Thither they went, and none could well go faster;
For Andrew knew full well the Mason's _Arms_
Were always _open_ to receive their master.
They'd _seen_ enough of _sea_; and their immersion
In the _salt-sea_ wave had pickled them so well,
They never made another _sea_ excursion;
And therefore _you see_! I've but little more to tell.
From that day forth, when Andrew and his wife
Disputed, which was often it would seem,
His spouse replied, "Remember, pray, my life,
That 'tis not always best _to go by Steam_!"
My tale is done,--about a week ago
When passing through the City, I heard tell
That "Andrew and his Spouse" were dead, and so
_Bow bell_ was tolling for this _Beau_ and _Belle_.
MORAL.
Hereafter then, when'er we need advice
About a journey to the East or West;
We must obey our spouses in a trice,
And _always do_ what _they_ imagine best.
"BEHIND TIME."
[Illustration: "PROCRASTINATION IS THE THIEF OF TIME."]
"_Coach, Sir! Lord love your soul, the coach has been gone these three
quarters of an hour; it's the most regglarest coach as is, and always
starts to a minute!_"
"_You dont say so! Lawks! vot a precious row my vife vill kick up!
She's a coming arter me as fast as she can trot!_"
GEORGE CRUIKSHANK'S "_Illustrations of Time_."
"HARD TIMES."
[Illustration: MACADAMITES.]
"_I say, SHUFFLETON, these d--d Overseers pay no respect to Persons!_"
"_No, DOCTOR, nor to PARSONS either!_"
GEORGE CRUIKSHANK'S "_Illustrations of Time_."
"TERM TIME."
[Illustration: "THE LAWYER AND HIS CLIENTS!"]
"_Gentlemen, it was a very fine Oyster, indeed! The Court awards you a
shell each!_"
GEORGE CRUIKSHANK'S "_Illustrations of Time_."
"TIME COME!"
[Illustration: "TIME CALLED."]
"_Time! Bring him up, TOM! JACK can't stand another round!_"
"_With a hook! I'm blow'd if he ha'nt 'cut his stick!_'"
"_A guinea to a shilling on JACK! Time's up! It's all over! JACK'S won
the day! I'm blest if we shan't all be lagged!_"
GEORGE CRUIKSHANK'S "_Illustrations of Time_."
"TAKING TIME BY THE FORE-LOCK."
[Illustration: "LONDON CONVEYANCERS."]
"_I say, BILL, I've got his ticker: pull his precious nob off!_"
"_I'm sniggered if I don't!_"
GEORGE CRUIKSHANK'S "_Illustrations of Time_."
"PUDDING TIME."
[Illustration: "A LITTLE TOO LATE."]
"_Ha, Snooks, we had given you up altogether!_"
"_I thought you said four o'clock, my dear fellow?_"
"_So I did, but it is now five._"
"_Yes, but four always means five._"
"_Not with those who tell the truth, and as I am one of that sort, you
will know I mean what I say in future; but sit down 'better late than
never.'--Mary bring the fragments._"
GEORGE CRUIKSHANK'S "_Illustrations of Time_."
"WASTE OF TIME."
[Illustration: "LABOUR IN VAIN."]
"_Scrub away, Jenny! I'll warrant we get the dirty toad white?_"
"_O, Missee! your water so dam hot, you scald poor Sambo!_"
"_Drat your black carcase! we'll make something of you at last, if we
skin you! Go it, Molly! rub his life time out!_"
GEORGE CRUIKSHANK'S "_Illustrations of Time_."
"CHRISTMAS TIMES."
[Illustration: "BOXING DAY!"]
"_You arn't the rigglar Dustman, blow ye! For a farden I'd break your
blessed conk!_"
"_I'm as good a Dustman as you any day in the veek, my tulip!_"
GEORGE CRUIKSHANK'S "_Illustrations of Time_."
THE QUEAN WOT CLAIMS THE BREECHES.
[Illustration: _G. C._]
The young and old, the short and tall,
In poverty or riches;
One common aim prevails with all--
'Tis who shall wear the breeches!
This lovely, winning creature scan,
To wives a bright example!
Mark on the boasted "Rights of Man,"
How she presumes to trample,
Poor Henpeck! what shall shield you now,
In fortune's fickle weather,
If you surrender to your frow
The covering of your nether?
Reduced by this ignoble deed,
To petticoats' stern sway;
To play the tyrant is her creed,
And yours is to obey.
Farewell, poor fellow--by the bye,
To keep her system placid,
Suppose you tip her, on the sly,
A little prussic acid.
