CHAPTER XXI

"What time is the carriage ordered for Mr. Nixon?" asked Marsham of his

servant.

"Her ladyship, sir, told me to tell the stables four-twenty at

Dunscombe."

"Let me hear directly the carriage arrives. And, Richard, go and see if

the Dunscombe paper is come, and bring it up."

The footman disappeared. As soon as the door was shut Marsham sank back

into his cushions with a stifled groan. He was lying on a sofa in his

own sitting-room. A fire burned in the grate, and Marsham's limbs were

covered with a rug. Yet it was only the first week of September, and the

afternoon was warm and sunny. The neuralgic pain, however, from which he

had suffered day and night since the attack upon him made him

susceptible to the slightest breath of chill.

The footman returned with the newspaper.

"Is her ladyship at home?"

"I think not, sir. I saw her ladyship go out a little while ago with

Miss Drake. Is there anything else I can get for you?"

"Make up the fire, please. Put the cigarettes here, and don't come till

I ring."

Marsham, left alone, lit a cigarette, and fell hungrily upon the paper,

his forehead and lips still drawn with pain. The paper contained an

account of the stone-throwing at Hartingfield, and of the injury to

himself; a full record of the last five or six days of the election, and

of the proceedings at the declaration of the poll; a report, moreover,

of the "chivalrous and sympathetic references" made by the newly elected

Conservative member to the "dastardly attack" upon his rival, which the

"whole of West Brookshire condemns and deplores."

The leading article "condemned" and "deplored," at considerable length

and in good set terms, through two paragraphs. In the third it "could

not disguise--from itself or its readers"--that Mr. Marsham's defeat by

so large a majority had been a strong probability from the first, and

had been made a certainty by the appearance on the eve of the poll of

"the Barrington letter." "No doubt, some day, Mr. Marsham will give his

old friends and former constituents in this division the explanations in

regard to this letter--taken in connection with his own repeated

statements at meetings and in the press--which his personal honor and

their long fidelity seem to demand. Meanwhile we can only express to our

old member our best wishes both for his speedy recovery from the effects

of a cowardly and disgraceful attack, and for the restoration of a

political position which only a few months ago seemed so strong and so

full of promise."

Marsham put down the paper. He could see the whipper-snapper of an

editor writing the lines, with a wary eye both to the past and future of

the Marsham influence in the division. The self-made, shrewd little man

had been Oliver's political slave and henchman through two Parliaments;

and he had no doubt reflected that neither the Tallyn estates, nor the

Marsham wealth had been wiped out by the hostile majority of last

Saturday. At the same time, the state of feeling in the division was too

strong; the paper which depended entirely on local support could not

risk its very existence by countering it.

Marsham's keen brain spared him nothing. His analysis of his own

situation, made at leisure during the week which had elapsed since the

election, had been as pitiless and as acute as that of any opponent

could have been. He knew exactly what he had lost, and why.

A majority of twelve hundred against him, in a constituency where, up to

the dissolution, he had commanded a majority--for him--of fifteen

hundred. And that at a general election, when his party was sweeping

the country!

He had, of course, resigned his office, and had received a few civil and

sympathetic words from the Premier--words which but for his physical

injury, so the recipient of them suspected, might have been a good deal

less civil and less sympathetic. No effort had been made to delay the

decision. For a Cabinet Minister, defeated at a bye-election, a seat

must be found. For a Junior Lord and a Second Whip nobody will put

themselves out.

He was, therefore, out of Parliament and out of office; estranged from

multitudes of old friends; his name besmirched by some of the most

damaging accusations that can be brought against a man's heart

and honor.

He moved irritably among his cushions, trying to arrange them more

comfortably. This _infernal_ pain! It was to be hoped Nixon would be

able to do more for it than that ass, the Dunscombe doctor. Marsham

thought, with resentment, of all his futile drugs and expedients.

