JULIA. Oh, what times were those, when I used to look for a note from
Mowbray, in the key hole of the green gate, when I used to read it to
six especial confidants, who were all dying with envy; 'till one
quarrelled with me about a slice of my last cake, betrayed me to the
French teacher, who told the head teacher, who told the governess--and
then what an explosion! dragged off hither, without letting me even
send my address to De Mowbray. It is a fine thing to be a victim of
cruelty at seventeen. And now as you are so fond of giving advice, let
me ask you why you are so very severe to that unfortunate little man,
your husband?
MRS. F. What you call severity, arises from my strict sense of
propriety, of which I am sorry to say, Mr. Facile has not so strict a
sense.
JULIA. No! why for all I can see, the poor dear little man does
nothing but sit with his mathematical books before him all day,
looking just like our geography master. Then he is such a very easy
man.
MRS. F. The very thing I dread; he not only lets me have my own way,
but every one else too. He is the confidant of all the young ladies in
the village; the very servants ask his advice on every single point,
and he gives it--is never affronted.
JULIA. Dear, good-natured soul!
MRS. F. There's that Fanny Pepper has innumerable points to consult
him upon--a forward slut, who apes me in everything. If I wear
ringlets, she wears ringlets--makes her caps like mine. Now how do I
know what she may ask him--and if he can refuse nothing--think of
that!
_Enter EUCLID, reading, R. H._
EUCLID. "X plus Y equal to--" Ah, my dear, what are you doing?
MRS. F. Can you address me in that calm manner, after what I said this
morning about Fanny the housemaid?
EUCLID. True, my love, you did say something; but I don't remember
what it was.
MRS. F. Only been married three weeks--come down to spend the
honeymoon with your relation, Mr. Holdfast--and already the confidant
of all the maid servants, and don't remember what I said!
EUCLID. No, dear, I only remember the agreeable things you say.
MRS. F. How provokingly good-tempered! I am cruelly used by your
indifference.
EUCLID. Are you? upon my word I did not mean it. I am not indifferent,
am always thinking of you--given, a, b.
_Enter FANNY, L. H._