As the curtain went down, a burst of applause rang through the room. The
poetry, if it could be called poetry, had assuredly not been of a high
order, and as for the sentiments it expressed, a good number of the
audience were more than usually shocked. But the whole thing had been
effective, unexpected, and striking, especially the ending, over which
the world smacked its lips.
"I do not like it at all," said Laura Carlyon to Arden, as they left the
seats where they had sat together through the little performance.
"They looked very well," he answered thoughtfully. "As for what he said,
it was Ghisleri. That is the man's character. He will talk in that way
while he does not believe a word he says, or only one out of ten."
"Then I do not like his character, nor him," returned the young lady,
frankly. "But I should not say it to you, dear, because he is your best
friend. He shows you all the good there is in him, I suppose, and he
shows us all the bad."
"No one ever said a truer thing of him," said Arden, limping along by
her side. "But I admire the man's careless strength in what he does."
"It is easy to use strong language," replied Laura, quietly. "It is
quite another thing to be strong. I believe he is weak, morally
speaking. But then, how should I know? One only guesses at such things,
after all."
"Yes, it is all guess-work. But I think I understand him better to-night
than before."
A moment later the sound of dance music came from the most distant and
the largest of the rooms. Ghisleri and the Contessa dell' Armi were
already there. She was so slight of figure, that she draped her nun's
dress over her gown, and had only to drop it to be herself again. They
took a first turn together, and Ghisleri talked softly all the time as
he danced.
"Shockingly delightful--the whole thing!" exclaimed Donna Adele,
watching them. "How well they acted it! They must have rehearsed very
often."
"Quite often enough, I have no doubt," said the Marchesa di San
Giacinto, with a laugh.
An hour or two passed away and Laura Carlyon found herself walking about
with Ghisleri after dancing with him. He was a very magnificent
personage in his scarlet, black and gold costume, and Laura herself
looked far more saintly in her evening gown than the Contessa dell' Armi
had looked in the dress of a nun. The two made a fine contrast, and some
one said so, unfortunately within hearing of both Adele Savelli and
Maddalena dell' Armi. The latter turned her cold face quickly and looked
at Laura and Ghisleri, but her expression did not change.
"What a very uncertain person that dear Ghisleri is!" observed Donna
Adele to Pietrasanta, as she noticed the Contessa's movement. She spoke
just so loud that the latter could hear her, then turned away with her
companion and walked in the opposite direction.
Meanwhile Ghisleri and Laura were together. The young girl felt an odd
sensation as her hand lay on his arm, as though she were doing something
wrong. She did not understand his life, nor him, being far too young and
innocent of life's darker thoughts and deeds. She had said that she
disliked him, because that seemed best to express what she felt--a
certain vague wish not to be too near him, a certain timidity when he
was within hearing which she did not feel at other times.
"You did not mean any of those things you said, did you, Signor
Ghisleri?" she asked, scarcely knowing why she put the question.
"I meant them all, and much more of the same kind," answered Pietro,
with a hard laugh.
"I am sorry--I would rather not believe it."
"Why?"
"Because it is not right to think such things, nor even to say them in a
play."
Ghisleri looked at her in some surprise. Laura felt a sort of impulse of
conscience to say what she thought.
"Ah! you are horribly good!" laughed Ghisleri, quoting his own verse.
Laura felt uncomfortable as she met his glance. He really looked very
Satanic just then, as his eyebrows went up and the deep lines deepened
between his eyes and on his forehead.
"Either one believes or one does not," she said. "If one does--" She
hesitated.
"If one does, does it follow that because God is good to you, He has
been good to me also, Miss Carlyon?"
His expression changed, and his voice was grave and almost sad. Laura
sighed almost inaudibly, but said nothing.
"Will you have anything?" he asked indifferently, after the short pause.
"A cup of tea?"
"Thanks, no. I think I will go to my mother."
Ghisleri took her to the Princess's side and left her.
"You seemed to be having a very interesting conversation with Miss
Carlyon just now," said the Contessa dell' Armi as he sat down beside
her a quarter of an hour later. "What were you talking about?"
"Sin," answered Ghisleri, laconically.
