THROUGH BELGIUM
It is strange how people act in a crisis. I mean, it is strange how
quiet they are, and composed. We stood there on the top of the
trench, without speaking, although I knew what had happened to us was
bitterer far than to be shot. But there was not a word spoken. I
remember noticing Fred McKelvey, when the German who stood in front
of him told him to take off his equipment. Fred's manner was halting,
and reluctant, and he said, as he laid down his rifle and unbuckled
his cartridge bag, "This is the thing my father told me never to let
happen."
Just then the German who stood by me said something to me, and
pointed to my equipment, but I couldn't unfasten a buckle with my
useless arm, so I asked him if he couldn't see I was wounded. He
seemed to understand what I meant, and unbuckled my straps and took
everything off me, very gently, too, and whipped out my bandage and
was putting it on my shoulder with considerable skill, I thought, and
certainly with a gentle hand--when the order came from their officer
to move us on, for the shells were falling all around us.
Unfortunately for me, my guard did not come with us, nor did I ever
see him again. One of the others reached over and took my knife,
cutting the string as unconcernedly as if I wanted him to have
it, and I remember that this one had a saw-bayonet on his gun, as
murderous and cruel-looking a weapon as any one could imagine, and
he had a face to match it, too. So in the first five minutes I saw
the two kinds of Germans.
When we were out of the worst of the shell-fire, we stopped to rest,
and, a great dizziness coming over me, I sat down with my head
against a tree, and looked up at the trailing rags of clouds that
drifted across the sky. It was then about four o'clock of as pleasant
an afternoon as I can ever remember. But the calmness of the sky,
with its deep blue distance, seemed to shrivel me up into nothing.
The world was so bright, and blue, and--uncaring!
I may have fallen asleep for a few minutes, for I thought I heard
McKelvey saying, "Dad always told me not to let this happen." Over
and over again, I could hear this, but I don't know whether McKelvey
had repeated it. My brain was like a phonograph that sticks at one
word and says it over and over again until some one stops it.
I think it was Mudge, of Grand Forks, who came over to see how I was.
His voice sounded thin and far away, and I didn't answer him. Then I
felt him taking off my overcoat and finishing the bandaging that the
German boy had begun.
Little Joe, the Italian boy, often told me afterwards how I looked
at that time. "All same dead chicken not killed right and kep' long
time."
Here those who were not so badly wounded were marched on, but there
were ten of us so badly hit we had to go very slowly. Percy Weller,
one of the boys from Trail who enlisted when I did, was with us, and
when we began the march I was behind him and noticed three holes
in the back of his coat; the middle one was a horrible one made by
shrapnel. He staggered painfully, poor chap, and his left eye was
gone!
We passed a dead Canadian Highlander, whose kilt had pitched forward
when he fell, and seemed to be covering his face.
In the first village we came to, they halted us, and we saw it was
a dressing-station. The village was in ruins--even the town pump
had had its head blown off!--and broken glass, pieces of brick, and
plaster littered the one narrow street. The dressing was done in
a two-room building which may have been a store. The walls were
discolored and cracked, and the windows broken.
On a stretcher in the corner there lay a Canadian Highlander, from
whose wounds the blood dripped horribly and gathered in a red pool
on the dusty floor. His eyes were glazed and his face was drawn with
pain. He talked unceasingly, but without meaning. The only thing I
remember hearing him say was, "It's no use, mother--it's no use!"
Weller was attended to before I was, and marched on. While I sat
there on an old tin pail which I had turned up for this purpose, two
German officers came in, whistling. They looked for a minute at the
dying Highlander in the corner, and one of them went over to him. He
saw at once that his case was hopeless, and gave a short whistle as
you do when blowing away a thistledown, indicating that he would soon
be gone. I remember thinking that this was the German estimate of
human life.
He came to me and said, "Well, what have you got?"
I thought he referred to my wound, and said, "A shoulder wound." At
which he laughed pleasantly and said, "I am not interested in your
wound; that's the doctor's business." Then I saw what he meant; it
was souvenirs he was after. So I gave him my collar badge, and in
return he gave me a German coin, and went over to the doctor and said
something about me, for he flipped his finger toward me.
My turn came at last. The doctor examined my pay-book as well as my
wound. I had forty-five francs in it, and when he took it out, I
thought it was gone for sure. However, he carefully counted it before
me, drawing my attention to the amount, and then returned it to me.
After my wound had been examined and a tag put on me stating what
sort of treatment I was to have, I was taken away with half a dozen
others and led down a narrow stone stair to a basement. Here on the
cement floor were piles of straw, and the place was heated. The walls
were dirty and discolored. One of the few pleasant recollections
of my life in Germany has been the feeling of drowsy content that
wrapped me about when I lay down on a pile of straw in that dirty,
rat-infested basement. I forgot that I was a prisoner, that I was
badly winged, that I was hungry, thirsty, dirty, and tired. I forgot
all about my wounded companions and the Canadian Highlander, and all
the suffering of the world, and drifted sweetly out into the wide
ocean of sleep.
