[Yale _v._ Princeton University. "Before the game commenced an
Inspector of police, who was on the ground, addressed the two
teams, and cautioned them against violent play. This warning
is without precedent in the history of the University
contests."--_Reuter._]
[Illustration]
SCENE--_Queen's Club. Oxford and Cambridge Football Match.
Teams undergoing modern torture of ordeal by photograph. Enter_
Police-Inspector, _rampant, supported by two Peelers proper. He
"addresses the two teams":_--
I'm an Inspector bold, yet wary,
So, gents, you must all take care,
For I'm here to boss this battle,
And see that you all fight fair.
Now fisting, and scragging, and hacking,
Are all fair enough, we say,
But if gents exceed the limits
Of legitimate violent play,
We'll run them in, we'll run them in,
As sure as we're standing here,
We'll run them in, we'll run them in,
For the Peeler knows no fear!
Of course you may fight each other,
But you mustn't attack the crowd,
For we can't have unlimited bloodshed,
And weapons are not allowed.
So, gents, I must kindly ask you
To enter the field without
Your bludgeons and knives and pistols,
Or else, beyond all doubt,
We'll run you in, &c., &c.
[_Teams join in chorus. Exit_ Inspector _to look after ambulance
arrangements._
* * * * *