and Steward,
_L. T._
Our covetous Widow having greedily read over this Letter, was hugely
pleas’d with the Contents thereof, and hugg’d her self for the good
Fortune she was likely to have; for now she resolved that her
Sweet-heart had near five hundred pound _per annum_, besides five
hundred pounds ready mony in his Purse that she knew of, but the latter
end of the Letter did not at all please her, wherein the Steward was so
bold as to put him in minde of his old Love, and she was very fearful
that the five hundred pounds additional Estate that she had, might
incline him to renew his Suit; wherefore all these matters being
considered, she was resolv’d to delay or protract the business no
longer, but upon his next desires of marriage, to accept of it, and that
upon his own terms.
Wherefore two or three days being past over, wherein she had promis’d to
consider of it, and he again desiring her Answer, and withal telling her
that his occasions called him into the Countrey, she therefore tells him
that she was so far perswaded of his Love and Honesty, that she was
ready to be married to him so soon as he pleased, and that without any
terms leaving it to his own disposing, not doubting but as she had
generously cast herself upon him, so that he would be as generous in his
providence for her; he replyed that she should command all he had, and
then by her consent ordering the Wedding Solemnities, they were within
three days married. She hoping that by her freeness with him, he would
be civil to her, gave him the Keys, and thereby the possession of all
her Money, Plate, and writings, and he taking so much as he had present
occasion for, returned the Keys to her again.
And thus they strived to out-do one another in kindness; but some weeks
being past, and he not at all speaking of his Countrey affairs, she put
him in mind of them, telling him that it would be convenient for him to
visit his house in the Countrey, and that if he pleas’d she would
accompany him in the Countrey, and withal adding, that she hoped he
would be as good as his word, and make her a considerable Joynture; he
reply’d that she had so well pleas’d him, that he would make her a
Joynture of all he had, she believing that it was as considerable as the
Letter express’d, gave him many thanks; and thus he fed her with good
words, but still delay’d his Journey, and put her off with some odd
pretence or other, but she at last becoming importunate with him for her
Joynture, he told her that he was so well skill’d in Law, that he would
draw a Draught of it himself, and give it her to advise with her
friends, she was now well enough content, only she still put him in mind
of the Draught of the Joynture; he told her he was about it, and had
almost finished it, and one day told her that now it was done, and that
he also had occasion to take a Journey for three days, and in that time
she might confer with her friends about the Draught he would leave her;
she was very well content, and he taking money in his Pocket went his
journey; when she taking the Paper he had left, and believing it to be
the draught of her Joynture, went to some of her nearest Relations to
confer with, and have their advice about it, but they opening the Paper,
instead of the expected draught of a Joynture, they found these Lines:
_Grave plodding Sirs, my Wife I’ve sent to you,
That you’le advise her what she’d had best to do;
She’s rich and so am I, beyond controul,
For I have Lordships boundless as my soul;
She’s vastly rich what need she covet more?
Yet gaining me, she’s richer than before;
I have no Lands, confest, but I have wit,
Make her such Joynture as you please of it:
I have good parts too, that she knows full well,
And may confess, if not asham’d to tell;
Both which she shall command nor will I be
Unkind to her that was thus kind to me;
What would she more? having enough of Pelf,
Sh’ hath all she could have, since she hath my self:
Dear-second-self, be not displeas’d, that I
Have fram’d a Letter to gain thee thereby:
Who would not rack his wits to spring a Myne
So rich? all other’s poor compar’d to thine;
Now here the Powers above henceforth decree,
That none may work within that Mine but me._
The Gentleman returning, found his wife in so pleasant and _debonair_ a
temper, that he thought she had complotted with her friends some
satisfactory revenge that might be equivalent to the stratagems he had
laid to gain a wealthy Widow, with the subtle pretences of a fair
promising fortune. But having discourst her to every thing, and
penetrating the very recesses of her heart, found she was more satisfied
with his wit in this cunning contrivance, than if he had the real
enjoyment of what he so largely pretended; and now she hugg’d his soul
with much more ardency than her feeble hands could do his body: great
was the satisfaction on both sides, but much greater was the
Gentlewomans, finding an Husband answerable to her desires, beyond all
expectations; neither was the Gentleman backward in making ample
acknowledgements how happy he was in that his propitious stars had by
their clear shining influence lighted him to so fair a wife, with so
large a Fortune: The Friends and Relations of this joyful Bride were all
very well-contented by being out-witted by a Gentleman every way
compleat both as to Soul and Body, each wishing it had been their lucky
hap to have had a Son in Law of so worthy a person.
