DR. URBAN WOLF.
Johanna had thought that the worst was over when she took her departure
from Doenninghausen; and, indeed, the first days and nights that she
spent by her sister's bedside were occupied wholly with care and anxiety
for the little one. The child lay in the delirium of fever,--raved in
terror of a little black pony,--declared, screaming, that she never
would dance again, never would appear in the circus; while Helena, with
tears, confessed that Lisbeth's illness was the result of a fall she had
while at a rehearsal.
Johanna's presence seemed to soothe the child, and, forgetting herself,
she was always beside her bed; but then came the letters from the home
she had left, and they recalled all the old pain and conflict.
Involuntarily she looked first for Otto's letter. Her heart had not yet
forgotten to beat faster at the sight of his handwriting. But the more
she read of it, the more it dulled her, and at its conclusion she laid
it aside with a sensation of disgust. Did he think to lure her back
thus? Did he know her so little? Had he so entirely lost all feeling of
self-respect? One honest word from him, and all might have been well.
Without implicating Magelone, he might have said to the Freiherr, 'I
have wronged Johanna; forgive me if she forgives.' Had she hoped for
this? Had she for an instant thought this solution possible? No, oh, no!
Had she not written both to him and to Aunt Thekla--had she not
repeated--did she not feel with every throb of her heart--that all was
over between Otto and herself?
And this must be written to her grandfather. Otto had with great skill
used her hint as to making her relations with these people the reason
for their separation. Half the work was done; why should she delay to do
the rest?
At first she found an explanation for this in her exertions as a nurse,
which were unremitting. But when, at her earnest entreaty, Lisbeth was
removed from the first story of the noisy hotel, where Batti had
established himself, to a quiet back room in the third story, she daily
grew better, and Johanna could no longer make her care the pretext for
delay.
And, like all who earnestly strive after it, she, too, found 'the bitter
word of liberating truth.' She pitilessly insisted to herself upon the
fact that in his cool attempt at a reconciliation Otto's aim had been
the preservation of friendly relations between himself and his
grandfather, and that she should contribute more to his happiness by
vanishing from Doenninghausen for his sake than by paving the way for her
justification, and she determined to sacrifice herself. She would
not--she could not love him any longer. She persuaded herself that she
did not. But she might, without loss of self-respect, take upon herself
the consequences of his fault. In this conviction she wrote to her
grandfather.
When her letter was despatched she sank into a dull apathy. Slowly,
monotonously, hour after hour, day after day passed by. Her solitude was
but rarely invaded. There was little to be done at present for the
child. Helena, who had talked at first about taking her share of the
nursing, was soon weary, and Batti was satisfied with asking every
morning what kind of a night Lisbeth had passed, and how she was at
present. After receiving the usual answer, 'About the same!' and then
standing for a while beside the bed looking down at the poor little
figure lying motionless with half-closed eyes, he became, Helena
declared, so depressed that it needed half a day's distraction to wear
off the impression produced upon him by his visit to the sick-room.
"We have two patients, dear Johanna," said Helena; "and I really believe
that my task as Carlo's nurse is harder than yours. Fancy the
self-control it costs me to conceal from poor Carlo the anguish of my
heart; to dress, to receive visits, to walk and drive, and to preside at
the little suppers to which Carlo has accustomed himself as well as his
friends. It is not enough to give artistic performances; the artist must
maintain his position in society; and, since Batti needs my aid in this,
I must not refuse it."
After talk of this kind she would kiss her 'poor little sick angel,'
embrace Johanna, call her her comfort and support, and then return to
her usual mode of life without a thought as to the amount of Johanna's
self-denial.
Johanna had no sense of exercising any, but the confinement and the bald
desolation of her surroundings added to her weight of misery. The room
to which Lisbeth had been removed was low-ceiled and scarcely ten paces
square, the walls were covered with a gaudy paper, the child's bed stood
at one end, with an old sofa, upon which Johanna slept; against one wall
stood a couple of common tables and chairs, and curtains of doubtful
cleanliness were hanging before the little window, which looked out upon
a narrow side-street. Helena declared that she herself could not exist
four-and-twenty hours in such a 'hole;' but it never occurred to her to
try to make it more comfortable. Why should she trouble herself? By
foolishly breaking off her engagement Johanna had relinquished all claim
to especial respect, and must be glad to find an asylum with her
quasi-step-father. Unfortunately, she was quite as haughty as formerly.
In vain did Helena try to discover the cause of her break with her
lover. "I cannot speak of it," Johanna always repeated; and then Batti
in his violent way would order his wife not to 'torment the poor
thing.' "I am glad," he would say, "that it has happened as it has; now
she will no longer refuse to accede to my plans. In a year she will be
the queen of my circus."
