On looking at this homoeopathic treatment of the 3-1/8
quadrature--remember, homoeopathic, _similia similibus_,[390] not
infinitesimal--and at the imputation thrown upon it, I asked myself, what
_is_ vulgarity? No two agree, except in this, that every one sees vulgarity
in what is directed against himself. Mark the world, and see if anything be
so common as the description of the other side's remarks as "vulgar attempt
at wit." "I suppose you think that very witty:" the answer is "No my
friend! your remark shows that you feel it as wit, so that the purpose is
answered; I keep my razor for something else than cutting blocks;" I am
inclined to think that "out of place" is a necessary attribute of true
vulgarity. And further, it is to be noticed that nothing is {244}
unproducible--_salvo pudore_[391]--which has classical authority, modern or
ancient, in its favor. "He is a vulgar fellow; I asked him what he was
upon, and what do you think he answered, My legs!"--"Well, and has he not
justification? what do you find in Terence? _Quid agitur? Statur._"[392] I
do not even blench from my principle where I find that it brings what is
called "taking a sight" within permissible forms of expression: Rabelais
not only establishes its antiquity, but makes it English. Our old
translation[393] has it thus (book 2. ch. 19):
"Then made the Englishman this sign. His left hand, all open, he lifted up
into the air, then instantly shut into his fist the four fingers thereof;
and his thumb extended at length he placed upon the tip of his nose.
Presently after he lifted up his right hand all open and abased and bent it
downwards, putting the thumb thereof in the very place where the little
finger of the left hand did close in the fist, and the four right hand
fingers he softly moved in the air. Then contrarily he did with the right
hand what he had done with the left, and with the left what he had done
with the right."
An impressive sight! The making of a fist of the left hand is a great
addition of power, and should be followed in modern practice. The gentle
sullation of the front fingers, with the clenched fist behind them, says as
plainly as possible, Put _suaviter in modo_ in the van, but don't forget to
have _fortiter in re_[394] in the rear.
{245}
My Budget was announced (March 23, 1867) for completion on the 30th. Mr.
James Smith wrote five letters, one before the completion, four after it;
the five contained 68 pages of quarto letter paper. Mr. J. S. had picked up
a clerical correspondent, with whom he was in the heat of battle.
"_March 27._--Dear Sir. Very truly yours. Duty; for my own sake; just time
left to retrieve my errors; sends copy of letter to clergyman; new proof
never before thought of; merest tyro would laugh if I were to stifle it,
whether by rhodomontade or silent contempt; keep your temper. I shall be
convinced; and if world be right in supposing me incapable of a foul act, I
shall proclaim glorious discovery in the _Athenaeum_.
"_April 15._--Sir,... My dear Sir, Your sincere tutelary. Copy of another
letter to clergyman; discovery tested by logarithms; reasons such as none
but a knave or a sinner can resist. Let me advise you to take counsel
before it is too late! Keep your temper. Let not your _pride_ get the
better of your discretion! Screw up your courage, my good friend, and
_resolve_ to show the world that you are an _honest_ man....
"_April 20._--Sir ... Your very sincere and favorite tutelary. I have long
played the _cur_, snapping and snarling...; suddenly lost my power, and
became _half-starved_ dog without _spirit_ to bark; try if air cannot
restore me; calls himself the _thistle_ in allusion to my other tutelary,
the _thorn_; Would I prefer his next work to be, 'A whip for the
Mathematical Cur, Prof. De M.' In some previous letter which I have
mislaid, he told me his next would be 'a muzzle for the Mathematical Bull
dog, Prof. De M.'
"_April 23._--Sir. Very sincerely yours. More letters to clergyman; you may
as well knock your head against a stone wall to improve your intellect as
attempt to controvert my proofs. [I thought so too; and tried neither].
{246}
"_May 6._--My dear Sir. Very sincerely yours. All to myself, and nothing to
note.
"_July 2._--No more in this interval. All that precedes is a desperate
attempt to induce me to continue my descriptions: notoriety at any price."
I dare say the matter is finished: the record of so marked an instance of
self-delusion will be useful.
I append to the foregoing a letter from Dr. Whewell[395] to Mr. James
Smith. The Master of Trinity was conspicuous as a rough customer, an
intellectual bully, an overbearing disputant: the character was as well
established as that of Sam Johnson. But there was a marked difference. It
was said of Johnson that if his pistol missed fire, he would knock you down
with the butt end of it: but Whewell, in like case, always acknowledged the
miss, and loaded again or not, as the case might be. He reminded me of
Dennis Brulgruddery, who says to Dan, Pacify me with a good reason, and
you'll find me a dutiful master. I knew him from the time when he was my
teacher at Cambridge, more than forty years. As a teacher, he was anything
but dictatorial, and he was perfectly accessible to proposal of objections.
He came in contact with me in his slashing way twice in our after joint
lives, and on both occasions he acknowledged himself overcome, by that
change of manner, and apologetic mode of continuance, which I had seen him
employ towards others under like circumstances.
I had expressed my wish to have a _thermometer of probability_, with
impossibility at one end, as 2 and 2 make 5, and necessity at the other, as
2 and 2 make 4, and a graduated rise of examples between them. Down came a
blow: "What! put necessary and contingent propositions together! It's
absurd!" I pointed out that the two kinds of necessity are but such
extremes of probability as 0 and [infinity] are of number, and illustrated
by an urn with 1 white and _n_ black {247} balls, _n_ increasing without
limit. It was frankly seen, and the point yielded; a large company was
present.
Again, in a large party, after dinner, and politics being the subject, I
was proceeding, in discussion with Mr. Whewell, with "I think"...--"Ugh!
_you_ think!" was the answer. I repeated my phrase, and gave as a reason
the words which Lord Grey[396] had used in the House of Lords the night
before (the celebrated advice to the Bishops to set their houses in order).
He had not heard of this, and his manner changed in an instant: he was the
rational discutient all the rest of the evening, having previously been
nothing but a disputant with all the distinctions strongly marked.
I have said that Whewell was gentle with his pupils; it was the same with
all who wanted teaching: it was only on an armed enemy that he drew his
weapon. The letter which he wrote to Mr. J. Smith is an instance: and as it
applies with perfect fidelity to the efforts of unreasoning above
described, I give it here. Mr. James Smith is skilfully exposed, and felt
it; as is proved by "putting the writer in the stocks."
"The Lodge, Cambridge, September 14th, 1862.
"Sir,--I have received your explanation of your proposition that the
circumference of the circle is to its diameter as 25 to 8. I am afraid I
shall disappoint you by saying that I see no force in your proof: and I
should hope that you will see that there is no force in it if you consider
this: In the whole course of the proof, though the word cycle occurs, there
is no property of the circle employed. You may do this: you may put the
word _hexagon_ or _dodecagon_, or any other word describing a polygon in
the place of _Circle_ in your proof, and the proof would be just as good as
before. Does not this satisfy you that you cannot have proved a property of
that special figure--a circle? {248}
"Or you may do this: calculate the side of a polygon of 24 sides inscribed
in a circle. I think you are a Mathematician enough to do this. You will
find that if the radius of the circle be one, the side of this polygon is
.264 etc. Now, the arc which this side subtends is according to your
proposition 3.125/12 = .2604, and therefore the chord is greater than its
arc, which you will allow is impossible.
"I shall be glad if these arguments satisfy you, and
"I am, Sir, your obedient Servant,
"W. WHEWELL."