According to the Dunscombe man, the stone had done no vital injury, but

had badly bruised one of the lower vertebræ, and jarred the nerves of

the spine generally. Local rest, various applications, and

nerve--soothing drugs--all these had been freely used, and with no

result. The pain had been steadily growing worse, and in the last

twenty-four hours certain symptoms had appeared, which, when he first

noticed them, had roused in Marsham a gust of secret terror; and Nixon,

a famous specialist in nerve and spinal disease, had been summoned

forthwith.

To distract his thoughts, Marsham took up the paper again.

What was wrong with the light? He looked at the clock, and read it with

some difficulty. Close on four only, and the September sun was shining

brightly outside. It was his eyes, he supposed, that were not quite

normal Very likely. A nervous shock must, of course, show itself in a

variety of ways. At any rate, he found reading difficult, and the paper

slid away.

The pain, however, would not let him doze. He looked helplessly round

the room, feeling depressed and wretched. Why were his mother and Alicia

out so long? They neglected and forgot him. Yet he could not but

remember that they had both devoted themselves to him in the morning,

had read to him and written for him, and he had not been a very grateful

patient. He recalled, with bitterness, the look of smiling relief with

which Alicia had sprung up at the sound of the luncheon-bell, dropping

the book from which she had been reading aloud, and the little song he

had heard her humming in the corridor as she passed his door on her way

down-stairs.

_She_ was in no pain physical or mental, and she had probably no

conception of what he had endured these six days and nights. But one

would have thought that mere instinctive sympathy with the man to whom

she was secretly engaged.

For they were secretly engaged. It was during one of their early drives,

in the canvassing of the first election, that he had lost his head one

June afternoon, as they found themselves alone, crossing a beech wood on

one of the private roads of the Tallyn estate; the groom having been

despatched on a message to a farm-house. Alicia was in her most daring

and provocative mood, tormenting and flattering him by turns; the

reflections from her rose-colored parasol dappling her pale skin with

warm color; her beautiful ungloved hands and arms, bare to the elbow,

teasing the senses of the man beside her. Suddenly he had thrown his arm

round her, and crushed her to him, kissing the smooth cool face and the

dazzling hair. And she had nestled up to him and laughed--not the least

abashed or astonished; so that even then, through his excitement, there

had struck a renewed and sharp speculation as to her twenty-four hours'

engagement to the Curate, in the spring of the year; as to the

privileges she must have allowed him; and no doubt to others before him.

At that time, it was tacitly understood between them that no engagement

could be announced. Alicia was well aware that Brookshire was looking

on; that Brookshire was on the side of Diana Mallory, the forsaken, and

was not at all inclined to forgive either the deserting lover or the

supplanting damsel; so that while she was not loath to sting and mystify

Brookshire by whatever small signs of her power over Oliver Marsham she

could devise; though she queened it beside him on his coach, and took

charge with Lady Lucy of his army of women canvassers; though she faced

the mob with him at Hartingfield, on the occasion of the first

disturbance there in June, and had stood beside him, vindictively

triumphant on the day of his first hard-won victory, she would wear no

ring, and she baffled all inquiries, whether of her relations or her

girl friends. Her friendship with her cousin Oliver was nobody's concern

but her own, she declared, and all they both wanted was to be let alone.

Meanwhile she had been shaken and a little frightened by the hostile

feeling shown toward her, no less than Oliver, in the first election.

She had taken no part in the second, although she had been staying at

Tallyn all through it, and was present when Oliver was brought in, half

fainting and agonized with pain, after the Hartingfield riot.

* * * * *

Oliver, now lying with closed eyes on his sofa, lived again through the

sensations and impressions of that first hour: the pain--the arrival of

the doctor--the injection of morphia--the blessed relief stealing

through his being--and then Alicia's face beside him. Delivered from the

obsession of intolerable anguish, he had been free to notice with a kind

of exultation the tears in the girl's eyes, her pale tremor and silence.

Never yet had Alicia wept for _him_ or anything that concerned him.

Never, indeed, had he seen her weep in his whole life before. He

triumphed in her tears.