Johanna never suspected this. Batti begged her kindly to accept for the
present the shelter of his 'nomad-tent,' and she accepted gratefully
what was cordially offered. She scarcely thought of the future,--the
present, with its dull, paralyzing pain, so weighed upon her soul.
At last she was roused by a letter from Doenninghausen. Aunt Thekla had
addressed the envelope. It contained a communication from her
grandfather. Johanna kissed the handwriting, as she had so often kissed
the withered hand that had traced it, and then read the letter, feeling
as she did so the angry glance of his large eyes, and hearing the
muttered thunder of his voice. He wrote,--
"So much time elapsed between my letter and your answer, that
there can have been no inconsiderate haste on your part. You
have reflected upon all that required reflection, and therefore
there is scarcely any need of my express declaration that with
the breaking of your troth to Otto every tie between yourself
and myself and every member of my family, is severed forever.
How you justify yourself in casting a doubt upon Otto's
affection for you I cannot tell; at all events, you cannot
doubt his honour. _A Doenninghausen keeps his word._ And Otto
still feels himself bound, as he has repeatedly told me. I
thought you, too, a genuine child of my house; but you are only
the child of your mother, the first, the only Doenninghausen who
ever deviated from the paths of duty and honour. Otto will
write to you. If he succeeds in convincing and persuading you,
you shall still find me inclined to forgive; but decide
quickly, or this is the last word you will receive from your
grandfather,
"JOHANN FREIHERR VON DOeNNINGHAUSEN."
This was too much! Johanna folded the letter again with trembling hands.
Her mother, the patient sufferer, and she herself, who surely had never
'sought her own,' were disgraced and exiled, while Otto was looked upon
as the genuine Doenninghausen who keeps his word, and Magelone as one of
the blameless ones who have never strayed from the true path. Anger and
pride for a moment thrust pain into the background. She would be final
also, as her grandfather had been,--would prove to herself thus that she
was of his blood.
She went to the open window and looked out. On the other side of the
wall that bounded the little street lay a garden with fruit-trees and
beds of vegetables. It was late in the afternoon, and raining. From the
low clouds came the 'sound of vernal showers' filling the air and
rustling low among the tree-tops; a mingled fragrance of herbs, flowers,
and wet earth ascended to the window, and under the influence of the
murmuring sound and the scent-laden air her tormenting reflections faded
into dreamy revery. From the misty veil of the rain came trooping, at
first vaguely, but in ever-increasing distinctness, forms and
pictures,--the past and the present, the real and the unreal, blending
together. When the light was brought, Johanna awoke as from a deep
sleep.
And as she awoke she found herself back again in the midst of the old
life. Each throb of her heart brought with it a dull pain, a constant
grief. She saw with pitiless distinctness what she had lost. Anxiety for
Lisbeth oppressed her. And yet everything was changed! The spell that
had fettered her since that unhappy morning in the forest was broken,
and she looked beyond herself out into the eternal beauty of life, which
is independent of all individual happiness or misery.
As formerly in Doenninghausen, she now tried to fix and confirm in
writing the shadowy images that rose before her; but she did not do it
as then, only from a desire to liberate her soul. An impulse towards
artistic creation had awakened within her,--an inheritance from her
father, as she joyfully reflected,--and she began to group and arrange
as a whole that which her fancy showed her phantom-like and confused.
Hour after hour she sat at the improvised desk which she had placed at
the window of the sick-room. A new home was here given her in place of
the beautiful, beloved one she had lost. Or was it not rather a
home-coming, a recovery of the dear old haunts of memory? Banished from
Doenninghausen, she fled to Lindenbad. Amid the green valleys and hills
of the Thueringian forest she laid the scene of her story, and a
profusion of melodious echoes from the days of her early girlhood lent
it a brightness that refreshed Johanna herself.
Weeks passed; Johanna buried herself in her task with passionate
intensity. The hours of daylight often did not suffice her; and even
when her lamp was extinguished, darkness brought no repose. The phantoms
of her fancy crowded about her and kept her awake. And many were her
struggles with an imperfect, undeveloped power of expression, with an
uncertain hand, and an untrained eye.
That she should suffer physically under this constant nervous strain was
but natural. Several times the physician called Helena's attention to
the fact that her step-daughter needed exercise in the open air. At
last, when he found his warnings unheeded, he went to Batti and informed
him that unless some attention were paid to Fraeulein Johanna's health
they should soon have two nervous-fever patients in the house.
Batti rushed into his wife's room. "Helena, why have you so neglected
Johanna?" he shouted. "She will have nervous fever, and will die, all
through our fault. Curse me if I ever shall forgive myself! Come, come,
we must beg her to forgive us!"
