Fons fraudum et maleficiorum.
’Tis the fountain of cozenage and villainy.
_Anatomy of Melancholy_.
There resided, many years ago, in a small town in one of the West
India islands, an individual known by the name of Waring, whose
singular habits attracted much attention, and procured for him no
small degree of notoriety. He was apparently between sixty and seventy
years of age, tall and thin, but well formed; and the few locks of
hair that time had spared, were as white as snow, and strangely
contrasted with the bushy jet-black brows beneath which the large eyes
yet shone with the lustre of youth, and told of passions which had
once been stormy, if they were even now at rest. The upper part of his
face indicated intellect and daring, but there was a degree of
feebleness about the lips; and the smile, which sometimes curled them,
spoke of any thing but joy. He lived in almost total seclusion,
avoiding all intercourse which was not absolutely necessary, and
entirely confining himself to his own humble residence. In the front
part of his house he kept a small retail shop, and there he was to be
found from early dawn to dark; and for many years he had pursued this
avocation, without ever attempting to increase his business, or
holding communion with the people about him, save in the way of trade.
Those of whom he purchased his goods were in the habit of calling on
him to offer their wares, for he was a good customer, higgling, it is
true, about the price, and standing out for the last farthing, but
always paying in ready money, and ever exhibiting the most scrupulous
honesty. In his small way his trade was extensive, for curiosity
induced many from the neighboring country to call upon him; and in the
{750} town, the lower classes and the negroes preferred dealing with
one who they were sure would not take advantage of their ignorance to
defraud them—a degree of integrity remarkably rare among the petty
shopkeepers of ——. Of his early history nothing was known. He had come
to the island in a small schooner, from some port in North America,
and, soon after his arrival, took on lease the house in which he
established himself, and which he afterwards purchased. In the rear of
his dwelling was a tolerably large lot, which he had enclosed with a
high paling, so as effectually to prevent his neighbors from watching
his movements, and here he had resided for years, entirely alone. The
delicious fruits and vegetables of that sunny clime and fruitful soil,
which constituted his only food, were brought to his door for sale;
and his habits of untiring industry enabled him easily to dispense
with the attendance of a domestic. As he was not known to make any
deposit or investment of the money he received, a notion generally
obtained, that he was in the habit of burying it somewhere in the lot
of ground which he had fenced in so carefully. Following up this idea,
a plot had been laid by some desperadoes, to discover, if possible,
the place of concealment, and possess themselves of the treasure.
Three of them, one night, scaled the fence, and concealing themselves
behind some empty hogsheads, awaited the coming forth of their
intended victim, who, they conjectured, would visit his hidden
treasure. Their motions, however, did not escape the vigilance of Mr.
Waring. He came forth, it is true, and they rushed upon him, but two
of them received the contents of a blunderbuss, by which they were
instantly killed, and before the third recovered from his surprise, he
was cut down by the blow of a sabre.
The noise of course occasioned an alarm, and a crowd collected to
inquire into the cause. All information was refused, however, until
the civil authorities should be present. They were sent for, and, upon
their arrival, Mr. Waring unbarred his door, and led the way into the
yard.
“I have been saving the courts and the hangman trouble,” said the
gray-haired old man, as he pointed, with a grim smile, to the bodies
that lay drenched in gore; “take the carrion away.”
From that time this singular being remained unmolested, by either the
intrusions of curiosity, or the assaults of villainy. The house that I
occupied was within a few doors of his, and the business in which I
was engaged led to some transactions between us. It so happened, that
in examining my books, I detected an overcharge which had been made
against him by the inadvertence of one of my clerks. I of course
hastened to inform him of the error, and to correct it. It was with
some little difficulty that I persuaded him of the fact, but when it
was made clear to him, he fixed his large eyes upon me with a peculiar
expression, and taking my hand, pressed it with warmth.
“I do not thank you,” said he, “merely for the trouble you have taken,
or for the information you have given, which has enabled me to save,
though a small sum of money, yet an important one to me. These,
however, merit, and they have my gratitude; but I thank you, more
particularly, for exhibiting a trait of honesty that my experience had
scarcely led me to expect among the merchants of this place. You are
from Virginia, I believe?”
I replied in the affirmative, and inquired if I might not greet him as
a countryman.
“I never speak of the place of my birth,” was the gloomy answer.
I have had too many, and too important affairs of my own, to care to
busy myself much about those of other people; but, I must confess, I
entertained a strong desire to learn something of this old man, and of
the events which probably superinduced his eccentricities. My
curiosity was destined to be gratified, though not immediately.
Years rolled on, my affairs had prospered, and I was preparing to
return to my home, there to enjoy the fruits of my toil: the soil
where he was born, is the _only home_ to a true Virginian. One
morning, to my great surprise, I received, by a negro boy, a note from
Mr. Waring, saying that he desired an interview with me, which must be
strictly private, and requesting me, if it suited my convenience, to
call upon him at dusk. No trifling cause would have prevented my
obedience to this summons. Accordingly, at the time appointed, I
repaired to Mr. Waring’s shop. He was busy, waiting on some customers,
and I was about to retire; but he detained me, saying, “I will attend
to you in a moment, Mr. S——.” As soon as they had left him, he pointed
to the back room—“Step in there, quickly, quickly!” he exclaimed, “and
wait quietly my coming.” I instantly obeyed. About a quarter of an
hour elapsed before he joined me, and in the meantime I took a survey
of the apartment. I have seldom seen a more wretched abode. An old
leathern couch, a ricketty table, two chairs, (one I strongly
suspected for the _nonce_,) and an old wooden clothes chest, comprised
the main portion of the furniture. The walls were bare, save where the
spiders had hung their tapestry; bundles of rags and nondescript
remnants of various useless things, were stuffed into every corner,
and the whole wore the appearance of squalid poverty or pinching
avarice. “Strange infatuation!” thought I, “that men should devote
their prime of years, their powers of mind, to the acquisition of that
which is to raise them above poverty, and yet when they have obtained
the means to make life comfortable, voluntarily condemn themselves to
the very privations which they had originally fled from as a curse!
The measures we adopt to escape the evil, bind us by the chains of
habit, to the condition itself which we deprecated.”