"With a young girl!" exclaimed the Contessa. "But then--English--"
"You need not raise your eyebrows, nor talk in that tone, my dear lady,"
replied Ghisleri. "Miss Carlyon is quite beyond sarcasms of that sort.
Since you are curious, she was telling me that it was sinful to say the
things you were good enough to listen to in the tableau, even in a
play."
"Ah? And you will be persuaded, I dare say. What beautiful eyes she has.
It is a pity she is so clumsy and heavily made. Really, has she got you
to promise that you will never say any of those things again--after the
way I ended the piece for you?"
"No. I have not promised to be good yet. As for your ending of the
performance, I confess I was surprised."
"You did not show it."
"It would hardly have been in keeping with my part, would it? But I can
show you that I am grateful at least."
"For what?" asked the Contessa, raising her eyebrows again. "Do you
think I meant anything by it?"
"Certainly not," replied Ghisleri, with the utmost calmness. "I suppose
your instinct told you that it would be more novel and effective if the
Saint yielded than if she played the old-fashioned scene of crushing the
devil under her foot."
"Would you have let yourself be crushed?"
"By you--yes." Ghisleri spoke slowly and looked steadily into her eyes.
The Contessa's face softened a little, and she paused before she
answered him.
"I wish I knew--I wish I were sure whether I really have any influence
over you," she said softly, and then sighed and looked away.
It was very late when the party broke up, though all had professed the
most positive intention of going home when the clock struck twelve. The
Princess of Gerano offered Arden a seat in her carriage, and Pietro
Ghisleri went away alone. As he passed through the deserted dining-room,
and through the hall where he had sat so long with the Contessa, he
could not help glancing at the corner where they had talked, and he
thought involuntarily of the prologue to the tableau. His face was set
rather sternly, but he smiled, too, as he went by.
"It is not my last Carnival yet," he said to himself, as he drew on a
great driving-coat which covered his costume completely. Then he went
out.
It is very hard to say whether he was a sentimental man or not. Men who
write second-rate verses when they are alone, generally are; but, on the
other hand, those who knew him would not have allowed that he possessed
a grain of what is commonly called sentimentality. The word probably
means a sort of vague desire to experience rather fictitious emotions,
with the intention of believing oneself to be passionate by nature, and
in that sense the weakness could not justly be attributed to Ghisleri.
But on this particular night he did a thing which many people would
undoubtedly have called sentimental. He turned aside from the highway
when he left the great palace in which Gouache lived, and he allowed
himself to wander aimlessly on through the older part of the city, until
he stopped opposite to the door of a church which stood in a broad
street near the end of the last by-way he had traversed. The night was
dark and gloomy and the stillness was only broken now and then by a
distant snatch of song, a burst of laughter, or the careless twang of a
guitar, just as Ghisleri had described it. Indeed it was by no means the
first time that he had walked home in the small hours of Ash Wednesday
morning, after a night of gaiety and emotion.
It chanced that the church upon which he had accidentally come was the
one known as the Church of Prayer and Death. It stands in the Via
Giulia, behind the Palazzo Farnese. He realised the fact at once, and it
seemed like a bad omen. He stood still a long time, looking at the
gloomy door with steady eyes.
"Just such a place as this," he said, in a low tone. "Just such a church
as that, just such a man as I am. Is this the comedy and was this
evening the reality? Or is it the other way?"
He called up before his eyes the scene in which he had acted, and his
imagination obeyed him readily enough. He could fancy how the monk and
the nun would look, and the train of revellers, and their movements and
gestures. But the nun's face was not that of the Contessa. Another shone
out vividly in its place.
"Just God!" ejaculated the lonely man. "Am I so bad as that? Not to care
after so much?"
He turned upon his heel as though to escape the vision, and walked
quickly away, hating himself. But he was mistaken. He cared--as he
expressed it--far more than he dreamed of, more deeply, perhaps, in his
own self-contradictory, irregular fashion than the woman of whom he was
thinking.