With these words he rushed away again. Helena followed him, and found
him in the room up-stairs, confronting the astounded girl, clasping her
hand in his, while he overwhelmed her with entreaties, proposals, and
self-accusations. Helena must in future do her share of nursing. Johanna
must refresh herself, distract her mind; go to the circus, make
acquaintances. The end of it all was that he prevailed upon her to put
on her riding-habit. He would accompany her on her ride, and she should
try his Miss Jane, a mare positively made for her.
At first she felt embarrassed. Batti was not only a well-known character
in the sporting world,--there was no end of bows and nods from riders
and gay occupants of carriages,--he was also a great favourite with the
general populace. "There goes Batti! Batti!" the street-boys shouted
after him; and he threw trifling coins among the rabble, and laughed at
the scramble thus caused. But at last streets and promenades lay behind
them, and away they galloped through the open country. Miss Jane, a
delicate, high-bred creature, ran races with Batti's gray. After long
days of rain, field and forest lay basking in the sunshine. The breeze
was at once fresh and warm; to inhale the delicious air of which she had
so long been deprived was like a revivifying draught for Johanna. She
returned to the house refreshed and rejuvenated.
"By Jove, how well you look!" cried Batti, as he helped her to dismount.
"Pray glance at your mirror and then deny that you are a born
horsewoman."
This declaration, with a hundred variations of the same, was the theme
of all Carlo Batti's conversation with Johanna, and she saw him now more
frequently than formerly. Lisbeth's condition had suddenly improved: she
regained her consciousness; the fever left her; she slept, and her
appetite returned. She soon began to sit up for hours at a time. Batti
required, with a determination that admitted of no opposition, that
Johanna should indemnify herself for her long seclusion. And when Helena
declared that it would be very improper for her step-daughter to appear
without her at the circus, at the _table-d'hote_, and at Batti's little
suppers, he insisted that the maid should watch beside Lisbeth while her
mother and sister were absent. Johanna must learn to love the life for
which Batti destined her.
And she really enjoyed seeing the circus. The fine horses, the splendour
of the costumes, Batti's performances in riding and training his
animals, two beautiful blonde sisters, who were really fine performers
in their way, the numerous well-disciplined troupe, the brilliant
lights, the loud music, the enthusiastic applause of a large audience,
all contributed to produce upon Johanna an agreeably exciting
impression.
But she felt exceedingly uncomfortable in the circle in which she found
herself soon afterwards, at one of Batti's suppers. Men only were
invited,--partly members of the aristocracy, partly belonging to the
literary class. The tone which they adopted towards Batti hovered
between condescension and rude familiarity. When excited by wine he
began to brag. They drew him on without his perceiving it. Helena was
loaded by them with coarse flattery, which her insatiate vanity led her
to accept, well pleased.
Johanna, who was taken to table by a young and rather silent lieutenant,
looked on in silence. The place on her other side was empty. At last a
young man appeared, who, when greeted by Batti with reproaches for his
tardiness, excused himself on the plea of urgent work for his newspaper.
Batti signed to him to take the vacant seat beside Johanna, and
presented him to her as Dr. Edgar Stein.
"At last, Fraeulein!" he said. "You have been invisible for so long,
while our friend Batti has been unwearied in his wondrous tales of you,
that I began to regard you as a mythical being 'veiled in lovely
legend.'"
Johanna mutely inclined her head. The round, red face of the man, with
its bold blue eyes and cynical smile, made a most disagreeable
impression upon her.
Helena, who sat opposite, laughed in a constrained manner. "What has
Batti been saying?" she asked. "We must certainly find out, Johanna."
"Why, he described the Fraeulein half as one of the bold
horsewomen,--Wodan's daughters,--half as a Saint Elizabeth,--cheering
the sad, healing the sick, and so forth; then half as an aristocratic
lady, half as an artiste. And from what I see I believe it all."
Whereupon Dr. Stein bowed, and laughed as if in derision of his own
words.
"Johanna, you ought to be proud!" cried Helena. "Dr. Stein[1] is usually
quite what his name signifies towards women."
[Footnote 1: Anglice, _stone_.]
"But not towards you, fairest dame!" he replied. "You never deigned to
notice me, poor, pale moon among the stars that circle about your
sunlike majesty."
As he spoke, his glance seemed to ridicule all present. Helena smiled
contented; Johanna felt more and more disgusted. And although the young
man, strong in his armour of self-conceit, never suspected the sensation
he inspired, he could not but perceive that he was far from producing
upon Johanna the impression he had intended, and he was not the man to
forgive this.
The talk grew louder and freer. Even in her father's house this had
sometimes occurred; but Johanna had never felt disturbed by the
conversation there, where the refinement of the host had always
restrained the mirth and frivolity of his guests within certain limits.
