_The Gentleman Soldier gives an account how he came acquainted with an
extraordinary beautiful, yet seemingly reserved_ Courtezan, _who
slighting him having spent all upon her, he makes himself amends, by
cheating her of what she had gotten; he gains acquaintance with a
Mercers Wife by a mistake, or rather by Letters falling accidentally
into his hands, that were sent her by her_ Inamoretto, _by which means
he finds a sufficient reward, besides his sensual enjoyment of so
lively and grateful a Mistress._
Be pleased to know then, continued he, that when I came first into
_Paris_, I supposed that as I was young, handsome, and in a very rich
gentle Garb, so I did believe that it would not be long e’re I should
have some Message or invitation from some Madam or other, but although I
waited long for this Adventure, yet I met with nothing to that purpose,
but all the _French_-Ladies although they are in their converse open and
free, yet come up close to them, and they are as cold as _December_ or
that which is colder, Charity, they would not at all be so charitable to
me a stranger, as permit me to close with them, so that I thought I must
have returned from thence as wise as I went, for any thing I should know
of women; I finding that of my self I could not do any thing, therefore
I observed those of my acquaintance what they did in that Case, and at
length I found that for all their braggs they were as well furnished
with Mistresses as I was, and indeed had none, or at the least none at
all that they durst particularly own, but a poor common _Courtesanna_: I
seeing there was no better to be had, was resolved rather than fail to
put in there, and to play at small Game rather than stand out: wherefore
I took the next opportunity of going with one of my acquaintance to one
of those houses, but although I had fasted a great while, yet my stomach
was so squeamish that I liked nothing that was there, but only in
drinking and talking spent some time and so departed.
I was observed whilest I was there by an old grave Matrona, who two or
three days after, meeting me, alone, told me that she had seen me at the
house aforesaid, by which she could guess at my business, and finding
that there was never a Dish that liked my Pallat, and being desirous to
be civil to, and accommodate all strangers, she would pleasure me so
far, as to bring me acquainted with the most celebrated beauty of all
_Paris_. I liked her Proposition; first gave her thanks, and then told
her if she would name the time and place, I would gladly wait on her;
She told me that she was ready at all times and in all places to serve
me, and that I might therefore appoint what time I pleas’d. I who had no
business but my pleasure answered that if she would about four of the
Clock in the afternoon come to the Place where we then were, I would not
fail to meet her, she telling me that she would come at the time, we
parted; I went to sprucifie my self and put Money in my pocket, and she
went as I suppose to prepare the Madam to receive me. The time being
come, I went to the place appointed, where I met with my Conductress who
already waited for me, I went with her, and in short time we arrived at
the house intended, I was conducted up stairs, and received by the Lady
with much kindness; the old woman made a Speech to us both, tending to
the purpose intended, and then wine being call’d for and a Banquet, we
regalled our selves, and spent our time in pleasant conversation; the
old woman knowing what I came for, in convenient time left me alone with
the Lady, who permitted me to take the satisfaction I desired, and then
I giving her a handful of Crown-pieces, which was the key of the work,
and she promising me a continuance of her love. The old woman was again
call’d for, when she came we renewed our discourse, which continuing for
some time longer, I also giving somewhat to the old woman, and the
Servants of the house, we soon after parted.
As I went to my lodging I considered of the Adventure I had met with,
and the next day enquired what this Lady was, and upon enquiry found
that she was a Right _Bona Roba_, but such an one that was not ordinary,
but reserved, and only kept company with the better sort of _Monsieurs_,
I was well enough pleas’d, with what had happened, and was resolved
during my stay in _Paris_ to look no further after any female, and
accordingly I often frequented her house, and was received as kindly as
I could expect, I commanded the house in all I pleased, and lay there
when I thought good; but this my pleasure consumed and confounded my
pocket, and my allowance from _England_ being but small, was in short
time so wasted that I could not hold out to spend so largely as I had
done, and as the strength of my pocket decreased, so did her love
diminish, and when I had no more mony, she had no more love. _No longer
pipe, no longer dance_, and now as others had formerly been denied, and
kept out of her doors, to entertain me, so then the doors were shut
against me for others; I was vexed at the baseness and ingratitude of
this woman, and resolv’d to be revenged of her if I could, and I made it
my only study to do so, I had written into _England_ for mony, which was
in short time to come, till when I plaid the good husband, and staid
within doors, and so recovered my expences, so that when my mony came, I
was in Capacity to put new Cloaths on my back, and good store of Crowns
in my pocket, I likewise borrowed some Rings of some of my acquaintance,
to whom I communicated my design, desiring their assistance, which they
accordingly promised me. Being thus well furnished, and set out with
good outside, new Clothes, I again attempted to see my _quondam_
Mistress, but was the first time denied entrance, although I was so
liberal as to give the Servant a Crown-piece, and thereby had the means
to discover that I had more of the same in my pocket, but the next time
that I came thither, I was admitted, and my Mistress pleasantly saluting
me, told me that I was very welcome from my Voyage: I ask’d what Voyage?