A very moderate dose will do,
To make her calm and quiet:
And, if you wish to tame that shrew,
Make haste, my boy, and try it.
GEORGE CRUIKSHANK'S "_Mornings at Bow Street_."
SUMMARY DIVORCE.
[Illustration: _G. C._]
Now ponder well, ye tender wives,
As you would shun disasters,
And as you wish for peaceful lives,
Thwart not your lords and masters.
If late from home they chance to stop,
Avoid all vain conjectures;
And, if they've had a little drop,
Refrain from curtain lectures.
A scolding tongue will ne'er reclaim
A man from idle courses;
But often leads to grief and shame,
And Summary Divorces.
These evils flow from angry words--
Then try not such expedients;
Besides, you know, you owe your lords
Love, honour, and obedience!
Ah! tell us, Dame, for what offence
Your Spouse, in all his glory,
Is using such strong arguments,
And "a posteriori."
What have you said or done, alas!
Or what have you neglected?
That thus by speedy habeas,
You're forcibly ejected.
GEORGE CRUIKSHANK'S "_Mornings at Bow Street_."
"BARRING A BAD CUSTOMER;
OR,
A SCORE BEHIND!"
[Illustration]
BONIFACE: "_Mizzle, you warmint, you an't paid your old score; No more
chalk here!--so take that!_"
CHERRY RIPE: "_My eye, what a toucher!_"
GEORGE CRUIKSHANK'S "_Mornings at Bow Street_."
"TAKING THE LAW IN HER OWN HANDS;
OR,
SERVING AN EJECTMENT ON A TROUBLESOME TENANT."
[Illustration]
"_Come along, you old willain; I'll teach you to be going arter the
wenches; I'll shew you who wears the breeches you--!_"
GEORGE CRUIKSHANK'S "_More Mornings at Bow Street_."
"THE THIMBLE RIG;
OR,
HOW TO BONNET A FLAT!"
[Illustration]
_"Now, then, my jolly Sportsman! I've got more money than the Parson of
the parish! Those as don't play can't vin and those as are here arn't
there! I'd hould any of you, from a tanner to a soverin, or ten, as
you don't tell which thimble the pea is under." "It's there, Sir"--"I
barr tellings"--"I'll go it again."--"Vat you don't see don't look at,
and what you do see don't tell. I'll hould you a soverin, Sir, that
you don't tell me vitch thimble the pea is under."--"Lay him, Sir (in
a whisper); it's under the middle'un I'll go you halves."--"Lay him
another; that's right."--I'm blow'd but we've lost: who'd a thought
it!"--Smack goes the flat's hat over his eyes; exit the confederates
with a loud laugh._
GEORGE CRUIKSHANK'S "_More Mornings at Bow Street_."
"FLYING DUSTMEN."
"The Dustman's cart offends thy clothes and eyes,
When through the street a cloud of ashes flies."--GAY.
[Illustration:
"The Spectre, learning, physic must,
All follow these, and come to dust."]
_Go it, BOB!--pull away?--here's the TRAPS;--cut away, my kiddy, good
luck to you!--Kim aup, Neddy!--kim aup!--blow you, kim aup!--That's the
ticket!_
GEORGE CRUIKSHANK'S "_More Mornings at Bow Street_."
"THE APPROACH OF CHRISTMAS."
[Illustration: "VENERATION--PRIZE BEEF."]
"_Well to be sure, that is a picture! I must have a sirloin for
Christmas-day. It warms the cockles of one's heart to think of it!_"
GEORGE CRUIKSHANK'S "_Illustrations of Phrenology_."
"COLOUR!--FORM!--FIGURE!"
[Illustration]
GEORGE CRUIKSHANK'S "_Illustrations of Phrenology_."
"COMBATIVENESS."
[Illustration: "BILLINGSGATE."]
"_You be smothered, you old Brimstome!--barring I'm a thief, and fond
of the men, what can you say to my prejudice?_"
"_Get out you wagabond! get out, you circumwenting old fish-fag!_"
GEORGE CRUIKSHANK'S "_Illustrations of Phrenology_."
SYMPTOMS OF DRAWING:--
[Illustration: "A TRUCK--A TOOTH--A BOTTLE OF BLACK STRAP--AND A POT OF
HEAVY."]
THE LOBSTERS' CLAUSE;
OR,
THE NEW POLICE BILL.
[Illustration: Now, then, Sir, I'll trouble you to move on!]