As I made this reflection, he who suggested it entered. After a brief
interval, during which he gazed upon me as if to search my very soul,
he said, “Mr. S. you are curious to know who and what I am. Nay, never
blush, man, it is natural enough. You cannot think it otherwise than
strange, that one who is connected by no ties of consanguinity with
his fellow men, who has no apparent motive for hoarding his gains, for
whom ambition has no charms, and who is looked upon by no earthly
being with the eye of affection, should condemn himself to the want of
every comfort, for the acquisition of that, which in a brief space of
time, must be snatched from him by the cold hand of death. You, no
doubt, think it strange too, that one, whose language gives evidence
of education, and I may say of capacity, which would place him at
least on an equality with his {751} fellow men, should confine himself
to the petty and despised occupation, in which for years I have been
engaged. You probably deem me a miser; in one sense of the word I am
one, for God’s sun shines not on a greater wretch; but there breathes
no human being, for whom wealth has fewer charms or smaller power. The
coarsest raiment, the simplest food, and a bare shelter from the
storm, are the limits of my bodily wants, and as for my mind riches
cannot purchase it peace. Still, my aim has been to gather them; for
what purpose you shall be informed. I have requested this interview,
because I had reason to think you an honest man, and none but such
would answer my purpose. I desire your agency and assistance in the
performance of an act of justice, the execution of which has been the
main object of my life. For your mere trouble you will be amply
compensated; for the satisfaction you will afford me it is out of my
power to offer an equivalent. Having thus stated my wishes, I shall
proceed, irksome and degrading to me as is the task, to recount to you
the narrative of my early life. I claim from you simply the promise
that you will not, during my life time, reveal what I am now about to
utter to you.” I gave my promise. “Listen then,” said the old man.
“I, as well as yourself, was born in Virginia; my real name is W——. My
father was descended from the English aristocracy, and was not a
little proud of the circumstance. During the Revolutionary War,
although his feelings were certainly on the side of the British
government, he maintained a neutrality sufficiently strict to enable
him to preserve his estate, which was a very large one. At an early
age I was sent to England, where I received my education, and remained
until I was twenty-three. Soon after my return to America my father
died, (my mother had expired many years before) and I was left in the
uncontrolled possession of one of the largest fortunes in Virginia.
Young, well-born, good-looking and rich, every noble quality was of
course attributed to me, and every where my society was courted. I
lived in an atmosphere of sunny smiles, amid the rich the gay and the
beautiful. Among the latter there was one pre-eminent. It was no dream
of love that robed her with surpassing beauty—it was no perversion of
fancy that invested her with the perfection of womanhood. If ever
there were a heart untainted by a single impurity, it beat within the
bosom of Emily C——, and that heart, with its boundless love, its
thousand charities, its noble confidence, its unbending honor—that
heart, I, _I_, _the miserable_, worthless, degraded object that you
see, won by my seeming virtue, and broke by my glaring villainy!”
He paused, and wiped the drops of agony from his brow; at length he
resumed.
“I did not mean to anticipate my tale, but I was forced onward by the
tide of memory. Such a creature as I have described could not but be
surrounded by admiration, and among the many who aspired to her hand,
was one, whose perseverance was untiring, notwithstanding the frequent
rejections which he had encountered. His name was Roberts. He was a
young man of good family and fair education, with prepossessing
appearance and manners, and was a general favorite with his
acquaintance. His father, it was understood, had ruined himself on the
turf, but the son, although launched on the busy scenes of life
extremely poor, had contrived to accumulate a comfortable sum of
money; how, none exactly knew; some said by speculations in lands,
others by the purchase of bonds, while some hinted that he was
indebted to his science in horse-racing and his skill in cards, for
the greatest portion of his success. For my own part I made no
inquiries about the matter. I met him in good society, his deportment
was gentlemanlike, and moreover, he was a delightful companion. He
sung a good song, told a good story, and had no small share of
original wit. I do not know whether he loved Emily, or whether his
motives were mercenary (for she was wealthy) but as I before observed,
though repeatedly discarded, he nevertheless continued his attentions.
I, alas! was more favorably received, and in the course of time Emily
became my wife.
“Though memory ever reverts to that blissful period of my existence,
conjuring up the past amid the pauses of occupation by day, and
peopling the dark hours of the night, when remorse has banished sleep,
with the shadowy forms of the loved—the lost—there are times when I
lose the consciousness of its reality. I remember, but as a dream,
amid the storm-blackened waves on which I am tossed, the bright skies
that once cheered, and the blessed sun that beamed upon my course. My
fortune enabled me to indulge in an extensive hospitality, and the
pleasures of my abode offered every inducement to society. Among the
most frequent of my guests was Roberts, the former assiduous suitor of
my wife. He seemed to have entirely overcome his disappointment, and
indeed no one congratulated me upon my marriage with more seeming
cordiality than he. Emily did not like him, for she doubted the
soundness of his principles; but she tolerated him, because she saw
that he was entertaining to me, and probably thought my mind and
morals beyond the reach of his influence. Fatal error! and, common as
fatal! There is in the mind a principle somewhat resembling the
phenomenon of heat in matter, which is imparted from one substance to
another, as they come in contact, until uniform temperature is
established,—so, when the vicious and the virtuous are in the habit of
association, the bad qualities of the former are imbibed, not
producing a moral medium, it is true, but creating propensities
equally criminal. I grew in a short time, in consequence of this
intimacy with Roberts, very fond of the turf, and that which was at
first mere delight in the exhibition of the beauty and speed of the
noble animals in their fierce struggle for victory, changed into a
desire of being personally interested in the event. I betted freely,
and though constantly flattered by my associates, and more especially
by Roberts, upon the correctness of my judgment, I very rarely won. My
losses, however, were not larger than my ample income could well
afford. By and bye I became an owner of horses, and as I determined to
procure the best, and did so, I was obliged to pay large sums for
them. From ignorance, mismanagement, and probably knavery, but few
purses fell to my lot. On one occasion, there was what is termed a
sweepstake, in which I had entered a colt of great promise. From
previous trials I was very sure that there were but few who could
match him, and the event justified my confidence. Besides the stake,
which was very considerable, my private wagers amounted to {752} some
thousands. I invited the members of the club to dine with me at the
tavern kept by the proprietor of the course. Shortly after we sat
down, a storm which had been gathering all day, broke forth with great
violence, and continued without abatement until long after night-fall.
As it soon became apparent that the tavern must be our quarters for
the night, a general disposition was evinced to pass the time as
pleasantly as possible, and even to exceed the bounds of sober
merriment. The wine flowed freely; the song, the jest, and the merry
tale gave their zest to the entertainment, and when we rose from the
table we were most of us in a situation to be led into any amusement
that might be suggested, how far soever beyond the bounds of prudence.
Cards were introduced, and various parties formed at various games. I
knew that I possessed no skill, and flushed as I was with wine, I
still retained sufficient sense not to engage in a contest with those
whom I felt assured must, without extraordinary fortune on my side,
transfer my money to their pockets. As I sat looking on at some of the
players, I was accosted by Roberts.
“‘What!’ said he, ‘are you an idler as well as myself?’
“‘Yes,’ I replied, ‘but that is not extraordinary, for you know very
well that I am not able to cope with these gentlemen. But how happens
it that you, who are an experienced hand, should refuse to try the
chances?’
“‘Why,’ said Roberts, ‘I make it a rule never to play at any game that
depends on science, unless my head is perfectly cool. Now, I have
swallowed rather too much of the good wine, to be able to rely upon my
judgment. I should not object to try my luck at any thing that
depended on the toss of a die or the turn of a card, because if
fortune smiled upon me I should play the bolder for what I have drunk,
and win the more, and if I lost, why the affair would be the sooner
ended, and I should get to sleep the earlier.’
