_Timid Ratepayer loquitur:--_
O lor! O dear! What have we here? What a nondescript, huge
NID-NODDY!
None know, I'm sure, what _I_ have to endure. It's enough to
frighten a body!
They are always up to some queer new game, and a giving me some
fresh master;
But this one is a _crux_ from the sole of his foot to the crown of
his comical castor.
He looks as big as all out-of-doors, and e'en BUMBLE was hardly as
bumptious.
He'd make my London a Paradise, which is a prospect that's
perfectly scrumptious.
But oh! he _is_ big, with the funniest rig; a Titan who, if he
_should_ tumble,
Might squelch me as flat as an opera-hat, and make me regret old
BUMBLE.
Noodledom ruled me for many long years; this means, I am told, a
new Era;
But bad as a Booby may be as a Boss, what about a colossal Chimæra?
I don't say he's that, but with body of goat, dragon's tail, and
the head of a lion,
A creature were hardly more "mixed" than _this_ monster, whose
rule for the time I must try on.
A complex, conglomerate, Jack-of-all-Trades! Well, I trust he'll
be master of some of them!
_Largo al factotum_! He's game for all tasks, and--I wish I was
sure what would come of them.
Most representative? Palpable that! And his plans most sublime (so
he says) are;
But he looks just as motley a nondescript as the image of
Nebuchadnezzar.
The elephant who can root up a huge oak, or handle a needle or
pin, is
Less marvellous much, and it may be, of course, that the folks who
distrust him are ninnies.
I hope so, I'm sure. There are evils to cure, and of room for
improvement there's plenty;
And all must admit that, whatever his faults, he cannot be called
_far niente_.
He _does_ look a bit of a Bogey, but then he _may_ prove just a
big Benefactor,
And if he should work on the cheap, kill Corruption, and kick out
the knavish Contractor,
Without piling Pelion on Ossa (of rates) on my back, till my legs
with the "tottle" limp,
I _shall_ "learn to love him" as Giant Beneficent, not a big,
blundering Bottle-Imp!
* * * * *
OPERA-GOER'S DIARY.--_Otello_ (the Grand Otello Company, Limited) was
the feature last week. GIANINI a stout _Otello_, much and Moor. MELBA
a charming _Desdemona_, but not a great part for her. DUFRICHE as
_Iago_, good, but not good enough for _him_. Sir DRURIOLANUS gives
_Carmen_ at Windsor Castle, before the QUEEN! Aha! Where now is
LAGO Factotum and His Special Patronaged Royal Box at the Olympic?
DRURIOLANUS Victor, with all the honours.
* * * * *