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Penobscot, Maine
July 20
Dear Joe:
Now you tell me not to drink alcohol. Why not? You never mentioned it
in any of your vibrations to us, gleebs ago, when you first came across
to this world. It will stint my powers? Nonsense! Already I have had a
quart of the liquid today. I feel wonderful. Get that? I actually feel
wonderful, in spite of this miserable imitation of a body.
There are long hours during which I am so well-integrated into this
body and this world that I almost consider myself a member of it. Now
I can function efficiently. I sent Blgftury some long reports today
outlining my experiments in the realm of chemistry where we must
finally defeat these people. Of course, I haven't made the experiments
yet, but I will. This is not deceit, merely realistic anticipation of
the inevitable. Anyway, what the old xbyzrt doesn't know won't muss his
vibrations.
I went to what they call a nightclub here and picked out a
blonde-haired woman, the kind that the books say men prefer. She was
attracted to me instantly. After all, the body I have devised is
perfect in every detail ... actually a not-world ideal.
I didn't lose any time overwhelming her susceptibilities. I remember
distinctly that just as I stooped to pick up a large roll of money I
had dropped, her eyes met mine and in them I could see her admiration.
We went to my suite and I showed her one of the money rooms. Would you
believe it? She actually took off her shoes and ran around through the
money in her bare feet! Then we kissed.
Concealed in the dermis of the lips are tiny, highly sensitized nerve
ends which send sensations to the brain. The brain interprets these
impulses in a certain manner. As a result, the fate of secretion in the
adrenals on the ends of the kidneys increases and an enlivening of the
entire endocrine system follows. Thus I felt the beginnings of love.
I sat her down on a pile of money and kissed her again. Again the
tingling, again the secretion and activation. I integrated myself
quickly.
Now in all the motion pictures--true representations of life and love
in this world--the man with a lot of money or virtue kisses the girl
and tries to induce her to do something biological. She then refuses.
This pleases both of them, for he wanted her to refuse. She, in turn,
wanted him to want her, but also wanted to prevent him so that he would
have a high opinion of her. Do I make myself clear?
I kissed the blonde girl and gave her to understand what I then wanted.
Well, you can imagine my surprise when she said yes! So I had failed. I
had not found love.
I became so abstracted by this problem that the blonde girl fell
asleep. I thoughtfully drank quantities of excellent alcohol called gin
and didn't even notice when the blonde girl left.
I am now beginning to feel the effects of this alcohol again. Ha. Don't
I wish old Blgftury were here in the vibrational pattern of an olive?
I'd get the blonde in and have her eat him out of a Martini. That is a
gin mixture.
I think I'll get a hot report off to the old so-and-so right now. It'll
take him a gleeb to figure this one out. I'll tell him I'm setting up
an atomic reactor in the sewage systems here and that all we have to do
is activate it and all the not-people will die of chain asphyxiation.
Boy, what an easy job this turned out to be. It's just a vacation. Joe,
you old gold-bricker, imagine you here all these gleebs living off the
fat of the land. Yak, yak. Affectionately.