_Round I._--Both men advanced, confident, but cautious. After sparring
for an opening, the Proser landed lightly on the jaw with,--"When
the Duke of DASHBURY did me the honour to ask me to his Grace's
noble deer-forest." He ducked to avoid the return, but the Hampshire
Champion would not be denied, and placed two heavy fish-stories fair
in the bread-basket. The Proser swung round a vicious right-hander
anecdote about a stag shot at 250 yards, but the blow fell short,
and he was fairly staggered by two in succession ("the tree-climbing
rabbit," and "the Marquis of DULLFIELD'S gaiters"), delivered straight
on the mouth. First blood for the Dullard. After some hard exchanges
they closed, and fell, the Dullard underneath.
_Round II._--Both blowing a good deal. The Proser put up his Dukes,
and let fly with both of them, one after another, at the Dullard's
conk, drawing claret profusely. Nothing daunted, the Dullard watched
his opportunity, and delivered a first-class Royal Prince on the
Proser's right eye, half closing that optic. The men now closed, but
broke away again almost directly. Some smart fibbing, in which neither
could claim an advantage, ensued. The round was brought to a close by
some rapid exchanges, after which the Proser went down. Betting 6 to 4
on the Dullard.
_Round III., and last._--Proser's right peeper badly swollen, the
Dullard gory, and a bit groggy, but still smiling. Proser opened with
a ricochet, which did great execution, but was countered heavily when
he attempted to repeat the trick, the Dullard all but knocking him
off his legs with a fifty-pound salmon. After some slight exchanges
they began a hammer-and-tongs game, in which Proser scored heavily.
Dullard, however, pulled himself together for a final rush. They met
in the middle of the ring, and both fell heavily. As neither was able
to rise, the fight was drawn. Both men were heavily damaged, and were
carried away with their jaws broken.
There you have the story. The actual result was that these two
ponderous bores all but did one another to death. So exhausted
were they by the terrible conflict, that our comfort was not again
disturbed by them during this particular visit. We were lucky, though
at first we scarcely saw it, in getting two evenly matched ironclad
bores together. If we had had only one, the matter would have been far
more difficult.
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[Illustration: THE SERPENT'S TOOTH.
"DIDN'T I SEND 'IM TO HETON AN' HOXFORD? DIDN'T I SEND 'IM INTO THE
HARMY, ALONG O' SOME O' THE BIGGEST NOBS IN ALL HENGLAND, WITH AN
ALLOWANCE FIT FOR A YOUNG HEARL? AND WHAT'S THE HUPSHOT OF IT ALL?
WHY, HE GIVES DINNERS TO DOOKS AND ROYAL 'IGHNESSES, AN' DON'T EVEN
HARSK 'IS PORE OLD FATHER TO MEET 'EM. 'IGHNESSES, INDEED! I COULD BUY
UP THE 'OLE BLESSED LOT! AND, _WHAT'S MORE, I WOULDN'T MIND TELLIN'
'EM SO TO THEIR FACES, FOR TWO PINS!--AH! JUST AS SOON AS LOOK AT
'EM--AND 'E KNOWS IT!_"]
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