A BACHELOR'S LETTERS.
Letter writing is an art, and there is no pleasure equal to that of
receiving and reading a chatty and well-worded epistle from some dear
friend. I have some packets of letters preserved to-day that I read and
reread. They are always fresh and interesting to me. They are a complete
index to the character of the writer, and they serve, after long years
have passed, to bring up again delightful pictures of days and scenes
which were brighter. However, there is one rule a man must observe:
never keep a compromising letter--if you should receive one--especially
from a woman. Sometimes women are foolish and careless, and they allow
their pens to run away with them. They bitterly regret their folly, and
the very idea that there exists somewhere a packet of letters which
would bring serious trouble, if not ruin, upon them and those they love,
is a cause of constant grief and worry. I know that there are letters
written by one once dear, but now perhaps turned fickle or false, or
separated from us forever, from which we feel loath to part; but we must
be men and reduce to ashes what would hurt in the very least degree or
cast a reflection upon an innocent if silly woman. Suppose you were to
die suddenly, and among your papers these letters were found, with you
alone, dumb in death, perhaps, only able to vindicate the unfortunate
writer. We must think of those things. They belong to the _personnel_
not only of a true gentleman, but they appeal to our common sense.
Character is frequently judged by handwriting. Write a good, clear,
legible hand, without any flourishes, and always use the best and the
blackest of ink. The typewriter is employed only for business
correspondence.
For social correspondence use only Irish-linen white note paper,
unruled, with square envelopes to match. Fancy or tinted note paper of
any kind is vulgar. If you have a permanent residence your address can
be legibly engraved in one color, usually blue or scarlet, at the head
of the first sheet. If you are a member of a club, the club note paper
is proper for all social correspondence. If you want to, use your crest
in lieu of address, but this practice is somewhat strained in this
country. Always add the date in writing. In letters, the day, the month,
and the year should be written. In notes you only put the day--for
instance, "Saturday the twenty-second." The best signature is "Sincerely
yours," and not "Yours sincerely." In England the quaint "Faithfully
yours" is used for business correspondence. Tradespeople and servants
only sign "Respectfully yours."
In America we "esquire" all men who are our equals. A butcher, a baker,
a tailor or other person, when we order supplies, we address as "Mr."
The abbreviation "Esq." is the usual form. In England you would write to
a duke and address the letter "The Duke of Buckingham"; to a knight,
"Sir Thomas Appleby"; to an earl or a marquis, "Lord Dufferin"--that is,
supposing the letter would be a social one.
In writing to a friend or in answer to an invitation or a note, you
would begin, "My dear Mrs. Brown," "My dear Mr. Brown," or even "My dear
Brown," but never "Dear Miss Brown," "Dear Mrs. Brown," or "Dear Brown,"
unless you were on terms of great intimacy with them. But if the letter
is a strictly business one, and the term "Sir" or "Sirs" is used, then
you would be obliged to drop the possessive pronoun. A very formal or a
business letter would begin thus:
_John Smith, Esq.,_
_# 22 Pacific Avenue, Brooklyn, N. Y._
_Dear Sir_:
and not "My dear Sir."
A business letter to a woman demands, however, the possessive "My,"
thus: "My dear Madam."
To a firm, one writes:
_Messrs. John Smith & Co.,_
_Dear Sirs_:
and never "Gentlemen"--a most ridiculous form of address.
The clergy are addressed "Reverend and dear Sir." A bishop is "Right
Reverend and dear Sir," and an archbishop "Most Reverend and dear Sir."
In this republican country all other dignitaries can be addressed as
"Dear Sir."
Formal invitations are written in the third person, also letters
addressed to tradespeople.
The address on a letter should be written about the middle of the
envelope, the street and number a little to the right, and the name of
the city and State in the corner. All notes or letters to people in the
same city should be directed simply with the post-office name without
the State, unless it is a very small town, or it bears a name such as
Augusta or Columbus, of which there are more than one in the United
States. Thus:
_Mrs. John Brown,_
_# 227 Euclid Avenue,_
_Cleveland._
The stamp should be placed neatly in the right-hand corner. The mail
to-day is almost the quickest means of delivery, and a special ten-cent
stamp will insure, in a large city, a more prompt reception of your
epistle than if you intrusted it to the tender mercies of a messenger
boy.
Your paper should fold once in the middle. There is nothing so awkward
or so apt to give a bad impression as a letter improperly folded. It is
bulky and unsightly. Private letters should always be sealed with wax,
in color dark green or red. Black is used for mourning. In sealing a
letter be careful to make a neat effect, and not to smear the wax all
over the envelope. The seal is then stamped with your monogram, or, if
you insist upon it, with your crest, but never with your coat of arms.
For the purpose of sealing letters men use their seal rings or a little
stamp which can be obtained at any silversmith's. When writing from the
club you can use the club stamp. Business letters are moistened and
gummed, a little damp sponge being used for this purpose. To moisten
envelopes with the tongue is nasty.
Letters written on hotel or business paper should be confined to the
commercial world. Your friends and acquaintances should not receive
them. Sometimes, when writing from a very interesting place to a very
intimate friend or to relatives, hotel paper may be used, as you would
like your correspondent to see a picture of the house at which you are
stopping.
Every gentleman should, however, carry in his portmanteau a flat
portfolio with writing materials and a traveling inkstand.
Your personal correspondence should be a reflection of yourself. Be
pithy, bright, and witty. Give the news and innocent gossip, but beware
of making statements in letters which you can not substantiate. Above
all, think twice before you pen a harsh or an unkind word, even if a
reproof be merited.
In business letters be brief and to the point.
There are two kinds of letters which sometimes puzzle the
writer--letters of condolence and letters of congratulation. A letter of
condolence--as will be explained in the chapter on Funerals--is due from
you at the death of a near or dear friend to the relative or
relatives--if you feel that you know them all well enough to address
more than one epistle of sympathy--nearest and dearest to the deceased.
Usually one letter is sufficient, but sometimes it may occur that you
feel that you should also write to others. Make it as natural as
possible. Avoid all stilted phrases and studied efforts at consolation.
A few words is all that is necessary. If you have been on intimate terms
with the family wire them your sympathy, and write a week or so
afterward.
Letters of congratulation are much easier to compose. On the occasion of
the announcement of an engagement of a friend, or in answer to his
letter announcing the happy event, or on the arrival of any good fortune
to those of whom you are fond or for whom you have a high regard, a
letter of congratulation is necessary or acceptable. All letters
announcing sad or joyous news should receive an immediate reply.