EACH morning, vigorous and bright,
I sing my little song:--
"If I don't do the thing that's right
I'll do the thing that's wrong."
And if I chance to miss my aim
By slight miscalculation
I go on singing just the same
With equal exaltation.
So when I light my little sticks
To burn up "No. 8"
And find I've kindled "No. 6"
My joy is just as great.
And when my little stones I dash
At windows in a hurry
And hear the corner lamp-post smash
I see no cause to worry.
And when I take my little whip
To punish "Mr. A."
And find I've made another slip
I giggle out, "Hurray!"
And under lock and key I trill,
Although my cell's a strong one:--
"I didn't hit the right man, still
At least I hit the wrong one."
* * * * *
Bethnal Green and Leith.
We are asked to say that some of the best friends of the Government
take a grave view of the acclamations with which the Liberal Press has
been greeting the recent "moral victories" of the Party at the polls.
A few more of these moral victories and the language oL triumph will,
they fear, be exhausted before an actual victory occurs.
* * * * *
"Lord Plymouth's donation of L30,000 completes the purchase of
the Crystal Palace. The shortage was due to Mr. Camberwell's
refusal to contribute, and also to a reduction in Mr. Pinge's
contribution by L15,000."
_Otago Daily Times._
On the other hand we are glad to be in a position to say that Lord
Penge, the Hon. Mrs. Sydenham Hill and the Dowager Lady Dulwich have
behaved most generously.
* * * * *
"Respecting Ichthemic Guano, you can make use of my name, as
it is one of the best fertilisers on the market."
_From a Trade Circular._
We should like to know what our old friend Ichthemic Guano has to say
about this. He will not like to hear that anybody else's name competes
with his in the fertilising market.
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE HOLY ESTATE: AN EX-PARTE VIEW.
_Her Ladyship._ "SO YOU ARE LEAVING TO GET MARRIED, THOMPSON? I MUST
COME AND SEE YOUR WIFE WHEN YOU ARE COMFORTABLY SETTLED."
_The Lover._ "THANK YOU, ME LADY. SHE SEEMS A NICE QUIET SORT OF GIRL,
AND I 'AVE HEVERY 'OPE SHE'LL MAKE ME COMFORTABLE."]
* * * * *