“‘Well,’ said I, ‘can you find no such game?’
“‘I don’t know,’ replied he, ‘some of the party are talking of faro;
if they open a bank I will bet against it. Would _you_ like to do so?’
“‘No,’ I replied, ‘I shall content myself with being a spectator.’
“‘Pooh!’ said Roberts, ‘you’ve plucked the knowing ones to-day, and
got your pockets full of cash; you can afford to part with some of it,
even if you lose; but what should prevent you from doubling what you
have?’
“‘But, Roberts,’ said I, ‘I do not even know how the game is played.’
“‘It is as simple as two and two make four—here,’ continued he, taking
up a pack of cards, ‘I will show you,’ and he went on to explain the
game.
“‘Is this all the mystery?’ inquired I, when he had got through; ‘I
have heard it said that the odds were in favor of the banker, but I
can’t see how.’
“‘Oh, so they are, generally,’ said Roberts, ‘but merely because it is
the disposition of most men, when they have a run of luck, to stake
with prudence, and when they are losing to exercise a corresponding
degree of rashness.’
“‘And what should make me an exception?’
“‘The fact that I warn you of the error, and more than that,’ said
Roberts, ‘you have the power, I have observed it frequently, of
exciting yourself to boldness when it is required, and of bringing
your passions under curb when it is necessary they should be still. He
who possesses this self-command, although he may meet with occasional
reverses, will ultimately prove successful. But I do not wish to
persuade you against your inclination, and as I see that they are
preparing to commence the game, I will leave you; or suppose you sit
by and see how the fickle dame is disposed to treat me.’
“‘I do not object to that,’ said I, carelessly, and I accompanied him
to another part of the room.
“‘Who are the bankers?’ said Roberts, as we approached the group who
were busy with the preparations.
“‘Who?’ cried one, ‘why, only think, Wallis here takes it all upon
himself, and he is bragging that he will soon empty all our pockets.’
“‘Indeed! I have seen a bolder bird than he cut down. But we’ll play
low, Wallis?’
“‘Oh, of course. Ten checks are my limit, and we’ll put them at ten
dollars each.’
“‘And you call that low?’ said I.
“‘Why, not so very low, to be sure,’ said Roberts, ‘but not quite so
high neither as two thousand upon a three year old, eh! friend?’
“I was silent; the game proceeded for an hour. I looked on, and there
was but little change in the situation of the parties.
“‘Now,’ said Roberts, as the banker commenced a deal, ‘I think I have
you.’
“He placed the limited sum of a hundred dollars in such a situation,
as to be effected by three cards. He won—doubled—won again—again—and
pressed on, until he was winner about four thousand dollars. This was
the work of a few minutes. I was astonished; the dealer looked aghast.
“‘A glass round to my luck,’ cried Roberts. We drank that, and
another, and another, as Roberts continued to win. My whole attention
was taken up with _his_ play; I did not observe that the other betters
were generally losing. Presently, what with the wine I had drunk, and
the excitement necessarily induced by the spectacle before me, I began
to feel desirous to adventure, myself. I _did_ adventure, at first,
with success, while, on the contrary, Roberts’s luck began to desert
him.
“‘Hang it!’ said he, ‘it seems as if every one who comes in contact
with you to-day, were destined to suffer. You hammer us on the course,
and you are now mauling Wallis, at cards; but confound it, man, I wish
you would let somebody win besides yourself.’
“It is unnecessary to protract this scene; suffice it to say, the fate
of all other tyros was mine of course, that after acquiring moderate
gains, I began to lose, that as I lost my money, I lost my prudence,
that although, to outward seeming, I was calm as a stoic, (for my
pride was strong enough to effect that falsity,) within me there raged
a boiling hell of passion, and as stake after stake was swept from me,
I verily do believe I could have stabbed the winner to the heart. When
the game ceased, I had been stripped of all my ready money, and was
largely in debt. It was near morning. I threw myself into a chair and
fell into what was rather stupor than sleep.
{753} “With the early dawn, I shook off my lethargy, and with a head
fevered, and a heart aching from the dissipation of the night, I set
out on my return home, which was but a few miles distant. Although my
absence, on the previous night, had been unpremeditated and
unavoidable, my conscience, as it whispered over the list of my late
transgressions, numbered this as one of them. I knew I should be
greeted with affectionate smiles, and felt how unworthy I was to
receive them, and that was a bitter pang. Is it not a marvel that men
should ever be tempted to the commission of a second moral offence,
when the punishment for the first is so severe? But the head-ache of
the drunkard and the repentance of the gambler are alike forgotten,
when temptation again assails them.
“As I rode along, a prey to remorse, I made many excellent
resolutions. I determined to sell off my racing stock, content myself
with viewing the sport, and never again to bet upon it. Cards I would
never touch; my time should be occupied in the cultivation of my
estates, and for relaxation, I would depend on literature and the
conversation of my domestic circle. Finally, I resolved to communicate
to my wife all that had occurred, and give her the promises I was
making to myself. By the time I reached home, I had contrived, by
these means, to restore, in a great measure, my self-complacency, and
I almost flattered myself that I had gained a moral victory before I
had even encountered the foe.
“Emily met me at the door, with a thousand welcomes. ‘How kind it is
in you,’ she said, ‘to come so early! I knew when the storm came on,
that I could not see you last night, and I hardly hoped you would have
been so early a riser.’ ‘But dearest,’ continued she, ‘you must have
passed an uncomfortable night, your eyes are heavy, and inflamed. Are
you not well?’
“‘Oh yes, very well,’ I replied, ‘but there was a great crowd at the
tavern, and I could not sleep; a good breakfast, however, will soon
restore me.’
“‘Were you successful yesterday, Charles?’
“‘Quite so,’ said I; ‘my colt surpassed my expectations; I shall not
take a trifle for him.’
“‘Why, do you mean to sell him?’
“‘Him, and all the others. I am determined to quit the turf, Emily.’
“‘Indeed!’ exclaimed she, ‘how I rejoice to hear you say so, my dear
Charles, and particularly as you are not induced to the resolution by
loss. I feared that if you were a winner, you would have been more
wedded to the sport. I have never interfered with this passion of
yours, Charles, but it has always been a source of regret to me, to
see you waste your intellect on pursuits, to say the least, so
frivolous, and which lead you into society that I cannot but think
unworthy of,—perhaps, disreputable to you.’
“I eagerly, rather angrily I fear, defended myself from the latter
charge, and asserted, that my associates were, in general, men of
station in society and respectability equal to my own, and that if
there were a few whose characters were less estimable, they were
merely the necessary instruments of our pleasures, and not held in the
light of companions.