Since then, however, their whole relation had insensibly and radically

changed; their positions toward each other were reversed. Till the day

of his injury and his defeat, Marsham had been in truth the wooed and

Alicia the wooer. Now it seemed to him as though, through his physical

pain, he were all the time clinging to something that shrank away and

resisted him--something that would ultimately elude and escape him.

He knew well that Alicia liked sickness and melancholy no more than he

did; and he was constantly torn between a desire to keep her near him

and a perception that to tie her to his sick-room was, in fact, the

worst of policies.

Persistently, in the silence of the hot room, there rang through his

brain the questions: "Do I really care whether she stays or goes?--do I

love her?--shall I ever marry her?" Questions that were immediately

answered, it seemed, by the rise of a wave of desolate and desperate

feeling. He was maimed and ruined; life had broken under his feet. What

if also he were done forever with love and marriage?

There were still some traces in his veins of the sedative drug which had

given him a few hours' sleep during the night. Under its influence a

feverish dreaminess overtook him, alive with fancies and images. Ferrier

and Diana were among the phantoms that peopled the room. He saw Ferrier

come in, stoop over the newspaper on the floor, raise it, and walk

toward the fire with it. The figure stood with its back to him; then

suddenly it turned, and Marsham saw the well-known face, intent, kindly,

a little frowning, as though in thought, but showing no consciousness of

his, Oliver's, presence or plight. He himself wished to speak, but was

only aware of useless effort and some intangible hinderance. Then

Ferrier moved on toward a writing-table with drawers that stood beyond

the fireplace. He stooped, and touched a handle. "No!" cried Oliver,

violently--"no!" He woke with shock and distress, his pulse racing. But

the feverish state began again, and dreams with it--of the House of

Commons, the election, the faces in the Hartingfield crowd. Diana was

among the crowd--looking on--vaguely beautiful and remote. Yet as he

perceived her a rush of cool air struck on his temples, he seemed to be

walking down a garden, there was a scent of limes and roses.

"Oliver!" said his mother's voice beside him--"dear Oliver!"

He roused himself to find Lady Lucy bending over him. The pale dismay in

her face excited and irritated him.

He turned away from her.

"Is Nixon come?"

"Dearest, he has just arrived. Will you see him at once?"

"Of course!" he said, angrily. "Why doesn't Richard do as he's told?"

He raised himself into a sitting posture, while Lady Lucy went to the

door. The local doctor entered--a stranger behind him. Lady Lucy left

her son and the great surgeon together.

* * * * *

Nearly an hour later, Mr. Nixon, waylaid by Lady Lucy, was doing his

best to compromise, as doctors must, between consideration for the

mother and truth as to the Son. There was, he hoped, no irreparable

injury. But the case would be long, painful, trying to everybody

concerned. Owing to the mysterious nerve-sympathies of the body, the

sight was already affected and would be more so. Complete rest, certain

mechanical applications, certain drugs--he ran through his

recommendations.

"Avoid morphia, I implore you," he said, earnestly, "if you possibly

can. Here a man's friends can be of great help to him. Cheer him and

distract him in every way you can. I think we shall be able to keep the

pain within bounds."

Lady Lucy looked piteously at the speaker.

"And how long?" she said, trembling.

Mr. Nixon hesitated. "I am afraid I can hardly answer that. The blow was

a most unfortunate one. It might have done a worse injury. Your son

might be now a paralyzed invalid for life. But the case is very serious,

nor is it possible yet to say what all the consequences of the injury

may be. But keep your own courage up--and his. The better his general

state, the more chance he has."

A few minutes more, and the brougham had carried him away. Lady Lucy,

looking after it from the window of her sitting-room, knew that for her

at last what she had been accustomed to describe every Sunday as "the

sorrows of this transitory life" had begun. Till now they had been as

veiled shapes in a misty distance. She had accepted them with religious

submission, as applying to others. Her mind, resentful and astonished,

must now admit them--pale messengers of powers unseen and pitiless!--to

its own daily experience; must look unprotected, unscreened, into their

stern faces.

"John!--John!" cried the inner voice of agonized regret. And then: "My

boy!--my boy!"

* * * * *

"What did he say?" asked Alicia's voice, beside her.