People talked for some time of the Shrove Tuesday feast at Gouache's
studio. Then they fell to talking about other things. Lent passed in the
usual way, and there was not much change in the lives of the persons
most concerned in this history. Ghisleri saw much less of Arden than
formerly, of course, as the latter was wholly absorbed by his passion
for his future wife. As for the world, it was as much occupied with
dinner parties, musical evenings, and private theatricals as it had
formerly been with dancing. The time sped quickly. The past season had
left behind it an enormous Corpus Scandalorum Romanorum which made
conversation both easy and delightful. How many of the unpleasant
stories concerning Lord Herbert Arden, Laura Carlyon, Pietro Ghisleri,
and Maddalena dell' Armi could have been distinctly traced to Adele
Savelli, it is not easy to say. As a matter of fact, very few persons
excepting Ghisleri himself took any trouble to trace them at all. To the
average worldly taste it is as unpleasant to follow up the origin of a
delightfully savoury lie, as it is to think, while eating, of the true
history of a beefsteak, from the meadow to the table by way of the
slaughter-house and the cook's fingers.
Holy week came, and the muffled bells and the silence in houses at other
times full and noisy, and the general air of depression which results,
most probably, from a certain amount of genuine repentance and devotion
which is felt in a place where by no means all are bad at heart, and
many are sincerely good. The gay set felt uncomfortable, and a certain
number experienced for the first time the most distinct aversion to
confessing their misdeeds, as they ought to do at least once a year. As
far as they were concerned, Ghisleri's verses expressed more truth than
they had expected to find in them. Ghisleri himself was rarely troubled
by any return of the qualm which had seized him before the door of the
Church of Prayer and Death, and never again in the same degree. If he
did not go on his way rejoicing, he at all events proceeded without
remorse, and was wicked enough and selfish enough to congratulate
himself upon the fact.
Arden and Laura were perfectly happy. They, at least, had little cause
to reproach themselves with any evil done in the world since they had
met, and Arden had assuredly better reason for congratulating himself.
It would indeed have been hard to find a happier man than he, and his
happiness was perfectly legitimate and well founded. Whether it would
prove durable was another matter, not so easy of decision. But the facts
of the present were strong enough to crush all apprehension for the
future. It was not strange that it should be so.
He could not be said to have led a lonely life. His family were deeply
attached to him, and from earliest boyhood everything had been done to
alleviate the moral suffering inevitable in his case, and to make his
material existence as bearable as possible, in spite of his terrible
infirmities. But for the unvarying sympathy of many loving hearts, and
the unrelaxing care of those who were sincerely devoted to him, Arden
could hardly have hoped to attain to manhood at all, much less to the
healthy moral growth which made him very unlike most men in his
condition, or the comparative health of body whereby he was able to
enjoy without danger much of what came in his way. He was in reality a
much more social and sociable man than his friend Ghisleri, though he
did not possess the same elements of success in society. He was, indeed,
sensitive, as has been said, in spite of his denial of the fact, but he
was not bitter about his great misfortune. Hitherto only one very
painful thought had been connected with his deformity, beyond the
constant sense of physical inferiority to other men. He had felt, and
not without reason, that he must renounce the love of woman and the hope
of wedded happiness, as being utterly beyond the bounds of all human
possibility. And now, as though Heaven meant to compensate him to the
full for the suffering inflicted and patiently borne, he had won, almost
without an effort, the devoted love of the first woman for whom he had
seriously cared. It was almost too good.
Love had taken him, and had clothed him in a new humanity, as it seemed
to him, straightening the feeble limbs, strengthening the poor
ill-matched shoulders, broadening and deepening the sunken chest that
never held breath enough before wherewith to speak out full words of
passionate happiness. Love had dawned upon the dusk of his dark morning
as the dawn of day upon a leaden sea, scattering unearthly blossoms in
the path of the royal sun, breathing the sweet breeze of living joy upon
the flat waters of unprofitable discontent.
To those who watch the changing world with its manifold scenes and its
innumerable actors, whose merest farce is ever and only the prologue to
the tragedy which awaits all, there is nothing more wonderful, nothing
more beautiful, nothing more touching--perhaps few things more
sacred--than the awakening of a noble heart at love's first magic touch.
