fish begin to bite. Woxy is the legatee, when the lawsuit is over and
his inheritance is paid.
After your long tramp in the rain, after your bath and hot dinner, you
sit by the open fire in a wox.
There is no joy but calm, say the Buddhists; it’s better to be woxy than
excited with rapture. (See _Jujasm_.)
The author is in a wox; his story has been accepted. Woxy is the actor
in a good hotel at last, after three weeks of one-night stands; when he
pushes the bell, something delightful is sure to happen. There can be no
wox, alas, without a previous annoyance. (See _Fud_.) But is not all the
maddening bustle and trouble of moving worth--when you are finally
settled and at ease, with every carpet down and every picture hung--the
homelike, comfortable wox that follows?
_I ploughed my way through wind and storm
To call on Fanny White;
And in her parlor I was warm
And woxy with delight._
_’Twas not because I loved her though--
For I was fairly foxy;
I’d sold her Life Insurance, so
That’s why I felt so woxy!_
=Wum´gush=, _n._ 1. An insincere affectation of cordiality;
hypocritical compliments. 2. Women’s flattery of women; pretended
friendship. 3. A feminine fib.
Do women criticise each other to their faces? Do they find fault with
their chocolates, their looks, their clothes, their jests? No, not until
the front door is closed; till then, they slobber wumgush. (See _Varm_.)
And yet, if one man offers another a cigarette, the tobacco may be
called “rotten!” without peril or anger.
Men have small use for wumgush; their compliments are profane ridicule
and simulated enmity.
A man calls his best friend a “damned fool”; a woman calls her worst
enemy, “My dear!” (See _Alibosh_.)
How women must fear each other! They smooth their rival’s hair;
lovingly, they readjust her jabot and pat her hands lingeringly.
“How well you’re looking, my dear!” ... and yards and yards of wumgush.
“Oh, I’ve had such a wonderful time! How charming of you to have asked
me. Now, you _must_ come to see us.”--Wumgush. (See _Gubble_.)
Wumgush is the frothy foam of society chatter.
Wumgush is the sunshine through which fly the wasps of sarcasm. (See
_Flooijab_.)
_The wumgush Clara spills on Lou,
Whene’er they meet, and kiss,
Would seem to prove a friendship true,
But it amounts to this,--_
_“Your waist is soiled; and, oh, that hat!
Trimmed it yourself, I know!
You never ought to grin like that,
It makes your crow’s feet show!”_
=Xen´o-gore=, _n._ 1. An interloper; one who is _de trop_, or keeps
you from things or persons of greater interest. 2. A self-invited
guest, who stays too long.
The xenogore is a person who doesn’t belong, but doesn’t know it. It is
the shopper who paws over goods, and prevents customers from buying; an
extra woman, who drops in when you want to play whist; or the creature
who appears at dinner-time, when you have just enough for the family and
no more; who invites himself into your motor-car, crowding you
miserably. He annoys you when you are talking business, and spoils the
sale.
Children in the room, when you are calling, are xenogores. (See
_Kidloid_.)
Someone talking to you, when you want to listen to that interesting
conversation opposite, is a xenogore.
A xenogore is likely to be anyone of your wife’s relations or friends;
but it’s sure to be that girl you have to escort home, and don’t want
to. (See _Uglet_.)
A girl who accompanies a couple in love is a xenogore. (See _Vorge_.)
_I longed to see her Paris gowns,
And hear about my aunts,
And all those queer cathedral towns--
She’d just returned from France._
_I’d scarcely welcomed her--before
I’d told her she was thinner,
There came a ring--a xenogore!
Of course he stayed to dinner._
=Yab=, _n._ 1. A monomaniac or fanatic, interested in one thing. 2. A
favorite topic of discussion, or conversation.
=Yab´by=, _a._ Talking continually on a single topic.
=Yabs=, _a._ Foolishly interested or absorbed.
People used to be yabs on religion, but you seldom see a gospel yab, now
that Dowie has passed from sight. Still, there’s a pretty pronounced
Christian Science yab on in idealistic circles. Business yabs, yes; but
your wife won’t stand for it at the supper-table, unless your guest is a
good, heavy buyer. (See _Eegot_.)
The musician lives in a yab-world of his own. He doesn’t understand
ordinary English.
Some men are yabs over women, some have a horrible baseball yab that
will last over way into February; but the worst of all is a yabby actor,
telling you how good he is. (See _Leolump_.)
Polonius, had he lived, would have said to Hamlet, “Still yabs about my
daughter!”
The White Slave yab is almost over and the Sex yab is mute in the
magazines; the Bigyab is Tango with a capital Q.
The egoist is yabs about himself; the Englishman is yabby over sport,
the Hebrew over money. Me, my yab is “Burgess Unabridged.” (See
_Gloogo_.)
_Once a little girl in Phœnix
Arizona wrote to me;
She was yabs about eugenics,
And was healthy as a flea._
_Put although my Jane was poorly,
And was half the time in bed,
I was yabs about her, surely,
So I married her, instead._
=Yam´noy=, _n._ 1. A bulky, unmanageable object; an unwieldy or
slippery parcel. 2. Something you don’t know how to carry.
=Yam´noy=, _v._ 1. To inflict with much luggage. 2. To carry many
parcels at once.
Did you ever see a woman trying to move a Morris chair--or carry a
rocker through a screen door? (See _Wijjicle_.) She is struggling with a
yamnoy. She can carry a baby with ease and skill, but it’s a yamnoy to a
bachelor.
