[Sidenote: ATTENDANCE AT LECTURES]
DON'T forget to attend a _large per cent._ of your lectures. The
information dispensed in lectures is _often_ to be found _invaluable_ in
passing the Examinations.
[Sidenote: CHOOSING COURSES]
_Don't_ let yourself be mesmerized into taking a lot of things you feel
a positive _disinclination_ for. Many a Freshman has spoiled his first
year in this way; and, failing to pass, has left _College_ and become a
street-car conductor or a clerk.
[Sidenote: "SNAP" COURSES]
_Don't_ mistake the willingness to accept a "snap" course for a
_startling aptitude_ for a subject.
[Sidenote: ELECTIVE SYSTEM]
_Don't_ abuse the _Elective System_ if you are privileged to be at a
College where it is employed. It is a system which presupposes your own
_interest_ in your _intellectual welfare_. It is too easy to fill up
with a lot of unrelated subjects. You may say, "But I desire a broad
education." Very good. Did you ever go to a circus? There the prettiest
feats are performed upon the broad, spacious back of _one_ horse. The
rider gets the broadest-backed critter he can find that will keep
moving. Those who ride two and three horses _take a risk_. In College
you may find that when you try to do the _intellectual split_, you're
liable to _fall down between_ your horses.
[Sidenote: ABOUT MEETING PROFESSORS]
_Don't_ neglect any honest opportunities you may have to make friends
with an Instructor or a Professor. Meeting Teachers represents a
privilege and _not always_ necessarily a pull. As for knowing
Professors intimately, few do, except other Professors. As for their
knowing _us_ intimately, it might seem as if this seldom happens, until
it comes time to expel us.
[Sidenote: MALINGERING]
_Don't_ try to fool the College Doctor into believing that you can't go
to lectures, or are going to die, because you've sprained your left
thumb. Generally, the College Doctor is a shrewd man, or he would _not_
be the College Doctor.
[Sidenote: ABOUT REQUIRED READING]
_Don't_ fail to make a list of the _required reading_ in any course. And
do _some_ of it--say, a little more than will enable you merely to pass
the Exam. It is barely possible that the reading you have done in
connection with your College courses will some day prove you an
_educated man_. As for doing _all_ the reading that _all_ the
Professors require--well, a fellow _must_ sleep and eat.
[Sidenote: WORKING FOR EXAMS]
_Don't_ think that _Exams_ can be passed without any preparation. It
takes _some_. The _minimum_ has not yet been determined; nor has the
_maximum_. The _middlemum_ has even been known to vary, according as the
instructor imagines that the crowd _is_ or _is not_ taking the course as
a snap. The _little birdies_ are _surely_ in league with the Faculty.
[Sidenote: INTELLECTUAL NARCOTICS]
_Don't_ rely upon _special tutors_ to pass all your courses. It's lazy
and not entirely self-respecting. When our friend Gulliver went to
Laputa, he met certain Teachers who gave their pupils small intellectual
wafers. These they swallowed upon _empty stomachs_. As the wafers
digested, the tincture mounted to the pupil's brain, bearing the
proposition along with it. The same system of cramming exists today;
only it _doesn't always work as advertised_. A fellow resorts to special
tutors when he has lost confidence, and needs an _intellectual
narcotic_. Special tutors represent the drug-capsule of learning. _Why_
be a _dope-fiend_?
[Sidenote: IN THE EXAMS]
_Don't_ try in your _Exams_ to make a hit by writing long papers. The
_Exam_ is _not_ an endurance contest. Somehow, long papers don't take,
unless there is _some sense_ in everything you have written. If you
don't believe this, _try it and find out_.
[Sidenote: PREDIGESTED INFORMATION]
_Don't_ rely wholly upon _typewritten notes_ to get through your
courses. Many College Professors show no quarter to those whom they
ascertain to be addicted to this predigested form of information. Often
the Professor's life-specialty is the tracing of literary works to their
_sources_; so be careful. Better take notes in lectures; if this serve
no other purpose, 'twill keep you _awake_.
[Sidenote: PUTTING OFF WORK]
_Don't_ put off that long piece of _written work_ till the night before
it is due. A piece of work about which you have been warned months
beforehand, can't be done between 8 p.m. and 3 a.m. Here "_rush
orders_," contrary to the rule, spoil. If you come up to the scratch as
you should, in the matter of long pieces of written work, the Instructor
will almost forget how _dog-goned lazy_ you have been all along in the
little things.
[Sidenote: IDLING]
_Don't idle_ away time to such an extent that you get a reputation as an
idler, either among your friends, or with the members of the Faculty.
You'll find such a reputation hard to _live down_. Notwithstanding the
fact that everybody is _supposed_ to come by a love of Learning in
College, there are some things which the Faculty will _not_ take for
granted. With the Faculty, the chronic idler will find that his name is
_anathema_, or _Dennis_ at least.
[Sidenote: THE DESCENT TO AVERNUS]
_Don't_ fail to keep in mind the flight of steps which represents the
_descent_ from the plane of regular work. It goes something like this:
_work_, _slack work_, _probation_, _special probation_, then, "I am
sorry to inform you that the Faculty has decided that you are no longer
needed to ornament the College," etc. After which, it is the
greased-slide, _down and out_, so to speak. In other words, you are
about to feel the thrill of Academic life along your keel for the last
time. _Facilis descensus Averni_: Avernus being the cold, cold world,
and the bother of having to explain to one's relations and friends in
the home town _how it all happened_.
[Illustration: DONT FAIL TO KEEP IN MIND THE STEPS OF _DESCENT_]
[Sidenote: THE COLLEGE OFFICE]
_Don't_ show disrespect or contempt for the _College Dean_, or for the
retinue within his gates. Once you "queer" yourself with the _College
Office_, you are on dangerous footing, and the _College Degree_ you seek
is no longer seen to be "constant as the _northern star_." Keep the
Degree in mind; _hitch your wagon_ to it. But don't get _too_ ambitious
in the way of Degrees. We once heard of a fellow who was called up and
given the _Third Degree_ by the Faculty, without ever being graduated.