It happened thus that it was not till the second autumn after the
settlement of the ladies in Waterdale, when all the questions had died
out, and there was no more talk of them, except on occasions when a
sudden recollection cropped up among their friends at Windyhill, that
John Tatham paid them his first visit. He had been very conscientious in
his proposed bestowal of himself. Perhaps it is scarcely quite
complimentary to a woman when she is made choice of by a man who is
consciously to himself “on the outlook,” thinking that he ought to
marry, and investigating all the suitable persons about with an eye to
finding one who will answer his requirements. This sensible way of
approaching the subject of matrimony does not somehow commend itself to
our insular notions. It is the right way in every country except our
own, but it has a cold-blooded look to the Anglo-Saxon; and a girl is
not flattered (though perhaps she ought to be) by being the subject of
this sensible choice. “As if I were a housekeeper or a cook!” she is
apt to say, and is far better pleased to be fallen in love with in the
most rash and irresponsible way than to be thus selected from the crowd:
though that, everybody must allow, after due comparison and inspection,
is by far the greater compliment. John having arrived at the conclusion
that it would be better for him in many ways to marry, and specially in
the way of Elinor, fortifying him for ever from all possible
complications, and making it possible for him to regard her evermore
with the placid feelings of a brother, which was, he expected, to be the
consequence--worked at the matter really with great pertinacity and
consistency. He kept his eyes open upon the whole generation of girls
whom he met with in society. When he went abroad during the long
vacation (instead of going to Lakeside, as he was invited to do), he
directed his steps rather to the fashionable resorts, where families
disport themselves at the foot of the mountains, than to the Alpine
heights where he had generally found a more robust amusement. And
wherever he went he bent his attention on the fairer portion of the
creation, the girls who fill all the hotels with the flutter of their
fresh toilettes and the babble of their pleasant voices. It was very
mean and poor of him, seeing he was a mountaineer himself--but still it
must be recorded that the only young ladies he systematically neglected
were those in very short petticoats, with very sunburnt faces and nails
in their boots, who ought to have been most congenial to him as sharing
his own tastes. It is said, I don’t know with what truth, that at Ouch,
or Interlachen, or some other of the most mundane and banal resorts of
the tourists, he came upon one girl who he thought might make him a
suitable wife: and that, though with much moderation and prudence, he
more or less followed her party for some time, meeting them over and
over again, with expressions of astonishment, round the most well-known
corners, and persisting for a considerable time in this quest. But
whether he ever came the length of proposing at all, or whether the
young lady was engaged beforehand, or if she thought the prospect of
making a suitable wife not good enough, I cannot say, and I doubt
whether any one knows--except, of course, the parties immediately
concerned. It is very clear, at all events, that it came to nothing.
John did not altogether give it up, I fancy, for he went a great deal
into society still, especially in that _avant saison_, which people who
live in London declare to be the most enjoyable, and when it is supposed
you can enjoy the best of company at your ease without the hurry and
rush of the summer crowd. He would have been very glad, thankful,
indeed, if he could have fallen in love. How absurd to think that any
silly boy can do it, to whom it is probably nothing but a disadvantage
and the silliest of pastimes, and that he, a reasonable man with a good
income, and arrived at a time of life when it is becoming and rational
to marry, could not do it, let him try as he would! There was something
ludicrous in it, when you came to think, as well as something very
depressing. Mothers who wanted a good position for their daughters
divined him, and many of them were exceedingly civil to John, this man
in search of a wife; and many of the young ladies themselves divined
him, and with the half indignation, half mockery, appropriate to the
situation, were some of them not unaverse to profit by it, and
accordingly turned to him their worst side in the self-consciousness
produced by that knowledge. And thus the second year turned round
towards the wane, and John was farther from success than ever.
He said to himself then that it was clear he was not a marrying man. He
liked the society of ladies well enough, but not in that way. He was not
made for falling in love. He might very well, he was aware, have
dispensed with the tradition, and found an excellent wife, who would not
at all have insisted upon it from her side. But he had his prejudices,
and could not do this. Love he insisted upon, and love would not come.
Accordingly, when the second season was over he gave up both the quest
and the idea, and resolved to think of marrying no more, which was a
sensible relief to him. For indeed he was exceedingly comfortable as he
was; his chambers were excellent, and he did not think that any street
or square in Belgravia would have reconciled him to giving up the
Temple. He had excellent servants, a man and his wife, who took the
greatest care of him. He had settled into a life which was arranged as
he liked, with much freedom, and yet an agreeable routine which John
was too wise to despise. He relinquished the idea of marrying then and
there. To be sure there is never any prophesying what may happen. A
little laughing gipsy of a girl may banish such a resolution out of a
man’s mind in the twinkling of an eye, at any moment. But short of such
accidents as that, and he smiled at the idea of anything of the kind, he
quite made up his mind on this point with a great sensation of relief.