The sound--the arm thrown round her--were not very welcome to Lady Lucy.

Her nature, imperious and jealously independent, under all her sweetness

of manner, set itself against pity, especially from her juniors. She

composed herself at once.

"He does not give a good account," she said, withdrawing herself gently

but decidedly. "It may take a long time before Oliver is quite

himself again."

Alicia persisted in a few questions, extracting all the information she

could. Then Lady Lucy sat down at her writing-table and began to arrange

some letters. Alicia's presence annoyed her. The truth was that she was

not as fond of Alicia as she had once been. These misfortunes, huddling

one on another, instead of drawing them together, had in various and

subtle ways produced a secret estrangement. To neither the older nor the

younger woman could the familiar metaphor have been applied which

compares the effects of sorrow or sympathy on fine character to the

bruising of fragrant herbs. Ferrier's death, sorely and bitterly

lamented though it was, had not made Lady Lucy more lovable. Oliver's

misfortune had not--toward Lady Lucy, at any rate--liberated in Alicia

those hidden tendernesses that may sometimes transmute and glorify

natures apparently careless or stubborn, brought eye to eye with pain.

Lady Lucy also resented her too long exclusion from Alicia's confidence.

Like all the rest of the world, she believed there was an understanding

between Oliver and Alicia. Of course, there were reasons for not making

anything of the sort public at present. But a mother, she thought, ought

to have been told.

"Does Mr. Nixon recommend that Oliver should go abroad for the winter?"

asked Alicia, after a pause. She was sitting on the arm of a chair, her

slender feet hanging, and the combination of her blue linen dress with

the fiery gold of her hair reminded Lady Lucy of the evening in the

Eaton Square drawing-room, when she had first entertained the idea that

Alicia and Oliver might marry. Oliver, standing erect in front of the

fire looking down upon Alicia in her blue tulle--his young vigor and

distinction--the carriage of his handsome head--was she never to see

that sight again--never? Her heart fluttered and sank; the prison of

life contracted round her.

She answered, rather shortly.

"He made no plan of the kind. Travelling, in fact, is absolutely

forbidden for the present."

"Poor Oliver!" said Alicia, gently, her eyes on the ground. "How

_horrid_ it is that I have to go away!"

"You! When?" Lady Lucy turned sharply to look at the speaker.

"Oh! not till Saturday," said Alicia, hastily; "and of course I shall

come back again--if you want me." She looked up with a smile.

"Oliver will certainly want you; I don't know whom he

could--possibly--want--so much." Lady Lucy spoke the words with

slow emphasis.

"Dear old boy!--I know," murmured Alicia. "I needn't be long away."

"Why must you go at all? I am sure the Treshams--Lady Evelyn--would

understand--"

"Oh, I promised so faithfully!" pleaded Alicia, joining her hands. "And

then, you know, I should be able to bring all sorts of gossip back to

Oliver to amuse him."

Lady Lucy pressed her hand to her eyes in a miserable bewilderment. "I

suppose it will be an immense party. You told me, I think, that Lady

Evelyn had asked Lord Philip Darcy. I should be glad if you would make

her understand that neither I, nor Sir James Chide, nor any other old

friend of Mr. Ferrier can ever meet that man on friendly terms again."

She looked up, her wrinkled cheeks flushed with color, her aspect

threatening and cold.

"Of course!" said Alicia, soothingly. "Hateful man! I too loathe the

thought of meeting him. But you know how delicate Evelyn is, and how she

has been depending on me to help her. Now, oughtn't we to go back to

Oliver?" She rose from her chair.

"Mr. Nixon left some directions to which I must attend," said Lady Lucy,

turning to her desk. "Will you go and read to him?"

Alicia moved away, but paused as she neared the door.

"What did Mr. Nixon say about Oliver's eyes? He has been suffering from

them dreadfully to-day."

"Everything is connected. We can only wait."

"Are you--are you thinking of a nurse?"

"No," said Lady Lucy, decidedly. "His man Richard is an excellent nurse.