The greater miracle of spring is done before our eyes each year, the sun
shines and the grass grows, it rains and all things are refreshed, and
the dead seed's heart breaks with the joy of coming life, bursts and
shoots up to meet the warmth of the sunshine and be kissed by the west
wind. But we do not see, or seeing, care for none of these things in the
same measure in which we care for ourselves--and perhaps for others. We
turn from the budding flower wearily enough at last, and we own that
though it speak to us and touch us, its language is all but strange and
its meaning wholly a mystery. Nature tells us little except by
association with hearts that have beaten for ours, and then sometimes
she tells us all. But the heart itself is the thing, the reality, the
seat of all our thoughts and the stay of all our being. Selfishly we see
what it does in ourselves, and in others we may see it and watch it
without thought of self. It is asleep to-day, lethargic, heavy, dull,
scarce moving in the breast that holds it. To-morrow it is awake,
leaping, breaking, splendidly alive, the very source of action, the
leader in life's fight, the conqueror of the whole opposing world,
bursting to-day the chains of which only yesterday it could not lift a
link, overthrowing now, with a touch, the barriers which once seemed so
impenetrable and so strong, scorning the deathlike inaction of the past,
tossing the mountains of impossibility before it as a child tosses
pebbles by the sea. The miracle is done, and love has done it, as only
love really can.
But it must be the right sort of love and the heart it touches must be
neither common nor unclean in the broad, true sense--such a heart, say,
as Herbert Arden's, and such love as he felt for Laura, then and
afterwards.
"My life began on the evening when I first met you, dear," he said, as
they sat by the open window on Easter Day, looking down at the flowers
on the terrace behind the Palazzo Braccio.
"You cannot make me believe that you loved me at first sight!" Laura
laughed happily.
"Why not?" he asked gravely. "No woman ever spoke to me as you did then,
and I felt it. Is it strange? But it hurt me, too, at first, and I used
to suffer during that first month."
"Let that be the first and the last pain you ever have by me," answered
the young girl. "I know you suffered, though I cannot even now tell why.
Can you?"
"Easily enough," said Arden, resting his chin upon his folded hands as
they lay upon the white marble sill of the window, scarcely less white
than they. The attitude was habitual to him when he was in that place.
He could not rest his elbow on the slab as Laura could, for he was too
short as he sat in his chair.
"Easily?" she asked. "Then tell me."
"Very easily. You can understand it too. When I knew that I loved you, I
knew--I believed, at least, that another suffering had been found for
me, as though I had not enough already. Of course, I was hopeless. How
could I tell, how could any one guess that you--you of all women--with
your beauty, your youth, your splendid woman's heart--could ever care
for me? Oh, my darling--dear, dearest--is there no other word? If I
could only tell you half!"
"If you could tell me all, you would only have told half, love," said
Laura. "There is mine to tell, too--and it is not a little." She bent
down to him and softly kissed the beautiful pale forehead.
The bright flush came to Arden's cheek and died away again in the happy
silence that followed. But he raised his head, and his two hands took
one of hers and gently covered it.
"You must always be the same to me," he said, almost under his breath.
"You have given me this new life--do not take it from me again--the old
would be impossible now, not to be lived."
"It need never be lived, it never shall be, if I live myself," answered
Laura. "If only I could make you sure of that, I should be really happy.
But you do not really doubt it, Herbert, do you?"
"No, dear, to doubt you would be to doubt everything--though it is hard
to believe that it can all be so good, and last."
"It does not seem hard to me. Perhaps a woman believes everything more
easily than a man does. She needs to believe more, I suppose, and so she
finds it easy."
"No woman ever needed to believe as much as I," answered Arden,
thoughtfully. He still held her hand, and passed one of his own lightly
over it, just pressing it now and then, as though to make sure that it
was real. "Except yourself, dear one," he added a moment later, with a
sharp, short breath, as though something hurt him.
Laura was quick to understand him, and to feel all that he felt. She
heard the little sigh and looked into his face and saw the expression of
something like pain there. She laid her free hand upon his shoulder and
gazed into his soft brown eyes.
"Herbert dear," she said, "I know what you are thinking about. I was put
into the world to make you forget those things, and, God willing, I
will. You shall forget them as completely as I do, or if you remember
them they shall be dear to you, in a way, as they are to me."