For a considerable time they nothing but treated one another, which was
done on all sides with so much Gallantry and generous freedom, as
sufficiently demonstrated the greatness of the respects and friendship
they had for one another. The new married Couple were like a pair of
Turtles, always wooing and courting each other, with so much ardency and
affection, that they were look’d upon by all, as the best Pattern of a
kind Husband and a loving Wife. After this manner they lived some years,
and obtained the fruit of all their enjoyments, by having several
Children Males and Females: But as it is usually and philosophically
said that what is violent is seldom permanent, so it prov’d true in our
two Lovers; for though there was no similitude in the loves of others to
theirs, yet length of time made their loves so dissimular to each other
by an unhappy accident, that we have scarcely heard of an Example of the
like kind, which produced a more dismal and lamentable Tragedy.
This Gentlewoman as I have informed you, was an extraordinary Beauty,
very handsome, and of a winning carriage, very familiar where she
observed any thing of merit or desert; only to be blamed for a small
matter of Avarice, which had ever ran in the veins of her Ancestors; but
principally to be admired for her modest deportment and chaste
disposition. In her minority when the sweet Rose-bud, her virginity was
scarce blown, she had a vast quantity of Suiters, which dayly sollicited
her Parents to give their consent that they might address themselves to
the Daughter by the way of marriage, some of the more wealthy sort were
permitted, others for want of a Fortune suitable to hers, were denied,
but she for her part lookt upon them all with so much indifferency, that
she gave none an occasion to boast of her extraordinary favours.
Whilst her amorous Visitants were despairing by reason of her extream
coldness, a young and sprightly Gentleman hearing of her incomparable
beauty, and rare accomplishments crowded in among the rest of her
Adorers, and at first sight concluded what he saw, to out-strip what
ever he had taken upon report, and fell passionately in love with her,
and having not other Rhetorique but his eyes, he employed them so
effectually, that they spake more in his behalf, than if he had had the
advantage of a score of eloquent tongues to have pleaded his Cause; the
warming Rays of these two little glittering Orbs thaw’d her affection
with as much facility as the melting Sun dissolves an hoary frost
crisping the Pearly-dew’d grass in a _May_-morning. Thus at the first
interview there was a reciprocal return of each others affections, but
though there was a suitableness in their wills, yet there was a
desparity in their Fortunes, which caused her friends to be utterly
against any overture that should be made as to a Match with this young
Gentleman and their Daughter, and lest there should be any private
conference between them which might more strongly cement their
affections, they resolved to prevent all things of that nature by
sending her to a place not only remote, but altogether unknown to any
but themselves.
What an heart-breaking this was to our two Lovers I will give you leave
to imagine; for a time it was almost intolerable, but Absence the best
remedy for a Love-sick heart cured her in some part; and hearing that
her friend’s discontent had forced him to travel with a resolution never
to return, (she being call’d home to her fathers house) was induced to
permit the visits of her Amorists as before; and now seeing herself
incapable of holding out longer, by reason of the perswasion of her
Parents, and incessant importunities of her Lover, yields to him, and so
they were married, with whom she lived very happily; but her Husband
dying, she lived a while a widow, in hope to hear from her first Lover,
which ever makes the deepest impression on the amorous heart, but being
assur’d by several credible persons (as she thought) that he was dead,
she bathing his memory with some tears, resolved when opportunity should
fair and advantagiously offer it self, she would throw off her
Widow-hood and re-assume her former condition. To this purpose several
addressed themselves to her, but she being a politick and crafty woman,
gave ear to them all, but gave credit to none. And indeed for my part I
cannot but applaud her prudence in not too hastily marrying after the
decease of her Husband, if it were for nothing else than the dayly
treats a woman shall meet withal in that condition, if she be handsome;
if wealthy, how will the presents come tumbling hourly into her lap? Not
a beauty hunter in the Town but will endeavour to have a flurt at the
Widow, and not a younger brother or decay’d Gallant but will try to
sawder up his crack’d Fortunes, though he spend his whole Revenue on
her, that is, either what he hath about him, or what he can borrow upon
a thousand Oaths and Protestations. But to return where I left off, this
Widow admitted several to caress her, whom she entertained handsomely
befitting their quality; among the rest this last (indigent) Gentleman
accosted her, the greatness of whose affections with the pretence of a
great Estate, carried her from all the rest; happily they lived some
considerable time, and longer they might have so done, had not this
Gentlewomans first Lover returned, who did so upon no other account than
that he heard his dearly beloved Mistress was in a condition to receive
him into her bosom, and so make him amends for all the sorrow and
trouble he had sustained for her sake: but finding his expectations
frustrated, he behaved himself like a man distracted, especially when he
had heard from her own mouth, had he been present, of all the men in the
world she would have chosen him for her Husband. This indeared
expression as it would at another time have transported him into an
Extasie of Joy, so now it wrought contrary effects upon him, for to
think by his rash and inconsiderate absenting himself he had lost that
inestimate prize he might have enjoy’d by waiting near it with patience.