I shall never leave him--and you say"--she turned pointedly to look at

Alicia--"you say you will come back?"

"Of course!--of course I will come back!" cried Alicia. Then, stepping

up briskly to Lady Lucy, she stooped and kissed her. "And there is you

to look after, too!"

Lady Lucy allowed the kiss, but made no reply to the remark. Alicia

departed.

* * * * *

She went slowly up the wide oak staircase. How stifling the house was on

this delicious afternoon! Suddenly, in the distance, she heard the sound

of guns--a shooting-party, no doubt, in the Melford woods. Her feet

danced under her, and she gave a sigh of longing for the stubbles and

the sunny fields, and the companionship of handsome men, of health and

vigor as flawless and riotous as her own.

Oliver was lying still, with closed eyes, when she rejoined him. He made

no sign as she opened the door, and she sank down on a stool beside him

and laid her head against his shoulder.

"Dear Oliver, you must cheer up," she said, softly. "You'll be well

soon--quite soon--if you are only patient."

He made no reply.

"Did you like Mr. Nixon?" she asked, in the same caressing voice, gently

rubbing her cheek against his arm.

"One doesn't exactly like one's executioner," he said, hoarsely and

suddenly, but without opening his eyes.

"Oliver!--dearest!" She dropped a protesting kiss on the sleeve of his

coat.

Silence for a little, Alicia felt as if she could hardly breathe in the

hot room. Then Oliver raised himself.

"I am going blind!"--he said, violently. "And nothing can be done. Did

that man tell my mother that?"

"No, no!--Oliver!" She threw her arm round him, hastily repeating and

softening Nixon's opinion.

He sank back on his cushions, gloomily listening--without assent.

Presently he shook his head.

"The stuff that doctors talk when they can do no good, and want to get

comfortably out of the house! Alicia!"

She bent forward startled.

"Alicia!--are you going to stick to me?"

His eyes held her.

"Oliver!--what a cruel question!"

"No, it is not cruel." He spoke with a decision which took no account of

her caresses. "I ought to give you up--I know that perfectly well. But

I tell you frankly I shall have no motive to get well if you leave me. I

think that man told me the truth--I did my best to make him. There _is_

a chance of my getting well--the thing is _not_ hopeless. If you'll

stand by me, I'll fight through. Will you?" He looked at her with a

threatening and painful eagerness.

"Of course I will," she said, promptly.

"Then let us tell my mother to-night that we are engaged? Mind, I am not

deceiving you. I would give you up at once if I were hopelessly ill. I

am only asking you to bear a little waiting--and wretchedness--for

my sake."

"I will bear anything. Only, dear Oliver--for your sake--for mine--wait

a little longer! You know what horrible gossip there's been!" She clung

to him, murmuring: "I couldn't bear that anybody should speak or think

harshly of you now. It can make no difference to you and me, but two or

three months hence everybody would take it so differently. You know we

said in June--six months."

Her voice was coaxing and sweet. He partly withdrew himself from her,

however.

"At least, you can tell my mother," he said, insisting. "Of course, she

suspects it all."

"Oh, but, dear Oliver!"--she brought her face nearer to his, and he saw

the tears in her eyes--"one's own mother ought to know first of all.

Mamma would be so hurt--she would never forgive me. Let me pay this

horrid visit--and then go home and tell my people--if you really, really

wish it. Afterward of course, I shall come back to you--and Cousin Lucy

shall know--and at Christmas--everybody."

"What visit? You _are_ going to Eastham?--to the Tresham's?" It was a

cry of incredulous pain.

"How _can_ I get out of it, dear Oliver? Evelyn has been _so_ ill!--and

she's been depending on me--and I owe her so much. You know how good she

was to me in the Season."

He lifted himself again on his cushions, surveying her ironically--his

eyes sunken and weak--his aspect ghastly.

"Well, how long do you mean to stay? Is Lord Philip going to be there?"

"What do I care whether he is or not!"

"You said you were longing to know him."

"That was before you were ill."

