EVIL DAYS.
With the cheering thought that she was punished, and that perhaps her
fault was thus in some little way atoned for, and with the happy
conviction that her husband loved her for her own sake, and not for that
of her money, Sophy Gregory recovered from the weight of her sorrow and
remorse more quickly than could have been expected; and by the end of
another ten days she was able to leave her room, and go for a little
walk leaning upon Robert's arm. That evening they were sitting before
the fire; Robert looking moodily into it, but sometimes rousing himself
and trying to talk pleasantly to Sophy, who was watching him a little
anxiously, when she said, after one of these pauses,--
"I think, Robert, now that I am getting strong again, we ought to talk
about the future. I am sure that by the time we have paid all we owe
here, we shall not have much left out of our hundred pounds."
Sophy might have said, "my hundred pounds;" for it was she who had
furnished the funds for their elopement. Mr. Harmer had been in the
habit of giving her money from time to time, for which she had little
use; and this had, at the time she left home with Robert Gregory,
accumulated to rather more than a hundred pounds.
"The first thing to be done, Robert, is to find some very cheap
lodgings. How cheap could you get two little rooms?"
Robert roused himself; he was pleased at Sophy's broaching the subject;
for he had been all day wondering what they were to do, as of course it
was out of the question that they could remain where they were. It was a
small private hotel where Robert had gone the night of their return from
Scotland, thinking that their stay there would not have exceeded three
or four days at most, whereas now it had run on to more than a
fortnight.
"You are quite right, Sophy, although I did not like to begin the
conversation. It seems so hard for you, accustomed as you have been to
luxury, to go into all the discomfort of small lodgings."
"My dear Robert," Sophy said, "please don't talk in that way. I am your
wife, and shall be very happy anywhere with you; besides I have not been
always accustomed to luxury. I was born and lived until I was twelve or
thirteen in a cottage as a poor village girl. And please do not remind
me of scenes where I had no right, and where I never deserved to have
been. Do not let us think of the past at all, Robert; it is perhaps not
very pleasant for either of us. Let us think of the future--it is all
before us, and we are not worse off than thousands of others; but you
did not answer my question, how cheap could we get a little parlour and
bedroom?"
"We could get them, Sophy, in some out-of-the-way place, such as
Islington, or Camberwell, or Chelsea, at about twelve shillings a week;
but remember, they would be very small."
"That is of no consequence at all," Sophy said, cheerfully. "Now I will
tell you what I have been thinking of. I have been thinking that when we
have gone into some little lodgings, and people come to know us, the
tradesmen round will let me put some cards into the windows, saying that
a lady wishes to give some lessons in music, French, and German. If I
charge very little, say one shilling an hour, I should think I might get
five or six daily pupils, which would bring us in some thirty or
thirty-six shillings a week, and we might manage on that, Robert, for a
time; after paying our bill here, there will be enough to keep us for
some time till I can get some pupils."
"Sophy," Robert said, in a deep, husky voice, "God forgive me, I have
been a great scoundrel. I have ruined you. I have dragged you down to
this; and here are you now, hardly able to walk, offering to support us
both. Oh, Sophy, I wish to heaven I had never known you." And the
strong, bad man put his face between his hands and fairly cried.
"But I do not wish so, Robert," Sophy said, getting up from her seat,
taking his hands from his face, kissing him fondly, and then seating
herself on his knees, and nestling up to him as a child might have done;
"I do not, and therefore why should you? Would it not be a pleasure to
you to work for both of us, if you had any way to do so? but as of
course you cannot, why should I not have the pleasure? It need not in
any case be for long, dear. Agnes Ashleigh in her letter this morning
says that she does not give up hope, and that she has already got a
servant at Harmer Place to look for the secret chamber; let us wait for
the issue of the search, and let me do as I propose for that time. If
after a time the will cannot be found, will it not be better for us to
go either to Australia or America? I hear any one can get work there,
and we will both work and get quite rich, and that will be much more
enjoyable than owing it to another. I am sure Dr. Ashleigh will lend us
enough money to take us out there. What do you think, Robert?"