It is curious how determined the mind of the English public at least is
on this subject--that the man or woman who does not marry (especially
the woman, by-the-bye) has an unhappy life, and that a story which does
not end in a wedding is no story at all, or at least ends badly, as
people say. It happened to myself on one occasion to put together in a
book the story of some friends of mine, in which this was the case. They
were young, they were hopeful, they had all life before them, but they
did not marry. And when the last chapter came to the consciousness of
the publisher he struck, with the courage of a true Briton, not ashamed
of his principles, and refused to pay. He said it was no story at
all--so beautiful is marriage in the eyes of our countrymen. I hope,
however, that nobody will think any harm of John Tatham because he
concluded, after considerable and patient trial, that he was not a
marrying man. There is no harm in that. A great number of those Catholic
priests whom it was the habit in my youth to commiserate deeply, as if
they were vowed to the worst martyrdom, live very happy lives in their
celibacy and prefer it, as John Tatham did. It will be apparent to the
reader that he really preferred it to Elinor, while Elinor was in his
power. And though afterwards it gave a comfort and grace to his life to
think that it was his faithful but subdued love for Elinor which made
him a bachelor all his days, I am by no means certain that this was
true. Perhaps he never would have made up his mind had she remained
always within his reach. Certain it is that he was relieved when he
found that to give up the idea of marriage was the best thing for him.
He adopted the conclusion with pleasure. His next brother had already
married, though he was younger than John; but then he was a clergyman,
which is a profession naturally tending to that sort of thing. There
was, however, no kind of necessity laid upon him to provide for the
continuance of the race. And he was a happy man.
By what sequence of ideas it was that he considered himself justified,
having come to this conclusion, in immediately paying his long-promised
visit to Lakeside, is a question which I need not enter into, and indeed
do not feel entirely able to cope with. It suited him, perhaps, as he
had been so long a time in Switzerland last year: and he had an
invitation to the far north for the grouse, which he thought it would be
pleasant to accept. Going to Scotland or coming from it, Waterdale of
course lies full in the way. He took it last on his way home, which was
more convenient, and arrived there in the latter part of September, when
the hills were golden with the yellow bracken. The Cumberland hills are
a little cold, in my opinion, without the heather, which clothes with
such a flush of life and brightness our hills in the north. The
greenness is chilly in the frequent rain; one feels how sodden and
slippery it is--a moisture which does not belong to the heather: but
when the brackens have all turned, and the slopes reflect themselves in
the tranquil water like hills of gold, then the landscape reaches its
perfect point. Lakeside was a white house standing out on a small
projection at the head of the lake, commanding the group of hills above
and part of the winding body of water below, in which all these golden
reflections lay. A little steamer passed across the reflected glory, and
came to a stop not a hundred yards from the gate of the house. It was a
scene as unlike as could be conceived to the Cottage at Windyhill: the
trees were all glorious in colour; yellow birches like trees made of
light, oaks all red and fiery, chestnuts and elms and beeches in a
hundred hues. The house was white, with a sort of broad verandah round,
supported on pillars, furnishing a sheltered walk below and a broad
balcony above, which gave it a character of more importance than perhaps
its real size warranted. When John approached there ran out to meet him
into the wide gravel drive before the door a little figure upon two
sturdy legs, calling out, in inarticulate shoutings, something that
sounded a little like his own name. It was, “’tle John! ’tle John!” made
into a sort of song by the baby, nearly two years old, and “very
forward,” as everybody assured the stranger, for his age. Uncle John!
his place was thus determined at once by that little potentate and
master of the house. Behind the child came Elinor, no longer pale and
languid as he had seen her last, but matured into vigorous beauty,
bright-eyed, a little sober, as might have become maturer years than
hers. Perhaps there was something in the style of her dress that
favoured the idea, not of age indeed, but of matronly years, and beyond
those which Elinor counted. She was dressed in black, of the simplest
description, not of distinctive character like a widow’s, yet something
like what an ideal widow beyond fashion or conventionalities of woe
might wear. It seemed to give John the key-note of the character she had
assumed in this new sphere.
Mrs. Dennistoun, who had not changed in the least, stood in the open
door. They gave him a welcome such as John had not had, he said to
himself, since he had seen them before. They were unfeignedly glad to
see him, not wounded (which, to think of afterwards, wounded him a
little) that he had not come sooner, but delighted that he was here now.
