live
By any worldly quality.
_Ver._ Indeed you never taught me how to handle Cards
To cheat and cozen men with oaths and lies:
Those are the worldly qualities to live:
Some of our scarlet Gallants teach their boys
These worldly qualities.
Since stumbling fortune then leaves virtue thus
Let me leave fortune, e'r be vicious.
_Mon._ Oh lad, thy love will kill me.
_Ver._ In truth, I think in conscience [I] shall dye for you:
Good Master weep not, do you want aught, Sir?
Will you have any money, here's some Silver;
And here's a little Gold, 'twill serve to play,
And put more troublesome thoughts out of your mind:
I pray Sir take it, I'll get more with singing.
And then I'll bring it you, my Lady ga't me,
And--it was not covetousness,
But I forgot to tell you sooner on't.
_Mont._ Alas boy, thou art not bound to tell it me,
And less to give it, buy thee Scarfs and Garters,
And when I have money, I will give thee a sword:
Nature made thee a beauteous Cabinet
To lock up [all] the goodness of the earth.
_Enter Charlote._
_Ver._ I have lost my voice with the very sight of this
Gentlewoman: good Sir steal away, you were wont to be a curious
avoider of womens company.
_Mont._ Why boy, thou dar'st trust me any where, dar'st thou not?
_Ver._ I had rather trust you by a roaring Lion, than a ravening
woman.
_Mont._ Why boy?
_Ver._ Why truly she devours more mans flesh--
_Mont._ I, but she roars not boy.
_Ver._ No Sir, why she is never silent but when her mouth is full.
_Charl._ Monsieur _Montague_.
_Mont._ My sweet fellow, since you please to call me so.