"Yes, darling, it will be far best. I shall never do any good here: out
there I may. But I shall not give up the will for a long time yet; but
once assured, quite assured, that it is not in existence, I shall be
ready to start with you at once."
And then they talked over a new life in a new land, as thousands and
thousands have done since then; and the future looked bright and happy
out there. Australia is indeed a land of promise, a bright star in the
horizon, to countless numbers whose fate it never is to reach it; but
who have yet--when almost hopeless of keeping themselves afloat in the
fierce struggle for existence in this crowded land--looked longingly
over across the wide ocean, and said, "At the worst, we can go there,
where every strong arm and willing heart is welcome. If we cannot get on
here, we will go." Perhaps they never do go, but still it has served its
purpose; it has given them hope when hope was most needed, and when
without it they might have yielded in despair to the reverses of
fortune.
The next morning Robert Gregory started in search of lodgings, and
returned in the afternoon, saying that he had found some across in
Lambeth, which were very small, but were clean and respectable, and
which were to be had for the twelve shillings a week. Into this they
moved next day, and they found on paying their hotel bill, that they had
twenty pounds left out of Sophy's hundred, and this they calculated
would, with care, last for three months. The lodgings, which were
situated in King Edward Street, Westminster Bridge Road, consisted of a
parlour, and bedroom behind it. The parlour was very small, but clean,
and Sophy felt quite happy as mistress of her little domain, which under
her care soon assumed a homelike appearance.
The first step was to clear away those innumerable extraordinary
knicknacks with which small lodging-house keepers delight to cumber
their rooms. The inevitable shepherdesses and imitation Bohemian glass
vases on the mantelpiece, the equally inevitable shells on coloured
worsted mats, and the basket of wax fruit under a glass shade, standing
on the little round table in the middle of the window.
These alterations the landlady complied with without hesitation, rather
pleased indeed that these valuables should be placed beyond risk of
breakage; but the next change proposed was evidently very wounding to
her feelings, and was not complied with until it was made the sole
condition on which her lodgers would take the rooms beyond the first
week for which they had engaged them.
Over the chimneypiece was a glass, about three feet by two; it could not
fairly be termed a looking-glass, for its ripply surface seemed agitated
as by a gale, and no reflexion which it gave back in the slightest
degree resembled the original. Still it was to a certain extent
ornamental; for it was enclosed in a wide, dark wood frame, with a gilt
ornament at each corner, which in summer Mrs. Billow protected by
elaborate fly-papers of red, blue, and yellow. As this glass, although
not useful, was so ornamental, no objection was raised to it. On the
walls round the room were suspended a great variety of pictures, mostly
landscapes, in the pure tea-tray style. These as a general thing,
although by no means ornamental in themselves, yet served to enliven the
very dingy paper, and to them too, as a whole, no objection was taken;
but on the side opposite to the fireplace hung two half-length
portraits, which at once inevitably and unpleasantly attracted the
attention of any one entering the room--almost, indeed, to the exclusion
of everything else. These were the portraits of Mr. Billow, the
landlord, and his wife, taken when they were much younger, probably at
the time of their nuptials. These paintings were in the early
Pre-Raphaelite style. Their dresses were of an elaborate description;
the lady in green silk, with a gold brooch of immense size and massive
pattern; the gentleman in blue coat, black satin waistcoat, showing an
immense extent of white shirt, and a resplendent watch chain. Their
faces were charmingly pink and white, perfectly flat, and with an entire
absence of shade. They were alike characterized by a ghastly smile
impressed upon them, and a staring fixed look in the eyes very painful
to behold. This stare of their eyes looked into every corner of the
room, and could in no way be avoided. Robert declared that it was as bad
as a nightmare; and even Sophy, disposed as she was to be pleased, and
to like everything, confessed that she really should feel uncomfortable
with those staring eyes constantly watching her. Mrs. Billow urged that
they were considered remarkable pieces of art, and had been very much
admired; indeed that when they were first painted the artist had
frequently asked permission to bring strangers in to see them, as they
were quite an advertisement for him.
