GREAT MAN TO LONDON TO INJURE HIS REPUTATION
It is the custom on the stage, in all good murderous melodramas, to
present the tragic and the comic scenes, in as regular alternation,
as the layers of red and white in a side of streaky bacon. The hero
sinks upon his straw bed, weighed down by fetters and misfortunes;
in the next scene, his faithful but unconscious squire regales the
audience with a comic song. We behold, with throbbing bosoms, the
heroine in the grasp of a proud and ruthless baron: her virtue and
her life alike in danger, drawing forth her dagger to preserve
the one at the cost of the other; and just as our expectations are
wrought up to the highest pitch, a whistle is heard, and we are
straightway transported to the great hall of the castle; where a
grey-headed seneschal sings a funny chorus with a funnier body of
vassals, who are free of all sorts of places, from church vaults to
palaces, and roam about in company, carolling perpetually.
Such changes appear absurd; but they are not so unnatural as
they would seem at first sight. The transitions in real life from
well-spread boards to death-beds, and from mourning-weeds to holiday
garments, are not a whit less startling; only, there, we are
busy actors, instead of passive lookers-on, which makes a vast
difference. The actors in the mimic life of the theatre, are blind
to violent transitions and abrupt impulses of passion or feeling,
which, presented before the eyes of mere spectators, are at once
condemned as outrageous and preposterous.
As sudden shiftings of the scene, and rapid changes of time and
place, are not only sanctioned in books by long usage, but are by
many considered as the great art of authorship: an author’s skill in
his craft being, by such critics, chiefly estimated with relation to
the dilemmas in which he leaves his characters at the end of every
chapter: this brief introduction to the present one may perhaps
be deemed unnecessary. If so, let it be considered a delicate
intimation on the part of the historian that he is going back to
the town in which Oliver Twist was born; the reader taking it for
granted that there are good and substantial reasons for making
the journey, or he would not be invited to proceed upon such an
expedition.
Mr. Bumble emerged at early morning from the workhouse-gate, and
walked with portly carriage and commanding steps, up the High
Street. He was in the full bloom and pride of beadlehood; his cocked
hat and coat were dazzling in the morning sun; he clutched his cane
with the vigorous tenacity of health and power. Mr. Bumble always
carried his head high; but this morning it was higher than usual.
There was an abstraction in his eye, an elevation in his air, which
might have warned an observant stranger that thoughts were passing
in the beadle’s mind, too great for utterance.
Mr. Bumble stopped not to converse with the small shopkeepers and
others who spoke to him, deferentially, as he passed along. He
merely returned their salutations with a wave of his hand, and
relaxed not in his dignified pace, until he reached the farm where
Mrs. Mann tended the infant paupers with parochial care.
‘Drat that beadle!’ said Mrs. Mann, hearing the well-known shaking
at the garden-gate. ‘If it isn’t him at this time in the morning!
Lauk, Mr. Bumble, only think of its being you! Well, dear me, it _is_
a pleasure, this is! Come into the parlour, sir, please.’
The first sentence was addressed to Susan; and the exclamations of
delight were uttered to Mr. Bumble: as the good lady unlocked the
garden-gate: and showed him, with great attention and respect, into
the house.
‘Mrs. Mann,’ said Mr. Bumble; not sitting upon, or dropping himself
into a seat, as any common jackanapes would: but letting himself
gradually and slowly down into a chair; ‘Mrs. Mann, ma’am, good
morning.’
‘Well, and good morning to _you_, sir,’ replied Mrs. Mann, with many
smiles; ‘and hoping you find yourself well, sir!’
‘So-so, Mrs. Mann,’ replied the beadle. ‘A porochial life is not a
bed of roses, Mrs. Mann.’
‘Ah, that it isn’t indeed, Mr. Bumble,’ rejoined the lady. And all
the infant paupers might have chorused the rejoinder with great
propriety, if they had heard it.
‘A porochial life, ma’am,’ continued Mr. Bumble, striking the table
with his cane, ‘is a life of worrit, and vexation, and hardihood;
but all public characters, as I may say, must suffer prosecution.’
Mrs. Mann, not very well knowing what the beadle meant, raised her
hands with a look of sympathy, and sighed.
‘Ah! You may well sigh, Mrs. Mann!’ said the beadle.
Finding she had done right, Mrs. Mann sighed again: evidently to the
satisfaction of the public character: who, repressing a complacent
smile by looking sternly at his cocked hat, said,
‘Mrs. Mann, I am going to London.’
‘Lauk, Mr. Bumble!’ cried Mrs. Mann, starting back.