“‘I care but little for station, if it be not worthily held,’ replied
Emily. ‘Whilst I would pay to those whom adventitious circumstances
place above the mass of mankind, the formal respect which society
demands, I should hold education and virtue to be the fit companions
of a husband whose cultivation of mind I admired, and whose natural
goodness of heart I dearly loved. Now, Charles, let me ask you, are
not your associates, generally, persons of dissipated habits; nay,
vicious ones? for I cannot look upon gambling as less than a vice. Do
you derive from them any moral benefit? are you sure that they
contribute even to your amusement? I do not, for a moment, believe
that you have learned to look upon play as an amusement.—Oh! God
forbid it should ever come to that! I had a friend once who was
married to a gambler, and Charles, I have seen the deep anguish that
pressed upon her heart, and graved its lines upon her pallid brow,
though her tongue never uttered a complaint. When the wretch who had
trampled upon her affections had basely reduced himself to absolute
want, he, as basely, deserted the family who relied on him for
support, by destroying himself, and they were left, in their utter
feebleness and misery, to the cold charity of the world. Poor Mary!
God had mercy on thee, and gathered thee to himself,’ sighed Emily, as
a tear stole down her cheek. ‘Ah, Charles, you see I have good reason
to hate gaming.’
“‘You cannot detest it more than I do, Emily,’ replied I; ‘never fear
that I shall be caught in its snares.’
“‘But Charles, men acquire habits by degrees, and learn to love that
which they once loathed; and what pleasure is to be derived from
associating with those whose time is spent in play, if you do not join
in their occupation. They cannot converse with you; that would take
off their attention from the game; and they cannot listen to you,
their interest is absorbed in their desire to distress those whom they
call their friends, by winning their money. But, my husband, I did not
mean to read you a lecture,’ continued she smiling. ‘Ah, well do I
know, for your wife’s sake, for our cherub child’s sake, you never
will abandon yourself to the infamy of a gambler’s life.’ And she
threw herself into my arms. I pressed that form of loveliness to my
bosom, and felt the beating of its confiding heart, and, coward that I
was, I betrayed its confidence by withholding the communication I had
decided to make. I felt humbled by her purity, and rebuked by her
love, and I dared not tell her what I had done.
“The day wore on, not without sad reflection on my part, but I felt
self-assured that I would never so err again, and as this confidence
became strong, I persuaded myself that it was unnecessary to distress
my wife by any disclosures. I had only to pay off the debt I had
incurred, and there was an end of the affair. That evening, much to my
surprise, and very contrary to my wishes, Roberts called upon me. I
had no desire to see one who had been an eye-witness of my last
night’s madness, and I felt a dread lest he might allude to it in
Emily’s presence. There was no occasion, however, for any such
apprehension. He talked of various things, and in a most amusing
manner, but never referred to the races, except to observe, in a
slight and careless way, that I had missed no sport by having been
absent that morning. It was not until my wife retired that he touched
upon the subject.
“‘Why, in the name of common sense,’ he asked, ‘did you leave us this
morning so abruptly, W—— or rather, why did you not return?’
“‘Simply,’ replied I, ‘because I was guided by {754} common sense. I
had lost enough, and too much, and in a way that my feelings
disapproved of, and there was no pleasure to be derived from lingering
about the scene of my folly.’
“‘I lost too,’ said Roberts, ‘but I never sit down contented with a
loss. He were but a poor merchant, who would fold his arms, and
abandon all enterprise, because, forsooth, he found one adventure
unsuccessful.’
“‘It is the business of the merchant,’ said I, ‘to take such chances;
it is not mine to gamble, and yet I should think that merchant
foolish, who should take a hazard where he clearly saw that the
chances were against him.’
“‘And how do you know,’ asked Roberts, ‘that the chances are against
you?’
“‘Because every one lost last night but the banker,’ I replied.
“‘And he had to refund this morning all that he had won,’ said
Roberts, ‘and put a good round sum to the opposite side of the
account.’
“‘Indeed!’ said I, ‘did you play?’
“‘To be sure I did,’ was the reply, ‘and have got all my money back
again, with a tolerably comfortable stake besides. I regretted much
that you were not there. Our error, last night, is obvious enough; the
wine made us imprudent, or we both could have risen from the table
winners.’
“‘Perhaps it is better that we, at least that _I_, did not. I might
have been tempted to continue a course that I feel confident would
lead to disastrous consequences.’
“‘Well,’ said Roberts, ‘I dare say you are right; and right or wrong,
it is certainly not my wish to urge you to play. I merely thought you
might be desirous to recover what you had parted with, and would
therefore venture a trifle more to effect such a result; but let that
be. You will be on the field to-morrow, of course?’
“‘No,’ replied I, firmly.
“‘No!’ exclaimed Roberts, with great surprise. ‘Why, what becomes of
your horse, Velox? There is nothing in the stables to match him, and a
heavy purse to be won.’
“‘I have determined to sell out my racing stock.’ Roberts stared at
me.
“‘Indeed,’ he exclaimed at length. ‘What next? I am prepared now for
any marvel. Possibly you are going to turn Methodist; when may we
expect you to hold forth?’ ‘Pardon me,’ he cried, as he saw that I was
beginning to be displeased with his freedom, ‘but I cannot but wonder
that a man of your strength of mind and liberality of disposition,
should permit himself to be so worked upon by a trifling loss of
money, for trifling it is, compared with your means. What will your
friends say, when they hear that the wealthy Mr. W—— is going to
withdraw himself from their society and the fashionable amusements of
the day, because, in a luckless hour, he touched a card, and lost some
money, which he well could spare?’
“‘Mr. Roberts,’ I hastily replied, ‘I have not said what my motives
were, nor have you a right to impute petty ones to me. It may be, sir,
that you conceive good or ill luck to be the only principle which can
govern a man in such a case: I trust I can be, and am influenced by a
higher feeling; a sense of right and wrong.’
“‘Nay, nay,’ said he, ‘be not angry with me. _I_ question not the
correctness of your course, I only suggest what will be the probable
remarks of others. It is known that you were unsuccessful at faro last
night; you immediately proceed to dispose of your running horses, and
that too with every prospect before you of a fortunate campaign. Rumor
will increase forty fold the amount you have sunk, and it will be at
once supposed you were compelled to sell. For, be assured, that
however pure and correct your conduct may be, mankind will never
believe in the existence of a motive which would exalt, if they can,
by any possibility, pitch upon one that would have a contrary
tendency. However, I am done. I trust you will not ascribe what I have
said to any thing but friendly feelings towards you.’