I sing, I sing, of the new bill, sir,
That to the people seems a pill, sir,
And shortly I'll relate its clauses,
That you may know what the police law is.
First and foremost, in a straight line running,
For fifteen miles it will stop your funning,
From Charing Cross, which ever way you turn, sir,
If you infringe, your fingers you'll burn, sir.
Oh, dear, oh, dear! they're better off in Greece, sir,
Free from this Metropolitan New Police, sir.
All the people who used to show, sir,
Traps on the pavement, will find it no go, sir,
And now within their shop or dwelling,
Their odd-cum-shorts they must be selling,
If maids after eight their mats should beat, sir,
At the treadmill they'll have a treat,
And, if little boys roll hoops, or fly kites, sir,
They'll be lock'd up seven days and nights, sir.
Oh, dear, &c.
TWELFTH DAY IN LONDON;
OR,
PAYING FOR A PEEP.
[Illustration: R.C.]
"TWELFTH DAY."
Such are the scenes, that, at the front and the side
Of the Twelfth-Cake-Shops, scatter wild dismay;
As up the slipp'ry curb, or pavement wide,
We seek the pastrycooks, to keep Twelfth day;
While ladies stand aghast, in speechless trance,
Look round--dare not go back--and yet dare not advance.
HONE'S "_Every-Day Book_."
BEFORE AND AFTER MARRIAGE; OR, RINGING THE CHANGES.
[Illustration]
"_Say but the word, my dear Susan, and you're mine for ever; we shall
be as happy as the day is long!_"
"_Out o' my sight, you villain! I wish I had never seen your ugly
mug--you have been the curse of my life!_"
AN OSTLER, ALIAS OATSTEALER; OR, A HINT TO TRAVELLERS.
[Illustration]
TRAVELLER: "_Having made myself comfortable, I must now look to my nag,
for these ostlers are sorry dogs._"
OSTLER: "_Aye, you may look, old Bald-face; but as you can't tell no
tales, why, its better you should go without your feed than I without
my pot._"
MUSIC HATH CHARMS TO SOOTH THE SAVAGE BREAST.
[Illustration]
"_I love music, and I don't see why I shouldn't enjoy myself--besides
its a charity to my sick neighbour: it will soothe him to a gentle
slumber!_"
"_Oh, dear! oh, dear--was ever poor devil so tortured!--that infernal
noise will be the death of me!_"
BULLS AND NO JOKES;
OR,
GALLANTRY ON THE GALLOP.
[Illustration]
"_Johnny, you wretch! you're not going to leave me here with these
'orned hanimals? For the love you bear me, come back and help me
over!"--"I'm blessed if I do!--'number one' is the first law of nature,
so here goes! Come along Fowler!_"
DR. BOLUS, OR THE LAST PILL.
_----Throw physic to the dogs:--I'll none of it._
[Illustration: R C]
"_'Twill DO for you, my good friend--it is an infallible remedy for all
diseases!_"
LONDON IN THE DOG DAYS.
[Illustration]
"_Hulloa! take care of that ere dog, I'm blow'd if he arn't as mad as a
March hare! He's bolted with his mistress's kittle, and I'm splashed if
he arn't got the HYDRAPHOBIA, or he wouldn't go past the pump in such a
hurry._"
PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE!
[Illustration]
"_Why, I say, Popjoy, ha'nt you had a bite all day?_"
"_No._"
SEASONABLE AMUSEMENTS;
OR,
"SPORTING A TOE" ON THE ICE.
[Illustration]
Sport that wrinkled care derides,
And laughter holding both his sides.
Come and trip it as you go,
On the light fantastic toe.
MILTON'S "_L'Allegro_."
PITY THE FROZE OUT GARDENERS.
[Illustration: "PITY'S AKIN TO LOVE."]
"_Pity the froze out gardeners!_"--"_I will my poor fellows. I'll
provide you with a WARM reception when you come to me._"
THE COBBLER AND HIS DOXY.
[Illustration]
A COBBLER I am, and my name is Dick Awl,
I'm a bit of a beast, for I live in a _stall_!
With an ugly old wife, and a tortoise-shell cat,
I _mends_ boots and shoes, with a rat a tat tat.
This morning, at breakfast, on bacon and spinage,
Says I, to my wife, "I'm going to Greenwich,"
Says she, "Dickey Awl, aye and I will go too;"
Says I, "Mrs. Awl, I'll be d----d if you do."
A GREENWICH MUTINEER.