A wonderful look of loving gratitude was in his face, and he pressed her
fingers closely in his.
"Tell me one thing, Laura--only this once and I will not speak of it
again. When you touch me--when you lay your hand on my shoulder--when
you kiss my forehead--tell me quite truly, dear, do you not feel
anything like--like a sort of horror, a kind of repulsion, as if you
were touching something--well--unpleasant to touch?"
Poor Arden really did not know how much he was loved. Laura's deep eyes
opened wide for an instant, as he spoke, then almost closed again, and
her lips quivered. Then suddenly without warning the bright tears welled
up and overflowed. She hid her face in her hands and sobbed bitterly.
"Oh, Herbert," she cried, "that you should think it of me, when I love
you as though my heart would break!"
With a movement that would have cost him a painful effort at any other
time, Arden rose and clasped her to him and tried to soothe her,
caressing her thick black hair, and kissing her forehead tenderly, with
a sort of passionate reverence that was his own, and speaking such words
as came to his lips in the deep emotion of the moment.
"Forgive me, darling, how could I hurt you? Laura--sweetheart
Laura--beloved--do not cry--I know it now--I shall never think of it
again. No, dear, no--there, say you have forgiven me!"
"Forgiven you, dear--what is there to forgive?" She looked up with
streaming eyes.
"Everything, love--those tears of yours, first of all--"
She dried her eyes and made him sit down again before she spoke, looking
out of the window at the flowers.
"It is not your fault," she said at last. "I have not shown you how I
love yet--that is all. But I will, soon."
"You have shown it already, dear--far more than you know."
The world might have been surprised could it have seen the two
together--the tipsy cripple, as it called Arden, and the girl who loved
Francesco Savelli, as it unhesitatingly denominated Laura. It would have
been a little surprised at first, and then, on mature reflection, it
would have said that it was all a comedy, and that both acted it very
well. Was it not natural that Arden should want a pretty wife and that
Laura should take any husband that presented himself, since she could
get no better? And in that case why should not each act a comedy to gain
the other's hand? The world did that sort of thing every day, and what
the world did Arden and Laura could very well afford to do; and after
all, it was not of the slightest importance, since they were both going
away, so why should one talk about them? The answer to that last
question is so very hard to find that it may be left to those who put
it. Donna Adele seemed satisfied, and that was the principal
consideration for the present.
"My poor sister!" she exclaimed to Ghisleri one day.
"Step-sister," observed Pietro, correcting her.
"Oh, we were always quite like real sisters," answered Adele. "Of
course, my dear Ghisleri, I know what a splendid man Lord Herbert is, in
everything but his unfortunate deformity. Any one can see that in his
face, and besides, you would not have chosen him for your friend if he
were not immensely superior to other men."
Ghisleri puffed at his cigarette, looked at her, laughed, and puffed
again.
"But that one thing," continued Adele, "I cannot understand how she can
overlook it, can you? I assure you if my father had told me to marry
Lord Herbert, I should have done something quite desperate. I think I
should almost have refused. I would almost rather have had to marry
you."
"Really?" Pietro showed some amusement. "Do you think you could have
loved me in the end?" he inquired as though he were asking for
information of the most commonplace kind.
"Loved you?" Adele laughed rather unnaturally. "It would have been
something definite, at all events," she added. "Either love or hate."
"And you do not believe that your step-sister can ever love or hate
Arden? There is more in him than you imagine."
"I dare say, but not of the kind I should like. Besides, they say that
though he never drinks quite too much, he is sometimes very excited and
behaves and talks very strangely."
"They say that, do they? Who are 'they'?" Ghisleri's eyes suddenly grew
hard, and his jaw seemed to become extremely square.
"They? Oh, many people, of course. The world says so. Do not be so
dreadfully angry. What difference can it make to you? I never said that
he drank too much."
"If you should hear people talking about him in that way," said
Ghisleri, quietly, "you might say that the story is not true, since
there is really no truth in it at all. Arden is almost like an invalid.
He drinks a glass of hock at breakfast and a glass or two of claret at
dinner. I rarely see him touch champagne, and he never takes liqueurs.
