_Kelt and Salted._--It may be true, as you have heard, that Mr.
STANDISH O'GRADY intends to supplement his series of Ossianic stories,
_Finn and his Companions_, by a work entitled _Fin an' Haddock_. But,
we confess, the story seems a little fishy.
_A Brummagem Spoon._--You are quite wrong. The creation of the
character of _Rip Van Winkle_ was, in point of time, far anterior to
the invention of the Self-working Noiseless Screw. Mr. CHAMBERLAIN'S
playful application of the term to Lord HARTINGTON did not imply any
proprietorship in the article. The right hon. gentleman was under the
impression that he had come across the character in the course of his
reading of DICKENS' Christmas stories, and, wanting to say something
nice of his noble friend, he just mentioned it. It led to some
misunderstanding at the time, but has now been forgotten. See our
answer to "Three Cows and an Acre" in the Christmas Number.
_Residuary Legatee._--Certainly you may recover, especially if you can
get A. to refund the money. Don't hesitate to sue. We make a practice
of never accepting fees. The 6_s._ 8_d._ you enclosed (in stamps,
postal order preferable) we shall, at the first opportunity, place in
the Poor Box.
_Perplexed._--What do you mean by asking us to tell you "If a herring
and a-half costs three hapence, how much will a dozen run you in for?"
This is just one of those simple problems you can solve for yourself
on reference to an ordinary book of arithmetic. Do you suppose we
sit here to save the time of idle persons? Our mission is to supply
information drawn from authorities not accessible to the average
subscriber.
_Algernon and Sibyl._--Consult Sir GEORGE LEWIS, Ely Place, Holborn,
E.C. We never advise on delicate subjects such as yours. It is
impossible for us to reply to correspondents through the post. Our
motto is _Audi altem parterem_. As the lady may not be familiar
with the dead languages, we may perhaps do well to translate. Freely
rendered, it means, "We desire that all parties (_altem parterem_) may
hear and profit by our advice."
_One-who-has-had-no-rest-to-speak-of-for-fifteen-years-owing-to-neuralgic-
pains-and-a-next-door-neighbour-who-plays-the-piano-night-and-day._--No.
_Beyond the Dreams of Avarice._--Your record of an incident in the
early life of Mr. W. ASTOR is very interesting. "Musing by the waters
of the mighty Hudson he," you say, "conceived the ambition of becoming
one of the richest men in the world." It is pleasing to know that his
recent entrance upon journalistic enterprise is likely to realise his
boyhood's dream.
_Advertisement Agent._--There is, we fear, no opening for you in this
direction. "Silonio" is not the name of a new shaving soap, as you
surmise. It is the title of honour given by the delegates of a remote
but respectable African race to a great and good British statesman.
Its literal translation into the English tongue is, we are informed,
"Open-mouthed."
_A Subscriber for Seventy Years._--Your poem, commencing,
DIGGLE DIGGLE den,
How is Brother BENN?
Really, Mr. RILEY,
Ain't you rather wily?
is perhaps a little monotonous in its interrogative form. But it is
not without merit, especially from one of your advanced age. A
fatal objection is that it should be out of date. The School-Board
Elections, we are glad to say, were completed a fortnight ago. Try
again--for some other paper.
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