NO. IX.--TO CROOKEDNESS.

I dispense with all formal opening, and I begin at once. I want to

tell you a story. Don't ask me why; for, even if I answered the truth,

the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, you would hardly believe

me. Let me merely say that I want to tell you a story, and tell it

without much further preface.

[Illustration]

Two days ago I chanced, for no special reason, to open the drawers

of an old writing-table, which for years past had stood, unused, in

a corner of an upper room. In one I found a rusty screw, in another

a couple of dusty envelopes, in a third a piece of sealing-wax,

half-a-dozen nibs, and a broken pencil. The fourth, and last drawer,

was very stiff. For a long time it defied my efforts, and it was only

by a great exertion of strength that I was at last able to wrench it

open. To my surprise I saw two packets of letters, tied together with

faded ribbon. I took them up, and then remembered, with a start, what

they were. They were all in their envelopes, and all were addressed,

in the same hand-writing, to Sir CHARLES CALLENDER, Bart., Curzon

Street, Mayfair. They were his wife's letters, and, after the

death of Sir CHARLES, whose sole executor I was, they came into my

possession,--Sir CHARLES, for some inscrutable reason, never having

destroyed them, although, after his wife's death, the reading of

them cannot have given him much pleasure. No doubt I ought to have

destroyed them. I had never read them; but there, in that forgotten

drawer, they had lain, the silent dust accumulating upon them as the

years rolled on. They reminded me of the story I am about to relate--a

story of which, I think, no one except myself has guessed the truth,

and which, in most of its details, I only knew from a paper, carefully

closed, heavily sealed, and addressed to me, which I found amongst my

friend's documents. It was in his hand-writing throughout, but I shall

tell it in my own words, and in my own way.

Nobody who was about in London Society some thirty years ago, could

fail to know or know about the beautiful Lady CALLENDER. She was of a

good county family. She was clever and accomplished. She had married

a man rich, generous, amiable, and cultivated, who adored her.

Unfortunately they had no children, but, in every other respect, Lady

CALLENDER seemed to be very justly an object of envy and admiration

to most of the men and women of her circle. Personally I had no great

liking for her. I don't take any credit for that--far from it. The

reason may have been that her Ladyship (although I was one of her

husband's best friends, had been his school chum, and had "kept"

with him in the same set of rooms at Cambridge, where his triumphs,

physical and intellectual, are still remembered) never much cared for

me. She could dissemble her real feelings better than any woman I

ever knew, she always greeted me with a smile, she even made a parade

of taking my advice on little family difficulties, but there was an

indefinable something in her manner which convinced me that beneath

all her smiles she bore me no good-will. The fact is that, without any

design on my part, I had detected her in one or two bits of trickery,

and, in what I suppose I must call her heart of hearts, she never

forgave me. The truth is, though her guileless husband only knew it

too late, she was perhaps the trickiest and the most heartless woman

in England. If there were two roads to the attainment of any object,

the one straight, broad, smooth and short, the other round-about,

obscure, narrow and encompassed with pitfalls and beset by

difficulties, she would deliberately choose the latter for no other

reason that I could ever see except that by treading it she might be

able to deceive her friends as to her true direction. She carried

to a fine art the small intrigues, the petty jealousies, the mean

manoeuvres in the science of outwitting; the shifts, the stratagems,

the evasions by which power in Society is often supposed to be

confirmed, reputations are frequently ruined, and lives are almost

invariably made wretched. But Sir CHARLES knew none of these

things. He was apparently only too proud to be dragged at his wife's

chariot-wheels in her triumphant progress. For the strange part of

the business is that there was absolutely no need for any of her

deeply-laid schemes. Success, popularity and esteem would have come

to her readily without them. She was, as I said, beautiful. Innocence

seemed to be throned on her fresh and glowing face. Her smile

fascinated, her voice was a poem, and she was musical in the best

sense of the word at a time when good music, although it might lack

popular support, could always command a small band of enthusiastic

votaries in London.