“Can you believe, Mr. S. that I was fool enough to be worked upon by
this flimsy argument? Yes, sir, I was that fool! I did not abandon my
resolution, it is true, but I postponed its execution, and it amounted
to the same thing in the end. I will not tire you by detailing the
various contrivances which were resorted to to induce me to play. I
could not if I would, recount the various schemes of villainy by which
I was stripped of my personal property, and compelled to mortgage my
real estate. Usury, as well as gaming was now hurrying me on to
destruction. I was fully aware of my situation. The dark clouds that
hung over me were plain to my eye, the roar of the breakers was
distinct to my ear, but in sullen desperation I held on my course,
until the bark, freighted with reputation, fortune, earthly happiness,
and future hopes, was dashed upon the flinty rocks, and the shattered
fragments strewed upon the waves. Long, long before this, Emily had
been conscious of the course I was pursuing; my frequent and prolonged
absences from home, my moodiness when there, my altered looks, my
nights unblessed by sleep, or filled with horror-burthened dreams,
that spoke in deep groans of despair, told the tale in accents not to
be misunderstood. Oh! what efforts did she make to reclaim me—with
what kindness did she try to soothe me—with what eloquence did she
plead and urge me to abandon the vice that was pregnant with
destruction to us all! And how often did I promise—how often did I
_swear_ to reform, until perjury on perjury robbed her of all respect
for, and confidence in me, though they could not totally extinguish
the flame of undying love that burned on the pure altar of her heart.
Her health gave way at last; the bloom of beauty faded from her cheek,
and her form of graceful roundness was attenuated to a shadow. My
little boy, too, as if he sympathised with his drooping mother, wasted
away, and looked the very type of misery. What a heart had I, to
inflict all this! I have sometimes thought that a demon must have
possessed me, and was permitted, for some wise purpose, to work his
will. I know it was a foolish thought, a miserable attempt to shuffle
off, from my wounded conscience, the awful responsibility of my own
uninfluenced crime. But is it not strange? I was tempted by no
gratification of passion, by no smiles of success; there were no
changes of fortune to retard my downward progress, and yet, unvarying
loss could not teach me to despair, and the burning consciousness of
the wretchedness I was heaping upon all who were most dear to me,
could not prevail upon me to refrain. But let me proceed.
“My ruin was at length complete; every thing was swept away. I had
neither food for my family, nor a roof to shelter them. Before this,
Emily had been {755} repeatedly urged by her relations to accept of an
asylum with them, but she had refused to abandon me. She was as
wretched as one could be who was free from all crime, and bowing, with
unmurmuring meekness, to the hand that chastised her. She had nothing
but her own unequalled goodness to sustain her. I had forgotten even
to be kind, and yet she would not abandon me. But the time had now
come when it was necessary that she should look to her friends for the
bare necessaries of life; and the state of her health too required
comforts and assistance not to be procured by poverty. For the
present, therefore, she consented to remove, with our boy, to her
father’s house. I did not accompany her, for I was fully aware that my
society would be tolerated there only for her sake; and sunk as I was
in my self-esteem, and justly degraded in the eyes of others, my pride
could not brook any manifestation of the feelings entertained towards
me. From the physician who attended her, I had daily reports of my
wife’s health, which became more and more precarious. How could it be
otherwise? Had I not destroyed her peace of mind?—had I not violated
the sanctuary of her love?—had I not poisoned the source of her being?
and with her wrung heart, must she not pine away, till merciful Heaven
reclaimed its unequalled creation? My child too——but what claim had I
to a husband’s or a father’s name?
“One evening, as I sat in a room at a tavern, my temporary place of
abode, gloomily reflecting on my situation—recurring, in agony of
soul, to the happiness that I had forever cast from me, and painfully
endeavoring to suggest to myself some plan by which I might retrieve,
in part, my fallen fortunes, there was a knock at the door, and
Roberts entered the room. He had been absent for some time, in one of
the northern states, and he now approached me with seeming joy, and as
if he anticipated from me an equally cordial welcome. His presence,
however, was any thing but pleasing to me. I was largely indebted to
him for money lost and loaned at cards; and when did debtor meet his
creditor with joy at his heart? Besides, I had begun to feel, that but
for my association with this man, I should never have plunged into the
vortex that had overwhelmed me. He was aware of my coldness, and broke
out with—‘Why, W., my dear fellow, what is the matter? Is this the way
you receive an old friend after a six months’ absence? But you seem to
be in the dumps; has any thing unusual occurred to fret you?’
“‘Why do you put such a question?’ replied I; ‘do you not know that I
am a ruined man—that every thing I could call my own has been torn
from me—that I am a wanderer, covered with shame, heaped with obloquy,
steeped in poverty? and do you expect, under such circumstances, to
find my heart bounding with joy, or my face mantled with smiles? To be
plain with you, Roberts, I was thinking of you just as you made your
appearance, and I will tell you what was passing in my mind. Memory
had gone back to the time of our first acquaintance, when I was in
possession of all most valued by man: wealth, that seemed scarcely to
have a limit—a reputation, unbreathed upon by reproach—the affections
of one whose equal I have never met, and the unspeakable blessing of a
pure conscience. All, save one, of these have fled—perhaps that too is
gone; and all this is your work. Yes, sir, yours! But for you, I
should never have been tempted to play; but for you, I should have
abandoned in time the vile pursuit. Yes, sir, it was _you_ who urged
me on, by stimulating me with false hopes that fortune would not
always frown—that one lucky cast would retrieve all, and a thousand
specious tales that won upon my credulous ear; and when, amid
reflections such as these, you presented yourself in person, you can
hardly suppose that you could have been very welcome.’
“‘W——,’ replied Roberts, ‘I have had a long ride to-day, and feel
heartily tired. It was my intention to go to bed as soon as I should
reach this house. But the landlord informed me you were here, and as a
friend I hastened to see you. Some would feel offended at the
reception I have met with, but I can make every allowance for the
feelings that irritate you, and I feel it my duty not to leave you
until I have somewhat calmed your present mood. Whenever _I_ get into
trouble, and feel a disposition to give way to misfortune, the first
thing I do is to sit quietly down, with a comfortable glass and a good
cigar, and philosophize upon the matter; and by your leave, you shall
follow my prescription. Come, come, I will take no denial; we will
talk over your affairs soberly and calmly, and the odds are ten to one
but we strike upon some plan which, if boldly and industriously
pursued, will set all things straight again. You will not drive me
from you, will you? O no, I see that you will not.’
“When the refreshments he had ordered had been produced, Roberts
resumed. ‘Where is your wife, W., and how is she?’ I informed him.
‘And you, I suppose, are a less welcome guest than she at her
father’s? Well, all that will come right too. By the bye, the old
gentleman should not be quite so rigid about this matter of play as he
is. Many a cool hundred has he won of my father; but I have observed,
that your reformed sinner always makes a persecuting saint. Let that
rest, and tell me, candidly, are you entirely destitute?’
“‘Utterly, utterly,’ replied I.
“‘Are your debts all paid?’
“‘You know they are not; I have not paid you.’
“‘Pshaw!’ said Roberts, ‘never mind me. Have you paid others?’
“‘They have paid themselves.’
“‘Good! Have you formed any plan by which you expect to support
yourself and family.’
“‘None,’ replied I. ‘But if I had, what means do I possess to put any
scheme into execution?’
“‘Let us hit upon the scheme, and we shall find the means,’ said
Roberts; ‘my purse, as well as yours, is at present at the lowest ebb.
