_Abnormis sapiens._
HOR. _Sat._ ii. l. 2. ver. 3.
Of plain good sense, untutor'd in the schools.
I was this morning walking in the gallery when Sir Roger entered at the
end opposite to me, and advancing towards me, said he was glad to meet me
among his relations the De Coverleys, and hoped I liked the
conversation[63] of so much good company, who were as silent as myself. I
knew he alluded to the pictures, and as he is a gentleman who does not a
little value himself upon his ancient descent, I expected he would give
me some account of them. We were now arrived at the upper end of the
gallery, when the Knight faced towards one of the pictures, and, as we
stood before it, he entered into the matter, after his blunt way of
saying things, as they occur to his imagination, without regular
introduction, or care to preserve the appearance of chain of thought.
"It is," said he, "worth while to consider the force of dress; and how
the persons of one age differ from those of another, merely by that only.
One may observe also, that the general fashion of one age has been
followed by one particular set of people in another, and by them
preserved from one generation to another. Thus the vast jetting[64] coat
and small bonnet, which was the habit in Harry the Seventh's time, is
kept on in the yeomen of the guard; not without a good and politic view,
because they look a foot taller, and a foot and an half broader: besides
that the cap leaves the face expanded, and consequently more terrible,
and fitter to stand at the entrances of palaces.
"This predecessor of ours, you see, is dressed after this manner, and his
cheeks would be no larger than mine, were he in a hat as I am. He was the
last man that won a prize in the tilt-yard (which is now a common street
before Whitehall). You see the broken lance that lies there by his right
foot; he shivered that lance of his adversary all to pieces; and bearing
himself, look you, sir, in this manner, at the same time he came within
the target[65] of the gentleman who rode against him, and taking him with
incredible force before him on the pommel of his saddle, he in that
manner rid the tournament[66] over, with an air that showed he did it
rather to perform the rule of the lists, than expose his enemy; however,
it appeared he knew how to make use of a victory, and with a gentle trot
he marched up to a gallery where their mistress sat (for they were
rivals) and let him down with laudable courtesy and pardonable
insolence[67]. I don't know but it might be exactly where the
coffee-house is now.
"You are to know this my ancestor was not only of a military genius, but
fit also for the arts of peace, for he played on the bass-viol[68] as well
as any gentleman at court; you see where his viol hangs by his basket-hilt
sword. The action at the tilt-yard you may be sure won the fair lady, who
was a maid of honour, and the greatest beauty of her time; here she stands
the next picture. You see, sir, my great-great-great-grandmother has on
the new-fashioned petticoat, except that the modern is gathered at the
waist: my grandmother appears as if she stood in a large drum, whereas
the ladies now walk as if they were in a go-cart. For all[69] this lady
was bred at court, she became an excellent country wife, she brought ten
children, and when I show you the library, you shall see in her own hand
(allowing for the difference of the language) the best receipt now in
England both for an hasty-pudding and a white-pot.
"If you please to fall back a little, because it is necessary to look at
the three next pictures at one view: these are three sisters. She on the
right hand, who is so beautiful, died a maid; the next to her, still
handsomer, had the same fate, against her will; this homely thing in the
middle had both their portions added to her own, and was stolen by a
neighbouring gentleman, a man of stratagem and resolution, for he
poisoned three mastiffs to come at her, and knocked down two
deer-stealers in carrying her off. Misfortunes happen in all families:
the theft of this romp and so much money, was no great matter to our
estate. But the next heir that possessed it was this soft gentleman, whom
you see there: observe the small buttons, the little boots, the laces,
the slashes[70] about his clothes, and above all the posture he is drawn
in, (which to be sure was his own choosing;) you see he sits with one
hand on a desk writing and looking as it were another way, like an easy
writer, or a sonneteer: he was one of those that had too much wit to know
how to live in the world; he was a man of no justice, but great good
manners; he ruined everybody that had anything to do with him, but never
said a rude thing in his life; the most indolent person in the world, he
would sign a deed that passed away half his estate with his gloves on,
but would not put on his hat before a lady if it were to save his
country. He is said to be the first that made love by squeezing the hand.
He left the estate with ten thousand pounds debt upon it, but however by
all hands I have been informed that he was every way the finest gentleman
in the world. That debt lay heavy on our house for one generation, but it
was retrieved by a gift from that honest man you see there, a citizen of
our name, but nothing at all akin to us. I know Sir Andrew Freeport has
said behind my back, that this man was descended from one of the ten
children of the maid of honour I showed you above; but it was never made
out. We winked at the thing indeed, because money was wanting at that
time."
Here I saw my friend a little embarrassed, and turned my face to the next
portraiture.
Sir Roger went on with his account of the gallery in the following
manner. "This man" (pointing to him I looked at) "I take to be the honour
of our house, Sir Humphrey de Coverley; he was in his dealings as
punctual as a tradesman, and as generous as a gentleman. He would have
thought himself as much undone by breaking his word, as if it were to be
followed by bankruptcy. He served his country as knight of this shire[71]
to his dying day. He found it no easy matter to maintain an integrity in
his words and actions, even in things that regarded the offices which
were incumbent upon him, in the care of his own affairs and relations of
life, and therefore dreaded (though he had great talents) to go into
employments of state, where he must be exposed to the snares of ambition.
Innocence of life and great ability were the distinguishing parts of his
character; the latter, he had often observed, had led to the destruction
of the former, and used frequently to lament that great and good had not
the same signification. He was an excellent husbandman, but had resolved
not to exceed such a degree[72] of wealth; all above it he bestowed in
secret bounties many years after the sum he aimed at for his own use was
attained. Yet he did not slacken his industry, but to a decent old age
spent the life and fortune which was superfluous to himself, in the
service of his friends and neighbours."
Here we were called to dinner, and Sir Roger ended the discourse of[73]
this gentleman, by telling me, as we followed the servant, that this his
ancestor was a brave man, and narrowly escaped being killed in the civil
wars; "For," said he, "he was sent out of the field upon a private
message, the day before the battle of Worcester." The whim[74] of
narrowly escaping by having been within a day of danger, with other
matters above mentioned, mixed with good sense, left me at a loss whether
I was more delighted with my friend's wisdom or simplicity.