There was at this time living in London an Italian artist, man

of letters and musical _virtuoso_, who was the spoiled darling of

Society. All the women raved about him, the men liked him, for he had

fought bravely on the field of battle, was a sportsman and had about

him that frank and abundant _gaieté de coeur_, which powerfully

attracts the less exuberant Englishman. For his part CASANUOVA (that

was his name) bore all his successes with good-nature and without

swagger. Of course there were whispers about him. Where so many women

worshipped, it was certain that two or three would lose their heads.

Amongst this limited number was little Mrs. MILLETT, one of Lady

CALLENDER's most intimate friends. She made no secret of her _grande

passion_. She poured her tale into the ears of Lady CALLENDER, and

asked for sympathy and help. Lady CALLENDER promised both, and at the

self-same moment, made up her mind that she would withdraw from Mrs.

MILLETT such affection as CASANUOVA had honoured her with, and bring

him, not because she cared for him, but merely for the sport of the

thing, to her own feet. She succeeded admirably. Under the pretence

of bringing CASANUOVA and Mrs. MILLETT together (such things, you

know, have been done in good Society) she invited him constantly to

her house; she gave musical parties in his honour, she used all her

fascinations, and finally, having fooled Ariadne to the top of her

bent, she captured Theseus, and bore him off.

Mrs. MILLETT was a foolish and frivolous little woman. Rage and

despair made her a demon. She resolved on revenge, and proceeded to it

with a cool and astonishing persistency. Now I do not myself believe

that Lady CALLENDER cared two straws about CASANUOVA. What she aimed

at and enjoyed was the discomfiture of a friend. In order to obtain

it, however, she committed a fatal imprudence. She wrote some letters

which would have convinced even a French jury of her guilt. By a

master-stroke of cunning wickedness, Mrs. MILLETT gained possession of

them, and sent them to Sir CHARLES. It happened that about this time

Sir CHARLES was in a very low state of health, and his friends were

anxious about him. One afternoon, when Sir CHARLES was confined to

his bed, Lady CALLENDER was playing the piano to her Italian slave. A

message was brought to her that her husband desired to see her for a

few minutes, and she tripped gaily away, saying to CASANUOVA, "Wait

here; I shall return directly." In a quarter of an hour, however, her

maid came to tell him that her Ladyship was suffering, and begged

him to excuse her, and he departed. When the maid returned to Lady

CALLENDER, she found her lying dead on the floor of her room, with a

small phial, which had contained prussic acid, clasped tightly in her

hand.

This is what had happened: Sir CHARLES had received the letters; they

left no doubt in his mind that the wife he adored was betraying him,

and he, too, resolved on revenge. He sent for his wife. When she came

in, he at once confronted her with her letters, and taxed her with her

guilt. A terrible scene of tears, entreaties, and bitter reproaches

ensued, but Sir CHARLES was as adamant, and his wife retired to her

bedroom in a state of nervous prostration, which immediately brought

on a toothache. At this point she sent for her maid, and gave her the

message to CASANUOVA.

The Coroner was sympathetic, and did what he could, but the evidence

in favour of the suicide theory seemed overwhelming, and the jury

returned a verdict to this effect, with a rider strongly commenting on

the danger of selling such deadly poisons. But it was never explained

how Lady CALLENDER obtained the prussic acid, nor why she had selected

that particular moment for its use. I ought to add, that CASANUOVA

left England before the inquest, and has never returned. On the

mystery of the final catastrophe the manuscript throws no light. It

ends abruptly. But the whole tone of it leads me to believe, that in

some unexplained manner Sir CHARLES himself had been instrumental in

causing his wife's death. But you, no doubt, know, and could tell us

if you wished.

So there, my friend, you have the story. Sorry I couldn't make it more

cheerful. Do you remember the part you played in it?

Yours, &c., DIOGENES ROBINSON.

* * * * *

[Illustration: EXTRACT FROM THE CATALOGUE OF A RECENT SALE.

"A PAIR OF OLD-FASHIONED SNUFFERS. VERY RARE."]

* * * * *

Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 102, Jan. 2, 1892 · 第 12 / 24 题