A rascal that I entrusted with a snug sum, has decamped, and left me
in the lurch; and a fellow whose bond I held, has smashed, and won’t
pay a shilling in the pound. But I started in life with nothing, and
have been so often reduced to the same condition as at first, that, as
you perceive, I take the thing quite coolly. It is true, I am a single
man, and there is no one depending upon me—otherwise, I might feel the
matter more seriously; but I should not sit down, and mope, and scold
my friends, W——: I should be but the more prompt, the more
decided, and the more persevering in my actions. Let me see; you have
as yet proposed nothing to yourself. What say you to turning
merchant?’
{756} “‘I know nothing about business,’ I replied, ‘and besides, I
have neither capital nor credit.’
“‘The law, then? Your talents and education combine to fit you for
that profession.’
“‘And what am I to live on, while I pursue the necessary study?’
“‘That’s true; one thing then is clear—money you must have, and that
at once. That being the case, there is but one way to obtain it.’
“‘And that is—’
“‘By winning it,’ replied Roberts.
“I started from my chair, and walked up and down the room with
violence.
“‘Now I pray you be calm, and listen to me attentively,’ continued the
tempter. ‘You would not, I presume, object to getting back some of
your losses by the same means that you made them?’
“‘And if I should not, how am I to know that I can? Has it not been,
all along, my endeavor to do so, and has not each attempt invariably
plunged me in deeper? Besides, I cannot play without a stake.’
“‘Let me put this question to you, W——,’ said Roberts. ‘Suppose you
knew that a man had defrauded you of a certain sum of money; you had
no proof, however, which could establish his guilt, and enable you to
recover in a court of law. Would you, if he were by accident placed in
your power, hesitate to force from him what he had deprived you
of—nay, would you not deem yourself justified in using artifice to
place him in that situation.’
“I replied that I could not tell; possibly under such circumstances I
might do so.
“‘To be sure you would,’ rejoined Roberts, ‘and all the world would
applaud the deed.’
“‘But whither does your question lead?’ asked I.
“‘Patience, and you shall hear,’ replied he. ‘Do you remember playing
a game of brag in company with C. and F. and myself, on which occasion
you and your humble servant were left minus a few thousands?’
“‘Certainly,’ said I, ‘I remember it but too well.’
“‘Well,’ resumed Roberts, ‘we, poor innocent lambs, were cursing our
ill-luck—luck indeed! ha, ha! there was no _luck_ in the matter; we
were fairly pigeoned—damnably cheated, sir!’
“‘How do you know, Roberts? By Heaven, if I thought so, I would make
an example of them.’
“‘Oh! sir, you could not prove it!’
“‘How do _you_ know the fact, I repeat?’
“‘Because I have seen them playing together since, when I was not
interested in the game, and could watch them coolly and closely, and I
did so; and I am perfectly satisfied in my own mind that there was
collusion between them. Now, for the drift of my question; I say, it
would be perfectly justifiable in us to pay these knaves in their own
coin—to turn the tables upon them, and so get back the cash they
fobbed from us, and that, I take it, would be a pretty little capital
to begin the world with again.’
“‘There is certainly nothing to object to on the score of justice,’
said I, ‘but I question if such a scheme would be deemed honorable
among gentlemen.’
“‘I cannot answer for their abstract opinions,’ said Roberts, ‘nor do
I greatly care for them; but this I know, that among the whole circle
of my acquaintance, which is tolerably extensive, there is not one who
would hesitate about the matter.’
“‘But what means shall we employ? If they be the rascals you have
described, will they not be keen enough to detect us?’
“‘I defy them,’ said Roberts. ‘Leave every thing to me. To-morrow you
shall be instructed; it is necessary now that I should sleep. Do you
so, likewise, and be assured that your situation will soon be changed
for the better. In the meantime you will need money; there are fifty
dollars, half of all I have—take them; you will soon be able to repay
me. Good night! and hark ye, no more despondency, but look the world
boldly in the face, and smile with contempt upon fate, as I do.’
“Perhaps, Mr. S., you are surprised that I should so easily have
assented to this vile proposal. There had been a time, sir, when I
should have treated it as a personal insult; but I was not then a
broken-down gambler. My principles had not been sapped by continual
contact with the unworthy; the degrading and unhallowed desire of gain
had not fastened on my soul, and corroded my sense of honor. One must
have been crushed and miserable as I was, before he can be sure of his
power to resist the tempter.
“Our scheme was soon executed; we regained our losses from ——, and
something more besides, and I was once more out of the reach of
absolute want. I hired a small house, where, very much against the
inclination of her family, I placed Emily. One of her sisters
accompanied her, for her continually declining health rendered the
sympathies of a female friend absolutely necessary. I once more
resolved to abandon play. The suggestion thrown out by Roberts with
regard to the study of the law, although doubtless not seriously
intended by him, had been frequently present to my mind. I now
determined to pursue that avocation, and felt every confidence in my
capacity to succeed. I compared myself with those around me who bore a
reputation in the profession, and felt proudly conscious that in
talent I was their equal. I told my wife of this. Her only answer was
a deep sigh, that seemed to shake her slender frame, and these words:
‘I hope it may be so, Charles; for your sake, I hope it may be so.’ I
felt nettled at the doubt implied, but I replied not. I had deceived
her too often to dare to remonstrate. My studies were commenced, but I
had little calculated on the difficulties of my task. It had been a
long time since I had taken a book into my hand, and I found it almost
impossible to chain down my attention to the subject before me. My
eyes would be fixed on the page, but my mind would wander far, far
away from it. Sentence after sentence was perused and reperused, but
no distinct meaning was conveyed to my understanding. I would sit for
hours in one fixed attitude, lost in total abstraction, and when
recalled to myself by some accidental circumstance, the visions which
had been floating in my mind were as scattered and unintelligible as
the wildest fancies of a foolish dream. It was impossible to study.
“One morning, after repeated and unavailing attempts to overcome this
state of mind, I threw down my book in despair, and went forth into
the open air, to try if exercise would not bring relief. It was a
lovely day in spring, the trees had just shot out their tender leaves,
the birds were pealing forth their joyous notes, a thousand insects
were dancing in the balmy air. It was a {757} day on which a heart at
ease might feel most happy; but to me the blessed sun no longer shone
with brightness, and my bosom was cold to those charms of nature which
had once made it thrill with gladness. I wandered on, knowing and
caring little where I bent my steps, when, at a sudden turn of the
road, I encountered Roberts.
“‘Well met!’ said he. ‘I was on my way to see you. I have good news
for you.’
“‘Indeed,’ replied I, sadly, ‘let me have them, then, for there is no
one to whom they could be more welcome.’
“‘Another chance, W——, to get back some of your cash, and if I mistake
not, a pretty good lump of it too. I am to give a dinner to-day, a bet
I lost—lost _purposely_, my boy, and you must come; we will try
conclusions with the gentlemen again, and with rather better chances
of success than we formerly had. Turn back and get your horse, and as
we ride along I’ll tell you all about it.’
“‘I must decline your invitation,’ replied I.
“‘That you shall not!’ said Roberts.