The yamnoy is a sheet of window glass carried on a windy day; a dripping
umbrella that you don’t know where to place; a bird-cage or a bowl of
fish, that you don’t dare trust in the moving van. (See _Uglet_.)
To yamnoy is to move a ladder, or place it upright, or to carry a lawn
mower home from the city.
_A patient husband ’twas, who bore
A yamnoy, huge and bulky;
It weighed a dozen pounds or more--
No wonder he was sulky._
_And as he ran to catch the car,
More and still more disgusted,
His yamnoy fell--and, with the jar,
Two watermelons busted!_
=Yod=, _n._ 1. A ban, or restriction; a rule forbidding pleasant
things. 2. A place where one must conform to the proprieties.
=Yod=, _v._ To behave circumspectly, or with conventional deportment.
=Yod´der-y=, _a._ Stiff, proper, formal; respectable.
Yes, you have to mind your p’s and q’s in a Christian Endeavor yod, or
in the house of your best girl. Why, in some places, there is even a yod
on the tango! (See _Ovotch_.)
Don’t you love to get into a place where there’s a yod on smoking? A
temperance yod is not so bad--except that you can never get good food
where they sell soft drinks.
Remember that restaurant they started a couple of years ago where
evening dress was required? That business-suit yod killed it.
Poor little slangy Lulu, with the henna hair! When she was introduced to
Millionaire Willie’s mother, she had so many yods on her that she didn’t
dare squeak!
Remember that low-necked yod your aunt used to have? Why, nowadays, she
wears double-décolleté in a trolley-car. No, those sanctimonious old
yoddery days of yore are well gone by. Your wife smokes cigarettes
now--your daughter’s skirts are slit up to the knee. However, there’s
still a yod on woman suffrage, and we may hold ’em down. (See _Varm_.)
_There was a yod on swearing at
The home of Mr. Badd,
So this was how he had to spat,
When he was good and mad:--_
_“Cognominate that blastoderm!
You jacitating void,
You go to Heligoland and squirm,
You lepidopteroid!”_
=Yowf=, _n._ 1. One whose importance exceeds his merit. A rich, or
influential fool. 2. Stupidness, combined with authority.
You find the yowf sitting at the Captain’s table on shipboard; and at
the speakers’ dais at banquets. He is top-heavy with importance, and
soggy with self-esteem.
Among the yowfs present were: The Mayor of the Small Town; a state
senator; the Dock Commissioner; a bank president, two consuls, the
Commandant of the Navy Yard, a police judge, and the Treasurer of the
Wild Cat Club. (See _Edicle_.)
The yowf is long on dignity, and short on charm; but he has to be waited
on first. The female yowf has a 46 bust measure, and is important mainly
on account of her clothes.
It is always a yowf who gives the reception to visiting celebrities. He
travels all over the world, and somehow, is able to mingle constantly
with people with real brains. (See Machizzle.)
_The yowf was traveling on a pass--
And he was grand and fat.
A Fourth Vice Presidential ass,
Or something big like that._
_I could not bear him; so, one noon,
I pricked him with a pin.
He shrivelled, a collapsed balloon--
Naught but an empty skin!_
=Zeech=, _n._ 1. A person of too strong individuality. One whose
personality dominates. 2. A monologuist or violent talker.
=Zeech´ous=, _a._ Lively, but tiresome; exhaustingly original.
The zeech is usually a good talker and a bad conversationalist; he
colors the party, you have to take his tone. He may bring in the
sunshine but he destroys those subtler half-lights which give
atmosphere.
Curiously, the zeech is a great mixer and yet he will not mix; things
must go his way. He is dynamic but has nothing in reserve. (See
_Spuzz_.)
There are no surprises in the zeech--you know what he is going to do and
say. You will laugh, but in the end be bored. He makes the party “go,”
but prevents its being an occasion.
The zeech is conspicuous, brilliant--but exhausting.
You invite the zeech to dinner, and the first time you are enthusiastic
about him. By the third, however, your wife ventures to say, “Oh, let’s
not have him _this_ time!” (See _Cowcat_.)
_The zeech told stories without end,
The life of all the party.
He made no joke that could offend,
He made us laugh so hearty!_
_But when at last the door was shut,
She said, and hid a yawn,
“Oh, he was_ so _amusing, but
I’m very glad he’s gone!”_
=Zob´zib=, _n._ An amiable fool, a blunderer. One who is kind, but
brainless.
=Zob´zib=, _v._ To act with misguided zeal.
The zobzib “means well”--but deliver us from our friends! He comes too
early and he stays too late. He is always in the way. He calls just
before dinner, but he will not sit down and dine with you. He is always
“just going.” He is fond of picking out a tune on the piano with one
finger.
When a zobzib enters, you just know he is going to break or tip over
something, or spill claret on the table cloth. He will surely slip on
the rug. He is a bull in a china shop, he is as hilarious as a wet
Newfoundland dog. (See _Splooch_.)
The female zobzib gives you advice, “for your own good.” She asks you to
buy tickets for church fairs and charity concerts.
A zobzib cannot help missing the train, he cannot help forgetting the
theatre tickets. That’s why he’s a zobzib. (See _Rawp_.)
I’ve often thought I’d like to be a drunkard, so some nice, sweet zobzib
would marry me, to reform me.
_A zobzib, with a rag and broom
And dust-pan, came today;
She came to tidy up my room,
While I was far away._
_She left, and everything I need
Was zobzibbed out of sight--
I can find nothing, but, indeed,
That Zobzib_ “meant _all right!_”