Some time during the night--for it was still dark--I felt some one
kicking my feet and calling me to get up, and all my trouble and
misery came back with a rush. My shoulder began to ache just where it
left off, but I was so hungry that the thought of getting something
to eat sustained me. Surely, I thought, they are going to feed us!
We were herded along the narrow street, out into a wide road, where
we found an open car which ran on light rails in the centre of the
road. It was like the picnic trolley cars which run in our cities
in the warm weather. There were wounded German soldiers huddled
together, and we sat down among them, wherever we could find the
room, but not a word was spoken. I don't know whether they noticed
who we were or not--they had enough to think about, not to be
concerned with us, for most of them were terribly wounded. The one
I sat beside leaned his head against my good shoulder and sobbed as
he breathed. I could not help but think of the irony of war that had
brought us together. For all I knew, he may have been the machine
gunner who had been the means of ripping my shoulder to pieces--and
it may have been a bullet from my rifle which had torn its way along
his leg which now hung useless. Even so, there was no hard feeling
between us, and he was welcome to the support of my good shoulder!
Some time through the night--my watch was broken and I couldn't tell
the time exactly--we came to another village and got off the car. A
guard came and carried off my companion, but as I could walk, I was
left to unload myself. The step was high, and as my shoulder was very
stiff and sore, I hesitated about jumping down. A big German soldier
saw me, understood what was wrong, and lifted me gently down.
It was then nearly morning, for the dawn was beginning to show in the
sky, and we were taken to an old church, where we were told to lie
down and go to sleep. It was miserably cold in the church, and my
shoulder ached fearfully. I tried hard to sleep, but couldn't manage
it, and walked up and down to keep warm. I couldn't help but think
of the strange use the church--which had been the scene of so many
pleasant gatherings--was being put to, and as I leaned against the
wall and looked out of the window, I seemed to see the gay and
light-hearted Belgian people who so recently had gathered there.
Right here, I thought, the bashful boys had stood, waiting to walk
home with the girls... just the way we did in British Columbia, where
one church I know well stands almost covered with the fragrant
pines...
I fell into a pleasant reverie then of sunny afternoons and dewy
moonlit nights, when the sun had gone over the mountains, and the
stars came out in hundreds. My dream then began to have in it the
brightest-eyed girl in the world, who gave me such a smile one Sunday
when she came out of church... that I just naturally found myself
walking beside her.... She had on a pink suit and white shoes, and
wore a long string of black beads...
Then somebody spoke to me, and a sudden chill seized me and sent me
into a spasm of coughing, and the pain of my shoulder shot up into my
head like a knife... and I was back--all right--to the ruined church
in Belgium, a prisoner of war in the hands of the Germans!
The person who spoke to me was a German cavalry officer, who quite
politely bade me good-morning and asked me how I felt. I told him I
felt rotten. I was both hungry and thirsty--and dirty and homesick.
He laughed at that, as if it were funny, and asked me where I came
from. When I told him, he said, "You Canadians are terrible fools to
fight with us when you don't have to. You'll be sick of it before you
are through. Canada is a nice country, though," he went on; "I've
been in British Columbia, too, in the Government employ there--they
treated me fine--and my brother is there now, engineer in the
Dunsmuir Collieries at Ladysmith. Great people--the Canadians!"
And he laughed again and said something in German to the officer who
was with him.
When the sun came up and poured into the church, warming up its cold
dreariness, I lay down and slept, for I had not nearly finished the
sleep so comfortably begun in the basement the night before.
But in what seemed like three minutes, some one kicked my feet and
called to me to get up. I got to my feet, still spurred by the hope
of getting something to eat. Outside, all those who could walk were
falling in, and I hastened to do the same. Our guards were mounted
this time, and I noticed that their horses were small and in poor
condition. We were soon out of the village and marching along a
splendid road.
The day was bright and sunny, but a searching wind blew straight
in our faces and made travelling difficult. It seemed to beat
unmercifully on my sore shoulder, and I held my right wrist with
my left hand, to keep the weight off my shoulder all I could.
I had not gone far when I began to grow weak and dizzy. The thirst
was the worst; my tongue was dry and swollen, and it felt like a
cocoa doormat. I could see rings of light wherever I looked, and
the ground seemed to come up in waves. A guard who rode near me had
a water-bottle beside him which dripped water. The cork was not in
tight as it should have been, and the sight of these drops of water
seemed to madden me. I begged him for a drink, and pointed to my
parched tongue; but he refused, and rode ahead as if the sight of
me annoyed him!
Ahead of us I could see the smoke of a large town, and I told myself
over and over again that there would be lots of water there, and food
and clean clothes, and in this way I kept myself alive until we
reached Roulers.