_An Odd Angler_.
Dr. Birch was very fond of angling, and devoted much time to that
amusement. In order to deceive the fish, he had a dress constructed,
which, when he put it on, made him appear like an old tree. His arms
he conceived would appear like branches, and the line like a long
spray. In this sylvan attire he used to take root by the side of a
favourite stream, and imagined that his motions might seem to the fish
to be the effect of the wind.--He pursued this amusement for some
years in the same habit, till he was ridiculed out of it by his
friends.
_Jack Spencer_.
It is said that he once contrived to collect a party of hunch-backed
men to dine with him, some of whom indignantly quitted the table.
Another whimsical party which he assembled at his house consisted
merely of a number of persons all of whom stuttered; but this meeting
at first threatened serious consequences, for each supposed he was
mocked by the other, and it was with great difficulty that their host
restored peace, by acknowledging the ludicrous purpose of his
invitation.
_Dr. Johnson._
Dr. Johnson was long a bigoted Jacobite. When he was walking with some
friends in Kensington Gardens, one of them observed that it was a fine
place. "Phoo," said Johnson, "nothing can be fine that belongs to a
usurper." Dr. Monsey assured me, that once in company, when the
conversation was on the age of King George the Third, he heard him
say, "What does it signify when such an animal was born, or whether he
ever existed?" Yet he afterwards said, in his account of his interview
with His Majesty, that it was not for him "to bandy compliments with
_his sovereign_."
_Cards._
Mr. Murphy told me also, that he was once present at Tom's
Coffee-house, in Russell Street Covent Garden, which was only open to
subscribers, when Colley Cibber was engaged at whist, and an old
General was his partner. As the cards were dealt to him, he took up
every one in turn, and expressed his disappointment at every
indifferent one. In the progress of the game he did not follow suit,
and his partner said, "What! have you not a spade, Mr. Cibber?" The
latter, looking at his cards, answered, "Oh, yes, a thousand;" which
drew a very peevish comment from the General. On which Cibber, who was
shockingly addicted to swearing, replied, "Don't be angry, for ---- I
can play ten times worse if I like."
_All on one Side._
Major Grose told me that when he was quartered in Dublin, he ordered
an Irish sergeant to exercise the men in shooting at a mark. The
sergeant had placed a pole for them to take aim, stationing a certain
number on one side, and an equal number on the other, in direct
opposition. The Major happened to reach the spot just as they were
going to fire, stopped them, and expressed his surprise that the
sergeant should have placed them in so dangerous a position, as they
must necessarily wound, if not kill each other. "Kill each other!"
said the sergeant, "why, they are all our own men." As the men so
contentedly remained in the dangerous position, it may be inferred
that they were as wise as the sergeant. This story illustrates that of
Lord Thomond's cooks, which when the keeper let loose, were fighting
each other,--much to his surprise he said, as they belonged to one
person, and were "_all on the same side_."
_Vails to Servants._
It is said that this practice prevailed to such a degree, even at the
house of the great Lord Chesterfield, that when he invited Voltaire a
second time to his table, the French wit in his answer declined the
invitation, alleging that "his lordship's _ordinary_ was _too dear_."
Another evil practice of servants to the higher orders, at that time,
was carried to such a height that it wrought its own cure. It was
usual at the old Italian Opera-house to allot a gallery to the
footmen, that when their masters or mistresses had appointed the time
to leave the theatre, their servants might be ready to attend. But
these _livery-men_ took it into their heads to become critics upon the
performances, and delivered their comments in so tumultuous a manner,
that the managers found it absolutely necessary to close the gallery
against them, and to assign it to those only who paid for admission.
Just before the abolition of this _party-coloured_ tribunal, a wag who
was fond of music, but who had more wit than money, appeared at the
gallery door, when the porter demanded the name of his master. The wag
boldly answered, "I am the Lord Jehovah's servant," and was admitted,
one of the door-keepers saying to the other, "I never heard of that
man's master before, but suppose it is some scurvy Scotch lord or
other."
_New Reading._
Mr. John Kemble used to relate many whimsical anecdotes of provincial
actors whom he knew in the early part of his life. He said that an
actor who was to perform the character of _Kent_ in the play of "King
Lear," had dressed himself like a doctor, with a large grizzle wig,
having a walking-stick, which he held up to his nose, and a box under
his arm. Being asked why he dressed the Earl of Kent in that manner,
he said, "People mistake the character; he was not an earl, but a
doctor. Does not Kent say, when the king draws his sword on him for
speaking in favour of Cordelia, 'Do kill thy _physician_, Lear;' and
when the king tells him to take his 'hated trunk from his dominions,'
and Kent says, 'Now to new climes my old trunk I'll bear,' what could
he mean but his _medicine chest_, to practise in another country?"
_Absence._
The first Lord Lyttleton was very absent in company, and when he fell
into a river, by the oversetting of a boat, at Hagley, it was said of
him that he had "sunk twice before he recollected he could swim." Mr.
Jerningham told me, that dining one day with his lordship, the earl
pointed to a particular dish, and asked to be helped of it, calling
it, however, by a name very different from what the dish contained. A
gentleman was going to tell him of his mistake. "Never mind,"
whispered another of the party; "help him to what he asked for, and he
will suppose it is what he wanted."
Arthur Murphy, whose mind was chiefly occupied by dramatic subjects,
after he became a barrister, dining one Sunday at the chaplain's
table, St. James's Palace, being too early, strolled into the Chapel
Royal during the service, and desiring a seat, he thus addressed one
of the attendants on the pews, "Here, _boxkeeper_, open this _box_."
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