Sophy seeing that Robert was about to express an opinion respecting the
portraits which would irreparably injure the feelings of their landlady,
hastily said, "That, beyond question, they were remarkable paintings;
but that she had been ill, and that the eyes had such a very lifelike
expression, that she should never feel quiet and alone with them looking
at her."
Mrs. Billow thereupon acceded, and the cherished portraits were removed
upstairs to her own bedroom, leaving two large light patches upon the
dingy paper. They were, however, partially covered by two framed prints,
which were displaced upstairs to make room for the portraits.
After a few days, when they were settled, and found that they should be
comfortable, Robert wrote to Miss Harmer, requesting that Sophy's things
might be forwarded to her there.
In a few days a railway van arrived with quite a number of packages. All
Sophy's wearing apparel, her work-table, her desk and music-stand; all
the paintings she had executed under a master at school, and which had
been framed and hung in the drawing-room at Harmer Place; her books; her
grand piano, given to her by Mr. Harmer when she left school, and which
was much too large to go into their little room, and was therefore sent
to a warehouse for the present, to be reclaimed or sold, according as
their circumstances might demand; and lastly, a pony-carriage, with two
beautiful ponies, which Mr. Harmer had presented to her a few months
before his death.
This was at once sent to be sold, and the money it fetched was a welcome
addition to their little store, which the amount to be paid for the
conveyance of all these things had nearly exhausted.
The ponies and carriage fetched seventy guineas, and Robert was at once
anxious to move into larger lodgings; but Sophy persuaded him to wait as
they were for the present, at any rate, until they saw what success
attended her project for teaching. The only thing to which she would
agree was that a few shillings should be laid out in repapering their
sitting-room; and when this was done with a light, pretty paper, all the
tea-tray landscapes removed, and her own paintings hung up in their
place, the room looked so different that Sophy was quite delighted with
it, and even Robert allowed that, although very small, it was really a
pretty, snug little room.
In a short time, Sophy went round to the various tradesmen in the
neighbourhood with whom they dealt, and asked them to allow her modest
little cards to appear in their windows; and in a month she had obtained
two pupils, three times a week, for an hour in French or German, and
three every day for an hour in music--in all twenty-four shillings a
week.
It was tedious work, no doubt; but Sophy felt so much pleasure in
bringing home her earnings at the end of the week, that, as she said,
she really liked it. Besides this, it was a break to the monotony of her
life; for, after a while, Robert took to going out after breakfast and
not returning until five o'clock to dinner, being engaged, as he said,
in looking for something to do; and, indeed, he did believe that he was
trying very hard to get employment, although he had not the least idea
what kind of work he needed. He sauntered across the bridge, went into a
public-house to read the paper, and look through all the advertisements
in the vague hope of seeing something to suit him. Three or four
advertisements, indeed, he answered; but received no reply. Still he
comforted himself with the assurance that it did not matter for
that--the will was sure to be found; and that it was therefore really as
well that he should not undertake a situation which he should, when he
became a rich man, be sorry that he had filled. For the same reason he
tried hard to persuade Sophy not to enter into the teaching business, as
it would be humiliating to look back upon afterwards; but Sophy replied
that she could see nothing to be ashamed of in the remembrance that she
had tried her best to get her living, at a time when she had thought it
necessary that she should do so. And in this particular she insisted on
having her own way.
After another month Sophy got four more pupils, but two of them were in
the evening, and this brought with it a more than countervailing
drawback; for Robert was now left at home by himself on the evenings
when she gave her lessons. Finding his own society dull, he would
saunter out to seek other companionship, and on one or two of these
occasions he came back with his face flushed, his tread unsteady, and
his voice thick and uncertain; and Sophy felt with a terrible fear that
his old habits were coming back upon him, and that, even for her sake,
he could not keep from drink. On the morning after the first time that
this happened, he was very penitent, called himself hard names, and
promised that it should not happen again; but after a time he ceased to
make excuses for himself, but was only sulky and sullen of a morning as
if he resented the reproaches which Sophy never made. Sophy's evil time
was coming, and she felt it; the bright smile with which she had lit up
their little home, came only with an effort now; the roses which had
began to bloom in her pale cheeks, faded out again, but she bore it
unflinchingly. Sophy was a quiet, undemonstrative girl, but she had a
brave heart; she felt that she deserved any punishment she might
receive, and she tried hard to bear it uncomplainingly. When Robert
found this, and that no cold looks or reproaches greeted him, he did try
hard to please the patient loving woman who had suffered so much for his
sake, and withdrew himself, for awhile, from the new friends he was
making. Sophy on her part gave up her evening pupils, and stopped at
home with him; and so for a time things went on smoothly again.
