Steen nodded. "Yes, old C. T. Anderman himself. Years ago, Joe, he
faced the same problem you face now, and he reacted the same way you
have. So he set out on a campaign to get into Manhattan the only way
he knew how--with money. There was one difference, Joe. Where you are
fabulously wealthy, C. T. Anderman was wealthy beyond all dreams. Do
you know that he gave away more than one quintillion credits--_gave it
away!_ Just to make his name universally known. 'The Philanthropist of
the Galaxy,' they called him. One quintillion credits! No wonder they
voted him a hero's grave. But what the press and the public never knew
is that it cost him more than twice that much--for he had to spend
another one quintillion credits for bribes and influence. It took him
fifty years, Joe, to pack the Galactic Congress with enough of his men
to swing the trick. But he finally did it."
There was a short silence, then Steen continued. "Now you see why I
didn't want to tell you, Joe--to raise false hopes. Only one man in
the Galaxy was ever wealthy enough to buy his way into Manhattan. And
he had to give up his entire fortune to do it. I'm afraid that you'll
never make the grade, Joe."
Krieg stood stunned. Steen was aware that two quintillion credits was
beyond Krieg's wildest dreams, for Steen knew that Joseph Krieg had
come to Earth determined to purchase his burial lot and then retire
from the business world.
Steen pulled lightly at Krieg's arm. "Now, come along, Joe. Let's go
take a look at Hong Kong." The three men started off down the path, but
before they had gone ten feet, a robot scurried out of the bushes and
dashed over to the bench they had been sitting on. It clucked softly
to itself, put forth several arms, and in a matter of seconds had
completely washed and disinfected the bench.
Joseph Krieg, an empty and numb look on his face, stopped to watch the
process. He stared for a few seconds, then asked hoarsely, "What's
that?"
Consolator Steen smiled. "One of the Guardians, Joe. Superb--and
completely incorruptible. Within minutes after we leave, every vestige
of our visit will be gone--each piece of gravel we tread on will be
scrubbed clean or replaced, each piece of grass we touch uprooted and
destroyed, even the very air we breathe will be sterilized to remove
our traces. We have our problem of vandals too, you know," Steen said,
a wisp of a smile playing about the corners of his mouth. "But these
are vandals who want to get in and leave something, not like those
of ancient times on Earth who broke into burial grounds to loot and
destroy. Yes, Joe, we found long ago that the only safe method was
to employ mechanical devices to guard against clandestine burials. So
even the gardeners who keep this Park in blossom are mechanical. See,
there's another one over there, hard at work."
Joseph Krieg turned and saw to one side, by a large bed of red flowers,
another robot with dozens of visible appendages. It purred an almost
silent tune as it clipped and pruned, dug and spaded, trimmed and
cleaned the beds, occasionally sprinkling a rich fertilizer dust here
and there.
"The Guardians of Valhalla, Joe. They were set into motion centuries
ago, and not even the President knows how to change their orders. They
can't be bribed, even if their human masters can be."
Joseph Krieg stooped down beside the bed of flowers. He reached out and
picked up a handful of the fine dirt and let it slip pensively through
his fingers. "Dust unto dust," he said slowly. "Man was created from
the soil of Earth, and to dust he returneth." There was a long silence
as Steen let the emotion run its course. Then he touched Krieg lightly
on the arm and the man stood up again. They started off down the path,
ignoring the machine that skittered along behind them, cleansing each
bit of gravel they stepped upon.
To Steen, this was always the most important part of the interview.
While the fish was masticating the bait, he had to prattle on to keep
the hook from becoming too visible. "Some day I must tell you of all
the ways people have tried to get themselves buried on Earth without
paying for the privilege, Joe. It makes a fascinating story. We're in a
difficult position here, you know, for we have to import every single
bit of food we eat, every machine we use, each piece of clothing that
we wear. But every single item that we import is carefully scanned to
make sure that no one has concealed so much as a single human hair
in the process." Steen watched Krieg's face closely as they walked.
The man should be going through hell just now, but not too much of it
showed on his face. Steen continued his prattle, a little puzzled.
"Oh, it's incredible the ways that people have tried to cheat. Some of
the methods used are too ugly to relate, some of them humorous beyond
belief. But this is why we've resorted to mechanical guards all the way
round--to maintain our incorruptibility. Even Anderman with all of his
quintillions could not have bribed his way past our machines." Steen's
voice betrayed none of the anxiety that he felt. For Joseph Krieg was
almost smiling now, was apparently feeling none of the great confusion
that Steen had counted upon.
They reached the gates. "Well, Joe. I think we'll head straight for
Hong Kong, if you don't mind. It will be early morning there by now,
and that's the best time...."
Joseph Krieg turned to face the man. "Thank you very much, Consolator,
but I don't think that will be necessary. You see, I've changed my
mind."
Steen repressed a frown. "Changed your mind?" he asked blandly.
"Yes. After giving it due consideration, I think that it would be
foolish to squander all of my fortune on a burial on Earth. My family
would be cheated out of its inheritance if I did, and after all, if my
sons carry on in their father's tradition, that's enough for me." Krieg
extended his hand. "I wish to thank you, Steen, for your kindness. I
regret that I have troubled you for nothing."
Steen shook the man's hand warmly, using his free hand to grasp Krieg's
arm in friendly fashion. "It was no trouble at all, I assure you. But
please understand, Joseph, if I can ever be of service to you in _any_
way, if I can ever be of assistance in any manner whatsoever, please
do not hesitate to call upon me. After all, even Anderman had certain
problems which...." Steen smiled knowingly.
Krieg returned the smile. "I think I understand. And I appreciate your
offer, although I must tell you that there is little likelihood that
I will be forced to take it up. Again my thanks. And now, good-bye."
Krieg turned and strode through the gates.
* * * * *
Consolator Steen and his assistant, Braun, stood watching the man as he
disappeared into the distance. Then Steen turned and walked over to one
of the benches in the Park near to the gates. He sat down wearily.
"Braun," he said. "I don't like it. Not at all. He should have
been beside himself with worry, he should have pumped me for more
information, he should have done a thousand other things. But he
didn't. He just turned and left. I tell you, I don't like it at all."