she told me from _England_; I replyed I had not been there lately; she
told me that then some body had abused her and me both, and told lies of
me; for, said she, I did not question if you had been in these parts,
but I should have seen you, where you alwaies have been welcome; for,
continued she, you know that so long as I have a house you may command
your welcome in it; I but, thought I, to little purpose, and concluded
that all these terms of welcome were but words of Dissimulation, and
would last no longer than my money did in pocket, but being resolved to
prosecute my design, I would not so far take notice of what she said as
to quarrel with her about it, but using my former wonted freedom, I sate
down, and call’d for such Wine and other things as I had a mind to, and
spent two or three hours very pleasantly with her; and by that means
renewing my acquaintance, I gave no occasion of distrust of what I
intended. During my stay there, I gave her the convenience of seeing a
rich Gold Watch I had in my pocket, and several Rings I had on my
fingers, and that my pockets were very well lyned with Silver and Gold,
and drawing out as much as was sufficient, I delivered it to her Servant
to provide a Supper against the next night, when I told her I would
return and sup, and lye there, she telling me I should be welcome, we
for that time parted. I then went to two or three of my acquaintance who
were to help me in my Design, and directing them what to do, the time
appointed being come, I went to her house, and knowing that my Mistress
was a great Lover of wine, and that it would be necessary to make her
drunk, I carried some bottles with me; being arrived there, she again
kindly welcomed me, and pleas’d her eyes with beholding my rich Suit of
Cloaths, my Watch, Rings, and the fulness of my pockets, not questioning
but that I would leave a good part of these behind me, but she reckoned
without her Host, as I shall presently tell you.
Supper being ready we sate down at the Table, and did eat plentifully,
but did drink more abundantly, I telling her that she must be merry, she
to oblige me drank of her Cups so roundly, that she fell asleep as she
sate at the Table, from whence I caused her to be carried to bed, where
she was no sooner laid, but she fell a snoaring. I then having given the
Servants a dose of the same Liquor caused them to go to Bed, telling
them that I could undress my self, and go to bed without their
assistance.
I then being alone looked about to see what was to be done, I there saw
a Cabinet wherein was the womans Jewels and money, and looking a little
further I saw her Cloathes, and some Plate, and not long after my
friends whom I had appointed being come, I began to work, first I threw
down out at the window her best Cloathes, and all my own, and by the
help of her Garters I let down the Cabinnet, her Plate, and so much as
the silver Candlestick which we had used; this done, I left the window
open, and then went to Bed to my Lady, who although she slept hard at
present, yet before morning she awaked, and then we spent our time as we
formerly had done; and being somewhat wearied, we again went to sleep,
but about an hour after awaking and finding that it was broad-day-light,
I called out for the Servant to bring me my Clothes that I might rise,
in regard (as I said) that I had some business to dispatch that morning.
But the Servant looking about for them and not seeing them, nor her
Mistresses, nor the Cabinets, nor the Candlesticks, and missing many
things, which she had over night left in the Chamber, and seeing one of
the Chamber windows open, she cryed out, O Lord Madam, we are robb’d; at
this cry her Mistress drawing the Curtain, ask’d what was the matter for
that noise? O Lord, replyed the wench, we are robb’d, for I cannot see
your Clothes, your Cabinet, your Plate, nor several other things.
Heavens forbid, said the Mistress, I hope you lye; no truly Mistress,
continued the wench. Where then, said I, is my Clothes? They are
likewise stolen, replied the Wench, for I cannot find them. At this word
I seem’d to be mightily astonished, and thereupon I said,
Madam, put these Tricks and Gulleries upon others, and not upon me, who
can see through all your disguises, what do you intend, or think to
chowse me in this manner? How, my Love, replyed she, what do you say?