As for his being excited and behaving strangely, that is a pure
fabrication. He is the quietest man I know."
"It is really of no use to be so impressive," answered Adele. "It makes
me uncomfortable."
"That is almost as disagreeable a thing as to meet a looking-glass when
one comes home at seven in the morning," observed Pietro. "Let us not
talk about it."
Donna Adele had gone as near as she dared to saying something
unpleasant about Lord Herbert Arden, and Ghisleri had checked her with a
wholesome shock. In his experience he had generally found that his words
carried weight with them, for some reason which he did not even attempt
to explain. If the truth were known, it would appear that Adele was at
that time much inclined to like Ghisleri, and was willing to sacrifice
even the pleasure of saying a sharp thing rather than offend him. The
short conversation here reported took place in her boudoir late in the
afternoon, and when Ghisleri went away his place was soon taken by the
Marchesa di San Giacinto--a lady of sufficiently good heart, but of too
ready tongue, with coal-black, sparkling eyes, and a dark complexion
relieved by a bright and healthy colour--rather a contrast to the rest
of the Montevarchi tribe.
"Pietro Ghisleri has been here," observed Adele, in the course of
conversation.
"To meet Maddalena, I suppose," laughed the Marchesa, not meaning any
harm.
"No. They did it once, and I told Pietro that I would not have that sort
of thing in my house," said Adele, with dignity.
As a matter of fact, she had not dared to say a word to Ghisleri on the
subject, but he and the Contessa had decided that Adele's drawing-room
was not a safe place for meeting, and it was quite true that they had
carefully avoided finding themselves there together ever since. But
Adele was well aware that Flavia San Giacinto and Ghisleri were by no
means intimate, and were not likely to exchange confidences; and though
the Marchesa was ready enough at repeating harmless tales in the world,
she was reticent with her husband, whom she really loved, and whose good
opinion she valued.
"Was he amusing?" asked Flavia. "He sometimes is."
"He was not to-day, but the conversation was. You know how intimate he
is with Laura's little lord?"
"Of course! What did he say?"
"And you remember the story about the champagne at the Gerano ball, when
he carried Arden out of the room and put him to bed?"
"Perfectly," answered the Marchesa, with a smile.
"Yes. Well, I pressed him very hard to-day, to find out what the little
man's habits really are. You see he is to be of the family, and we must
really find out. My dear, it is quite dreadful! He says positively that
Arden never touches liqueurs, but when I drove him to it, he had to
admit that he drinks all sorts of wines--Rhine wine, claret, burgundy,
champagne--everything! It is no wonder that it goes to his head, poor
little fellow. But I am sorry for Laura."
"After all," said Flavia, "one cannot blame him much, if he tries to be
a little gay. He must suffer terribly."
"Oh, no, one cannot blame him," assented Adele.
Flavia San Giacinto was somewhat amused, knowing, as she did, that Adele
had herself originated the tale about Lord Herbert. And late that
evening the temptation to repeat what she had heard became too strong
for her. She told it all in the strictest confidence to her dearest
friend, Donna Maria Boccapaduli. But Donna Maria was a little
absent-minded at the moment, her eldest boy having got a cold which
threatened to turn into whooping cough, and her husband having written
to her from the country, asking her to come down the next day and give
her advice about some necessary repairs in the castle.
On the following afternoon--it was still during Lent--she met the
Contessa dell' Armi on the steps of a church after hearing a sermon. The
Contessa was very pale and looked as though she had been crying.
"Only think, my dear," began Donna Maria. "It is quite true that Lord
Herbert drinks. Adele knows all about it."
"Does she?" asked the Contessa, indifferently enough. "How did she find
it out?"
"Ghisleri told her ever so many stories about it yesterday afternoon--in
the strictest confidence, you know."
"Indeed! I did not think that Signor Ghisleri was the sort of man who
gossiped about his friends. Good-bye, dear. I shall see more of you when
Lent is over."
Thereupon the Contessa got into the carriage with rather an odd
expression on her face. As she drove away alone, she bit her lip, and
looked as though she were trying to keep back certain tears that rose in
her eyes.