[Illustration]
[_Taken from life during the Mutiny at Greenwich Hospital on the
Birthday of his present Majesty._]
"_Shiver my timbers!--here's a go!--no grog on the King's
Birthday!--I'm blest if I don't strike!_"
ENGLISH BEER.
[Illustration: "HEAVY WET."]
King William and Reform, I say,
In such a case who can be neuter?
Just let me blow the froth away,
And see how I will drain the pewter.
Another tankard, landlord, fill,
And let us drink to that ere chap, Broom;
And then we'll chaunt God save King Bill,
And send the echoes thro' the tap-room.
FRENCH BRANDY.
[Illustration]
Ah ha, Mr. Englishman! voyez ici,
De grandest specific to banish ennui,
Begar is a bumper of French eau de vie.
So here's the Rost Bif of Old England,
Wash'd down by the pure Cogniac.
IRISH WHISKEY.
[Illustration]
Och! Judy dear, a fig for beer,
The pleasure sure is greater,
When you are dry, to bung your eye
With quarterns of the "cratur!"
JAMAICA RUM.
[Illustration]
Tho' Whiskey may be priz'd by some,
And others sing the praise of Jackey,
There's nothing like Jamaica Rum,
To warm your dingy frame, Old Blackee.
WHAT A SHOCKING BAD HAT.
[Illustration]
What object meets my wondering gaze,
That knew, I doubt not, better days?
How chang'd in form, alas! from that--
Oh, "What a shocking bad Hat!"
WHAT A SHOCKING BAD BONNET.
[Illustration]
She is quizz'd by the girls--she is smok'd by the boys--
And her ears are saluted by squalling and noise;
While some lad with a tray, and a sheep's head upon it,
Shouts out, "There she goes with a shocking bad bonnet!"
THE LONG-SONG SELLER.
[Illustration]
----"Here ye are my ready money customers; you have 'em here at THREE
YARDS A PENNY. First of all:--
Here's "Jolly nose," "Begone dull care,"
"Black Bess," "What are you at" now?
"My mother bids me bind my hair,"
"How droll!" "All round my hat" now!
"Cease, ye pretty warbling choir,"
"True as is the needle,"
"And ye shall walk in silk attire,"
With "The Parish Beadle!"
"A dainty life the fairy leads,"
"When stars their watch are keeping;"
"In peace love tunes the shepherd's reed,"
"Dear maid, while thou art sleeping!"
"When night-stars dance their fairy rays,"
And here my batch I cry out,--
"Hark! the lark at Heaven's gate sings,"
"There you go with your eye out!"
HOGARTH'S PIEMAN.
[Illustration]
We frequently meet with the pieman in old prints; and in Hogarth's
"March to Finchley," there he stands in the very centre of the crowd,
grinning with delight at the adroitness of one robbery, while he is
himself the victim of another. We learn from this admirable figure
by the greatest painter of English life, that the pieman of the last
century perambulated the streets in professional costume; and we gather
further, from the burly dimensions of his wares that he kept his trade
alive by the laudable practice of giving "a good pennyworth for a
penny." Justice compels us to observe that his successors of a later
generation have not been very conscientious observers of this maxim.
YOUNG LAMBS TO SELL.
[Illustration]
Young lambs to sell! young lambs to sell.
If I'd as much money as I could tell,
I'd not come here with young lambs to sell!
Dolly and Molly, Richard and Nell,
Buy my young lambs, and I'll use you well!
The engraving represents an old "London Crier," one William Liston,
from a drawing for which he purposely _stood_ in 1826.
This "public character" was born in the City of Glasgow. He became a
soldier in the waggon-train commanded by Colonel Hamilton, and served
under the Duke of York in Holland, where, on the 6th of October, 1799,
he lost his right arm and left leg, and his place in the army. His
misfortunes thrust distinction upon him. From having been a private in
the ranks, where he would have remained undistinguished, he became one
of the popular street-characters of his day.
BUY A BROOM!--BUY A BROOM!
[Illustration]
Buy a Broom? was formerly a very popular London-cry, when it was
usually rendered thus:--"_Puy a Proom, puy a prooms? a leetle one for
ze papy, and a pig vons for ze lady: Puy a Proom?_" Fifty years ago
Madame Vestris charmed the town by her singing--
From Teutchland I came with my light wares all laden,
To dear happy England in summer's gay bloom,
Then listen, fair lady, and young pretty maiden,
O buy of the wand'ring Bavarian a broom.
Buy a broom, buy a broom, (_Spoken_) buy a broom,
O buy of the wand'ring Bavarian a broom.