"I don't see any logic in that remark." He lay looking at her. Then

suddenly he put out an arm, pulled her down to him feebly, and kissed

her. But the movement hurt him. He turned away with some broken

words--or, rather, moans--stifled against his pillows.

"Dear, do lie still. Shall I read to you?"

He shook his head.

"Don't stay with me. I shall be better after dinner."

She rose obediently, touched him caressingly with her hand, drew a light

shawl over him, and stole away.

* * * * *

When she reached her own room she stood a moment, frowning and absorbed;

beside the open window. Then some one knocked at her door. It was her

maid, who came in carrying a large light box.

Alicia flew toward her.

"From Cosette! Heavens! Oh, Benson, quick! Put it down. I'll help you."

The maid obeyed, and ran to the dressing-table for scissors. Cords and

tapes were soon cut in the hurry of unpacking, and from the crackling

tissue-paper there emerged an evening gown of some fresh snowy stuff,

delicately painted and embroidered, which drew from the maid little

shrieks of admiration.

Alicia looked at it more critically.

"The lace is not good enough," she said, twisting her lip, "and I shall

make her give me some more embroidery than that on the bodice--for the

money--I can tell her! However, it is pretty--much prettier, isn't it,

Benson, than that gown of Lady Evelyn's I took it from? She'll be

jealous!" The girl laughed triumphantly. "Well, now, look here, Benson,

we're going on Saturday, and I want to look through my gowns. Get them

out, and I'll see if there's anything I can send home."

The maid's face fell.

"I packed some of them this morning, miss--in the large American trunk.

I thought they'd keep better there than anywhere. It took a lot

of time."

"Oh, never mind. You can easily pack them again. I really must go

through them."

The maid unwillingly obeyed; and soon the room--bed, sofa, chairs--was

covered with costly gowns, for all hours of the day and night:

walking-dresses, in autumn stuffs and colors, ready for the moors and

stubbles; afternoon frocks of an elaborate simplicity, expensively

girlish; evening dresses in an amazing variety of hue and fabric; with

every possible adjunct in the way of flowers, gloves, belt, that

dressmakers and customer could desire.

Alicia looked at it all with glowing cheeks. She reflected that she had

really spent the last check she had made her father give her to very

great Advantage. There were very few people of her acquaintance, girls

or married women, who knew how to get as much out of money as she did.

In her mind she ran over the list of guests invited to the Eastham

party, as her new friend Lady Evelyn had confided it to her. Nothing

could be smarter, but the competition among the women would be terribly

keen. "Of course, I can't touch duchesses," she thought, laughing to

herself, "or American millionaires. But I shall do!"

And her mind ran forward in a dream of luxury and delight. She saw

herself sitting or strolling in vast rooms amid admiring groups; mirrors

reflected her; she heard the rustle of her gowns on parquet or marble,

the merry sound of her own laughter; other girls threw her the incense

of their envy and imitation; and men, fresh and tanned from shooting,

breathing the joy of physical life, devoted themselves to her pleasure,

or encircled her with homage. Not always chivalrous, or delicate, or

properly behaved--these men of her imagination! What matter? She loved

adventures! And moving like a king among the rest, she saw the thin,

travel-beaten, eccentric form of Lord Philip--the hated, adored,

pursued; Society's idol and bugbear all in one; Lord Philip, who shunned

and disliked women; on whom, nevertheless, the ambitions and desires of

some of the loveliest women in England were, on that account alone, and

at this moment of his political triumph, the more intently and the more

greedily fixed.

A flash of excitement ran through her. In Lady Evelyn's letter of that

morning there was a mention of Lord Philip. "I told him you were to be

here. He made a note of it, and I do at last believe he won't throw us

over, as he generally does."

She dressed, still in a reverie, speechless under her maid's hands.

Then, as she emerged upon the gallery, looking down upon the ugly hall

of Tallyn, she remembered that she had promised to go back after dinner

and read to Oliver. Her nature rebelled in a moral and physical nausea,

and it was all she could do to meet Lady Lucy at their solitary dinner

with her usual good temper.

The Testing of Diana Mallory · 第 8 / 11 章