NO. XXVI.--THE LADY SHOPKEEPER.

Ladies who, in order to correct the inequalities of fortune, or to

counteract a spendthrift husband, have betaken themselves to the

keeping of shops, form a large and rapidly-increasing body. In times

so ancient as to be scarcely within the memory of a juvenile dowager,

it was held by the high dry exponents of aristocratic privilege that

to touch trade, even when it proffered a bag of money in a well-gloved

hand, was to be defiled beyond the restoring power of a Belgravian

Duchess. To be sure, even the highest and the driest of these censors

contrived to close an indulgent eye when a moneyless scion of nobility

sought to prop his tottering house by rebuilding it upon a commercial

foundation, and cementing it with the dower of a "tradesman's"

daughter. But if these blameless ones, whose exclusive dust has long

since been consigned to family vaults with appropriate inscriptions,

could have foreseen the dreadful inroads of the trading spirit, if

in a moment of prophetic rapture they could have watched the painful

decay of caste which permits a lady to dabble in bonnets, to toy with

the making of fancy frames, to cut dresses almost like a dressmaker,

and, horror of horrors, to send in bills to her customers, surely

they would have refrained from the tomb in order to stem the tide of

advancing demoralisation. But they are dead, and we who remain are

left to deal as best we may with the uncompromising spirit of the age.

[Illustration]

It is absolutely essential to the proper production of a Lady

Shopkeeper that she should have been at one time both affluent and

socially distinguished. If to these qualities she can add the supreme

advantage of good looks and a modest demeanour, her career is certain

to be a prosperous and a rapid one. If, finally, she has been mated

to a husband who, having long ago spent his own cash, contrives in

a short time to run a best on record through hers, if he is a good

fellow of a sort, with a capacity for making friends which is as large

as his generosity in staking money, she may be sure that no element

will be wanting to her success. It is of course unnecessary that she

should have served any apprenticeship to the trade that she ultimately

adopts. When, after some glittering seasons of horses and footmen

and brilliant parties, the crash comes upon the little household, her

friends will be called into council. Some will recommend a retired

life in a distant suburb, where it is currently reported that £250 a

year may be made to play the part of £2,000 in the heart of May Fair.

Others will hint that governesses have been known, after years of

painful labour, to lay by a sufficiency for a short old age; others,

again, will dive into the storehouse of their reminiscences, in order

to produce for inspection the well-known example of a colonel and

his wife, who defied both the fates and the rheumatism in the modest

_pension_ of a Continental watering-place. All these suggestions,

however, are eventually put aside in favour of the advice that a

shop should be started, a _nom de commerce_ adopted, and a circle of

friendly customers be acquired by discreet advertisement. After these

matters have been decided, but not till then, it becomes necessary

to determine to what special branch the talents of the prospective

Shopkeeper are to be devoted. At last even this is accomplished,

and in a few months more the world of fashion may learn by private

circular or public paragraph, that a new competitor for its favours

has been launched into commercial activity under a sweetly symbolical

name.

After this everything depends upon the Lady herself. At first

everything will go swimmingly. Friends will rally round her, and she

may perhaps discover with a touching surprise that the staunchest and

truest are those of whom, in her days of brilliant prosperity, she

thought the least. But a _succès d'estime_ is soon exhausted. Unless

she conducts her business on purely business lines, delivers her

goods when they are wanted, and, for her own protection, sends in her

accounts as they fall due, and looks carefully after their payment,

her customers and her profits will fall away. But if she attends

strictly to business herself, or engages a good business woman to

assist her, and orders her affairs in accordance with the dictates of

a proper self-interest, she is almost certain to do well, and to reap

the reward of those who face the world without flinching, and fight

the battle of life sturdily and with an honest purpose. Some painful

moments may fall to her lot. It may be that in a crowded assemblage

of wealth and fashion she may see one of her masterpieces in the

dress-making art, torn into shreds under the clumsy heel of a Cabinet

Minister, or a Duchess may speak unkindly in her hearing of her latest

devices in floral decoration. Or, some brainless nincompoop may,

in his ignorance of her profession, cast aspersions on the general

character and behaviour of all who keep shops. And it may be that

friends, after a prolonged period of non-payment, will desert her, and

speak ill of her business. But she will be able to console herself for

those and similar bitternesses by the knowledge that on the whole the

world honours those who battle against ill-fortune without complaint

far above the needy crowd of spongers who strive to batten without

effort on the crumbs that fall from the tables of the rich.

* * * * *

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, July 4, 1891 · 第 27 / 42 题