‘To London, ma’am,’ resumed the inflexible beadle, ‘by coach. I
and two paupers, Mrs. Mann! A legal action is a coming on, about
a settlement; and the board has appointed me--me, Mrs. Mann--to
dispose to the matter before the quarter-sessions at Clerkinwell.
And I very much question,’ added Mr. Bumble, drawing himself up,
‘whether the Clerkinwell Sessions will not find themselves in the
wrong box before they have done with me.’
‘Oh! you mustn’t be too hard upon them, sir,’ said Mrs. Mann,
coaxingly.
‘The Clerkinwell Sessions have brought it upon themselves, ma’am,’
replied Mr. Bumble; ‘and if the Clerkinwell Sessions find that they
come off rather worse than they expected, the Clerkinwell Sessions
have only themselves to thank.’
There was so much determination and depth of purpose about the
menacing manner in which Mr. Bumble delivered himself of these
words, that Mrs. Mann appeared quite awed by them. At length she
said,
‘You’re going by coach, sir? I thought it was always usual to send
them paupers in carts.’
‘That’s when they’re ill, Mrs. Mann,’ said the beadle. ‘We put the
sick paupers into open carts in the rainy weather, to prevent their
taking cold.’
‘Oh!’ said Mrs. Mann.
‘The opposition coach contracts for these two; and takes them
cheap,’ said Mr. Bumble. ‘They are both in a very low state, and
we find it would come two pound cheaper to move ‘em than to bury
‘em--that is, if we can throw ‘em upon another parish, which I think
we shall be able to do, if they don’t die upon the road to spite us.
Ha! ha! ha!’
When Mr. Bumble had laughed a little while, his eyes again
encountered the cocked hat; and he became grave.
‘We are forgetting business, ma’am,’ said the beadle; ‘here is your
porochial stipend for the month.’
Mr. Bumble produced some silver money rolled up in paper, from his
pocket-book; and requested a receipt: which Mrs. Mann wrote.
‘It’s very much blotted, sir,’ said the farmer of infants; ‘but it’s
formal enough, I dare say. Thank you, Mr. Bumble, sir, I am very
much obliged to you, I’m sure.’
Mr. Bumble nodded, blandly, in acknowledgment of Mrs. Mann’s
curtsey; and inquired how the children were.
‘Bless their dear little hearts!’ said Mrs. Mann with emotion,
‘they’re as well as can be, the dears! Of course, except the two
that died last week. And little Dick.’
‘Isn’t that boy no better?’ inquired Mr. Bumble.
Mrs. Mann shook her head.
‘He’s a ill-conditioned, wicious, bad-disposed porochial child
that,’ said Mr. Bumble angrily. ‘Where is he?’
‘I’ll bring him to you in one minute, sir,’ replied Mrs. Mann.
‘Here, you Dick!’
After some calling, Dick was discovered. Having had his face put
under the pump, and dried upon Mrs. Mann’s gown, he was led into the
awful presence of Mr. Bumble, the beadle.
The child was pale and thin; his cheeks were sunken; and his eyes
large and bright. The scanty parish dress, the livery of his misery,
hung loosely on his feeble body; and his young limbs had wasted
away, like those of an old man.
Such was the little being who stood trembling beneath Mr. Bumble’s
glance; not daring to lift his eyes from the floor; and dreading
even to hear the beadle’s voice.
‘Can’t you look at the gentleman, you obstinate boy?’ said Mrs.
Mann.
The child meekly raised his eyes, and encountered those of Mr.
Bumble.
‘What’s the matter with you, porochial Dick?’ inquired Mr. Bumble,
with well-timed jocularity.
‘Nothing, sir,’ replied the child faintly.
‘I should think not,’ said Mrs. Mann, who had of course laughed very
much at Mr. Bumble’s humour.
‘You want for nothing, I’m sure.’
‘I should like--’ faltered the child.
‘Hey-day!’ interposed Mr. Mann, ‘I suppose you’re going to say that
you _do_ want for something, now? Why, you little wretch--’
‘Stop, Mrs. Mann, stop!’ said the beadle, raising his hand with a
show of authority. ‘Like what, sir, eh?’
‘I should like,’ faltered the child, ‘if somebody that can write,
would put a few words down for me on a piece of paper, and fold it
up and seal it, and keep it for me, after I am laid in the ground.’
‘Why, what does the boy mean?’ exclaimed Mr. Bumble, on whom the
earnest manner and wan aspect of the child had made some impression:
accustomed as he was to such things. ‘What do you mean, sir?’