But who was there to do that here? At last she could bear it no longer,
and, while a toast was being drunk standing, she contrived to withdraw
unperceived; and the next morning she explained that she could not leave
Lisbeth so late at night again. The child had discovered the absence of
her beloved nurse, had cried bitterly, and had not slept until some
time after Johanna's return. Henceforth Batti was obliged to content
himself with the daily ride which the physician ordered for the young
girl, and which she herself would have been sorry to omit.
She heard nothing further from Doenninghausen, although she had entreated
Aunt Thekla to write to her. Only a couple of large trunks, containing
all her belongings, had arrived. She unpacked them, shaking out every
article which they contained, in the hope of finding some scrap of
writing. In vain! Only a ring which Aunt Thekla had always worn had been
added to Johanna's small store of trinkets. Evidently the Freiherr had,
as he had warned her, forbidden all communication with her.
All the greater was her surprise, when one day a card was brought her,
upon which beneath the name of 'Dr. Urban Wolf' was written in pencil,
'with a message from Doenninghausen.'
For an instant she hesitated; but the longing to have some tidings of
her grandfather and aunt was victorious. As she could not at the time
leave Lisbeth, she placed the screen before the bed of the sleeping
child, and requested to have the stranger shown up.
"Pardon me for my intrusion," he said. "I ought to have asked an
introduction from Batti, but it was necessary that I should speak with
you alone."
Johanna was agreeably impressed. There was something in the stranger's
deep, full voice that reminded her of some tones of her father's. There,
however, the resemblance ended. Dr. Wolf's figure was short and slender,
and his pale, delicate face evidently Jewish.
"Pray be seated," she said, motioning him to a chair; and her breath
came short and quick as she added, "You bring me tidings of my
relatives; do you come from Doenninghausen?"
"No, I do not," he said, without looking up. "My father, Loebel Wolf, the
dealer in curiosities, is commissioned by the Freiherr von Doenninghausen
to make you a proposition, which I am to lay before you."
He paused, as if awaiting encouragement to proceed. Johanna, however,
gave him none, not knowing what to say, and he went on: "I fear I must
allude to matters which it is painful to you to----With regard to
certain jewels, an heirloom in the family; an inheritance from your
mother----"
"I make no claim to them!" Johanna interrupted him, and her voice
trembled. Was it possible that her grandfather could think her
mercenary?
"Permit me to conclude," the young man continued, and his tone and
manner showed how disagreeable he found his task. "The Freiherr wishes
to retain the jewels in the Doenninghausen family; but, since they are
undeniably yours, he can do so only by obtaining your consent that he
should purchase them from you. My father has appraised them; here is his
estimate in writing----" And he would have handed Johanna a folded piece
of paper. She declined it.
"No, no; this is out of the question!" she exclaimed. "That the jewels
are a family heirloom is quite enough to establish the fact that I can
have no possible claim upon them. And if I had, one does not sell family
jewels,--not even I, although I have no family!"
She arose and went to the window; the stranger must not perceive her
emotion.
Dr. Wolf also arose. "I have another commission to fulfil. The old
Freifraeulein Thekla sent for my father, begged him to come himself to
Hanover to transact this affair, to give you her affectionate greetings,
and then to let her know how you are. What shall I write to him?"
"That I am well," she said.
"Well!" the young man repeated. "Pardon me, Fraeulein, I cannot believe
it."
Johanna turned to him. "Herr Doctor," she said, with some haughtiness.
"Pardon me," he said again, looking her sadly in the face. "I have
scarcely seen you, but I know that this is no fitting home for you. How
long can you endure it? For the present you do so, because you feel that
you are needed here, but what will you do when that need no longer
exists?"
Johanna blushed crimson. "Herr Doctor," she began, "these are
questions----"
"Which you think I have no right to put," he completed her sentence; and
then went on, in his gentle, persistent voice, "I knew that I should
have to allude to what it would be most painful to you to have
mentioned, but it is best to tell you frankly how matters stand. The old
Freifraeulein confided to my father that the purchase of the jewels is a
mere pretence. The Freiherr has parted with you; but he cannot endure to
think of you, without means, exposed to the vicissitudes of life. His
pride will not allow him openly to offer you a helping hand, and yet he
feels it his duty to support you. Meet him half-way."
"Impossible!" Johanna declared.
He was silent for a while. "Pray do not let this be your final
decision," he entreated. "Reflect; think how long and sad the life has
been that has made your grandfather so hard, and be you all the gentler.
The repentance is bitter that comes too late." He stroked back his hair
from his forehead, and added, as if in self-reproach, "I pray you to
forgive my presumption! You do not know; I may one day, perhaps, be able
to explain----There is a certain community of suffering between us. I
will call in a few days for your answer to the Freiherr."
And, without waiting for a reply, he took his leave.