His madness encreas’d to that height, he took his Bed and fell into a
desperate Fever; his Mistress hearing in what a sad condition this poor
Gentleman lay for her sake, could do no less than give him a visit to
comfort him, and reduce him if it were possible to his former
understanding, for he raved night and day, continually calling on her
name, exclaiming against her cruelty, and I know not what.
The ravings of this Gentleman were bruited every where some pitying him,
whilst they cunningly pryed into the cause of his distemper, and by
reason he was a person well known to most of the inhabitants, old
stories were rapt up, and all concluded the deplorableness of his
present state proceeded from this Gentlewoman.
Her Husband was not so deaf, but that he heard all these mutterings,
which extreamly disturb’d his spirits, insomuch that he now began to
question in his thoughts his Wife’s fidelity to him, but exprest not his
resentments in the least, resolving to see what the event of these
things would be. The Gentlewoman on the other side fearing lest she
should be the death of him she once loved equally with her own life,
resolved to restore him if she could, and to that intent she judg’d the
best expedient was to remove his despair, by giving him some hopes that
he had a share in that heart still which was once totally his; which she
did with so much assurance (though with no such intent) that he had not
so lost his senses but that he understood what she said, and therefore
begg’d a repetition of these words again, which she did so sweetly and
with so much seeming reality, that this remedy had like to have proved
his absolute ruine, for at this he cryed out as loud as his weakned
spirits would give leave, O let me die! since none more happy now than
I, and so fell into a swound; there were none in the Room but these two,
but the Gentlewoman with her shrieks soon fill’d the Room, who assisted
all to recal him, with much difficulty they did, and now their greatest
care was to get him to sleep; he was now easily perswaded to any thing,
to all their admirations, and so reposing him self that night, there was
by the next morning wrought so wonderful a change that all his friends
were amazed. This miraculous recovery plainly appeared to proceed from
his Doctress for after this there was not a visit that she gave him,
which did not sensibly amend him.
At length he was restored to his perfect health, and now did this
Gentlewomans Husband fall sick of a worse distemper, the _Plague of
Jealousie_, and raved as the other had done, but in a worse manner; for
now he did not stick to call that wife (which he knew with all her
Friends to be honest and virtuous) Whore, Strumpet, _&c._ It was to no
purpose for her to justify her innocency, for he was so strongly possest
with an opinion of her dishonesty, that he would not hear the least Plea
in her behalf, but so enrag’d he was that nothing proceeded out of his
mouth but vows to be revenged on his Wife and loose Associate; several
attempts he made on them both, but ineffectual; insomuch that it was now
high time for their friends to advise them not to come near him, till
some means might be used to convince him of his misbelief, and to lay
open the danger that would ensue should he persist in this misgrounded
opinion.
This counsel was well receiv’d and followed, this Jealous Gentleman
being thus deserted, and the Subjects of his revenge removed from him,
ran up and down like a mad-man, but seeing at last this could not be the
way to effect his purpose, desisted from raving, and seemed to hearken
to the counsel of his friends who advised by all means to harbour no
such unworthy thought of his wife, pawning their souls she was as honest
as their own, with many more perswasions, which he hearkned to with
great attention seemingly, and to be short, acknowledg’d his error; and
if that they would be the instruments of bringing his wife to him again,
he would on his knees beg her forgiveness, and the Gentleman whom he had
wrong’d, they making him bind his promise with many Vows and
Protestations, assured him they would use their utmost endeavour, in
short time they prevailed with the Gentlewoman to return upon the
Conditions aforesaid.
