That the deepest learning, without good breeding, is unwelcome and
tiresome pedantry, and of use nowhere but in a man's own closet; and,
consequently, of little or no use at all.
That a man who is not perfectly well-bred, is unfit for good company,
and therefore unwelcome in it; will consequently dislike it soon,
afterwards renounce it, and be reduced to solitude, or, what is
considerably worse, low and bad company.
_IV.--The Fruits of Observation_
_London, September 22_, 1752. The day after the date of my last, I
received your letter of the 8th. I approve extremely of your intended
progress. I would have you see everything with your own eyes, and hear
everything with your own ears, for I know, by very long experience, that
it is very unsafe to trust to other people's, Vanity and interest cause
many misrepresentations, and folly causes many more. Few people have
parts enough to relate exactly and judiciously; and those who have, for
some reason or other, never fail to sink or to add some circumstances.
The reception which you have met with at Hanover I look upon as an omen
of your being well-received everywhere else, for, to tell you the truth,
it was the place that I distrusted the most in that particular. But
there is a certain conduct, there are _certaines manières_, that will,
and must, get the better of all difficulties of that kind. It is to
acquire them that you still continue abroad, and go from court to court;
they are personal, local, and temporal; they are modes which vary, and
owe their existence to accidents, whim, and humour. All the sense and
reason in the world would never point them out; nothing but experience,
observation, and what is called knowledge of the world can possibly
teach them.
This knowledge is the true object of a gentleman's travelling, if he
travels as he ought to do. By frequent good company in every country he
himself becomes of every country; he is no longer an Englishman, a
Frenchman, or an Italian; but he is a European. He adopts respectively
the best manners of every country, and is a Frenchman at Paris, an
Italian at Rome, an Englishman at London.
This advantage, I must confess, very seldom accrues to my countrymen
from their travelling, as they have neither the desire nor the means of
getting into good company abroad; for, in the first place, they are
confoundedly bashful; and, in the next place, they either speak no
foreign language at all, or, if they do, it is barbarously. You possess
all the advantages that they want; you know the languages in perfection,
and have constantly kept the best company in the places where you have
been, so that you ought to be a European.
There is, in all good company, a fashionable air, countenance, manner,
and phraseology, which can only be acquired by being in good company,
and very attentive to all that passes there. There is a certain
distinguishing diction of a man of fashion; he will not content himself
with saying, like John Trott, to a new-married man, "Sir, I wish you
joy"--or to a man who lost his son, "Sir I am sorry for your loss," and
both with a countenance equally unmoved; but he will say in effect the
same thing in a more elegant and less trivial manner, and with a
countenance adapted to the occasion. He will advance with warmth,
vivacity, and a cheerful countenance to the new-married man, and,
embracing him, perhaps say to him, "If you do justice to my attachment
to you, you will judge of the joy that I feel upon this occasion better
than I can express it." To the other, in affliction, he will advance
slowly, with a grave composure of countenance, in a more deliberate
manner, and with a lower voice perhaps, say, "I hope you do me the
justice to be convinced that I feel whatever you feel, and shall ever be
affected where you are concerned."
_V.--On the Arts_
Mr. Harte tells me that he intends to give you, by means of Signor
Vincentini, a general notion of civil and military architecture; with
which I am very well pleased. They are frequent subjects of
conversation. I would also have you acquire a liberal taste of the two
liberal arts of painting and sculpture. All these sorts of things I
would have you know, to a certain degree; but remember that they must
only be the amusements, and not the business, of a man of parts.
As you are now in a musical country [Italy], where singing, fiddling,
and piping are not only the common topics of conversation but almost the
principal objects of attention, I cannot help cautioning you against
giving in to those--I will call them illiberal--pleasures, though music
is commonly reckoned one of the liberal arts, to the degree that most of
your countrymen do when they travel in Italy. If you love music, hear
it; go to operas, concerts, and pay fiddlers to play to you, but I
insist upon your neither piping nor fiddling yourself. It puts a
gentleman in a very frivolous, contemptible light, brings him into a
great deal of bad company, and takes up a great deal of time which might
be much better employed.
I confess I cannot help forming some opinion of a man's sense and
character from his dress, and I believe most people do as well as
myself. A man of sense carefully avoids any particular character in his
dress; he is accurately clean for his own sake; but all the rest is for
other people's. He dresses as well, and in the same manner, as the
people of sense and fashion of the place where he is. If he dresses
better, as he thinks, that is, more than they, he is a fop; if he
dresses worse, he is unpardonably negligent; but of the two, I would
rather have a young fellow too much than too little dressed--the excess
on that side will wear off with a little age; but if he is negligent at
twenty, he will be a sloven at forty, and stink at fifty years old.
As to the genius of poetry, I own, if Nature has not given it you, you
cannot have it, for it is a true maxim that _Poeta nascitur non fit_. It
is much otherwise with oratory, and the maxim there is _Orator fit_, for
it is certain that by study and application every man can make himself a
pretty good orator, eloquence depending upon observation and care. Every
man, if he pleases, may choose good words instead of bad ones, may speak
properly instead of improperly, may be clear and perspicuous in his
recitals instead of dark and muddy, may have grace instead of
awkwardness in his motions and gestures, and, in short, may be a very
agreeable instead of a very disagreeable speaker if he will take care
and pains. And surely it is very well worth while to take a great deal
of pains to excel other men in that particular article in which they
excel beasts.
That ready wit, which you so partially allow me, and so justly Sir
Charles Williams, may create many admirers; but, take my word for it, it
makes few friends. It shines and dazzles like the noonday sun, but, like
that, too, is very apt to scorch, and therefore is always feared. The
milder morning and evening light and heat of that planet soothe and calm
our minds. Never seek for wit; if it presents itself, well and good; but
even in that case, let your judgement interpose, and take care that it
be not at the expense of anybody.
* * * * *