Even when he went home it was not usual to John to be met at the door in
this way by all his belongings. His sister might come running down the
stairs when she heard the dog-cart draw up, but that was all. And Mary’s
eagerness to see him was generally tempered by the advice she had to
give, to say that or not to say this, because of papa. But in the
present case it was the sight of himself which was delightful to all,
and, above all, though the child could have no reason for it, to the
little shouting excited boy. “’Tle John! ’tle John!” What was Uncle John
to him? yet his little voice filled the room with shouts of joy.
“What does he know about me, the little beggar, that he makes such a
noise in my honour?” said John, touched in spite of himself. “But I
suppose anything is good enough for a cry at that age.”
“Come,” said Elinor, “you are not to be contemptuous of my boy any
longer. You called him _it_ when he was a baby.”
“And what is he now?” said John, whose heart was affected by strange
emotions, he, the man who had just decided (with relief) that he was not
a marrying man. There came over him a curious wave of sensation which he
had no right to. If he had had a right to it, if he had been coming home
to those who belonged to him, not distantly in the way of cousinship,
but by a dearer right, what sensations his would have been! But sitting
at the corner of the fire (which is very necessary in Waterdale in the
end of September) a little in the shadow, his face was not very clearly
perceptible: though indeed had it been so the ladies would have thought
nothing but that John’s kind heart was touched, as was so natural, by
this sight.
“What is he now? Your nephew! Tell Uncle John what you are now,” said
Elinor, lifting her child on her lap; at which the child between the
kisses which were his encouragement and reward produced, in a large
infant voice, very treble, yet simulating hers, the statement, “Mamma’s
bhoy.”
“Now, Elinor,” said Mrs. Dennistoun, “he has played his part
beautifully; he has done everything you taught him. He has told you who
he is and who Uncle John is. Let him go to his nursery now.”
“Come up-stairs, Pippo. Mother will carry her boy,” said Elinor. “They
don’t want us any more, these old people. Say good-night to Uncle John,
and come to bed.”
“Dood-night, ’tle John,” said the child; which, however, was not enough,
for he tilted himself out of his mother’s arms and put his rosy face and
open mouth, sweet but damp, upon John’s face. This kiss was one of the
child’s accomplishments. He himself was aware that he had been good, and
behaved himself in every way as a child should do, as he was carried off
crowing and jabbering in his mother’s arms. He had formed a sort of
little human bridge between them when he made that dive from Elinor’s
arms upon John’s face. Ah, heaven! if it had been the other way, if the
child and the mother had both been his!
“He has grown up very sweet. You may think we are foolish, John; but you
can’t imagine what a delight that child is. Hasn’t he grown up sweet?”
“If you call that grown up!”
“Oh, yes, I know he is only a baby still; but so forward for his age,
such a little man, taking care of his mother before he is two years
old!”
“What did I hear her call him?” John asked, and it seemed to Mrs.
Dennistoun that there was something severe in the sound of his voice.
“He had to be Philip. It is a pretty name, though we may have reason to
mourn the day--and belongs to his family. We must not forget that he
belongs to a known family, however he may have suffered by it.”
“Then you intend the child to know about his family? I am glad to hear
it,” said John, though his voice perhaps was not so sweet as his words.
“Oh, John, that is quite another thing! to know about his family--at
two! He has his mother--and me to take care of them both, and what does
he want more?”
“But he will not always be two,” said John, the first moment almost of
his arrival, before he had seen the house, or said a word about the
lake, or anything. She was so disappointed and cast down that she made
him no reply.
“I am a wretched croaker,” he said, after a moment, “I know. I ought
after all this time to try to make myself more agreeable; but you must
pardon me if this was the first thing that came into my mind. Elinor is
looking a great deal better than when I saw her last.”
“Isn’t she! another creature. I don’t say that I am satisfied, John. Who
would be satisfied in such a position of affairs? but while the child is
so very young nothing matters very much. And she is quite happy. I do
think she is quite happy. And so well--this country suits them both
perfectly. Though there is a good deal of rain, they are both out every
day. And little Pippo thrives, as you see, like a flower.”
“That is a very fantastic name to give the child.”
“How critical you are, John! perhaps it is, but what does it matter at
his age? any name does for a baby. Why, you yourself, as grave as you
are now----”
“Don’t, aunt,” said John. “It is a grave matter enough as it appears to
me.”
“Not for the present; not for the present, John.”
“Perhaps not for the present: if you prefer to put off all the
difficulties till they grow up and crush you. Have there been any
overtures, all this time, from--the other side?”
“Dear John, don’t overwhelm me all in a moment, in the first pleasure of
seeing you, both with the troubles that are behind and the troubles that
are in front of us,” the poor lady said.