Coming home, this hypocritical jealous Devil prepared a sumptuous
Dinner, and invited his supposed Rival, with many friends to rejoyce
with him in this happy reconciliation between him and his wife, and in
the mean time he applied himself to an Apothecary, an intimate friend of
his, whom he thought wicked enough for his purpose, and one that he
might confidently trust, telling him that his wife was a Whore, and that
he knew the Rogue her lascivious Paramour; that he was a dead man if he
was not revenged on them both by death, and for that purpose he must
help him to a strong dose of poyson that shall dispatch them instantly;
the Apothecary after some pauses, with the proviso of never being
discovered, consented, and gave him something in a paper, which with
much joy he received, and carried home with all expedition. By this time
dinner was ready and serv’d up, the Guests seated, and he bidding them
welcome with a chearful countenance, declar’d to the whole Company that
he had highly wrong’d his wife, and that Gentleman pointing to him, that
if they would forgive him, he would make them amends; they readily
condescended to what he had propounded, and now nothing but a general
jolity was observed throughout the Table, the Glasses went about
merrily, there being all sorts of wine to excess; and now let me bring
this feast to its Catastrophe. The Cloth being removed, and all prepared
and ready for a Grace-cup, this graceless man, the Master of the Feast,
call’d for a Bottle of Wine, in which before he had conveyed what he had
received from the Apothecary, and filling out thereof in a large glass
up to the brimm, drank an health to his wife, wishing they might never
have more difference here, his Wife and all the Company gladly accepted
the notion; he having drank it off filled to his wife, which she drank
off to her former Lover, he receives it, and drank, as the other had
done, to the next having so done, the Husband started up, saying, It was
enough, it should go no further; every one admired at the humour, which
he perceiving, said, you must think I love my wife and her friends
better than so, than that they should drink what you do, they deserve to
have something therein better than ordinary to end all differences on
Earth, and make them Saints in Heaven, I love them not so ill as not to
bear them company; Come, come to your prayers for a prosperous journey,
our time is but short. Lord! what a confusion was all the room in, when
they heard him speak after this manner, knowing now that he had
perfected his revenge by poysoning them and himself too. Several were
dispatcht instantly for Antidote to expel the poyson, whilst the poor
Gentlewoman and her friend were on their knees offering up their last
Petitions: having said some Prayers, Husband, said she, I forgive you
with all my Soul, but know, I ever lov’d you too well to defile your
Bed, and as these are (as I suppose) the last words I shall ever speak
to you more, I am innocent as to what you unjustly suspect me with; and
let me, said her friend, on the dying words of a sinful man protest, I
never defiled your Bed, and do believe her from all others as chaste as
the chastest Vestal-Virgin; whilst they were thus confessing, the
Apothecary came in just as the Husband had kneeled to ask Heaven
forgivenness for this triple murder. The Apothecary seeing them all in
this posture, he broke out into a very extravagant laughter, which made
the Husband turn about his head, who seeing the Apothecary, cryed out,
Seize that Villain, it is he that hath help’d me to do this damn’d Act,
it is he that hath furnished me with those hellish materials to murder
the innocent; by this time conceit had so wrought on the other two, that
by their faces it was high time the Apothecary saw to unriddle the whole
matter; wherefore desiring them to rise, Gentlemen, said he, the Master
of this house upon a discontent grounded on jealousie, the particulars
whereof you all know, came to me, and desired assistance in his revenge
by poyson, had I deny’d him he would have gone to some else, who might
have embraced his wicked design, but to the intent I might hinder all
further attempts, I gave him nothing but what was harmless, and assure
your selves there is no danger in what you have drank, my life for
yours; this strangely amaz’d them all, the Gentlewoman was demanded how
she felt her self, she acknowledged to have no sense of alteration, and
so did the other; the Husband seeing how fouly his Plot was discovered,
and being ashamed to breath after so much intentional guilt, drew a
Dagger and attempted to stabb himself three or four times, but was still
prevented, being at last somewhat pacified by his good wife, he retired,
and having for two years sequestred himself from the enjoyments of the
world, exercising himself in all things that became a penitent man, he
vowed a weekly pennance during his life, and so was throwly reconciled
to his wife, and the moderate enjoyments of this life.
And thus Mistress _Dorothy_ finished all her Stories acquainting us
further, that amongst these many Amorists that came to see her, her
friend the Scrivener, became intimately acquainted with her, and
frequenting her Company often, gained so great an Interest in her, that
he being bound for the _East Indies_, perswaded her to go with him in
mans apparel, which she did, and there found some of her old
acquaintance, and one that had been so familiar with her before in
_England_. Every one had now given an account of the most considerable
passages of their lives, excepting only the Captain, who being
sollicited thereunto, freely condescended to anatomize his life, without
mincing the least material truth, and thus in the Chapters following
gives you the whole relation.
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