To brush away insects that sometimes annoy you,
You'll find them quite handy by night or by day,
And what better exercise pray can employ you,
Than to sweep all vexatious intruders away.--Buy a broom, &c.
Ere winter comes on for sweet home departing,
My toils for your favour again I'll resume;
And while gratitude's tears in my eye-lids are starting,
Bless the time that in England I cried buy a broom.
(_Spoken_)--Yes I shall go back to my own country, and tell
them there that I sold all my wares in England, singing--
Buy a broom, &c.
But time and fashion has _swept_ both the brooms and the girls from
our shores.--Madame Vestris lies head-to-head with Charles Mathews in
Kensal Green Cemetery. _Tempus omnia revelat._
THE FLYING STATIONER, OTHERWISE PATTERER.
[Illustration]
"Here you have the last speech and dying vords, life, character, and
behaviour of the hunfortunate malefactor that vos hexecuted this
morning hopposite the Debtor's door, in the Hold Bailey! together with
a full confession of the hoffence vherewith he was found guilty--befor
a hupright Judge and a himpartial Jury! Here you have likewise a
copy of the most hinfectionate letter, written by the criminal in
the condemned cell the night _after_--I mean the night _afore_ his
hexecution, to his innocent vife and hunoffending babbies--with a
copy of werses consarning the same--all for the small charge of von
halfpenny.
"Here's tidings sad for owld and young,
Of von who liv'd for years by macing;
And vos this werry morning hung,
The Debtor's Door at Newgate facing.
"Here's his confession upon hoath,
The vords he spoke ven he vos dying,
His birth and eddycation both--
The whole pertic'lers--vell vorth the buying.
"Here's an account of robberies sad,
In vich he alus vos a hactor;
You must to read the life be glad--
Of such a famous malefactor!"
THE HEARTH-STONE MERCHANT.
[Illustration]
"Hearth-stones! Do you want any hearth-stones? Now, my maids, here's
your right sort--reg'lar good'uns, and no mistake--vorth two o'your
shop harticles, and at half the price. Now my pretty von, lay out a
_tanner_, and charge your missus a _bob_--and no cheating neither! the
cook has always a right to make her market penny and to assist a poor
cove like me in the bargain.
"They're good uns, you will find--
Choose any, Marm, as you prefer;
You looks so handsome and so kind,
I'm sure you'll be a customer.
"Three halfpence, Marm, for this here pair--
I only vish as you vould try 'em;
I'm sure you'll say the price is fair--
Come, Marm, a penny if you'll buy 'em.
"There, Betty! I have often said
It isn't dress that makes gentility;
For do observe this hearth-stone blade,
How well he understands ciwility."
THE LONDON BARROW-WOMAN.
[Illustration]
Round and sound,
Two-pence a pound.
Cherries, rare ripe cherries!
Cherries a ha'penny a stick
Come and pick! come and pick!
Cherries big as plums! who comes, who comes?
The late George Cruikshank, whose pencil was ever distinguished by
power of decision in every character he sketched, and whose close
observation of passing men and manners was unrivalled by any artist of
his day, contributed the "London Barrow-woman" to the pages of Hone's
_Every-Day Book_ in 1826 from his own recollection of her.
THE LADY AS CRIES CATS' MEAT.
[Illustration]
Old Maids your custom I invites,
Fork out, and don't be shabby,
And don't begrudge a bit of lights
Or liver for your Tabby.
Hark! how the Pussies make a rout--
To buy you can't refuse;
So may you never be without
The _music_ of their _mews_.
Here's famous meat--all lean, no fat--
No better in Great Britain;
Come, buy a penn'orth for your Cat--
A happ'orth for your Kitten.
Come all my barrow for a bob!
Some charity diskiver;
For faith, it ar'nt an easy job
To _live_ by selling _liver_.
Who'll buy? who'll buy of Cats-meat-Nan!
I've bawl'd till I am sick;
But ready money is my plan;
I never gives no tick.
I've got no customers as yet--
In wain is my appeal--
And not to buy a single bit
Is werry ungenteel!
THE DOGS'-MEAT MAN.
_Founded on Fact._
[Illustration]
In Gray's Inn Lane, not long ago,
An old maid lived a life of woe;
She was fifty-three, and her face like tan,
And she fell in love with a dogs'-meat man.
Much she loved this dogs'-meat man;
He was a good-looking dogs'-meat man;
Her roses and lilies were turn'd to tan,
When she fell in love wi' the dogs'-meat man.