Now you see I am utterly ruin’d, is this all the comfort you will give
me? No, no, replied I, you must sing another song, or else i’le make
you, because you saw I came hither with good Clothes, and my pockets
cramm’d with Money and Jewels, you think to catch me with this trick,
making me believe that you have been robb’d, but I swear to you,
continued I, that you shall not carry it thus, and that I will go to the
Magistrate and have you and your Family every one of you clapt up; and
having thus said, I leapt out of the Bed; and naked as I was in my
shirt, I went to the window and cryed out Thieves. This poor woman now
more dead than alive, seeing that beside her great loss, she was likely
to receive a great affront, leap’d also out of the Bed, and falling
about my neck, with lifted up hands, and tears in her eyes, begg’d of me
to have pity on her, and that now after she had lost all, I would not go
to ruine her quite in her Reputation; I therefore seemed to be moved
with her Prayers, but said to her, must I be forced to live here for
want of Clothes to go out? No (replyed she) go to Bed again, and I will
send to one of my friends to borrow a suit of Clothes for you, and
thereupon she immediately sent away to a _French_-Knight who was one of
her Gallants, to borrow one of his best Suits of Clothes, pretending
that she had a fancy to disguise her self in mans apparel. The Messenger
soon returning, and bringing a fair Suit of Clothes, and all other
necessaries, I arose, dressed my self, and taking my leave of my
Mistress, went to my friends, where upon examination of my Cabinet, I
found that I had increas’d my stock to above twice as much treasure as I
had spent upon her, and a good Suit of Clothes into the bargain: He
having finished his Story (said Mistress _Dorothy_) I told him he was
very hard hearted to use a poor Lady so, and one who had been so kind to
him, and that although she had refused him admittance when all his Mony
was spent, there is some reason for it, for it is possible said I, you
would have brought her and your self into extream beggery; well, replyed
he, I know you are not a competent Judge in this case, and therefore I
was unwilling to acquaint you with any of these matters; but, continued
he, I will if you please, proceed in the other story I promised you, and
so conclude.
I desiring him so to do, he went on thus: I being in this manner, said
he, revenged of one Mistress, did resolve to leave her off quite, lest
she should in time pay me off in my own Coin, and did endeavour to get
another, but could not meet with or find any to my mind; but I and one
of those of my acquaintance who had assisted me in my late exploit, one
day talking of our female friends, told me that indeed, although he had
not gain’d so much by a Mistress at once as I had done by mine, yet he
had such a Mistress as had bin not only pleasing, but very profitable to
him, for said he, I can command fifty or a hundred Crowns at any time; I
marry Sir, said I, that is a good Mistress indeed, and is more than
ordinary; yes replyed he, she is no ordinary person. I hearing him say
so, knew it was to no purpose to ask her Name and Quality, but did
resolve so to watch him that I would find it out, I usually therefore
kept him Company and like his shadow still attended him, but he being as
cunning as I was crafty, so privately mannag’d his amours, that I could
not possibly find him out, I therefore sometimes lay with him, and took
the opportunity of searching his Pockets for Letters, but found none, so
that I was very doubtful of attaining my Ends, which was to discover who
this unknown invisible Lady was, I finding that my acquaintance was too
close to get any thing out of, was resolved to take another course, and
since I could not out-wit the Master, try if my Boy could out-wit his; I
therefore instructed my Boy in what he was to do, and ordered him to get
in with the other, and get out of him one time or other, whether he did
not carry Letters to any Persons, and to whom. My Boy was not so long
about his Discovery as I had been about mine, for in a short time he
told me that the Boy was often employed to carry Letters to a Mercers
Maid, who lived in the next street, and also to a Carrier who conveyed
Letters to an Unkle; I now partly knowing the Who, was desirous of
knowing the What, and therefore ordered my Boy by one means or other to
get one of his Letters and bring it unto me. He so well discharged
himself in this employ, that it was not long e’re he brought me one. I
being very curious to know the Contents, soon opened it, for heating a
Knife in the fire, I put it under the Seal, which melted the Wax in that
place, and so it was open, wherein I found these expressions. Madam,
I _am very sorry that I am so unfortunate, that in the term of fourteen
days I have not had the happiness of waiting on you, sure the old man is
grown jealous, or which is worse, you begin to slight me, or else some
expedient might have been found to have deceived him: I shall say no
more at present, referring the rest of my Complaints till I see you,
which happy minute I beseech you hasten, or else you will very much
afflict_
_Your constant Friend_,