[Sidenote: YOUR ARRIVAL]
DON'T think that your _mere arrival_ at College has made you able to
_relieve Atlas_ in holding up the World. The World's idea of you at this
point is, that you're something like a gold-fish just let loose in a
glass globe. It _will begin to expect_ something of you when you're
dumped into the big Ocean.
[Sidenote: YOUR RESIDENCE]
_Don't_, if you can possibly side-step it, begin to live in a place
which you do not like. The _Blue-Willies_ may lurk in the corners. Many
a _Freshman_ changes his residence about the _mid-year_, because he has
not made a careful selection at first. The moving often entails cracked
wash-bowls, broken pictures and casts, stifled oaths, and a sense of
_great unrest_ not appropriate to the season.
[Sidenote: YOUR LANDLADY]
_Don't_ treat your _Landlady_ shabbily if you happen to live in a
private house. Some Landladies are the best souls in the world. All of
them are proud and _descended from the best early families_ (you have
only to take _their_ word for this). Though they are often inquisitive,
their inquisitiveness often comes from their genuine interest in you.
Sometimes, _the more they know_ of your family history, _the less they
will charge_ you for oil and gas, at the end of the month.
[Sidenote: HER RIGHTS]
_Don't_ begin _too_ early in the term to make your Landlady's house a
_noisy abode_. She may get impatient and do something hasty, such as
even demanding your key, payment and evacuation. In _such_ an event you
see the full meaning of her appellation. Whereas, before you may have
thought that the word "land" in her title meant to _catch_, as to _land
a fish_, you now see that it is primarily derived from her ability _to
come down hard_ on a special occasion.
[Sidenote: THE DUSTING LADY]
_Don't_ be discouraged if you can't find anything in the right place
after the _dusting lady_ has put things in order. It's a _way they
have_.
[Sidenote: YOUR ROOM]
_Don't_ neglect taste in your room. How do you know but that somebody
may judge you by the way you decorate your study? Presumably, you were
not _raised in a barn_, and there can be no _harm_ in letting the
appearance of your room bear out this as fact.
[Sidenote: FITTING IT UP]
_Don't_ try to make a _royal residence_ of your room. Your taste may
alter. A College man's taste often undergoes rapid and violent
revolution _for the better_, within the first year.
[Sidenote: A WORD ABOUT RUGS]
_Don't_ think that you must have Turkish rugs. _Generally_, a _Freshman_
cannot tell the real article when he sees it. The man at the sale may
try to make you believe they'll never wear out. Never mind. You have
only to _get_ them to know what he means. Just get some old, reliable
patterns. There is a secret connected with this. The older and dirtier
they get, the more _Oriental_ they look. You've no idea how much
sweeping this saves.
[Sidenote: ABOUT BRIC-A-BRAC]
_Don't_ go in for a lot of fine china, the first term. How can _you_
tell but that your neighbors or visitors may not care as much for that
sort of thing as you? Remember, that in a room where costly china lies
about in profusion, a "rough-house" may be a more expensive variety of
entertainment than Grand Opera _with seats for the family_.
[Sidenote: ABOUT DECORATIONS]
_Don't_ get angry if a Senior comes into your room and looks about and
smiles. Probably, he's only remembering that _he_ once decorated his
room the way you now do yours. Just _keep your eyes open_ when you go
into older fellows' rooms. You'll soon learn that two crossed college
flags, a vile plaster copy of the Venus de Milo, and a copy of the Barye
Lion as _sole_ decorations may be lived down,--or later _pulled down_.
If you wish to be _exceptionally_ original, don't go in for either the
flags or the casts. Yet, in following years, these things may become
good old friends to remind you that _you_ were _once_ a Freshman.
[Sidenote: ABOUT FURNITURE]
_Don't_ overdo with respect to _furniture_, even if you can afford it;
it _may_ make some of your visitors uncomfortable. If you _can't_ afford
it, you'll be made uncomfortable yourself.
[Sidenote: THE COLLEGE COLOR]
_Don't_ mistake the _color_ of your College. A good many Freshmen do
this;--it is especially pathetic, by the way, to see a Freshman waving a
flag which is _off-color_ at a big game. Sometimes the mistake is
attributed to color-blindness. This is a charitable interpretation.
[Sidenote: ABOUT THAT STUDY-DESK]
_Don't_ buy a roll-top desk or an iron safe during your first year. You
know, you may not care to occupy one room _all through College_. We
heard of one house having to be torn down, that a Freshman might move
out with his roll-top desk. Not only this, but when he failed to find
another place, a house had to be built up around his cumbersome
furniture. It was a case of this or his _rooming in the desk_.
[Illustration: DONT OVERDO THE _DECORATION_ OF YOUR ROOM]
[Sidenote: GETTING ON]
_Don't_ think that you have fairly _got on_ to things while the tray of
your trunk is still _unpacked_.
[Sidenote: TAKING A HAZING]
_Don't_ look too sober if hazing happens to be in vogue, and the
Sophomores order you about. Remember that you can make the affair either
a _funeral_ or a _farce_; and it's pleasanter to be the leading man in a
farce than to be the principal at a funeral. The best way to get along
with Sophomores is to take them good-naturedly. Don't be nauseatingly
saccharine, for that's _just_ about as bad as getting mad about it. Just
fool them into thinking you're _enjoying_ yourself, and they'll stop.
[Sidenote: A TRICK ABOUT RECEIVING VISITORS]
_Don't_ neglect to _receive_ your _visitors_ as if you were glad to see
them. This is not encouraging hypocrisy, inasmuch as the recommendation
_need not include_ the laundryman or the tailor's collector. You
couldn't fool _them_, anyway. It is not polite, when visitors come,
always to be found with a green shade over your eyes. When a visitor
calls, look as if you had just been waiting for some one to talk to. If
you improve your time _between_ visitors, they ought not to cause you to
waste any valuable time.
[Sidenote: MUSICAL TEMPERANCE]
_Don't_ play the piano at all hours. Have a regular time for practice;
then your neighbors may _protect_ themselves. If you play the violin or
the trumpet, _don't overdo it_; you are tempting Fate.
[Sidenote: THE PROCTOR]
_Don't_ incur the anger of your Proctor by noisy conduct or disrespect.
Proctors--especially young ones--are apt to feel their oats and to
report you on slight provocation. But a friendly Proctor is a friend
worth having.