“‘It is useless for me to go, Roberts, for I will not play. I am
convinced that I cannot win by fair means, and I will not resort to
any other.’
“‘You can do as you please about that, but I must have you with me; it
will be of service to you; it will cheer you up, and show your friends
that you are not the man to give way to misfortune. Believe me, the
world respects every one who shows it a bold front. Indeed you must
not refuse me; I shall feel hurt if you do.’
“I went. Is it necessary to say that night was spent in play, and with
the aid of my _honest_ partner, I did not lose. The ice was now fairly
broke. I could no longer refuse to join Roberts in his schemes of
plunder. I was in his power, and felt that he could blast me by a
single word. But some suspicions began to be entertained; my success
was too uniform for one who had formerly lost so constantly, and it
was therefore concerted between Roberts and myself, that I should
occasionally seem to lose to him, making a subsequent settlement with
him in private.
“There was a young man, son of the Sheriff of the County of ——, who
acted as deputy to his father, a very worthy and respectable man, who
had served with great credit in the continental army, and brought up
and maintained, by his industry, a numerous family. He himself paid no
attention to the affairs of his office, but confided them entirely to
the activity and integrity of his son, who had won general respect and
popularity by the zeal and fidelity with which he discharged his
duties, and the gentleness and mercy he exhibited, when called on to
put in force the harsh decrees of the law. I had but little
acquaintance with either the young man or his father, nor, in all
probability, would the latter have been much pleased to have his son
in habits of intercourse with me. I had attended a session of the
court on some business, and was detained too late to admit of my
reaching home that day. Several others were in the same
situation—among them, Roberts. After supper he took me aside, and
asked me if I recollected Wallis.
“‘No,’ I replied, ‘I remember no such person.’
“‘You have a bad memory, then,’ said he; ‘I never forget those who win
my money,’ and he recalled to my mind the individual who had held the
faro bank at the races.
“‘What of him?’ I inquired. ‘Does he think to take me in again?’
“‘O, no,’ replied Roberts, with a laugh, ‘we have learned rather too
much for that. But I have been talking with him; he will open a bank
to-night, and he agrees that you and I shall be equally interested. It
shall be my business to get him betters; and as there are several here
whose pocket-books are well filled, I think we shall make a handsome
adventure of it. For the sake of appearances, you know, we too must
bet against him, and he will permit us to win largely, for the purpose
of enticing others. Is it not capitally contrived?’
“‘But may not this Wallis betray us hereafter?’
“‘Not the slightest danger of it; he is as close as wax. I know him of
old; and besides, he is under obligations to me that he cannot violate
if he would.’
“‘Roberts,’ said I, ‘do you feel no remorse? Does not conscience
upbraid you with the meanness, the guilt of your course? Have you no
misgivings, when you behold the agony of those you defraud?’
“‘Have _you_ such feelings?’ said Roberts.
“‘I have!’ replied I. ‘They torture me by night and by day. The hell
that burned within me when, like a madman, I scattered my wealth to
the winds, was ease, was happiness, to what I now endure, and if
the hour of detection should ever come,—but that——I could not and I
would not survive!’ I clasped my hands together, and shook with fear
at the very thought.
“Roberts gazed at me some little time in silence, and his countenance
assumed a bitter sneer. At length he broke forth.
“‘Conscience! Remorse! ha! ha! Because I have lived too long to be a
dupe? Most men, in the greenness of youth, are fools, and ripen, with
age and experience, into knaves. There are some, however, who are
early wise, and they, if circumstances permit, become great and
distinguished; and some, who are always silly, and these are reckoned
virtuous, and become the footballs of the others. For my part _I_ was
not made to be kicked. I have found out that I must be the wolf or the
lamb; I prefer to be the beast of power. There is not one of those men
that you see there, who would not, if they could, strip us to the last
farthing. I play their own game, and place them where they would place
me. And for this, forsooth, I must feel remorse! I find the whole
system of society based upon a cheat; every one endeavors to overreach
his neighbor, and the most successful is the most respected. Shall I
not strive among the rest? You have been defrauded of a princely
fortune and reduced to absolute want. I have let you into the secret
of your misfortunes, and taught you how to retaliate your wrongs on
others, and you prate to me of conscience and remorse. Well then, if
conscience be to you this dreadful torment, in the name of common
sense obey its dictates. Be wholly one thing or another. Go to those
with whom you have played of late, and hand them back their money.
Tell them they were cheated; that you see through the evil of your
ways, and come to make restitution; once more throw yourself back on
poverty, and see how highly the world will applaud the act! They say
there is exceeding joy over a repentant {758} sinner in heaven. Do you
try how much there is on earth. But I am losing time. Am I to
understand that you decline sharing with Wallis and myself?’
“‘No,’ I replied, ‘it is my fate; I have gone too far to recede, and I
must endure, as I can, the loss of self-respect.’
“We parted, mixing in with the general crowd. It was not long before
Roberts had collected various persons around him, who seemed to be
listening with great attention to something he was narrating, which,
to judge from their frequent peals of laughter, was highly humorous.
No one knew better than he how to afford entertainment to others. His
manner was admirable; his very laugh was a provocative to mirth.
Without being boisterous, it was the most joyous, careless,
lighthearted burst of gaiety that I ever listened to. Of those who
were most attracted by him, was the young man I have before mentioned,
the son of the old sheriff. He seemed to be in an ecstasy of delight,
and Roberts fooled him ‘to the top of his bent.’ They drank together,
they sang together, and committed various extravagances; Roberts
declaring that he was just in the humor for a frolic, and a frolic he
would have. Presently cards were introduced, I know not at whose
suggestion, and I was told by some one that a faro bank was about to
be opened, and I received the information as if it were new to me. We
soon afterwards adjourned to another room, and the game was commenced.
At first I did not bet, or rather appeared not to do so, but stood
looking on at the others, and marking the vicissitudes of the game. To
my surprise and regret I saw the sheriff’s son at the table, for I had
always heard him spoken of as a moral and prudent youth, and,
moreover, I had not supposed he possessed the means to play. I
observed, however, that although evidently flushed with what he had
been drinking, he staked with caution, and would not, in all
probability, win or lose any thing of consequence, and I thought
nothing more of the matter. About midnight, after going through the
mockery of apparently winning some hundreds, I threw myself upon a
couch and slept. It was daybreak when I awoke, but the lights were
still burning, and the gamesters, undiminished in number, as eager as
ever in their play. Roberts was among them, and I, being desirous of
returning home, took him aside to acquaint him with my intention. He
objected to my doing so, stating that he was excessively fatigued, and
must sleep a few hours himself; that he had forborne to awake me, and
I must now take my turn to watch, for it was better that one of us
should observe how things were going on; that so far, owing to the
most singular run of luck on the part of one individual that he had
ever witnessed, the bank was loser. I inquired how his young companion
had fared. He had lost rather heavily. ‘But surely,’ said I, ‘he
cannot afford to do so.’ He replied very carelessly, ‘that’s his own
affair. I did not urge him to play. The truth is, he received
yesterday a considerable sum of money in payment of an execution, and
very possibly he may be using the funds. I suppose he knows that he
can make it all good. But go you now and sit down, and wake me in a
couple of hours, that will be sufficient repose for me.’
