Unworthy Bella! The good woman, although low in circumstance, is great
in mind! Much greater than those who would impute meanness to a soul
incapable of it.
What then have you done with the sums given you from infancy to
squander?--Let me ask you [affecting archness], Has, has, has Lovelace,
has your rake, put it out at interest for you?
O that my sister would not make me blush for her! It is, however, out at
interest!--And I hope it will bring me interest upon interest!--Better
than to lie useless in my cabinet.
She understood me, she said. Were I a man, she should suppose I was
aiming to carry the county--Popularity! A crowd to follow me with their
blessings as I went to and from church, and nobody else to be regarded,
were agreeable things. House-top-proclamations! I hid not my light under
a bushel, she would say that for me. But was it not a little hard upon
me, to be kept from blazing on a Sunday?--And to be hindered from my
charitable ostentations?
This, indeed, Bella, is cruel in you, who have so largely contributed to
my confinement.--But go on. You'll be out of breath by-and-by. I cannot
wish to be able to return this usage.--Poor Bella! And I believe I
smiled a little too contemptuously for a sister to a sister.
None of your saucy contempts [rising in her voice]: None of your poor
Bella's, with that air of superiority in a younger sister!
Well then, rich Bella! courtesying--that will please you better--and it
is due likewise to the hoards you boast of.
Look ye, Clary, holding up her hand, if you are not a little more abject
in your meekness, a little more mean in your humility, and treat me with
the respect due to an elder sister--you shall find--
Not that you will treat me worse than you have done, Bella!--That cannot
be; unless you were to let fall your uplifted hand upon me--and that
would less become you to do, than me to bear.
Good, meek creature:--But you were upon your overtures just now!--I
shall surprise every body by tarrying so long. They will think some good
may be done with you--and supper will be ready.
A tear would stray down my cheek--How happy have I been, said I,
sighing, in the supper-time conversations, with all my dear friends in
my eye round their hospitable board.
I met only with insult for this--Bella has not a feeling heart. The
highest joy in this life she is not capable of: but then she saves
herself many griefs, by her impenetrableness--yet, for ten times the
pain that such a sensibility is attended with, would I not part with the
pleasure it brings with it.
She asked me, upon my turning from her, if she should not say any thing
below of my compliances?
You may say, that I will do every thing they would have me do, if they
will free me from Mr. Solmes's address.
This is all you desire at present, creeper on! insinuator! [What words
she has!] But will not t'other man flame out, and roar most horribly,
upon the snatching from his paws a prey he thought himself sure of?
I must let you talk in your own way, or we shall never come to a point.
I shall not matter in his roaring, as you call it. I will promise him,
that, if I ever marry any other man, it shall not be till he is married.
And if he be not satisfied with such a condescension, I shall think he
ought: and I will give any assurances, that I will neither correspond
with him, nor see him. Surely this will do.
But I suppose then you will have no objection to see and converse, on a
civil footing, with Mr. Solmes--as your father's friend, or so?
No! I must be permitted to retire to my apartment whenever he comes.
I would no more converse with the one, than correspond with the other.
That would be to make Mr. Lovelace guilty of some rashness, on a belief,
that I broke with him, to have Mr. Solmes.
And so, that wicked wretch is to be allowed such a controul over you,
that you are not to be civil to your father's friends, at his own house,
for fear of incensing him!--When this comes to be represented, be so
good as to tell me, what is it you expect from it!
Every thing, I said, or nothing, as she was pleased to represent it.--Be
so good as to give it your interest, Bella, and say, further, 'That
I will by any means I can, in the law or otherwise, make over to my
father, to my uncles, or even to my brother, all I am entitled to by my
grandfather's will, as a security for the performance of my promises.
And as I shall have no reason to expect any favour from my father, if I
break them, I shall not be worth any body's having. And further
still, unkindly as my brother has used me, I will go down to Scotland
privately, as his housekeeper [I now see I may be spared here] if he
will promise to treat me no worse than he would do an hired one.--Or
I will go to Florence, to my cousin Morden, if his stay in Italy will
admit of it. In either case, it may be given out, that I am gone to the
other; or to the world's end. I care not whither it is said I am gone,
or do go.'
Let me ask you, child, if you will give your pretty proposal in writing?
Yes, with all my heart. And I stepped to my closet, and wrote to the
purpose I have mentioned; and moreover, the following lines to my
brother.