Every morning when he went by,
Whether the weather was wet or dry,
And right opposite her door he'd stand,
And cry "dogs' meat," did this dogs'-meat man.
Then her cat would run out to the dogs'-meat man,
And rub against the barrow of the dogs'-meat man,
As right opposite to her door he'd stand,
And cry "Dogs' Meat," did this dogs'-meat man.
One morn she kept him at the door,
Talking half-an-hour or more;
For, you must know, that was her plan,
To have a good look at the dogs'-meat man.
"Times are hard," says the dogs'-meat man;
"Folks get in my debt," says the dogs'-meat man;
Then he took up his barrow, and away he ran,
And cried "Dogs' Meat," did this dogs'-meat man.
GUY FAWKES--GUY.
[Illustration]
There cannot be a better representation of "Guy Fawkes," as he was
borne about the metropolis in effigy in the days "When George the Third
was King," than the above sketch by George Cruikshank.
Please to remember the fifth of November,
Gunpowder treason and plot;
We know no reason, why gunpowder treason,
Should ever be forgot!
Holla boys! holla boys! huzza--a--a!
A stick and a stake, for King George's sake,
A stick and a stump, for Guy Fawkes' rump!
Holla boys! holla boys! huzza--a--a!
THE PIEMAN; OR, O LORD! WHAT A PLACE IS A CAMP.
[Illustration]
"O Lord! what a place is a camp,
What wonderful doings are there;
The people are all on the tramp,
To me it looks devilish queer:
Here's ladies a swigging of gin,
A crop of macaronies likewise:
And I, with my 'Who'll up and win?
Come, here is your hot mutton pies.'
"Here's galloping this way and that,
With, 'Madam, stand out of the way;'
Here's, 'O fie! sir, what would you be at?--
Come, none of your impudence pray:'
Here's 'Halt--to the right-about-face,'
Here's laughing, and screaming, and cries:
Here's milliners'-men out of place,
And I with my hot mutton pies.
"Here's the heath all round like a fair,
Here's butlers, and sutlers, and cooks;
Here's popping away in the air,
And captains with terrible looks:
Here's 'How do you do?'--'Pretty well;
The dust has got into my eyes,'
There's--'fellow what have you to sell?'
'Why, only some hot mutton pies?'"
ALL ROUND MY HAT I VEARS A GREEN VILLOW.
[Illustration]
All round my hat I vears a green villow,
All round my hat, for a twelvemonth and a day;
If any body axes me the reason vy I vears it,
I tells 'em that my own true love is far far away.
'Twas a going of my rounds, in the streets I first did meet her,
Oh, I thought she vos a hangel just come down from the sky;
(_Spoken_)--She's a nice wegitable countenance; turnup nose,
redish cheeks, and carroty hair.
And I never knew a voice more louder or more sweeter,
When she cried, buy my primroses, my primroses come buy.
(_Spoken_)--Here's your fine cauliflowers.
All round, &c.
O, my love she was fair, my love she was kind, too,
And cruel vos the cruel judge vot had my love to try:
(_Spoken_)--Here's your precious turnups.
For thieving vos a thing she never was inclined to:
But he sent my love across the seas, far far away.
(_Spoken_)--Here's your hard-hearted cabbages.
All round, &c.
SONG OF THE STEAM COACHMAN THAT DRIVES THE OMNIBUS TO THE MOON.
Steam carriages by land are now the order of the day, sir,
But why they haven't started yet, 'tis not for me to say, sir;
Some people hint 'tis _uphill_ work--that loose they find
a screw, sir,
Such novelties, as Pat would say, of _old_ they never _knew_, sir.
Bow, wow, &c.
[Illustration]
Now is the time for a sly trip to _the Moon_, sir,
There's a new RAIL ROAD just made through _the Sky_,
Or if you prefer it, we have a _prime_ BALLOON, sir,
In which you can ascend with me _up sky high_.
Travelling the rage is--in the tying of a sandal,
We take our _tea_ in _Tartary_, or _chop_ at _Coromandel_,
Then when _blazing hot_ we get with _India's gums_ and _spices_,
We take a _stroll_ towards the _Pole_, and _cool our-selves with
ices_.
Now is the time for a sly trip to _the Moon_, sir, &c.
LIFE IN THE BACK SLUMS OF THE HOLY LAND.
[Illustration: R.C.]
There's a difference between a beggar and a queen,
And the reason I'll tell you why;
A queen cannot swagger, nor get drunk like a beggar.
Nor be half so happy as I,--as I.