“I was fain to comply with his request. Before the two hours had
elapsed, however, a messenger arrived with the intelligence that my
wife had been taken alarmingly ill. Rousing Roberts, I immediately
departed and pushed forward with all possible speed; but the distance
was considerable and the road execrable, and several hours were
consumed before I reached home. All was quiet. Leaping from my horse I
rushed towards the house; a feeling of faintness came over me, and I
was obliged to pause and lean against the door-post for support.
Rousing my energies I proceeded to my wife’s chamber, and knocked
gently for admittance. A faint voice desired me to enter. I did so,
and was met by Emily’s sister, who was weeping bitterly. Not a word
was spoken—she pointed to the bed and left me. I softly approached and
with a trembling hand I drew aside the curtain.
“Did she sleep? The eyes were closed, the face serene and almost
smiling. I took her hand—it was cold and clammy to the touch. I gently
pressed her bosom. Was it a throb that I felt? No—that heart had
ceased to beat, had ceased to feel. Life with all its bitterness had
fled. The enfranchised spirit had soared to its native home. I gazed
in silence. I did not weep, I did not groan. There was a benumbing,
icy thrall that bound up every faculty; it was pain, it was agony, but
it left no power to express that pain.
“I heard a feeble sob: Whence did it proceed? I had thought I was
alone. I moved in the direction of the sound. Stretched upon the
floor, his face buried in his little hands, lay my boy. I kneeled
beside him; I raised and strained him to my breast. ‘Oh, let me go,’
said he, ‘mother is gone; I want to go to mother. She said she would
ask her God to keep a place for me, and God is good, I know, and he
will do it. Father, lay me down there with mother.’”
Mr. W—— here bent his head and wept like a child. It is fearful to see
an old man weep. Presently he resumed.
“I left the chamber of death, and retired to the room I had used as a
study. What was passing in my mind I am utterly unconscious of. The
past, the present and the future, were mingled in one common chaos. I
was lost in a reverie that seemed protracted beyond the years of man.
Of the mass of confused and unintelligible ideas that were swarming in
my brain, one at length stood out clear and distinct, and gathered
strength as I brooded over it. It was self-destruction. It rose upon
me, a cheering light, shedding gladness over my dark and desperate
fortunes. The intolerable weight which had pressed upon my mind was at
once uplifted, the pent-up agony which had racked my heart passed off,
and visions of peace, of a deep, enduring calm, floated before me,
unmixed with a doubt or dread of the untried future. There was a
loaded pistol lying on the table; in an instant it was in my grasp,
but heaven in its mercy saved me from that crime—a sudden icy pang
transfixed me; utterly enfeebled I sank to the floor, my senses fled,
and I was as one who is numbered with the dead, or who had never
breathed among the living.
“When reason was again restored to me, I found myself stretched upon a
bed. I recognized the apartment in which I lay; it had been my wife’s.
I tried to move, but had not the strength to do so. I heard a step in
the room and essayed to speak; my voice was scarce a whisper; the
light in the chamber was dim, but my {759} eyes could not endure it. I
again closed them and sank into sleep.
“When I awoke, a physician and a nurse were standing at the bed side.
I would have spoken, but they bade me be quiet; and I was even as a
child, and submitted. For many weeks had disease preyed upon me, and
existence been suspended by a single thread which would not break.
Slowly I recovered, my strength was restored to me, but never, from
that day to the present moment, has this withered heart known peace.
“I have but little more to say. From my medical attendant I learned
that the young man who had been fleeced at the tavern, stung by
remorse, and unable to make good the money he had lost, had swallowed
a deadly draught. His aged father, stripped of his little all to pay
the debt, broken-hearted by the villainy in which I had participated,
was thrown with his helpless family upon the reluctant bounty of
society. Wallis and Roberts had fled, it was supposed, to the South.
My son had been taken home by his grandfather. I have never seen him
since I pressed him to my bosom in his mother’s death chamber. He was
and is dear to me as the hope of heaven to the martyr’s heart, but his
eye shall never look upon the degraded being who gave him life.
“While listening to the recital of the physician, amid pangs that
gnawed my soul, I formed the resolution of quitting my country, never
again to return, and in some foreign land, in an humble occupation,
with rigid economy and ceaseless industry, to build up another
fortune; not for the luxuries it might purchase, or the comforts it
might afford me in age, but that I might, as far as _money_ could
avail, repair the mischief which I had assisted in perpetrating, and
the injustice I had been guilty of towards my child.
“I watched the sun as he threw his slant rays on the fields and the
forests, familiar to me as the face of a friend, and when he sank
beneath the horizon, commenced the preparations for my departure. I
had some money; retaining as much as was absolutely necessary for my
expenses, and no more, I enclosed the remainder to my physician, with
a request that he would, after remunerating himself, pay the rest to
the poor old sheriff. I also despatched a note to my father-in-law,
stating my intention to leave the country, and imploring him, for the
mother’s sake, to bestow every care and attention on her child, and to
call him by her maiden name. This done, in the dead of the night I set
out on my journey, and took the direction of the sea port of ——.
Thence, under an assumed name, I embarked for this island, and here I
have since remained, steadily pursuing the course I had laid down for
myself. My labors have been crowned with success beyond my hopes, and
I am now the possessor of much greater wealth than I inherited. When I
was in England, a mere youth, an opportunity occurred of rendering an
important service to an acquaintance, at that time very needy, but who
has since become a partner in one of the most extensive banking houses
in London. Instead of burying my money in the ground, as the wiseacres
here have surmised, I have regularly remitted my gains to him, and by
his judicious management of them in the British funds, they have
reached their present amount. Through him too, I have received
intelligence of my son, on whose education no expense has been spared.
He has applied himself to the profession of the law, and is considered
as fast rising to eminence. I could long ago have rendered him
independent of labor, but I deemed it best that he should earn his
bread by the sweat of his brow. That portion of man’s doom is _not_ a
curse.
“And now, Mr. S., it simply remains for me to acquaint you with the
service which I wish you to render me. You will ascertain as soon as
may be after your arrival in Virginia, what descendants there are of
—— the former sheriff of ——, their situation in life and
character; not that I mean to withhold from them what is justly their
due, be they ever so vile; for may they not, if vicious, trace their
very crimes to my unprincipled conduct? but that by being correctly
informed of their pursuits and habits, I may be enabled to judge in
what manner and to what extent, I can best act to their advantage. You
will also seek the acquaintance of my son, and if you can become his
friend. Write to me, and tell me candidly what he is; but until I
sleep in death do not speak to him of me. You will not be condemned to
a long silence, for I feel that my days are numbered. All necessary
documents will be placed in your hands before your departure hence.
You are my executor. Farewell.”