Sophy had now become accustomed to the place, and had learned from Mrs.
Billow--who was a good-hearted, talkative old woman, in a very large
cap, and who waited upon them herself--all about their various
neighbours. King Edward Street was a quiet, semi-respectable little
street, and although it was a thoroughfare leading into the Westminster
Bridge Road, very few people except its own inhabitants ever passed
through it. It was, it seemed, quite a little professional colony. Next
door, in the parlours, played first violin at a theatre on that side of
the water, and the one beyond that was second cornet at the Adelphi. The
two sisters in the house opposite danced in the ballet at the opera, and
worked as milliners in their spare time; next door was a comic singer at
Cremorne; and beyond him again lived a leading star and his wife--who
was a singing chambermaid, both at the Victoria. They were a kindly,
cheerful lot, sociable among themselves, and ready to do any kindness or
service to each other. There were a few black sheep among them, but the
very blackest of all, Robert and Sophy now suspected Mr. Billow himself,
to be.
Mr. Billow was a bad-tempered, cross-grained old man, dirty, and almost
always unshaven, very unlike the pink and white gentleman which his
portrait represented him to have been; indeed it is almost certain that
his habits must have changed greatly for the worse since that was taken;
for it was otherwise inconceivable how he could ever have got himself up
in that dazzling degree of cleanliness, both of face and shirt front.
Mr. Billow's ordinary custom was to get drunk three or four times a day,
and then to doze by the fireside into a state of comparative sobriety.
All this was bad, but it was not the worst.
Mr. Billow was supposed to be a retired watchmaker, living upon his
savings, but he was in reality engaged in a far more profitable trade
than that had ever been. At various times of the day ill-looking fellows
would lounge in at the little front gate, and instead of going up the
stairs to the front door, would knock at the window, and be admitted by
a little door under the steps into the kitchen. Mr. Billow would then
postpone his sleep for a few minutes, tell Mrs. Billow to "hook it;" and
when alone, would enter into a low but animated conversation with his
visitors, who had generally small parcels of goods to display to him;
the ownership of these, after much altercation, generally changed
hands--that is to say the nominal ownership, the real owner being some
third person, whose rights and interests were entirely unrepresented and
overlooked. Sometimes men would come in the same way late of an evening,
with a bundle too large to be carried openly through the streets in the
broad daylight; and on all these occasions Mrs. Billow was dismissed
while the conversation was going on. Once, too, at three or four in the
morning, Robert Gregory hearing a noise below, went down, stairs and
found Mr. Billow engaged over a fire in the kitchen, apparently cooking.
Finding that all was safe, Robert had gone up to bed again, and in the
morning, Mrs. Billow mentioned casually that Mr. Billow had started very
early, and that Robert had found him cooking his breakfast. But Robert
knew that if Mr. Billow had required breakfast at any hour, his wife
would have had to get up to prepare it; he had moreover detected that
the smell of the ingredients in the pot on the fire, much more resembled
the fumes of melting metal, than the savory steam of Mr. Billow's
breakfast. He was therefore confirmed in what he had previously strongly
suspected, namely, that his landlord was neither more nor less than a
receiver of stolen goods. Sophy objected to this, "Why then should he
let lodgings?" But Robert told her, with a laugh, that this was merely a
blind to deceive the police as to the character of the house. Sophy when
she made this discovery, wished at once to leave their lodgings, but
Robert said that it could make no difference to them what the old rogue
was; that the lodgings were clean and comfortable, and that it would be
a pity to change without some better reason. And so, this time against
Sophy's judgment, they determined to stay for the present as they were.