‘I should like,’ said the child, ‘to leave my dear love to poor
Oliver Twist; and to let him know how often I have sat by myself and
cried to think of his wandering about in the dark nights with nobody
to help him. And I should like to tell him,’ said the child pressing
his small hands together, and speaking with great fervour, ‘that I
was glad to die when I was very young; for, perhaps, if I had lived
to be a man, and had grown old, my little sister who is in Heaven,
might forget me, or be unlike me; and it would be so much happier if
we were both children there together.’
Mr. Bumble surveyed the little speaker, from head to foot, with
indescribable astonishment; and, turning to his companion, said,
‘They’re all in one story, Mrs. Mann. That out-dacious Oliver had
demogalized them all!’
‘I couldn’t have believed it, sir’ said Mrs Mann, holding up her
hands, and looking malignantly at Dick. ‘I never see such a hardened
little wretch!’
‘Take him away, ma’am!’ said Mr. Bumble imperiously. ‘This must be
stated to the board, Mrs. Mann.
‘I hope the gentleman will understand that it isn’t my fault, sir?’
said Mrs. Mann, whimpering pathetically.
‘They shall understand that, ma’am; they shall be acquainted with
the true state of the case,’ said Mr. Bumble. ‘There; take him away,
I can’t bear the sight on him.’
Dick was immediately taken away, and locked up in the coal-cellar.
Mr. Bumble shortly afterwards took himself off, to prepare for his
journey.
At six o’clock next morning, Mr. Bumble: having exchanged his cocked
hat for a round one, and encased his person in a blue great-coat
with a cape to it: took his place on the outside of the coach,
accompanied by the criminals whose settlement was disputed; with
whom, in due course of time, he arrived in London.
He experienced no other crosses on the way, than those which
originated in the perverse behaviour of the two paupers, who
persisted in shivering, and complaining of the cold, in a manner
which, Mr. Bumble declared, caused his teeth to chatter in his head,
and made him feel quite uncomfortable; although he had a great-coat
on.
Having disposed of these evil-minded persons for the night, Mr.
Bumble sat himself down in the house at which the coach stopped; and
took a temperate dinner of steaks, oyster sauce, and porter. Putting
a glass of hot gin-and-water on the chimney-piece, he drew his chair
to the fire; and, with sundry moral reflections on the too-prevalent
sin of discontent and complaining, composed himself to read the
paper.
The very first paragraph upon which Mr. Bumble’s eye rested, was the
following advertisement.
‘FIVE GUINEAS REWARD
‘Whereas a young boy, named Oliver Twist, absconded, or
enticed, on Thursday evening last, from his home, at was
Pentonville; and has not since been heard of. The above
reward will be paid to any person who will give such
information as will lead to the discovery of the said Oliver
Twist, or tend to throw any light upon his previous history,
in which the advertiser is, for many reasons, warmly
interested.’
And then followed a full description of Oliver’s dress, person,
appearance, and disappearance: with the name and address of Mr.
Brownlow at full length.
Mr. Bumble opened his eyes; read the advertisement, slowly and
carefully, three several times; and in something more than five
minutes was on his way to Pentonville: having actually, in his
excitement, left the glass of hot gin-and-water, untasted.
‘Is Mr. Brownlow at home?’ inquired Mr. Bumble of the girl who
opened the door.
To this inquiry the girl returned the not uncommon, but rather
evasive reply of ‘I don’t know; where do you come from?’
Mr. Bumble no sooner uttered Oliver’s name, in explanation of his
errand, than Mrs. Bedwin, who had been listening at the parlour
door, hastened into the passage in a breathless state.
‘Come in, come in,’ said the old lady: ‘I knew we should hear of
him. Poor dear! I knew we should! I was certain of it. Bless his
heart! I said so all along.’
Having heard this, the worthy old lady hurried back into the parlour
again; and seating herself on a sofa, burst into tears. The girl,
who was not quite so susceptible, had run upstairs meanwhile;
and now returned with a request that Mr. Bumble would follow her
immediately: which he did.
He was shown into the little back study, where sat Mr. Brownlow and
his friend Mr. Grimwig, with decanters and glasses before them. The
latter gentleman at once burst into the exclamation:
‘A beadle. A parish beadle, or I’ll eat my head.’
‘Pray don’t interrupt just now,’ said Mr. Brownlow. ‘Take a seat,
will you?’
Mr. Bumble sat himself down; quite confounded by the oddity of Mr.
Grimwig’s manner. Mr. Brownlow moved the lamp, so as to obtain an
uninterrupted view of the beadle’s countenance; and said, with a
little impatience, ‘Now, sir, you come in consequence of having seen
the advertisement?’
‘Yes, sir,’ said Mr. Bumble.
‘And you _are_ a beadle, are you not?’ inquired Mr. Grimwig.
‘I am a porochial beadle, gentlemen,’ rejoined Mr. Bumble proudly.
‘Of course,’ observed Mr. Grimwig aside to his friend, ‘I knew he
was. A beadle all over!’
Mr. Brownlow gently shook his head to impose silence on his friend,
and resumed:
‘Do you know where this poor boy is now?’
‘No more than nobody,’ replied Mr. Bumble.
‘Well, what _do_ you know of him?’ inquired the old gentleman. ‘Speak
out, my friend, if you have anything to say. What _do_ you know of
him?’
‘You don’t happen to know any good of him, do you?’ said Mr.
Grimwig, caustically; after an attentive perusal of Mr. Bumble’s
features.
Mr. Bumble, catching at the inquiry very quickly, shook his head
with portentous solemnity.
‘You see?’ said Mr. Grimwig, looking triumphantly at Mr. Brownlow.
Mr. Brownlow looked apprehensively at Mr. Bumble’s pursed-up
countenance; and requested him to communicate what he knew regarding
Oliver, in as few words as possible.
Mr. Bumble put down his hat; unbuttoned his coat; folded his arms;
inclined his head in a retrospective manner; and, after a few
moments’ reflection, commenced his story.
It would be tedious if given in the beadle’s words: occupying, as it
did, some twenty minutes in the telling; but the sum and substance
of it was, that Oliver was a foundling, born of low and vicious
parents. That he had, from his birth, displayed no better qualities
than treachery, ingratitude, and malice. That he had terminated his
brief career in the place of his birth, by making a sanguinary
and cowardly attack on an unoffending lad, and running away in the
night-time from his master’s house. In proof of his really being the
person he represented himself, Mr. Bumble laid upon the table the
papers he had brought to town. Folding his arms again, he then
awaited Mr. Brownlow’s observations.
‘I fear it is all too true,’ said the old gentleman sorrowfully,
after looking over the papers. ‘This is not much for your
intelligence; but I would gladly have given you treble the money, if
it had been favourable to the boy.’
It is not improbable that if Mr. Bumble had been possessed of this
information at an earlier period of the interview, he might have
imparted a very different colouring to his little history. It was
too late to do it now, however; so he shook his head gravely, and,
pocketing the five guineas, withdrew.
Mr. Brownlow paced the room to and fro for some minutes; evidently
so much disturbed by the beadle’s tale, that even Mr. Grimwig
forbore to vex him further.
At length he stopped, and rang the bell violently.
‘Mrs. Bedwin,’ said Mr. Brownlow, when the housekeeper appeared;
‘that boy, Oliver, is an imposter.’
‘It can’t be, sir. It cannot be,’ said the old lady energetically.
‘I tell you he is,’ retorted the old gentleman. ‘What do you mean by
can’t be? We have just heard a full account of him from his birth;
and he has been a thorough-paced little villain, all his life.’
‘I never will believe it, sir,’ replied the old lady, firmly.
‘Never!’
‘You old women never believe anything but quack-doctors, and lying
story-books,’ growled Mr. Grimwig. ‘I knew it all along. Why didn’t
you take my advise in the beginning; you would if he hadn’t had a
fever, I suppose, eh? He was interesting, wasn’t he? Interesting!
Bah!’ And Mr. Grimwig poked the fire with a flourish.
‘He was a dear, grateful, gentle child, sir,’ retorted Mrs. Bedwin,
indignantly. ‘I know what children are, sir; and have done these
forty years; and people who can’t say the same, shouldn’t say
anything about them. That’s my opinion!’
This was a hard hit at Mr. Grimwig, who was a bachelor. As it
extorted nothing from that gentleman but a smile, the old lady
tossed her head, and smoothed down her apron preparatory to another
speech, when she was stopped by Mr. Brownlow.
‘Silence!’ said the old gentleman, feigning an anger he was far from
feeling. ‘Never let me hear the boy’s name again. I rang to tell you
that. Never. Never, on any pretence, mind! You may leave the room,
Mrs. Bedwin. Remember! I am in earnest.’
There were sad hearts at Mr. Brownlow’s that night.
Oliver’s heart sank within him, when he thought of his good friends;
it was well for him that he could not know what they had heard, or
it might have broken outright.